Everything was great for 6 months and then family finds out and boom: he ends it. Advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the replies putting you down. You’ll be better off in the long run meeting someone who accepts the relationship you’re looking for (and whose family doesn’t interfere with a 40 yo man’s love life).

Accept she seeks out men with families like this. That is her problem.

No, I don't seek them out specifically. But if they pursue me, the mentality is familiar because it is similiar to the mentality I grew up with. I have had a few boyfriends with different cultural backgrounds but it is not like I sought them out. It just happened.

[Anonymous]

From one single mom to another, you need to get your stuff together and stop worrying about men. There are very few men who are cut out for the task of marrying a single mother and even fewer who are willing to help you maintain your fetish with cultural oppression. Focus on your kids and career, make some money, get a hobby, and stay away from the middle-aged childless guys.

[Anonymous]

Dear OP, you 100% dodged a bullet. This is a blessing in disguise. This type of reaction is a reflection of how he behaves when his families feedback differs with his actions. How exhausting this would be to be married to!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From one single mom to another, you need to get your stuff together and stop worrying about men. There are very few men who are cut out for the task of marrying a single mother and even fewer who are willing to help you maintain your fetish with cultural oppression. Focus on your kids and career, make some money, get a hobby, and stay away from the middle-aged childless guys.

I appreciate the advice. I am not interested in remarriage unless I am with someone a really long time and my kids are out of the house. I only entertained this because he said he was no longer interested in getting married and having kids and we discussed it being a long-term boyfriend/girlfriend situation (which is irrelevant to his cultural background). If someone really is middle aged and does not want to get married and have kids and is honest about that, I don't see the problem dating them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP, you 100% dodged a bullet. This is a blessing in disguise. This type of reaction is a reflection of how he behaves when his families feedback differs with his actions. How exhausting this would be to be married to!

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From one single mom to another, you need to get your stuff together and stop worrying about men. There are very few men who are cut out for the task of marrying a single mother and even fewer who are willing to help you maintain your fetish with cultural oppression. Focus on your kids and career, make some money, get a hobby, and stay away from the middle-aged childless guys.

I appreciate the advice. I am not interested in remarriage unless I am with someone a really long time and my kids are out of the house. I only entertained this because he said he was no longer interested in getting married and having kids and we discussed it being a long-term boyfriend/girlfriend situation (which is irrelevant to his cultural background). If someone really is middle aged and does not want to get married and have kids and is honest about that, I don't see the problem dating them.

The bolded is never irrelevant.

Rule: Men from non-western cultures in their 40s want children or will want children in the very near future. Period. If they say otherwise, they are lying.
There might be one or two exceptions in the entire world, but just get ready to be disappointed/lied if you are insist to find the unicorn. Your chances of finding the exception is like your chances of winning the lottery.

It is fine that you like men from these cultures. But don't be naive. Find one who already has children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From one single mom to another, you need to get your stuff together and stop worrying about men. There are very few men who are cut out for the task of marrying a single mother and even fewer who are willing to help you maintain your fetish with cultural oppression. Focus on your kids and career, make some money, get a hobby, and stay away from the middle-aged childless guys.

I appreciate the advice. I am not interested in remarriage unless I am with someone a really long time and my kids are out of the house. I only entertained this because he said he was no longer interested in getting married and having kids and we discussed it being a long-term boyfriend/girlfriend situation (which is irrelevant to his cultural background). If someone really is middle aged and does not want to get married and have kids and is honest about that, I don't see the problem dating them.

The bolded is never irrelevant.

Rule: Men from non-western cultures in their 40s want children or will want children in the very near future. Period. If they say otherwise, they are lying.
There might be one or two exceptions in the entire world, but just get ready to be disappointed/lied if you are insist to find the unicorn. Your chances of finding the exception is like your chances of winning the lottery.

It is fine that you like men from these cultures. But don't be naive. Find one who already has children.

You are right. I know this. I was hesitant for this reason. He convinced me otherwise. I thought I might have found the unicorn. Lesson learned. Thank you for the much-needed reminder.

[Anonymous]

I thought you were dropping this thread, I diagnose you with narcissism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought you were dropping this thread, I diagnose you with narcissism.

People kept posting.

[Anonymous]

How are you doing OP? Have you heard from him this week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought you were dropping this thread, I diagnose you with narcissism.

+ 1

What is up with OP? She has a personality disorder for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How are you doing OP? Have you heard from him this week?

I’m fine. And yes. But it does not matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are you doing OP? Have you heard from him this week?

I’m fine. And yes. But it does not matter.

What’s he saying? And are you responding to him?

[Anonymous]

Are you feeling any better about the situation now that a couple of weeks have passed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you feeling any better about the situation now that a couple of weeks have passed?

OP here. I don't know how to respond to this. I was not horribly upset when I posted. I was disappointed. We have been in contact. I do not know what is going to happen. This is the reason I posted. I did not think it was really over because he is confused (he does not want it to be over...but he has trouble--obviously--with making his own decisions--which at his age, he should be able to do more easily)...and that is why I asked if I dodged a bullet in the very first post (meaning should I forget this now and not try again if the opportunity presents itself). I am not sure what is going to happen (if it will be a no contact thing later or if we will see each other again).