Dating advice for divorced dad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Thanks for all the helpful and sincere advice (and some insincere but amusing advice, too). It seems like the options for dating are single moms of any age, women in their 20s and early 30s if I'm sufficiently fun and wealthy and am willing to give them a lot of time - basically, they still expect a fairy tale, and childless women in their late 30s or older who are on the same page as me about whether to have kids in the future. And single moms may be the most practical option because then each person understands the other's limited time and other priorities. That all makes a lot of sense. I have a lot of trepidation about blending families or even giving any parental time to kids who aren't my own, but I guess I'll just deal with that if and when I get to that point. Divorce ... ugh.

1) Yeah, I wouldnt bet on women in their twenties and early thirties going for you just to get you to spend money on them. That's....yeah no. I realize someone said that upthread but I dont agree.

2) I don't think single moms are the most practical option. Women without kids, who don't want their own, and are older than forty, are the safest bet. Blending families with stepsiblings leads to a much higher divorce rate. It is easiest when only one person has kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) Yeah, I wouldnt bet on women in their twenties and early thirties going for you just to get you to spend money on them. That's....yeah no. I realize someone said that upthread but I dont agree

Have you ever been out to a hot restaurant in LA, NYC, or Miami on a Friday or Saturday night? Pre-virus of course. These aren't father-daughter couples out for a night on the town...

Even that grossness aside, a 10 year age gap in successful second marriages doesn't seem to be uncommon (from my social circle at least).

[Anonymous]

I don't think single moms are the most practical option. Women without kids, who don't want their own, and are older than forty, are the safest bet. Blending families with stepsiblings leads to a much higher divorce rate. It is easiest when only one person has kids.

And elsewhere in the thread we have people saying “ewwww no way would a woman without kids want to deal with your kids” so we have the usual conflicting advice for the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I don't think single moms are the most practical option. Women without kids, who don't want their own, and are older than forty, are the safest bet. Blending families with stepsiblings leads to a much higher divorce rate. It is easiest when only one person has kids.

And elsewhere in the thread we have people saying “ewwww no way would a woman without kids want to deal with your kids” so we have the usual conflicting advice for the OP.

I completely agree that women in their 20s and 30s would not want to deal with that. Women in their 40s who don’t have kids or more likely to be willing to date men with kids. That’s why I put an age qualifier in my advice above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Yeah, I wouldnt bet on women in their twenties and early thirties going for you just to get you to spend money on them. That's....yeah no. I realize someone said that upthread but I dont agree

Have you ever been out to a hot restaurant in LA, NYC, or Miami on a Friday or Saturday night? Pre-virus of course. These aren't father-daughter couples out for a night on the town...

Even that grossness aside, a 10 year age gap in successful second marriages doesn't seem to be uncommon (from my social circle at least).

This board is called DC urban mom. I am talking about the dating scene in DC. Post on the LA board if you want to post about LA dating dynamics. Perhaps they’re different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Yeah, I wouldnt bet on women in their twenties and early thirties going for you just to get you to spend money on them. That's....yeah no. I realize someone said that upthread but I dont agree

Have you ever been out to a hot restaurant in LA, NYC, or Miami on a Friday or Saturday night? Pre-virus of course. These aren't father-daughter couples out for a night on the town...

Even that grossness aside, a 10 year age gap in successful second marriages doesn't seem to be uncommon (from my social circle at least).

This board is called DC urban mom. I am talking about the dating scene in DC. Post on the LA board if you want to post about LA dating dynamics. Perhaps they’re different.

No it's quite common in DC as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Yeah, I wouldnt bet on women in their twenties and early thirties going for you just to get you to spend money on them. That's....yeah no. I realize someone said that upthread but I dont agree

Have you ever been out to a hot restaurant in LA, NYC, or Miami on a Friday or Saturday night? Pre-virus of course. These aren't father-daughter couples out for a night on the town...

Even that grossness aside, a 10 year age gap in successful second marriages doesn't seem to be uncommon (from my social circle at least).

This board is called DC urban mom. I am talking about the dating scene in DC. Post on the LA board if you want to post about LA dating dynamics. Perhaps they’re different.

I was referring to the 20+ year age differences you see in those other cities, which can be a little gross....10 years isn't that crazy anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Yeah, I wouldnt bet on women in their twenties and early thirties going for you just to get you to spend money on them. That's....yeah no. I realize someone said that upthread but I dont agree

Have you ever been out to a hot restaurant in LA, NYC, or Miami on a Friday or Saturday night? Pre-virus of course. These aren't father-daughter couples out for a night on the town...

Even that grossness aside, a 10 year age gap in successful second marriages doesn't seem to be uncommon (from my social circle at least).

In Chicago there is an area full of expensive restaurants called the Viagra Triangle because they are full of older guys and younger women.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think the OP has to worry too much about blending families. He should be able to find plenty of 40-something women who are just as happy as he is to keep the kids separate and not cohabitate (until the kids are grown). No divorced woman I know has any interest in raising someone else’s kids or cohabitating. They’re living in their own spaces until the kids are all launched.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think the OP has to worry too much about blending families. He should be able to find plenty of 40-something women who are just as happy as he is to keep the kids separate and not cohabitate (until the kids are grown). No divorced woman I know has any interest in raising someone else’s kids or cohabitating. They’re living in their own spaces until the kids are all launched.

This is me to a T. I’m 42 with two teens and a tween and everyone is doing well so I would be a fool to rock the boat. I’m dating a guy with one teen and he feels the same way. Coordinating intimacy time together is a challenge but we make it work. I’m doing fine financially which really helps. Once I become an empty nester it would be nice to live with someone but that is many years down the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think the OP has to worry too much about blending families. He should be able to find plenty of 40-something women who are just as happy as he is to keep the kids separate and not cohabitate (until the kids are grown). No divorced woman I know has any interest in raising someone else’s kids or cohabitating. They’re living in their own spaces until the kids are all launched.

Not the OP but another single dad, and I really hope you’re right. That’s what I’m looking for!