How much stress is too much stress?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As many people have noted, there isn't one cause of high stress in students; there are many. This includes parents forcing their kids into schools not based on the fit, but on the fantasy that this school will be a pipeline to the Ivies. The reality is that schools like NCS exist for a very particular type of student, one that is ambitious, self-motiviated resilient, and invested in learning. Most teenagers aren't like this at all, but there are some who are. The school has had a reputation for its rigor for many decades, and this attracts many parents. However, once their kids are admitted and experience the degree of work, these same parents then complain that the school is too stressful for their children. Instead of moving their kid to another school, they expect the school to change for them. But it's that very rigor their child is struggling with that drew them to the school in the first place. Then, there are the parents who tell their kids that anything less than an A is unacceptable. I agree with people that schools such as NCS should revisit the mandatory sports requirement, especially for juniors and senior years. This would open up more time for these students.

The parents I know whose kids go to NCS are very nice and relaxed. It is their dd's who are driven and sought it. With that being said, I agree fully it's a school mostly for driven girls. So consider that if your child is not?

The parents I know there are driven and pass it to their kids. They may not appear so at receptions, but they are.

This! They put on a chill front

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As many people have noted, there isn't one cause of high stress in students; there are many. This includes parents forcing their kids into schools not based on the fit, but on the fantasy that this school will be a pipeline to the Ivies. The reality is that schools like NCS exist for a very particular type of student, one that is ambitious, self-motiviated resilient, and invested in learning. Most teenagers aren't like this at all, but there are some who are. The school has had a reputation for its rigor for many decades, and this attracts many parents. However, once their kids are admitted and experience the degree of work, these same parents then complain that the school is too stressful for their children. Instead of moving their kid to another school, they expect the school to change for them. But it's that very rigor their child is struggling with that drew them to the school in the first place. Then, there are the parents who tell their kids that anything less than an A is unacceptable. I agree with people that schools such as NCS should revisit the mandatory sports requirement, especially for juniors and senior years. This would open up more time for these students.

The parents I know whose kids go to NCS are very nice and relaxed. It is their dd's who are driven and sought it. With that being said, I agree fully it's a school mostly for driven girls. So consider that if your child is not?

The parents I know there are driven and pass it to their kids. They may not appear so at receptions, but they are.

This! They put on a chill front

I hear you and I am sure there are some high octane parents! Who selected the school because it's where THEY would want to be. But the parents I know are genuinely chill! Their DDs are not. Just born that way. And their parents are supporting their kids goals I guess...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It can't all be done. That's the point! These schools are about learning to handle pressure. Putting the most effort and the most efficient effort into whatever will be weighted most important. It's operating on the thinnest edge. Don't have what it takes to compete at this elite level? Can't handle it?That's fine. This is a weeding-out process. There are plenty of other paths.

If only those sorts of people are welcome at those schools, where is the space for differences? For different ways of thinking and doing and being? What an anemic version of diversity. What a bland intellectual landscape. How boring to have a school full of the same kinds of people.

Would you also say that a place like MIT has a “bland intellectual landscape” just because they mostly admit highly gifted math and science types? I cannot agree with you. Society needs places that appreciate and train highly capable achievers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all those deciding this week, I am not one of the previous posters but reading this forum for years and knowing kids at almost all of these high schools and having kids at one of them, the CW seems to be as follows:

Top pressure cookers -ncs, sidwell - ncs with an extra dose of grade deflation.

Next down - gds - maybe Potomac not sure and holton and st Albans

Next - maret - their parents seem to think they have thread the needle the best on this. Hard to know

Next - ssas, Burke, field, bullis

Surely I am missing many.

The stress complaints have persisted for years but seem to have heightened in the last few years as college admissions has gotten harder and according to some note that the grade deflating schools make it harder.

No judgement here but if you pick a pressure cooker don’t assume your kid will be that one who it doesn’t matter for. Whether at top of class or not, it seems to impact most.

GDS tells parents and students applying for 9th grade to expects 3-4 hours of homework a night. This is for the better students. Other students will take more time and get lower grades. GDS is marketing itself as the same as Sidwell and NCS. It is in the top group in terms of pressure cookers. I heard Potomac maybe looking at ways to lower the pressure but some parents will not like this.

What is SSAS?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As many people have noted, there isn't one cause of high stress in students; there are many. This includes parents forcing their kids into schools not based on the fit, but on the fantasy that this school will be a pipeline to the Ivies. The reality is that schools like NCS exist for a very particular type of student, one that is ambitious, self-motiviated resilient, and invested in learning. Most teenagers aren't like this at all, but there are some who are. The school has had a reputation for its rigor for many decades, and this attracts many parents. However, once their kids are admitted and experience the degree of work, these same parents then complain that the school is too stressful for their children. Instead of moving their kid to another school, they expect the school to change for them. But it's that very rigor their child is struggling with that drew them to the school in the first place. Then, there are the parents who tell their kids that anything less than an A is unacceptable. I agree with people that schools such as NCS should revisit the mandatory sports requirement, especially for juniors and senior years. This would open up more time for these students.

I don't have a girl so no first-hand experience with NCS...but what qualifies it as rigorous other than I guess the amount of homework? NCS does not produce an inordinate number of NMSF students compared to the other privates...and nothing compared to the public magnets as a %age of the class. I don't see any NCS kids even entering something like Regeneron, and certainly not winning. Maybe they are entering and winning National History Day or other similar national liberal arts competitions.

To me rigorous would be something like...the school mandates that all students will start with Honors Precalc in 9th grade, so you better have been on that track already or you need to do tons of self-learning to get with the program since everyone will have to take Calc BC in 10th, etc. Or all students will produce a junior thesis which will be original work of some kind. Is that how NCS operates?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strongest students I know, seemingly least stressed, are kids with significant sports time commitments. They seem to prioritize their time to get it all done and still get enough sleep. I think lack of sleep is a huge part of the stress kids are experiencing.

No the kid with a sport get less sleep and no free time for anything.

Disagree. My athletes prioritized sleep. They didn’t do a ton of social things- but their sport is very social and they also did school activities.

Is your kid’s social sport a high school sport? Club sport?

As much as my teen would like to prioritize sleep there is not enough hours in the day. But he loves his sport(s) so not much you can do about it. 2 sport elite athlete.

6am wake up
8-3pm school (can usually squeeze in 1 hour of homework during school and on block schedule)
3:30-5:30 high school sport practice or game
5:30-6 driving to next location or home to change/snack if time permits before next event
6-6:30 en route to next event
6:30-8pm Club team practice twice a week, performance training once a week, skills training once a week. (Usually nothing Friday nights after high school team practice or game.
8-8:30 en route home
8:30-9:30 dinner and chill/shower
9:30-10:30/11 homework
Bed by 11-11:30

Average sleep 6.5-7 hours.

Why even do the sports? Chances they continue in adulthood is slim. Just stop the madness. You’re choosing to live a life like this.

PP- having a kid participate in sports, in my opinion, keeps them focused and out of trouble, and their friends from the sport are all in the same circumstance. They are all pretty high achievers, both in sports and academics. There is really no negative, from my perspective. I am hoping my current Senior keeps this sport up as club throughout college because it has been such a huge part of life. It has helped with prioritizing, staying healthy and controlling stress.

As for the schedule above, the only question I have is why up so early, unless the commute is super long. My kids have also become pretty efficient at getting up, eating and getting out the door in 20-30 mins (can also include shower). Sleep really is a priority, and super important, I think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why even do the sports? Chances they continue in adulthood is slim. Just stop the madness. You’re choosing to live a life like this.

The student-athletes at my undergrad were, generally speaking, the best at time management and maintaining academic discipline.

[Anonymous]

High schools are stressful. It is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:High schools are stressful. It is what it is.

My high school years were so fun!