How do I learn self-control?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP. I will also add that I grew up in a household with a very relaxed approach to food, so I was allowed to eat as much junk as I wanted. That only served to intensify my sweet tooth. I advise you to stop buying your kids unhealthy snacks.

I don't. DH does. I've talked to him about this, and he says they shouldn't suffer because I can't stop eating.

Well, he is harming them long term. I wish my parents didn't allow me to eat refined carbs every day (especially considering they know our family's history with diabetes). My sister doesn't have a sweet tooth so she's fine, but it was really painful for me to cut out refined carbs--cake and donuts bring me actual joy. If I hadn't grown up in a household with a relaxed attitude about food, maybe my sugar craving wouldn't have developed the way it did.

Fortunately-unfortunately, they are all very healthy athletes with normal weight. They need some carbs to participate in their sports.

DP if you're the OP, your lax approach to food for your family is everything that's wrong. They need healthy carbs yes. They don't need junk food and sugar.

They're not eating junk food. Healthy carbs, yes. But I cannot eat ANY carbs and successfully lose weight, which is why I call them junk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP. I will also add that I grew up in a household with a very relaxed approach to food, so I was allowed to eat as much junk as I wanted. That only served to intensify my sweet tooth. I advise you to stop buying your kids unhealthy snacks.

I don't. DH does. I've talked to him about this, and he says they shouldn't suffer because I can't stop eating.

Well, he is harming them long term. I wish my parents didn't allow me to eat refined carbs every day (especially considering they know our family's history with diabetes). My sister doesn't have a sweet tooth so she's fine, but it was really painful for me to cut out refined carbs--cake and donuts bring me actual joy. If I hadn't grown up in a household with a relaxed attitude about food, maybe my sugar craving wouldn't have developed the way it did.

Fortunately-unfortunately, they are all very healthy athletes with normal weight. They need some carbs to participate in their sports.

DP if you're the OP, your lax approach to food for your family is everything that's wrong. They need healthy carbs yes. They don't need junk food and sugar.

They're not eating junk food. Healthy carbs, yes. But I cannot eat ANY carbs and successfully lose weight, which is why I call them junk.

You need to educate yourself better.
Also, you sound really lazy

[Anonymous]

Medication - I finally worked with an obesity medicine doctor - there are so many medicines which curbed cravings and food noise - from the injectables to phentermine and metformin.

[Anonymous]

Practice self control in a different area of your life to build that muscle. Some examples: stick to a strict wake up or sleep schedule. Hold off on a purchase(s). Complete a crossword puzzle each day. Don't raise your voice or otherwise yell at your kids, especially when you really want to. You can build from these little things and then turn your attention to the foods and drinks you consume. Start with one thing: alcohol or caloric drinks and cut it out of your diet for a week. See if you can extend that to build more self control. Please don't shame yourself as soneone suggested. You be doing secondary injury to an already sore spot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP. I will also add that I grew up in a household with a very relaxed approach to food, so I was allowed to eat as much junk as I wanted. That only served to intensify my sweet tooth. I advise you to stop buying your kids unhealthy snacks.

I don't. DH does. I've talked to him about this, and he says they shouldn't suffer because I can't stop eating.

Well, he is harming them long term. I wish my parents didn't allow me to eat refined carbs every day (especially considering they know our family's history with diabetes). My sister doesn't have a sweet tooth so she's fine, but it was really painful for me to cut out refined carbs--cake and donuts bring me actual joy. If I hadn't grown up in a household with a relaxed attitude about food, maybe my sugar craving wouldn't have developed the way it did.

Fortunately-unfortunately, they are all very healthy athletes with normal weight. They need some carbs to participate in their sports.

DP if you're the OP, your lax approach to food for your family is everything that's wrong. They need healthy carbs yes. They don't need junk food and sugar.

They're not eating junk food. Healthy carbs, yes. But I cannot eat ANY carbs and successfully lose weight, which is why I call them junk.

You need to educate yourself better.
Also, you sound really lazy

I need to educate myself on how my own body reacts? Mmkay. Take your CrossFit cult somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

Eat more protein and full fat things like whole milk yogurt nuts and seeds and oatmeal to fill you up so you can resist. Dark chocolate chips fro cravings.

[Anonymous]

Medication is helping many people. It made me feel sick and I couldn't get above the lowest dose.

I eat between about 6 and 2 pm. Then I stop eating completely and do at least a 16 hour fast. I drink herbal tea and water with lemon. It's been about two months and I'm doing pretty well. I'm definitely down about 7 or so pounds and my clothes are fitting better.

I'm 100% a food addict and this has helped me understand my patterns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Medication is helping many people. It made me feel sick and I couldn't get above the lowest dose.

I eat between about 6 and 2 pm. Then I stop eating completely and do at least a 16 hour fast. I drink herbal tea and water with lemon. It's been about two months and I'm doing pretty well. I'm definitely down about 7 or so pounds and my clothes are fitting better.

I'm 100% a food addict and this has helped me understand my patterns.

Oh I like this idea.

People need to stop beating themselves up for being fat. Many people lack self-control in a lot of areas. I, for instance, have been trying to spend less time on DCUM for years to no avail, but that fact that I lack self-control in this area doesn't make me feel bad about myself. I'm not overweight so it's probably easy for me to say, but if you need medication, there is no shame in it.

[Anonymous]

Part of that might be anxiety, treat your anxiety and you won't snack compulsively.

Cut out sugars and carbs and let yourself snack on other things eg nuts or yogurt. It will reduce your sugar cravings which is half of the snacking impulse.

Force yourself to fill snacking time with another activity. When you find yourself headed to the kitchen to get a snack, make that moment the time to walk around your living room five times or to put in a load of laundry. Rewire your physical reaction to the 'I want a snack' thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Medication is helping many people. It made me feel sick and I couldn't get above the lowest dose.

I eat between about 6 and 2 pm. Then I stop eating completely and do at least a 16 hour fast. I drink herbal tea and water with lemon. It's been about two months and I'm doing pretty well. I'm definitely down about 7 or so pounds and my clothes are fitting better.

I'm 100% a food addict and this has helped me understand my patterns.

Oh I like this idea.

People need to stop beating themselves up for being fat. Many people lack self-control in a lot of areas. I, for instance, have been trying to spend less time on DCUM for years to no avail, but that fact that I lack self-control in this area doesn't make me feel bad about myself. I'm not overweight so it's probably easy for me to say, but if you need medication, there is no shame in it.

This sounds kind, but isn't. Being fat is an awful drain on yourself, your family, the medical system. You likely doom your children to the same fate.

You can rewrite your whole family narrative by successfully kicking this habit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Medication is helping many people. It made me feel sick and I couldn't get above the lowest dose.

I eat between about 6 and 2 pm. Then I stop eating completely and do at least a 16 hour fast. I drink herbal tea and water with lemon. It's been about two months and I'm doing pretty well. I'm definitely down about 7 or so pounds and my clothes are fitting better.

I'm 100% a food addict and this has helped me understand my patterns.

Oh I like this idea.

People need to stop beating themselves up for being fat. Many people lack self-control in a lot of areas. I, for instance, have been trying to spend less time on DCUM for years to no avail, but that fact that I lack self-control in this area doesn't make me feel bad about myself. I'm not overweight so it's probably easy for me to say, but if you need medication, there is no shame in it.

This sounds kind, but isn't. Being fat is an awful drain on yourself, your family, the medical system. You likely doom your children to the same fate.

You can rewrite your whole family narrative by successfully kicking this habit.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP. I will also add that I grew up in a household with a very relaxed approach to food, so I was allowed to eat as much junk as I wanted. That only served to intensify my sweet tooth. I advise you to stop buying your kids unhealthy snacks.

I don't. DH does. I've talked to him about this, and he says they shouldn't suffer because I can't stop eating.

So I have mixed views on this suggestion, but I put it out here: can you husband put his snacks in a spot you will never find? I am not a fan of hiding food but the reality is that different members of a family can have different triggers. We are trying to figure this out ourselves. As an example, I can eat 5 chips and stop. My husband eats the whole bag. He can eat 2 cookies and I eat the whole bag. So we are considering hiding food which is weird.

[Anonymous]

It might be worth looking into Zepbound. I'm on it and it's made a world of difference in how I manage food intake. I've tried every app, weighing every ounce, program, trainer, therapist/trainer (although she was really good), and I just couldn't get the food part down. I'm only on the lowest dose, but it has changed how I consider food.

For example, I work from home and it's my kid's birthday. He wanted donuts, so there are about 9 donuts in the kitchen right now. I was only able to eat a half of one this morning. Normally I would have been in at least 2 by now. The desire isn't there, and neither is the hunger.

The meds are working to teach me what my body really does need. It's really hard, especially if you had any type of eating issues or disorders. I really consider this a lifesaver medicine.

[Anonymous]

OP, I sympathize with you. My spouse doesn't get it at all and doesn't understand.

Processed food/sugar addiction is really so hard.

In most environments people give you a hard time for restricting junk foods and don't understand that it is like alcoholism or drug addiction. Constantly on your mind. One oreo is too much and the entire package is not enough. Would you leave bottles of vodka in your house if your spouse was an alcoholic?

I had a therapist when I was in my 20s and very thin and fit tell me that I was too vain to ever get fat when I tried to talk to her about my food issues and my binge eating. Well, jokes on her sadly as I am 20lbs over weight in my 50s b/c metabolism and loss of the "selfcontrol" battle.

Sticking to a low carb/ atkins/ south beach style diet and practicing time restricted eating (closing the kitchen at 7pm and not eating again until around 9 or 10am) has worked best for me for years at a time. In the Whole 30 world they talk about certain foods where the wheels come off and I have experienced that -it's like relapsing and going on a bender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Medication is helping many people. It made me feel sick and I couldn't get above the lowest dose.

I eat between about 6 and 2 pm. Then I stop eating completely and do at least a 16 hour fast. I drink herbal tea and water with lemon. It's been about two months and I'm doing pretty well. I'm definitely down about 7 or so pounds and my clothes are fitting better.

I'm 100% a food addict and this has helped me understand my patterns.

Oh I like this idea.

People need to stop beating themselves up for being fat. Many people lack self-control in a lot of areas. I, for instance, have been trying to spend less time on DCUM for years to no avail, but that fact that I lack self-control in this area doesn't make me feel bad about myself. I'm not overweight so it's probably easy for me to say, but if you need medication, there is no shame in it.

This sounds kind, but isn't. Being fat is an awful drain on yourself, your family, the medical system. You likely doom your children to the same fate.

You can rewrite your whole family narrative by successfully kicking this habit.

I don't mean for it to be kind. I think it's just a fact that beating yourself up isn't the way to make any meaningful change, regardless of how bad what you're doing is. There are a lot of things that are awful drains on an individual, their family, and society, and people don't think that shaming them is the solution. Loving yourself, on the other hand, is transformative and leads to lasting change. Also, it's not true that losing weight is necessarily going to re-write your family narrative. It might but parents have much less control over their kids than they think they do. I know plenty of thin people with fat kids, and fat people with thin kids, and of course genetics is king when it comes to body size.