SO hired someone other than me

[Anonymous]

You need to read the writing on the wall here. He's not going to marry you and he's not going to hire you. He's not going to solve your financial or career problems for you. It's on you to solve those problems. You can make him support his ONE child with you, and you might be able to make him do his share of the parenting. But that's about all you can make him do.

Your situation is not good. You need to focus entirely on getting a better job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want a job go out and get a job that has nothing to do with him. What if you two break up and you're working for him? Then you'd lose your job.

I was wondering if that was why he didn’t hire her. It’s been 7 years and a kid and they aren’t married. Maybe he doesn’t want to be tied to her.

[Anonymous]

Honey, you've got much bigger issues to worry about than him not hiring you. I just can't understand what's wrong with women like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honey, you've got much bigger issues to worry about than him not hiring you. I just can't understand what's wrong with women like this.

This. In your spare time, I would consider going to counseling to figure out why you are having a failure to launch. Working for your boyfriend’s company sounds like a terrible idea. Do you have a degree? What kind of experience do you have? Maybe people on this board can give you some ideas in jobs you might be able to apply for.

[Anonymous]

OP was a single mom with two kids when she hooked up with him. They have a kid together (probably unplanned), but he does not want to get married.

OP with 3 kids is financial-dependent on him. He does not want to hire her to avoid creating problems which lead to a breakup and child support payments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m pretty angry about this situation and have tried to let it go, but I just can’t and it’s eating me up. DCUM, am I overreacting about this?

My partner is a ceo of a small(ish) company. We have been together 7 years and have one child together (I have two others from previous marriage).

I work very part time but definitely don’t earn much. He is for sure the breadwinner. I haven’t actively been looking for a full time job however my financial situation is very unstable as we aren’t married so I’m not sure what would happen if we are no longer together.

Originally (years ago) he told me he couldn’t hire me to work at his company because I’m responsible for getting the kids to school pick them up and take them to activities.

Fast forward to 2 months ago, when he hired three new full time employees out of the blue. I had no idea he was hiring (or I would have applied). One of the employees he brought on was more of a higher level manager but another one he told me was a marketing associate. I asked him why he hadn’t told me about the job and he said I needed a marketing course. Turns out all she’s doing now is administrative work and I could definitely have done that. My thought is if I’m capable of doing the work, why would he hire a random person over me, when he knows I need all the benefits and security for the future?

Basically I’m angry because he chose someone other than me when he knows I have no real job security or retirement savings. He hasn’t included me in discussions of planning for the future so I’m very clueless as to what will happen.

Is that mean and unkind of him or am I way off base here?

You are off base. It would have been a nepotism hire anyhow. If you want a job, go get one. Anyone with half a brain is in high demand right now.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP that he shouldn't hire you, but he really needs to do the schlepping on a regular basis so that you can get a job.

[Anonymous]

What is wrong with you? He absolutely should NOT have hired you. It could potentially ruin his reputation and cause all sorts of problems with his employees. You need to get help, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m pretty angry about this situation and have tried to let it go, but I just can’t and it’s eating me up. DCUM, am I overreacting about this?

My partner is a ceo of a small(ish) company. We have been together 7 years and have one child together (I have two others from previous marriage).

I work very part time but definitely don’t earn much. He is for sure the breadwinner. I haven’t actively been looking for a full time job however my financial situation is very unstable as we aren’t married so I’m not sure what would happen if we are no longer together.

Originally (years ago) he told me he couldn’t hire me to work at his company because I’m responsible for getting the kids to school pick them up and take them to activities.

Fast forward to 2 months ago, when he hired three new full time employees out of the blue. I had no idea he was hiring (or I would have applied). One of the employees he brought on was more of a higher level manager but another one he told me was a marketing associate. I asked him why he hadn’t told me about the job and he said I needed a marketing course. Turns out all she’s doing now is administrative work and I could definitely have done that. My thought is if I’m capable of doing the work, why would he hire a random person over me, when he knows I need all the benefits and security for the future?

Basically I’m angry because he chose someone other than me when he knows I have no real job security or retirement savings. He hasn’t included me in discussions of planning for the future so I’m very clueless as to what will happen.

Is that mean and unkind of him or am I way off base here?

1. People should never, ever hire family. He did the right thing, it's not remotely mean or unkind of him, and you are indeed way off base.
2. How are you a mother of three and yet so passive about your own life? It's so upsetting that so many women, out of an abundance of care about their future and their potential children, delay having kids until it's too late, and then clueless women with no self respect like you just pop them out and hope one of your baby daddies will marry your or throw you a job. What a tragedy.

[Anonymous]

Why aren't you married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m pretty angry about this situation and have tried to let it go, but I just can’t and it’s eating me up. DCUM, am I overreacting about this?

My partner is a ceo of a small(ish) company. We have been together 7 years and have one child together (I have two others from previous marriage).

I work very part time but definitely don’t earn much. He is for sure the breadwinner. I haven’t actively been looking for a full time job however my financial situation is very unstable as we aren’t married so I’m not sure what would happen if we are no longer together.

Originally (years ago) he told me he couldn’t hire me to work at his company because I’m responsible for getting the kids to school pick them up and take them to activities.

Fast forward to 2 months ago, when he hired three new full time employees out of the blue. I had no idea he was hiring (or I would have applied). One of the employees he brought on was more of a higher level manager but another one he told me was a marketing associate. I asked him why he hadn’t told me about the job and he said I needed a marketing course. Turns out all she’s doing now is administrative work and I could definitely have done that. My thought is if I’m capable of doing the work, why would he hire a random person over me, when he knows I need all the benefits and security for the future?

Basically I’m angry because he chose someone other than me when he knows I have no real job security or retirement savings. He hasn’t included me in discussions of planning for the future so I’m very clueless as to what will happen.

Is that mean and unkind of him or am I way off base here?

Why don't you talk to him about this, since you're supposed to be partners?
That's a rhetorical question because we know why you haven't talked to him about it. You know that he's going to dither or dismiss and you won't be any further ahead but you'll have created awkwardness.

[Anonymous]

Nepotism is a bad look.

[Anonymous]

Omg if course he didnt hire you. A ceo cant hire the person hers in a relationship in. Thats total nepotism and against so many HR rules and he can get sued by another employee.

[Anonymous]

This is hilarious. OP you are 9 kinds of crazy, I love it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop having kids with men who won’t marry you.

This