How much stress is too much stress?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was suicidal while at NCS. I’m now on the fence between Flint Hill and SSSAS for my own DD because she has a similar temperament and I want her to flourish, not be crushed.

I would look at schools more mellow. No one deserves that and I am sorry for your experience.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the poster above about the supposedly supportive school. A lot of puffery about how laid back and chill parents are, when at the end of the day, it’s similar to most DC schools - full of overachieving families and overachieving kids who have a hard time dealing with competition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two high schoolers at the Big3 and they are continually stressed and miserable. I would not chose this again but it's too late to change and they don't want to for friend reasons.

Did you crow when they were accepted to an “elite” school? Do you warn other parents not to make the same mistake?

NP probably not and I don’t blame them. Nobody wants to bash their kids school unless to close friends/family. Plus, if you bash something that other people view as desirable, you are perceived as having something wrong with you.

So why post a thread to ask what can parents do if the parents whose kids are going through so much stress are not willing to save others from the stress they are posting about?

Why perpetuate the reputation of the very school their kids are supposedly suffering through?

Your logic is so bizarre. Are you an insecure public school parent?

Just because you don’t bash your school, doesn’t mean you call it perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the poster above about the supposedly supportive school. A lot of puffery about how laid back and chill parents are, when at the end of the day, it’s similar to most DC schools - full of overachieving families and overachieving kids who have a hard time dealing with competition.

Please tell us which school you are talking about - c’mon - it’s an anonymous board. Pretty please? Many of us worry about the same and want to make a good decision for our kids.

[Anonymous]

This board shows fake social media is. The schools’ seasonal magazines, student-led class Instagram pages and the schools’ pages show nothing but sunshine & rainbows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the poster above about the supposedly supportive school. A lot of puffery about how laid back and chill parents are, when at the end of the day, it’s similar to most DC schools - full of overachieving families and overachieving kids who have a hard time dealing with competition.

Please tell us which school you are talking about - c’mon - it’s an anonymous board. Pretty please? Many of us worry about the same and want to make a good decision for our kids.

+1 Please name the school. We are looking at a NW “Big 5” school because it has a reputation for not being a pressure cooker…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two high schoolers at the Big3 and they are continually stressed and miserable. I would not chose this again but it's too late to change and they don't want to for friend reasons.

Did you crow when they were accepted to an “elite” school? Do you warn other parents not to make the same mistake?

NP probably not and I don’t blame them. Nobody wants to bash their kids school unless to close friends/family. Plus, if you bash something that other people view as desirable, you are perceived as having something wrong with you.

So why post a thread to ask what can parents do if the parents whose kids are going through so much stress are not willing to save others from the stress they are posting about?

Why perpetuate the reputation of the very school their kids are supposedly suffering through?

Your logic is so bizarre. Are you an insecure public school parent?

Just because you don’t bash your school, doesn’t mean you call it perfect.

See following posts asking parents to name their schools. Parents complain but won’t even name their schools on an anonymous board. Oh, it’s a Big 5 in upper NW DC? Just name it, ffs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the poster above about the supposedly supportive school. A lot of puffery about how laid back and chill parents are, when at the end of the day, it’s similar to most DC schools - full of overachieving families and overachieving kids who have a hard time dealing with competition.

Please tell us which school you are talking about - c’mon - it’s an anonymous board. Pretty please? Many of us worry about the same and want to make a good decision for our kids.

+1 Please name the school. We are looking at a NW “Big 5” school because it has a reputation for not being a pressure cooker…

I was not aware that any of the big 5 (by which I mean big 7-ish, since no one agrees on the 5) had a reputation for not being a pressure cooker.

[Anonymous]

I’m telling you, Burke, Field, SAES and a few others are the ultimate life hacks. If your kid can do well at these schools - with very little homework or intense pressure - they will get into the same colleges as the kids at “Big 5” schools. You’ll see sh**ty responses to this, but don’t let it alter you. Check out the schools that everyone disdains. Then, look at the universities that the top 10-15% of those classes get into. Then, determine if your kid could be in the top 15%. And if the answer is yes, you’ve figured out a complex problem and given your kids the gift of normalcy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the poster above about the supposedly supportive school. A lot of puffery about how laid back and chill parents are, when at the end of the day, it’s similar to most DC schools - full of overachieving families and overachieving kids who have a hard time dealing with competition.

Please tell us which school you are talking about - c’mon - it’s an anonymous board. Pretty please? Many of us worry about the same and want to make a good decision for our kids.

+1 Please name the school. We are looking at a NW “Big 5” school because it has a reputation for not being a pressure cooker…

I was not aware that any of the big 5 (by which I mean big 7-ish, since no one agrees on the 5) had a reputation for not being a pressure cooker.

NP but I think Maret has a reputation for not being a pressure cooker but mainly compared to STA/NCS and SFS.

[Anonymous]

I agree that the big 3 or whatever are pressure cookers. I have kids at one. But I also know my kids are on the intense side and probably would be a bit intense wherever they went. They also weren’t socially happy at their old school and now have made really great friends. They like the school and don’t want to leave. Do I wish they had less work and got more sleep? Yes. But I also think these schools have a lot to offer. My oldest child is now at a college that admits something like 8 percent of applicants and has found it easy in comparison. He feels extremely prepared compared to classmates from gentler schools, so maybe that’s one payoff? College is less stressful for sure. In short, I’d say that if a school is making your child mentally ill, or you perceive it to be having a negative impact on their mental health, try therapy, but don’t hesitate to pull them out if that doesn’t make a difference. Similarly, if you find that your smart child feels “dumb” in that type of environment, maybe let them be a big fish elsewhere. These schools are definitely not right for everyone, but while there’s certainly a lot of room for improvement, I wouldn’t conclude that they’re not right for anyone. And all kids have stress, especially in this region, public or private. It’s an unavoidable part of life everyone needs to learn to manage. There’s no way to avoid it completely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m telling you, Burke, Field, SAES and a few others are the ultimate life hacks. If your kid can do well at these schools - with very little homework or intense pressure - they will get into the same colleges as the kids at “Big 5” schools. You’ll see sh**ty responses to this, but don’t let it alter you. Check out the schools that everyone disdains. Then, look at the universities that the top 10-15% of those classes get into. Then, determine if your kid could be in the top 15%. And if the answer is yes, you’ve figured out a complex problem and given your kids the gift of normalcy.

Can someone name ALL the DMV schools that fall into above basket? That would be incredibly helpful to those of us deciding this week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m telling you, Burke, Field, SAES and a few others are the ultimate life hacks. If your kid can do well at these schools - with very little homework or intense pressure - they will get into the same colleges as the kids at “Big 5” schools. You’ll see sh**ty responses to this, but don’t let it alter you. Check out the schools that everyone disdains. Then, look at the universities that the top 10-15% of those classes get into. Then, determine if your kid could be in the top 15%. And if the answer is yes, you’ve figured out a complex problem and given your kids the gift of normalcy.

This! Exactly what I’m hearing from friends who have kids that graduated last year.

[Anonymous]

NP we went thru 9th grade applications 2 years ago and intentionally focused on NW DC schools that we didn’t think (and we were counseled by our 8-k) would be super intense—just not the right fit our our kid DC applied to Field, Maret and Burke, with last 2 being top choices. Selected Maret and is very happy there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m telling you, Burke, Field, SAES and a few others are the ultimate life hacks. If your kid can do well at these schools - with very little homework or intense pressure - they will get into the same colleges as the kids at “Big 5” schools. You’ll see sh**ty responses to this, but don’t let it alter you. Check out the schools that everyone disdains. Then, look at the universities that the top 10-15% of those classes get into. Then, determine if your kid could be in the top 15%. And if the answer is yes, you’ve figured out a complex problem and given your kids the gift of normalcy.

+100

I chose a school above for DC after watching SLAC classmates from pressure cooker schools crash and burn once getting to college.