I will never understand why nice couples with children get divorced out of nowhere

[Anonymous]

Just learned of another one today. No abuse, no adultery or addiction. Functioning involved parents to three kids. They didn't even see a therapist. We are early 40's and most people we know have kids in upper elementary and MS. The pace of divorce announcements seems to be ticking up.

WTAF?

[Anonymous]

People keep things private. It wasn't out of nowhere it was none of your business.

[Anonymous]

bc you have no idea what goes on in people's homes

[Anonymous]

How do you know there’s no abuse, adultery, or addiction?

[Anonymous]

OP, get real. You have no idea what their issues were, really, including if there was abuse or adultery or addiction or therapy. This could be your sister and she could tell you whatever she wants and you'll never know.

You sound self-centered and sheltered to not realize that a lot of marriages really suck for reasons that are absolutely none of your business.

[Anonymous]

Sex

As in, they’re not having it enough for one of the partners (probably the man).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know there’s no abuse, adultery, or addiction?

Exactly. I'm dealing with the addiction right now. It's not like I'm telling anyone about it. But he's becoming verbally abusive to our teen son. And my husband refuses therapy. There is only so much one spouse can do.....

[Anonymous]

"Nice couples" GTFO

[Anonymous]

You can't understand how 2 people forced to exist together 24/7 for 18 months would get divorced?

IMO celebrities are/were just the first wave of Covid divorces (and I've noticed an increase of at least 50% with 35 celebrities announcing a divorce in the last 12 months).

The regular people needed the world to get a 'little' back to normal before they could file but its coming.

[Anonymous]

Well, first you don’t know. Maybe there is abuse, cheating, substance abuse you don’t know about.

But when it’s just a run of the mill, not abusive but mediocre marriage....I’m kinda with you. Once you’ve married and had kids with someone.....what do you think you are going to find that overall makes your life better factoring in the complications of blended families etc? Unless you really just want to be single and alone, I think the divorces often don’t make sense.

[Anonymous]

I didn't tell anyone I was being physically abused. Don't assume you know everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know there’s no abuse, adultery, or addiction?

Because its the close friend of my husband and he confirmed it. He's basically just...leaving her.

[Anonymous]

"No abuse"? And you know that...how?

Remember how many THOUSANDS of patients were referred to Larry Nassar because he was a "great doctor"? Remember how beloved Bill Cosby was because he was "such a great comedian/actor/producer"?

Get a grip. Just because you're not privy to the reasons does not mean they're not valid ones. For all you know, one of the parties is gay and has decided not to live as a heterosexual any longer. You don't freaking know. MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Just because it is out of no where for YOU, does not mean it is out of nowhere for them.

Also, root cause of most relational issues is a lack of healthy emotional intimacy and vulnerability. Everything you listed are really symptoms of a lack of healthy emotional regulation (hence preventing intimacy) - addiction, adultery etc... there are many other ways this lack shows up in relationships.

[Anonymous]

One of very good set of friends is getting divorced. They were a lovely couple. People are shocked. Wife had an affair. But most people don’t know that.