I will never understand why nice couples with children get divorced out of nowhere

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I just don’t get this. Wouldn’t you rather tell people the truth rather than they think it was your fault or you just gave up on your marriage?

Who cares what they think?

Well they do clearly. I was responding to the posters who claim that they are vague about the reason for fear of being judged/blamed. If I know your husband cheated, then I blame him. If you say “we drifted apart” then I blame you both.

If you “blame” anybody without, you know, actual information, that’s being kinda stupid.

I don’t blame anyone and I wouldn’t expect anybody to share. In fact I assume that it’s just general incompatibility because I made it a rule for myself to assume the best unless shown otherwise.

But I think if I got divorced because DH cheated or whatever I would tell people. Not write a Facebook post about it or share it with acquaintances (because I’m also not into dumping my problems on others), but I wouldn’t be super careful with who I told either.

But I have never been in that situation so maybe I would be closed off about it.

[Anonymous]

If my DH cheated or had a midlife crisis and left, I would definitely want people to know that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my DH cheated or had a midlife crisis and left, I would definitely want people to know that.

Then they will think..."what drove him to cheat?" It makes you look bad.

Stupid to air your dirty laundry. Super immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my DH cheated or had a midlife crisis and left, I would definitely want people to know that.

Then they will think..."what drove him to cheat?" It makes you look bad.

Stupid to air your dirty laundry. Super immature.

Even more immature to cheat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my DH cheated or had a midlife crisis and left, I would definitely want people to know that.

Then they will think..."what drove him to cheat?" It makes you look bad.

Unfortunately this is true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my DH cheated or had a midlife crisis and left, I would definitely want people to know that.

Then they will think..."what drove him to cheat?" It makes you look bad.

Stupid to air your dirty laundry. Super immature.

Even more immature to cheat.

Super immature !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my DH cheated or had a midlife crisis and left, I would definitely want people to know that.

Then they will think..."what drove him to cheat?" It makes you look bad.

Stupid to air your dirty laundry. Super immature.

I’d prefer that to people thinking we “drifted apart,” didn’t take our vows seriously and blew up our kids lives for no good reason. THAT’s selfish and immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s not just leaving.

He’s cheating, but he doesn’t want to announce that to his best friend because he doesn’t want to be judged.

Once a sufficient amount of time has passed, he will introduce everyone to his new soulmate.

Yup, +1000. Happens all the time. Already has the other person waiting in the shadows. Give it a few months and "OMG, I found this amazing person after we split" and you will just shake your head. Happens all the time, everyone doing it thinks they are so clever.

[Anonymous]

Best friend going through "divorce out of nowhere" with kids, nice dh. Although they just didn't share what had been going on, how we were tracking spouse with his plans already in place to move on with new gf. From the outside, yep, it's shocking. You just don't know. Happened to me as a child: shocking, best family ever, no one saw it coming from the outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my DH cheated or had a midlife crisis and left, I would definitely want people to know that.

Then they will think..."what drove him to cheat?" It makes you look bad.

Stupid to air your dirty laundry. Super immature.

I’d prefer that to people thinking we “drifted apart,” didn’t take our vows seriously and blew up our kids lives for no good reason. THAT’s selfish and immature.

I think most people would prefer not being exposed to a cheater’s nasty non-monogamous genitals and being gaslit, lied to and scale goated.

It’s funny how cheaters detest honesty at all costs. What a bunch of mental gymnastics this one has!

Still wanting to control the image of sweet and innocent and not let everyone know what a lying, nasty slut you are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my DH cheated or had a midlife crisis and left, I would definitely want people to know that.

Then they will think..."what drove him to cheat?" It makes you look bad.

Stupid to air your dirty laundry. Super immature.

I’d prefer that to people thinking we “drifted apart,” didn’t take our vows seriously and blew up our kids lives for no good reason. THAT’s selfish and immature.

I think most people would prefer not being exposed to a cheater’s nasty non-monogamous genitals and being gaslit, lied to and scale goated.

It’s funny how cheaters detest honesty at all costs. What a bunch of mental gymnastics this one has!

Still wanting to control the image of sweet and innocent and not let everyone know what a lying, nasty slut you are

Sorry- this was the poster before you. We are in agreement

[Anonymous]

Best friend going through "divorce out of nowhere" with kids, nice dh. Although they just didn't share what had been going on, how we were tracking spouse with his plans already in place to move on with new gf. From the outside, yep, it's shocking. You just don't know. Happened to me as a child: shocking, best family ever, no one saw it coming from the outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Covid proved the wisdom of the phrase “absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

DW and I can’t wait for our toddler to get vaccinated so we can go back to our normal lives of business travel, daycare, days in the office, happy hours, etc.

Sleeping for a night or two in a hotel room in a king bed and ordering room service without any kid or spouse responsibilities is GLORIOUS. This is what my DW misses the most about pre-COVID life LOL

This is the truth. We were not meant to live together 24/7 for over a year. Trying to make it work, but dear God.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my DH cheated or had a midlife crisis and left, I would definitely want people to know that.

Then they will think..."what drove him to cheat?" It makes you look bad.

Stupid to air your dirty laundry. Super immature.

It’s super immature to think you can drive somebody to cheat. Maybe people will think that but who cares?

I guess if somebody does care that is totally understandable. It’s a terrible position to be in. But if a friend asked I’m pretty sure I’d say something.

[Anonymous]

Men can cheat and if they have money ignore. Women cheat. End of the world.

Guess what? Marriage is hard and long and boring for everyone. Don’t screw your kids up more than you already have. That’s marriage - don’t screw up the kids.

And that asshole you married is likely just a big of a dick as the next. It’s money, kids and maybe you like banging your spouse 25 years later. Otherwise, repeat with new meat. Don’t have a second set of kids, unless you are a moron.