Beach house extended family vacation- why do women spend 80% of their time in the kitchen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I guess I'm asking, what makes my SILs want to prepare every single meal from scratch- like homemade pancakes (flour, egg, etc), homemade pizzas, homemade salad dressings, homemade noodles. Dozens of pots/pans/ cooking utensils for every meal...

Why not just go the simple route? the kids and dads don't care if they eat cereal or carryout or PB&J sandwiches, so why do they overengineer every meal?

I work full-time in an office, so I WANT to be OUTSIDE with the kids as much as possible.
Basically, I want a real vacation. Not a new full-time kitchen job for a week.

I'm with you, OP! I love to cook, but not on vacation.

OK? No one is stopping either you or OP. No one has so much has asked OP to cook or anything. Like, why does it matter to you how other people like to spend their vacation time?

Why does it matter to you so much that you like to cook on a vacation that you are here posting so much? take your own advice and disappear from this thread! But, you can't, bcs there is something in OP's post that you think criticizes you, and you have recognized some behavior of yours that you see people find appalling, such as being a control freak who claims that OP should not care what people do on vacations, while you can't take the same advice and not care.

This is my second post. The only other thing I said was when someone told a poster to take a walk, and I said nope, it's more like you should. Feel free to verify with Jeff.

Whatever the right pp hopefully got the message. She was shelling out post after post, upper case letters that op and the rest are this and that.

I…don’t have anything to do with her. Anyway, do you get that OP literally posed the question to us “ladies” about why we spend time in the kitchen on vacation? And then when we actually answer the question—we like cooking, like introverting away from the group, like taking a break from the sun and sand—we get crap for it.

You do you. I will continue to enjoy wine and taking my time to do something I love.

There’s more than one person who enjoys cooking, but at least one nutter is irate in here that other people like to cook and don’t eat cereal for all their meals. Even on vacation.

So you’re like a dog with a bone because there’s someone on here who is like a dog with a bone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One pp off her rocker.
People are posting their opinion about what is a vacation to them, and she is... well, off the deep end, cause she is into the kitchen and we all better shut up.

I know. This is why I stay at resorts.

[Anonymous]

I’m with you, OP. I would much rather eat something simple and go to the pool, beach, hike, explore a new city, etc. than cook elaborate meals on vacation. Honestly, I feel a little left out because the women in our extended family love to cook and are bonding in the kitchen, talking ingredients and recipes poolside. I will chop vegetables or do whatever because I don’t want them to think I don’t contribute, but I hate it. It feels like an hour or two after we clean up one meal, we’re already in the kitchen prepping the next one. It’s just misery for me. I wish I could enjoy it more, or at least be able to chitchat about recipes like they do (I just zone out).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I guess I'm asking, what makes my SILs want to prepare every single meal from scratch- like homemade pancakes (flour, egg, etc), homemade pizzas, homemade salad dressings, homemade noodles. Dozens of pots/pans/ cooking utensils for every meal...

Why not just go the simple route? the kids and dads don't care if they eat cereal or carryout or PB&J sandwiches, so why do they overengineer every meal?

I work full-time in an office, so I WANT to be OUTSIDE with the kids as much as possible.
Basically, I want a real vacation. Not a new full-time kitchen job for a week.

I'm with you, OP! I love to cook, but not on vacation.

OK? No one is stopping either you or OP. No one has so much has asked OP to cook or anything. Like, why does it matter to you how other people like to spend their vacation time?

Why does it matter to you so much that you like to cook on a vacation that you are here posting so much? take your own advice and disappear from this thread! But, you can't, bcs there is something in OP's post that you think criticizes you, and you have recognized some behavior of yours that you see people find appalling, such as being a control freak who claims that OP should not care what people do on vacations, while you can't take the same advice and not care.

This is my second post. The only other thing I said was when someone told a poster to take a walk, and I said nope, it's more like you should. Feel free to verify with Jeff.

Whatever the right pp hopefully got the message. She was shelling out post after post, upper case letters that op and the rest are this and that.

I…don’t have anything to do with her. Anyway, do you get that OP literally posed the question to us “ladies” about why we spend time in the kitchen on vacation? And then when we actually answer the question—we like cooking, like introverting away from the group, like taking a break from the sun and sand—we get crap for it.

You do you. I will continue to enjoy wine and taking my time to do something I love.

There’s more than one person who enjoys cooking, but at least one nutter is irate in here that other people like to cook and don’t eat cereal for all their meals. Even on vacation.

So you’re like a dog with a bone because there’s someone on here who is like a dog with a bone?

Nah just passing thru laughing at the insanity from people who can’t cook. OP doesn’t even have to help but people
Are all worked up on her behalf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m with you, OP. I would much rather eat something simple and go to the pool, beach, hike, explore a new city, etc. than cook elaborate meals on vacation. Honestly, I feel a little left out because the women in our extended family love to cook and are bonding in the kitchen, talking ingredients and recipes poolside. I will chop vegetables or do whatever because I don’t want them to think I don’t contribute, but I hate it. It feels like an hour or two after we clean up one meal, we’re already in the kitchen prepping the next one. It’s just misery for me. I wish I could enjoy it more, or at least be able to chitchat about recipes like they do (I just zone out).

Is your husband incapable of chopping vegetables? I send mine in tomorrow help his mom and sister while I get the kids showered and in PJs and play a game with them. As long as each family contributes, what’s the issue?

[Anonymous]

God I am so glad my extended family doesn't do these beach house vacations anymore. It wasn't my choice to stop them . The spouses who married in stopped them eventually. But now I see just how much they suck and how unnecessary they are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m with you, OP. I would much rather eat something simple and go to the pool, beach, hike, explore a new city, etc. than cook elaborate meals on vacation. Honestly, I feel a little left out because the women in our extended family love to cook and are bonding in the kitchen, talking ingredients and recipes poolside. I will chop vegetables or do whatever because I don’t want them to think I don’t contribute, but I hate it. It feels like an hour or two after we clean up one meal, we’re already in the kitchen prepping the next one. It’s just misery for me. I wish I could enjoy it more, or at least be able to chitchat about recipes like they do (I just zone out).

Is your husband incapable of chopping vegetables? I send mine in tomorrow help his mom and sister while I get the kids showered and in PJs and play a game with them. As long as each family contributes, what’s the issue?

Of course DH is in the kitchen too. The issue for me is it’s too much. Lots of prep and cooking for every meal. We need quick breakfast, sandwiches, carry-out sometimes so we can enjoy the beach, pool, museums, whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m with you, OP. I would much rather eat something simple and go to the pool, beach, hike, explore a new city, etc. than cook elaborate meals on vacation. Honestly, I feel a little left out because the women in our extended family love to cook and are bonding in the kitchen, talking ingredients and recipes poolside. I will chop vegetables or do whatever because I don’t want them to think I don’t contribute, but I hate it. It feels like an hour or two after we clean up one meal, we’re already in the kitchen prepping the next one. It’s just misery for me. I wish I could enjoy it more, or at least be able to chitchat about recipes like they do (I just zone out).

Is your husband incapable of chopping vegetables? I send mine in tomorrow help his mom and sister while I get the kids showered and in PJs and play a game with them. As long as each family contributes, what’s the issue?

Of course DH is in the kitchen too. The issue for me is it’s too much. Lots of prep and cooking for every meal. We need quick breakfast, sandwiches, carry-out sometimes so we can enjoy the beach, pool, museums, whatever.

Than do that. You are in charge of you. Bring and make your own food. Set your own plans and pace for the day. What’s the issue?

[Anonymous]

I’ve only done on beach house family “vacation” - but yeah it sucks. Men in general are more than happy to let women do domestic work. Even though my SIL is a doctor who doesn’t appear to like cooking she gets stuck with it too. The way we managed it (unspoken but agreed upon) is that breakfast and lunch were on our own. There were I think 5 dinners. The first was pot luck with dishes the grandmothers brought prepares. Second night we went out. Third and fourth SIL and I alternated. Fifth we attempted to make our DH’s do it, but of course the grandmothers stepped in to rescue them. That ended up being a group effort with my DH grilling steaks (everything else by the women) and his even lazier brother doing nothing.

I love cooking and it’s my only hobby basically, but there is no way I would cook constantly on vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I guess I'm asking, what makes my SILs want to prepare every single meal from scratch- like homemade pancakes (flour, egg, etc), homemade pizzas, homemade salad dressings, homemade noodles. Dozens of pots/pans/ cooking utensils for every meal...

Why not just go the simple route? the kids and dads don't care if they eat cereal or carryout or PB&J sandwiches, so why do they overengineer every meal?

I work full-time in an office, so I WANT to be OUTSIDE with the kids as much as possible.
Basically, I want a real vacation. Not a new full-time kitchen job for a week.

I'm with you, OP! I love to cook, but not on vacation.

OK? No one is stopping either you or OP. No one has so much has asked OP to cook or anything. Like, why does it matter to you how other people like to spend their vacation time?

Why does it matter to you so much that you like to cook on a vacation that you are here posting so much? take your own advice and disappear from this thread! But, you can't, bcs there is something in OP's post that you think criticizes you, and you have recognized some behavior of yours that you see people find appalling, such as being a control freak who claims that OP should not care what people do on vacations, while you can't take the same advice and not care.

This is my second post. The only other thing I said was when someone told a poster to take a walk, and I said nope, it's more like you should. Feel free to verify with Jeff.

Whatever the right pp hopefully got the message. She was shelling out post after post, upper case letters that op and the rest are this and that.

I…don’t have anything to do with her. Anyway, do you get that OP literally posed the question to us “ladies” about why we spend time in the kitchen on vacation? And then when we actually answer the question—we like cooking, like introverting away from the group, like taking a break from the sun and sand—we get crap for it.

You do you. I will continue to enjoy wine and taking my time to do something I love.

There’s more than one person who enjoys cooking, but at least one nutter is irate in here that other people like to cook and don’t eat cereal for all their meals. Even on vacation.

So you’re like a dog with a bone because there’s someone on here who is like a dog with a bone?

Nah just passing thru laughing at the insanity from people who can’t cook. OP doesn’t even have to help but people
Are all worked up on her behalf.

Keep telling yourself that. You were up early yesterday with "how can you judge people who like different, kitchen is my sanctuary, I hate the beach.."

[Anonymous]

OP, 80 percent of their time, really? Those must be some great meals. I make good food on vacation, and there’s no way I’m in the kitchen for more than 1-1.5 hours on the days I’m really going for it. What an exaggeration..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most stressful night of any OBX trip is the night someone insists we have to go out to eat.

First, we have to corral everyone and get them showered and dressed.

Then we have to decide where we're going/what everyone wants to eat.

Then we climb into three or four cars and head out.

Parking is always a joy.

Inevitably, the first place we want to go has a 2-hour wait. So then we have to choose another place.

And don't get me started on how much it costs.

I would SO much rather throw some steaks on the grill, whizz up some margaritas and eat in my bathing suit overlooking the ocean.

Or you could get takeout…

Or a reservation!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most stressful night of any OBX trip is the night someone insists we have to go out to eat.

First, we have to corral everyone and get them showered and dressed.

Then we have to decide where we're going/what everyone wants to eat.

Then we climb into three or four cars and head out.

Parking is always a joy.

Inevitably, the first place we want to go has a 2-hour wait. So then we have to choose another place.

And don't get me started on how much it costs.

I would SO much rather throw some steaks on the grill, whizz up some margaritas and eat in my bathing suit overlooking the ocean.

Or you could get takeout…

Or a reservation!

You didn’t read the post about going to a restaurant is a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

It's nature, just like why boobs engorgement when a baby is birthed

[Anonymous]

Growing up, the party was in the kitchen. The women made jokes, laughed, drank, etc., while cooking and cleaning up together. The men played cards and watched the kids in the pool.

Now that me and my siblings kids are older, the three of us make elaborate meals together when I visit. Our brother is an amazing cook, and we all have our specialties. Eating holiday meals is just a fun after-effect of cooking together.

I assume this is part cultural, and also only fun for those with a creative flare in the kitchen.