Spouse hiding work-wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry this work husband/wife stuff is nonsense. Work is work personal is personal. Putting a less offensive name on an emotional affair with someone does not make it ok.

Well this is just too black and white. In reality, a lot of us do get close to the people we work with. I think it’s sad to suggest that every close work partnership HAS to be either bare bones only professional interaction or it’s essentially an affair. My husband has a woman he had worked with that I am very comfortable calling his work wife. He has golfed with her husband! They text and speak by phone and share details of their lives as friends do but never in a way I have felt threatened by. Similarly, I have a friend at work like this. It isn’t sexual. It isn’t an emotional affair. We have never done drinks together alone or anything nor anything else inappropriate or line crossing, but they are the person at work (and I for them) I can safely vent to, rely on for a favor, and who just have the most similar personality to me. The person who will attend a meeting I attend and when we walk out we both mention the same absurd tidbit. It’s sad you would find THAT unacceptable since it’s a major function for a lot of people being able to cope with stress or burnout at work. Just a coworker who gets you.

Obviously OP’s issue extends to the drinks alone that he hid but a work husband/ work wife is not an inherently bad thing or a thing that is definitively line crossing in a relationship.

Maybe this terminology of work wife/husband needs to die off. There's no similarity in my mind between close coworkers and a spouse. We should leave it at "work friends". My husband has a colleague who he works with a lot (although remotely). She has helped his career. They have very compatible personalities. I would be disturbed if he started calling her his "work wife". It's actually not very funny if you think about it.

In my experience the only people who use this terminology are either older (50s and up) or they’re up to no good.

I'm a married man, mid 40s and I have a close female friend from work. Whatever you want to call it, it fits what people are talking about in this thread. I have male friends at work but we rarely talk about anything other than sports, movies or our hobbies. I can have deeper, more meaningful conversations with my female friend.

I should add that due to telework my friend and I never see each other in person - we just exchange instant messages. We never correspond outside of work as we don't have each other's phone numbers. It will never be anything other than platonic.