SO hired someone other than me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, it's wild that people here keep posting about buying cows (this ain't the 50s) and how he's not going to marry OP. Who said either of them want to be married. She didn't ask for anyone's opinion about their romantic relationship or marriage. Y'all suck. Just because that's what you wanted in life doesn't mean it suits everyone. She posted about a JOB not a RING. Reading is fundamental.

No one said anything about buying cows. They’re saying she made an incredibly stupid decision in having a child with and making herself 100% financially dependent on a man who doesn’t want to marry her. She clearly is looking for security, not a JOB. Because if she wanted a JOB, she’d be looking for one before she accidentally found out through the grapevine that her baby daddy’s company was hiring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the Op here and I appreciate the feedback, which is 100% team partner. It stings that he KNOWS that I am in need of a job and that he’d rather give it to someone else then offer it to me…..he has hired family and friends in the past, in fact , one person he newly hired is a family member of an employee. It makes me feel like he doesn’t care what happens to me down the road. I have to say that if the situation was reversed I would give him the job. It sucks and it’s a terrible feeling.

Why can’t you get a job the normal way?

The situation will never be reversed because you don’t have what it takes to be in that position.

Rude over reaction. Get support from other dad. Get married!

No. Get herself a JOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you're hurt because you're getting your head around the truth of your situation. He's not your husband and he won't ever be. You're not "partners" just like married. You're more like co-parents that have sex. He's not taking responsibility for your well-being or helping you solve your financial problems. You're not business partners and you won't ever be.

You need to focus on providing for your kids and stop thinking a man is going to fix this for you. Put the kids in after-school care and get a better job.

I love how everyone thinks they knows OPs situation. How do you know they won’t get married?

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[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't agree most of the people here. I would've been furious. He knows your needs better than anyone. Even if it was a short-term situation until you found something else he should've hired you.

Nope. Hi,OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, it's wild that people here keep posting about buying cows (this ain't the 50s) and how he's not going to marry OP. Who said either of them want to be married. She didn't ask for anyone's opinion about their romantic relationship or marriage. Y'all suck. Just because that's what you wanted in life doesn't mean it suits everyone. She posted about a JOB not a RING. Reading is fundamental.

You’re either OP or you’re just as dim and childish as she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is wrong with you? He absolutely should NOT have hired you. It could potentially ruin his reputation and cause all sorts of problems with his employees. You need to get help, OP.

How so? Also, your response was really dramatic for no reason.

If you don’t stop sock puppeting, your thread is going to get removed — which is probably for the best anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is wrong with you? He absolutely should NOT have hired you. It could potentially ruin his reputation and cause all sorts of problems with his employees. You need to get help, OP.

How so? Also, your response was really dramatic for no reason.

+1

DP here. It seems someone is projecting onto OP. OP might be a better worker than all y'all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^question still stands though - OP, have you talked to him about your financial concerns etc… and if not, what’s holding you back?

Op here. Yes, I have talked to him. He tells me I’m comfortable and he pays all the bills. He won’t tell me what will happen if something happens to him however.

Ok so he responds with silence when you express concern about if something were to happen to him. So do you want security, do you want to be married, do you want to come up with a plan together? If you do and he isn’t on the same page then your options are to remain in this pseudo limbo or to do something about it. I get that you are hurt by his not hiring you but I don’t think that’s the root issue here. THIS is the root issue and it is getting projected onto this job situation because it triggers in you this knowing or suspicion that you are not secure in this relationship.

I am speculating here on some points but if it’s on point then I have to ask, what are you thinking and why have you gotten yourself into this situation? Did you think he would eventually propose?

We are engaged. We’ve been engaged for awhile now. No immediate plans to get married. I know I’ll have to sign a pre nuptial as he’s told me already.

Then you are not really engaged. But you know that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never hire a family member. Definitely not a romantic partner, which will cause all sorts of problems. Nepotism is bad enough without everything thinking you got the job because you're boning the CEO. Have fun telling your partner that their job performance is subpar. A job isn't charity; if you are worried about your financial future, work that out with him.

You sound like a disaster.

And if you are barely employed for all this time, that's not his problem or fault, and it makes sense he'd want to hire someomw who might actually be bringing someone to the table.

This has to be a troll!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg if course he didnt hire you. A ceo cant hire the person hers in a relationship in. Thats total nepotism and against so many HR rules and he can get sued by another employee.

+1 it's clear OP has never had any kind of real job. This is obvious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m pretty angry about this situation and have tried to let it go, but I just can’t and it’s eating me up. DCUM, am I overreacting about this?

My partner is a ceo of a small(ish) company. We have been together 7 years and have one child together (I have two others from previous marriage).

I work very part time but definitely don’t earn much. He is for sure the breadwinner. I haven’t actively been looking for a full time job however my financial situation is very unstable as we aren’t married so I’m not sure what would happen if we are no longer together.

Originally (years ago) he told me he couldn’t hire me to work at his company because I’m responsible for getting the kids to school pick them up and take them to activities.

Fast forward to 2 months ago, when he hired three new full time employees out of the blue. I had no idea he was hiring (or I would have applied). One of the employees he brought on was more of a higher level manager but another one he told me was a marketing associate. I asked him why he hadn’t told me about the job and he said I needed a marketing course. Turns out all she’s doing now is administrative work and I could definitely have done that. My thought is if I’m capable of doing the work, why would he hire a random person over me, when he knows I need all the benefits and security for the future?

Basically I’m angry because he chose someone other than me when he knows I have no real job security or retirement savings. He hasn’t included me in discussions of planning for the future so I’m very clueless as to what will happen.

Is that mean and unkind of him or am I way off base here?

The bolded really stands out.

OP, you should have discussed your job and financial stability back when he told you (and you agreed?) to take a back seat and take care of the kids. You cannot fix the past and it is a bad idea to get a job at his company. That is not your biggest issue. Being able to work is. Are you able to look for a full time job elsewhere now, or are you still tied up because of taking care of kids? Figure out that first.

Read it carefully. OP is not saying she couldn't have a FT job. Just that she couldn't work for HIS company, even at that earlier time. But why didn't she already have some other job? I don't see him telling her to scale back or quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was a single mom with two kids when she hooked up with him. They have a kid together (probably unplanned), but he does not want to get married.

OP with 3 kids is financial-dependent on him. He does not want to hire her to avoid creating problems which lead to a breakup and child support payments.

A lot of assumptions being made here. A lot.

. Op here. I have 2 other kids. Their dad pays child support.

Didn’t you post a while back about how you were upset that your partner does not support your older kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was a single mom with two kids when she hooked up with him. They have a kid together (probably unplanned), but he does not want to get married.

OP with 3 kids is financial-dependent on him. He does not want to hire her to avoid creating problems which lead to a breakup and child support payments.

A lot of assumptions being made here. A lot.

. Op here. I have 2 other kids. Their dad pays child support.

Didn’t you post a while back about how you were upset that your partner does not support your older kids?

No. My partner is not responsible for my other kids