Etiquettes- guests coming empty handed to dinner is this okay?

[Anonymous]

Curious to know what you all think. Last week, I invited a friend for lunch and another for dinner and made a long elaborate meal. They both came empty-handed and took leftovers home.

I didn't think of this much but my partner was amazed that both came empty-handed. Of course, next time, I will not be rushing to have them over, but I am seeing people lacking manners. I cant help but feel weird about it.

Have you had this happen to you?

[Anonymous]

Not bringing something is not bad manners at all. If you wanted them to bring something, you should have asked.

But not bringing something and then leaving with leftovers is very weird.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. If they'd brought you a cheap bottle of wine, would you invite them again? If you want them to contribute something, you should speak up. If they can't cook, they may not know what to help with so they don't ask.

[Anonymous]

Did you offer the leftovers or did they ask for it.

[Anonymous]

I expect my guests to bring conversation and good humor, not stuff. My house is cluttered enough already, and I don't have a lot of space in my fridge or pantry. Exception made for one friend who is a master baker - I will gladly eat her famous mango mousse cake anytime she happens to make one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you offer the leftovers or did they ask for it.

? +1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not bringing something is not bad manners at all. If you wanted them to bring something, you should have asked.

But not bringing something and then leaving with leftovers is very weird.

OP here- I guess I grew up in a family where we were told never to go empty-handed when someone is making you food. So I find it weird when people show up empty-handed!

[Anonymous]

Please have some grace. I was never taught this by my lanterns growing up. My mother is still incredibly rude and I’ll mannered. Just as people think it’s ok for family to throw showers, they also think it’s perfectly fine to show up with nothing when invited. They only way they can learn is by being taught and observing.

[Anonymous]

It’s very rude to not take something, like a bottle of wine or a plant, or chocolate…some people on here seem to have been raised by wolves!

[Anonymous]

I have different expectations of others when they are my guests and different expectation of myself as a guest.

I always bring gifts - flowers, chocolates, wine. when I am a guest.

I don't expect gifts when others come to my house.

I almost never take back leftovers when I go to other peoples home. I always offer leftovers (packed in tupperware and already in plastic bags to carry home) to my guests because I tend to cook in large quantities for any event.

If you like the people you invited and had a good time, don't get hung up on these little things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you offer the leftovers or did they ask for it.

? +1

I am wondering about this too, but willing to bet OP insisted.

[Anonymous]

Op, I don't think you should expect someone to bring something to you during lunch.
Dinner, they could but did you all normally bring something to their dinner get-together?

[Anonymous]

Did they ask? I always ask and if the host says they don’t want me to bring anything I don’t. As a host, I hate when people bring a dessert or wine that clashes with the meal I’veplanned but I feel honorbound to serve nonetheless. (I don’t get annoyed at people who do this, to be clear, I’m just frustrated by the situation/silly social conventions that messed up my plans.)

[Anonymous]

Of course you should always brings something, even if just a small gesture. Who can't stop at a bakery to pick up a small dessert or bring a small bouquet? I was not taught this by my parents--I figured it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. If they'd brought you a cheap bottle of wine, would you invite them again? If you want them to contribute something, you should speak up. If they can't cook, they may not know what to help with so they don't ask.

Not making a big deal but just surprised. Cheap or expensive doesn't matter but it is weird to not show any appreciation in my opinion. But to each to their own. None of them asked what they can bring so it's weird to say bring xyz??