Etiquettes- guests coming empty handed to dinner is this okay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did they ask? I always ask and if the host says they don’t want me to bring anything I don’t. As a host, I hate when people bring a dessert or wine that clashes with the meal I’veplanned but I feel honorbound to serve nonetheless. (I don’t get annoyed at people who do this, to be clear, I’m just frustrated by the situation/silly social conventions that messed up my plans.)

If someone brings wine that doesn't fit with my menu, I don't feel obligated to serve it. Nothing wrong with saving it for another occasion. Dessert, who cares? The more, the merrier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course you should always brings something, even if just a small gesture. Who can't stop at a bakery to pick up a small dessert or bring a small bouquet? I was not taught this by my parents--I figured it out.

Haha, you are a good one! I have taken candles, tea, wine, and flowers based on my budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. If they'd brought you a cheap bottle of wine, would you invite them again? If you want them to contribute something, you should speak up. If they can't cook, they may not know what to help with so they don't ask.

Not making a big deal but just surprised. Cheap or expensive doesn't matter but it is weird to not show any appreciation in my opinion. But to each to their own. None of them asked what they can bring so it's weird to say bring xyz??

Imo, if you are inviting people for a meal, it’s polite for them to ask what they can bring. It is not olive for you to ask them to bring part of the meal. I find this very very odd when hosts do this. They should bring a hostess gift, not part of the meal. Exceptions for things with kids involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I expect my guests to bring conversation and good humor, not stuff. My house is cluttered enough already, and I don't have a lot of space in my fridge or pantry. Exception made for one friend who is a master baker - I will gladly eat her famous mango mousse cake anytime she happens to make one!

Me too. Please no hostess gift...no wine bottle. Its fine. I invited you because I wanted to get together. I know you could spend 15 minutes and 15 bucks on wine but really its fine. Honestly I would rather not have to run out for your bottle of wine when you invite us back. If I offer leftovers, feel free to take them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did they ask? I always ask and if the host says they don’t want me to bring anything I don’t. As a host, I hate when people bring a dessert or wine that clashes with the meal I’veplanned but I feel honorbound to serve nonetheless. (I don’t get annoyed at people who do this, to be clear, I’m just frustrated by the situation/silly social conventions that messed up my plans.)

If someone brings wine that doesn't fit with my menu, I don't feel obligated to serve it. Nothing wrong with saving it for another occasion. Dessert, who cares? The more, the merrier.

100% agree with you! It is plain rude to just come empty-handed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you offer the leftovers or did they ask for it.

They asked for it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s very rude to not take something, like a bottle of wine or a plant, or chocolate…some people on here seem to have been raised by wolves!

+1. That’s the way I was trained as well that you don’t go empty handed and so I would have been surprised. It’s good to hear from others here that is not a standard and so that is a consideration for me in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have different expectations of others when they are my guests and different expectation of myself as a guest.

I always bring gifts - flowers, chocolates, wine. when I am a guest.

I don't expect gifts when others come to my house.

I almost never take back leftovers when I go to other peoples home. I always offer leftovers (packed in tupperware and already in plastic bags to carry home) to my guests because I tend to cook in large quantities for any event.

If you like the people you invited and had a good time, don't get hung up on these little things.

I like your philosophy. I follow something similar but to me, manners matter don't show up to my house empty-handed when I made a 5 hrs long meal and had an open bar.
Next time I would rather meet these folks outside vs having them over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you offer the leftovers or did they ask for it.

They asked for it

Hahaha, I don’t care at all about hostess gifts or not but *this* I find rude.

[Anonymous]

You always bring at least a bottle of wine.

And asking for leftovers??? What?

Totally weird and rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very rude to not take something, like a bottle of wine or a plant, or chocolate…some people on here seem to have been raised by wolves!

+1. That’s the way I was trained as well that you don’t go empty handed and so I would have been surprised. It’s good to hear from others here that is not a standard and so that is a consideration for me in the future.

I host often and once in a while surprised by these behaviors as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You always bring at least a bottle of wine.

And asking for leftovers??? What?

Totally weird and rude.

I didn't notice it as I tend to be the more generous type but my partner did as he did all the grocery shopping and was surprised no one cared to bring a bag of tea! ooh well, no big deal.

[Anonymous]

Unless it’s clear ahead of time that it’s a potluck, I don’t bring anything and I prefer that my guests not bring anything, either. Only exception would be if it’s around the holiday Ms, then I’ll bring a bottle of something as a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless it’s clear ahead of time that it’s a potluck, I don’t bring anything and I prefer that my guests not bring anything, either. Only exception would be if it’s around the holiday Ms, then I’ll bring a bottle of something as a gift.

Perhaps they also think like this. I don't so potlucks ever though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you offer the leftovers or did they ask for it.

They asked for it

Hahaha, I don’t care at all about hostess gifts or not but *this* I find rude.

Exactly. The hostess gift is not even a blip but asking for leftovers is beyond rude.