Dating advice for divorced dad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP, I am a 45 year old big law partner, also divorced supporting a SAHM with 2 middle school age kids. Exact same situation, make very good money, obviously not as much to go around as before but dropping a few thousand on a fancy weekend away for a woman I am interest in is meaningless money.

These responses are complete nonsense and likely written by bitter first wives who want to see you lonely and punished. Ignore them.

You will have absolutely zero problems finding dates. Actually, it will be exhausting doing on line dating because you will have so many women match with you. Many of them will be much younger. I agree with one PP, you need to be fair to them that you are not looking for a second wife and kids because many women in their 30s are. Even if they tell you they aren't sure.

Yes, wear a condom. Of course.

Tinder is fine for hookups. Bumble is good too. Again, you will be surprised at how many younger, attractive women you will match with. If you are like some of my divorced friends, you may go through a promiscuous phase because it's so abundant, like far easier than when you were younger. But you will ultimately see that easy sex with random women creates more headache than it's worth. I can give you some funny and not so funny stories.

Single mom's are my preferred partners. They understand that when I have the kids, I am not available and I respect that they have the same situation.

Good luck, it's a crazy world out there but lots of great women looking for real connections.

Woman here. The huge factor here is that PP makes very good money. Divorced men making up to 150k or so reading this will not have the same experience. It is pretty rare to encounter a big law firm partner in his forties on dating apps.

Nope. I am the PP who said he does not make as much as the BigLaw partner. In fact I make about $160k. And what the BigLaw partner said is exactly my experience: zero problem finding dates, lots of women matching with me, including much younger ones. It's a lot of work managing all the conversations. I could easily have a date every night if I wanted to. Like him I prefer the single moms because they understand I'm not available when I have the kids.

Well I am a woman and I can tell you I could also easily find a date for every night if I was still online. (I’m dating someone now but have done a lot of online dating). It’s not all one sided.

Yes. Another woman here. Guys don’t realize we are swimming in options at pretty much any age.

Yeah. I’m 45 and can fall on a dick any day I want to. Great profile and in 24 hours of reactivating it I have 1200 likes- that’s actually the problem- it’s be easier to have my assistant sort the wheat from the chaff than to spend the time doing it myself. I’d rather have 5 legit likes from men with jobs, few felonies, and who earn similar to me (mid 6 ). . I could fill every meal with some D if I wanted, but I don’t.

I’ve been OLD for a while now but I am not looking for long term- just a seasonal or spending on sport (ski, or golf). I’m a high earner and love being a single woman. I’d date cha.

Yes we know: any non-fat woman has a lifetime of options.
The point is that as men get older our options go UP while yours go DOWN.
These curves (in most cases) eventually cross to where our options exceed yours (all depends on how hot/rich/fit you are).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP, I am a 45 year old big law partner, also divorced supporting a SAHM with 2 middle school age kids. Exact same situation, make very good money, obviously not as much to go around as before but dropping a few thousand on a fancy weekend away for a woman I am interest in is meaningless money.

These responses are complete nonsense and likely written by bitter first wives who want to see you lonely and punished. Ignore them.

You will have absolutely zero problems finding dates. Actually, it will be exhausting doing on line dating because you will have so many women match with you. Many of them will be much younger. I agree with one PP, you need to be fair to them that you are not looking for a second wife and kids because many women in their 30s are. Even if they tell you they aren't sure.

Yes, wear a condom. Of course.

Tinder is fine for hookups. Bumble is good too. Again, you will be surprised at how many younger, attractive women you will match with. If you are like some of my divorced friends, you may go through a promiscuous phase because it's so abundant, like far easier than when you were younger. But you will ultimately see that easy sex with random women creates more headache than it's worth. I can give you some funny and not so funny stories.

Single mom's are my preferred partners. They understand that when I have the kids, I am not available and I respect that they have the same situation.

Good luck, it's a crazy world out there but lots of great women looking for real connections.

Woman here. The huge factor here is that PP makes very good money. Divorced men making up to 150k or so reading this will not have the same experience. It is pretty rare to encounter a big law firm partner in his forties on dating apps.

Nope. I am the PP who said he does not make as much as the BigLaw partner. In fact I make about $160k. And what the BigLaw partner said is exactly my experience: zero problem finding dates, lots of women matching with me, including much younger ones. It's a lot of work managing all the conversations. I could easily have a date every night if I wanted to. Like him I prefer the single moms because they understand I'm not available when I have the kids.

Well I am a woman and I can tell you I could also easily find a date for every night if I was still online. (I’m dating someone now but have done a lot of online dating). It’s not all one sided.

Yes. Another woman here. Guys don’t realize we are swimming in options at pretty much any age.

Yeah. I’m 45 and can fall on a dick any day I want to. Great profile and in 24 hours of reactivating it I have 1200 likes- that’s actually the problem- it’s be easier to have my assistant sort the wheat from the chaff than to spend the time doing it myself. I’d rather have 5 legit likes from men with jobs, few felonies, and who earn similar to me (mid 6 ). . I could fill every meal with some D if I wanted, but I don’t.

I’ve been OLD for a while now but I am not looking for long term- just a seasonal or spending on sport (ski, or golf). I’m a high earner and love being a single woman. I’d date cha.

You sound lovely. Are you looking for an accessory or a relationship? Keep it klassy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I am a recently divorced 37 year old with 70% custody of my elementary aged kids. ExDH has a demanding, high-paying job and like you, defaulted to giving me more money and custody to keep the kids’ lives as close to what they are accustomed to as possible. At least for now. And what they are accustomed to is me working part-time from home and Dad working long hours and weekends. None of that has changed. If I had more time to myself, I would totally date you. Unfortunately that is where I have been screwed over. I love my kids to death but I barely have time for me, let alone someone else... and before anyone jumps down my throat, my exDH doesn’t want our kids anymore than every other weekend and one overnight a week.

Which isn’t good for the kids. He should be seeing him more.

PP here - well he already has a new GF (probably from an affair I was unaware of) and he's more concerned with spending time with her than with our sons. She is much younger with no children. Unfortunately, not an uncommon situation, so I've learned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a mid-40s divorced dad, and here's what I'd like: A woman who looks sexy AF in a tennis outfit. Twice a week, we'd play some competitive tennis, screw, and share a meal (or tennis, meal,screw, who cares ... or tennis, screw, meal, screw). That would be perfect. Haven't found it yet, though.

Can't imagine why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP, I am a 45 year old big law partner, also divorced supporting a SAHM with 2 middle school age kids. Exact same situation, make very good money, obviously not as much to go around as before but dropping a few thousand on a fancy weekend away for a woman I am interest in is meaningless money.

These responses are complete nonsense and likely written by bitter first wives who want to see you lonely and punished. Ignore them.

You will have absolutely zero problems finding dates. Actually, it will be exhausting doing on line dating because you will have so many women match with you. Many of them will be much younger. I agree with one PP, you need to be fair to them that you are not looking for a second wife and kids because many women in their 30s are. Even if they tell you they aren't sure.

Yes, wear a condom. Of course.

Tinder is fine for hookups. Bumble is good too. Again, you will be surprised at how many younger, attractive women you will match with. If you are like some of my divorced friends, you may go through a promiscuous phase because it's so abundant, like far easier than when you were younger. But you will ultimately see that easy sex with random women creates more headache than it's worth. I can give you some funny and not so funny stories.

Single mom's are my preferred partners. They understand that when I have the kids, I am not available and I respect that they have the same situation.

Good luck, it's a crazy world out there but lots of great women looking for real connections.

Woman here. The huge factor here is that PP makes very good money. Divorced men making up to 150k or so reading this will not have the same experience. It is pretty rare to encounter a big law firm partner in his forties on dating apps.

Nope. I am the PP who said he does not make as much as the BigLaw partner. In fact I make about $160k. And what the BigLaw partner said is exactly my experience: zero problem finding dates, lots of women matching with me, including much younger ones. It's a lot of work managing all the conversations. I could easily have a date every night if I wanted to. Like him I prefer the single moms because they understand I'm not available when I have the kids.

Well I am a woman and I can tell you I could also easily find a date for every night if I was still online. (I’m dating someone now but have done a lot of online dating). It’s not all one sided.

Yes. Another woman here. Guys don’t realize we are swimming in options at pretty much any age.

Yeah. I’m 45 and can fall on a dick any day I want to. Great profile and in 24 hours of reactivating it I have 1200 likes- that’s actually the problem- it’s be easier to have my assistant sort the wheat from the chaff than to spend the time doing it myself. I’d rather have 5 legit likes from men with jobs, few felonies, and who earn similar to me (mid 6 ). . I could fill every meal with some D if I wanted, but I don’t.

I’ve been OLD for a while now but I am not looking for long term- just a seasonal or spending on sport (ski, or golf). I’m a high earner and love being a single woman. I’d date cha.

You sound lovely. Are you looking for an accessory or a relationship? Keep it klassy.

I think it’s more “Klassy” to promise someone a ski season and keep that promise than it is to promise someone forever and not mean it. Just me though. I date with integrity and I’m honest about the fact that I am not looking for a long term relationship right now. My focus is on my kids, men are exactly what you said: an accessory to what matters in my life. Nothing wrong with that unless it terrifies you because only men are allowed to do that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP, I am a 45 year old big law partner, also divorced supporting a SAHM with 2 middle school age kids. Exact same situation, make very good money, obviously not as much to go around as before but dropping a few thousand on a fancy weekend away for a woman I am interest in is meaningless money.

These responses are complete nonsense and likely written by bitter first wives who want to see you lonely and punished. Ignore them.

You will have absolutely zero problems finding dates. Actually, it will be exhausting doing on line dating because you will have so many women match with you. Many of them will be much younger. I agree with one PP, you need to be fair to them that you are not looking for a second wife and kids because many women in their 30s are. Even if they tell you they aren't sure.

Yes, wear a condom. Of course.

Tinder is fine for hookups. Bumble is good too. Again, you will be surprised at how many younger, attractive women you will match with. If you are like some of my divorced friends, you may go through a promiscuous phase because it's so abundant, like far easier than when you were younger. But you will ultimately see that easy sex with random women creates more headache than it's worth. I can give you some funny and not so funny stories.

Single mom's are my preferred partners. They understand that when I have the kids, I am not available and I respect that they have the same situation.

Good luck, it's a crazy world out there but lots of great women looking for real connections.

Woman here. The huge factor here is that PP makes very good money. Divorced men making up to 150k or so reading this will not have the same experience. It is pretty rare to encounter a big law firm partner in his forties on dating apps.

Nope. I am the PP who said he does not make as much as the BigLaw partner. In fact I make about $160k. And what the BigLaw partner said is exactly my experience: zero problem finding dates, lots of women matching with me, including much younger ones. It's a lot of work managing all the conversations. I could easily have a date every night if I wanted to. Like him I prefer the single moms because they understand I'm not available when I have the kids.

Well I am a woman and I can tell you I could also easily find a date for every night if I was still online. (I’m dating someone now but have done a lot of online dating). It’s not all one sided.

Yes. Another woman here. Guys don’t realize we are swimming in options at pretty much any age.

Yeah. I’m 45 and can fall on a dick any day I want to. Great profile and in 24 hours of reactivating it I have 1200 likes- that’s actually the problem- it’s be easier to have my assistant sort the wheat from the chaff than to spend the time doing it myself. I’d rather have 5 legit likes from men with jobs, few felonies, and who earn similar to me (mid 6 ). . I could fill every meal with some D if I wanted, but I don’t.

I’ve been OLD for a while now but I am not looking for long term- just a seasonal or spending on sport (ski, or golf). I’m a high earner and love being a single woman. I’d date cha.

You sound lovely. Are you looking for an accessory or a relationship? Keep it klassy.

Why is it OK for a man to seek a casual relationship, but when a woman wants the same she's attacked?

[Anonymous]

Definitely choose a women with kids ..as she will have the same lifestyle as you. You will not have to worry about the childfree by choice crowd..they will totally avoid you. Choose to spend time with someone who is in the same boat as you as you will understand each other more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you make good money and are relatively physically attractive it is super easy to date women 10-15 years younger at your age. More than half of men (even young men) are now overweight and the median income is paltry. There really is very little competition

But the woman will drop him after a few years because of age difference and find someone her own age. But if he does not care about that then he can proceed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you make good money and are relatively physically attractive it is super easy to date women 10-15 years younger at your age. More than half of men (even young men) are now overweight and the median income is paltry. There really is very little competition

But the woman will drop him after a few years because of age difference and find someone her own age. But if he does not care about that then he can proceed.

Divorced 46 year old man here. I mostly date women closer to my age, but the few times I have dated younger I am well aware that the age gap becomes a cavern as we both age. And she should drop me for someone closer to her age who wants to have kids and a family. While I am sure there are the Donald Trump types that want to lock down a younger, hotter woman (who I can guarantee you doesn't have sex with him), I have zero desire to be the same.

Short story, a short term sexual relationship with a younger woman who dumps me after a while is kind of a win-win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you make good money and are relatively physically attractive it is super easy to date women 10-15 years younger at your age. More than half of men (even young men) are now overweight and the median income is paltry. There really is very little competition

But the woman will drop him after a few years because of age difference and find someone her own age. But if he does not care about that then he can proceed.

Women dump men their own age all the time, too, so “similar ages” guarantees you nothing.

[Anonymous]

I'm a 46-yo, skinny, physically fit/active, working (tho not even close to the same income bracket as a BigLaw partner) mom of two elementary aged kids, considering a divorce. I'm looking for a contentious-free home, companionship and love, since it's all missing in my current situation. It just sounds so lob-sided from reading this thread. I'd like my kids to have a male role model in the house, since I believe it's important and would rather not spend the next decade trying to secure this for my children. [Read: may find it easier to deal with my internal requirements than sacrifice my kids opportunity to benefit from having a "dad" role model at home.] How difficult is the dating world for someone like me given what I'm hoping for in the future?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely choose a women with kids ..as she will have the same lifestyle as you. You will not have to worry about the childfree by choice crowd..they will totally avoid you. Choose to spend time with someone who is in the same boat as you as you will understand each other more.

Eh, I don’t know about this. I don’t have kids but am happy to date men who do. Since I don’t have kids, I’m able to just rotate around my boyfriends custody schedule. And as things have gotten more serious, it means we don’t have to balance my kids needs vs his kids needs - his kids are front and center with no potential step siblings to deal with. I think it would be hard to handle the step sibling dynamic and juggling two custody schedules.

I didn’t have kids because I didn’t want to go through pregnancy, childbirth, and the huge demands of caring for little kids. But I like having teenagers around. I just didn’t want to be a primary caregiver for kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 46-yo, skinny, physically fit/active, working (tho not even close to the same income bracket as a BigLaw partner) mom of two elementary aged kids, considering a divorce. I'm looking for a contentious-free home, companionship and love, since it's all missing in my current situation. It just sounds so lob-sided from reading this thread. I'd like my kids to have a male role model in the house, since I believe it's important and would rather not spend the next decade trying to secure this for my children. [Read: may find it easier to deal with my internal requirements than sacrifice my kids opportunity to benefit from having a "dad" role model at home.] How difficult is the dating world for someone like me given what I'm hoping for in the future?

I'm 40 with 2 kids also elementary and going through divorce. Covid has certainly changed a lot of typical 'dating' life, but I would say it's incredibly difficult to manage both being a single mom and primary caretaker of young kids and dating. What works for my schedule doesn't always work for the men in whom I'm interested. Finding someone economically and intellectually compatible is also an issue. You may find lots of opportunities for hookups, perhaps as many as single dads find, but to get to the 'happily ever after with a blended family' is something that can take a while. I think that is something that can easily take several years and not something you should walk into without understanding, given you have a desire to have a man at home to model "dad" for the kids. It's not something that was as relevant to me. I grew up with a single mom who took care of me and my siblings with my father in another home (with a new family) and I don't think I lost out on a male role model. I also don't know your situation so cannot say how involved your husband is now with the kids or will be once you actually separate. Are you considering staying in the house while separating, or being in different homes/apartments? Maybe the best option for you is a separation while your husband stays in the house. Maybe someone on this forum has done that and can speak to it. Not sure how that actually works or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 46-yo, skinny, physically fit/active, working (tho not even close to the same income bracket as a BigLaw partner) mom of two elementary aged kids, considering a divorce. I'm looking for a contentious-free home, companionship and love, since it's all missing in my current situation. It just sounds so lob-sided from reading this thread. I'd like my kids to have a male role model in the house, since I believe it's important and would rather not spend the next decade trying to secure this for my children. [Read: may find it easier to deal with my internal requirements than sacrifice my kids opportunity to benefit from having a "dad" role model at home.] How difficult is the dating world for someone like me given what I'm hoping for in the future?

Why isn’t your children’s actual dad providing them with the benefits of a dad role model? That’s his job.

Stepkids resent stepdads and reject their authority. Are you going to support your new husband’s authority over your kids? Your kids will be mad at you if you do, your new husband will be mad at you if you don’t.

You’d have much better luck dating a guy while maintaining separate households than trying the Brady Bunch thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 46-yo, skinny, physically fit/active, working (tho not even close to the same income bracket as a BigLaw partner) mom of two elementary aged kids, considering a divorce. I'm looking for a contentious-free home, companionship and love, since it's all missing in my current situation. It just sounds so lob-sided from reading this thread. I'd like my kids to have a male role model in the house, since I believe it's important and would rather not spend the next decade trying to secure this for my children. [Read: may find it easier to deal with my internal requirements than sacrifice my kids opportunity to benefit from having a "dad" role model at home.] How difficult is the dating world for someone like me given what I'm hoping for in the future?

Why isn’t your children’s actual dad providing them with the benefits of a dad role model? That’s his job.

Stepkids resent stepdads and reject their authority. Are you going to support your new husband’s authority over your kids? Your kids will be mad at you if you do, your new husband will be mad at you if you don’t.

You’d have much better luck dating a guy while maintaining separate households than trying the Brady Bunch thing.

I agree on the dating while maintaining separate households. I'm not sure that dating ever works out while living under one roof, irrespective of whether you have a separation agreement ironed out. It's tough. I don't know anyone who has done that and haven't come across that on this forum either where someone is successfully doing this.