Would you go on a trip with a friend who doesn’t ever want to meet locally?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am SO confused by how you are perceiving this.

You are NOT LOCAL to each other. You live hours away from each other. She DOES want to see you - but on vacation.

She is single and wants someone to travel with!

The past few years she has been dealing with the pandemic and a sick and dying mom.

What is your problem? If you want to see her, so her. If you dont, dont. But dont not see her just because she'd rather go on a trip than hang out in her or your city.

I was attempting to be anonymous. While I am 99% certain my friend does not go on DCUM, I am sure people in my DMV life do come on here. My friend and I live one state away. It is 2.5 hours no traffic but normally takes 3-4 hours. Yes, we don’t live 20 min away but it is very easy to meet locally, meaning her local in her area. I was not asking her to come to me or drive anywhere. As I wrote above, she lives close to my parents as we are childhood friends and I believe she currently lives at her mom’s house although I’m not even sure of that. She gets squirmy if I ask any details. She used to be very open but not anymore since her divorce.

We are on fine terms, the exact same as before this work trip even came up. I have not tried to see her since last year when she also asked me to go somewhere. Now that I think of it, she had asked me to go skiing in another country on short notice. If I remember correctly, it was difficult for me to coordinate because of the kids and I had said let’s meet up locally to ski. Locally meaning somewhere she and I both could drive to. The international and local ski trip never happened.

Why are you so obsessed with meeting up ‘locally’? She doesn’t want to hang out with you in her home town or yours, she wants to travel with you! And you live 4 hours away, that is not local. I wouldn’t want to ski anywhere around DC, but I would totally go to the Alps with friends! I have some local friends, as in live in my same county, 15 mins away, and we mostly see each other on trips. Like maybe once or twice a year we’ll grab a quick dinner, but spend several days together in Europe or the Caribbean or whatever.

If you want to be part of this woman’s life, travel with her. Or tell her you’re done with her!

I am actually not trying to meet her at all. She was the one who randomly brings up some trip. DH thinks she just wants me to pay for it. That’s his perspective because she can’t do the trip without me paying for it so she asks if I want to go. In years past, I have paid in full for trips to Europe, Asia, Middle East, Vegas, Florida, Arizona, NYC. DH was annoyed because I still paid for her when she was married. He was like why are we still paying for her.

She couldn’t extend the work trip because it is an expensive area.

So either DH is right and she just takes advantage and has no interest in actually hanging out with me, only to go on trips. Or she is truly depressed or mentally ill. It is probably a mix of the two.

You are quite possibly the dumbest OP on DCUM right now.

Yes, you are trying to meet her. When she discussed the work trip you brought up seeing her another time.

I meant I was not trying to meet her before she reached out to me and told me how much she misses me and wanted to see me. I did not reach out to her first and try to see her out of the blue.

I did not want her to be completely alone on her birthday so I tried to see her next week. At this same time, I tried to get the ball rolling on dates, flights and hotels since it is a month away. Dh already has a lot on his calendar. I can’t just leave. I have to coordinate with Dh since we have 3 kids.

She reached out again and tried to plan some bigger trip for a milestone birthday. I didnt respond and don’t plan on planning anything with her.

omg stop and go take a few Xanax. Find something to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has a demanding job. He was looking at his schedule and the questions were very basic like what day(s) are your work meetings. Which airport are you flying into. There are multiple airports and the city and surrounding areas are quite vast. I was not prying about who or what company or what her meetings were about. The questions were about dates and location.

what is this mumbo jumbo? Is this OP writing more nonsense?

It is not mumjo jumbo. It is not unreasonable to ask a person you are joining on a trip what airport they are flying into when it is a large city and what day they are arriving.

[Anonymous]

Do you have mind block or something?

Or is this whole thread a joke?

[Anonymous]

Talk about not seeing the forest through the trees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk about not seeing the forest through the trees.

I ended up visiting my friend after all. I brought her a cake and we ate at her house. Her house was clean and it did not look like she has left the house in quite some time. We will be going on our trip. It is very different when you see someone face to face vs on the phone or via text. I had not “seen” my friend in 5+ years. She told me she felt bad about not having money and didn’t want my DH thinking she was a loser and pay for her once again. I told her that I would be happy to cover the costs and that she shouldn’t think of it as DH covering her costs. It would be me. The reason she was so squirmy about her actual trip is because she had not booked anything yet. I booked the best hotel in that city and she can just stay with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Local is Bethesda to Reston, not MD to NC. You are long distance friends.

It will be more fun to see each other on vacay than driving up and down 95 for 12 hours round trip to spend a whole weekend drinking wine in someone’s guest room IMO but YMMV.

The drive took me 2.5 hours. There was no traffic. I live in a high traffic area as does she so I got lucky with no traffic. I guess I often drive up during holidays so there is always extra traffic on those weekends.

[Anonymous]

That was lovely OP! Best wishes for a renewed relationship!