Behavioral Issues at Private Schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG pp's do you hear yourselves? Do you realize what perspective you are coming from? I'm actually in a similar situation but you sound so ridiculously tone-deaf it's hard to believe you're real.

Same here. The level of condescension, wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG pp's do you hear yourselves? Do you realize what perspective you are coming from? I'm actually in a similar situation but you sound so ridiculously tone-deaf it's hard to believe you're real.

Same here. The level of condescension, wow.

+100

[Anonymous]

DP. How is it condescending to state the truth, that they don't care where their kids go to college? I don't get it. The statement was made that every parent who goes to these schools will be mad with jealousy and resentful if their kids don't get into an Ivy or top college. Two posters said no, that they don't care for reasons x, y, and z, and now you are freaking out about it? You do not make any sense.

Those schools are filled with families who don't even notice the $50k/year. They probably donate multiple times that, if not more, per year. Lucky for them, and certainly not my life, but I am not blind enough to insist that these families will be upset about the loss of the tuition if their kid doesn't get into Harvard. I doubt they even think about the tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're assuming that all or even most parents are paying for outcomes re: college admissions.

I think anyone who pays top dollar for a private school, especially if that school is selective and academically rigorous (and not selected because the child has a severe special need or something similar) is absolutely interested in college outcomes. Anyone who says they don't care where - or if - their kid goes to college after they paid 50k+ / year for schooling is lying.

+1
not to mention it would be completely normal for a parent in that situation to feel uneasy / jealous / second guessing themselves if a public school neighbor ended up at the same college. That's human nature.

It actually isn't though. And this is a good thing. People know that there are many paths to the same places. One person's journey is not devalued by the price or experience or bumps along the way of another person's journey. I can only speak for myself, but I fully expect that there will be plenty of kids in other schools who get into more prestigious colleges than my kids. That doesn't change my opinion of the school we chose or the reasons we chose it for our kids. I know they will choose a college that is a good fit for them. The fact that a friend from a different school also chose a great college is also great news to me. It doesn't diminish the value of my child's experience and choices.

“Many paths to the same place.”

What’s this ”same place” you talk of? Love and happiness, feeling good? No hard work, no tests, no competition, no losing, no tough academics, no grit. The lower school we are in uses this Love of Learning front for teaching via osmosis play. Fundamentals are lacking. It gets masked over by strong academics brought in in intake years but it’s just a feel good/ learn minimal place for the non-hungry.

Just play your way through school, then a small liberal arts education, then back home, maybe get a job to complement your grandparents/parent’s allowance....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DP. How is it condescending to state the truth, that they don't care where their kids go to college? I don't get it. The statement was made that every parent who goes to these schools will be mad with jealousy and resentful if their kids don't get into an Ivy or top college. Two posters said no, that they don't care for reasons x, y, and z, and now you are freaking out about it? You do not make any sense.

Those schools are filled with families who don't even notice the $50k/year. They probably donate multiple times that, if not more, per year. Lucky for them, and certainly not my life, but I am not blind enough to insist that these families will be upset about the loss of the tuition if their kid doesn't get into Harvard. I doubt they even think about the tuition.

They don’t care about Harvard. Their kid can’t compete so they go to progressive schools where everyone swims and his or her own pace. No assessments so who knows what grade level they really are at. If you’re not pushing the kid, who knows. They’ll get coached into some overpriced, small liberal smac to di more writing and art. Maybe when they’re 30 they can get a real job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP. How is it condescending to state the truth, that they don't care where their kids go to college? I don't get it. The statement was made that every parent who goes to these schools will be mad with jealousy and resentful if their kids don't get into an Ivy or top college. Two posters said no, that they don't care for reasons x, y, and z, and now you are freaking out about it? You do not make any sense.

Those schools are filled with families who don't even notice the $50k/year. They probably donate multiple times that, if not more, per year. Lucky for them, and certainly not my life, but I am not blind enough to insist that these families will be upset about the loss of the tuition if their kid doesn't get into Harvard. I doubt they even think about the tuition.

They don’t care about Harvard. Their kid can’t compete so they go to progressive schools where everyone swims and his or her own pace. No assessments so who knows what grade level they really are at. If you’re not pushing the kid, who knows. They’ll get coached into some overpriced, small liberal smac to di more writing and art. Maybe when they’re 30 they can get a real job.

Again, you are missing the point. The PPs above are insisting that parents who pay for private are all angry, jealous, and resentful if their kids don't get into good colleges. One of them said that of course they must resent their public school neighbors (which, of course, a lot of these families don't even have). All I am saying is that statement is obviously not true. If you don't notice $50k/year, you aren't going to be resentful about it. Look, it's not my life, but I don't need to make up fantasies about it.

Also, there's a huge difference between not going to Harvard/going to a small SLAC and being a 30-year-old failure to launch. The fact you insist they are equivalent makes you ridiculous. I realize you aren't capable of nuance but consider trying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP. How is it condescending to state the truth, that they don't care where their kids go to college? I don't get it. The statement was made that every parent who goes to these schools will be mad with jealousy and resentful if their kids don't get into an Ivy or top college. Two posters said no, that they don't care for reasons x, y, and z, and now you are freaking out about it? You do not make any sense.

Those schools are filled with families who don't even notice the $50k/year. They probably donate multiple times that, if not more, per year. Lucky for them, and certainly not my life, but I am not blind enough to insist that these families will be upset about the loss of the tuition if their kid doesn't get into Harvard. I doubt they even think about the tuition.

They don’t care about Harvard. Their kid can’t compete so they go to progressive schools where everyone swims and his or her own pace. No assessments so who knows what grade level they really are at. If you’re not pushing the kid, who knows. They’ll get coached into some overpriced, small liberal smac to di more writing and art. Maybe when they’re 30 they can get a real job.

Again, you are missing the point. The PPs above are insisting that parents who pay for private are all angry, jealous, and resentful if their kids don't get into good colleges. One of them said that of course they must resent their public school neighbors (which, of course, a lot of these families don't even have). All I am saying is that statement is obviously not true. If you don't notice $50k/year, you aren't going to be resentful about it. Look, it's not my life, but I don't need to make up fantasies about it.

Also, there's a huge difference between not going to Harvard/going to a small SLAC and being a 30-year-old failure to launch. The fact you insist they are equivalent makes you ridiculous. I realize you aren't capable of nuance but consider trying.

As a very wealthy person I can tell you there are VERY few families, even at these schools, that 'don't notice' 50k/year for 14 years, often for 2 or 3 kids.

Especially if properly invested, that amount of money could be life-changing for the majority of families over the cumulative number of years they have kids at that school.

[Anonymous]

Imagine being the kind of parent who views their kids or money spent on their kids as investment vehicles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Imagine being the kind of parent who views their kids or money spent on their kids as investment vehicles.

Everyone does this to some extent.

Several multi-billion people cultures explicitly take this view, especially in Asia, SE Asia and the Mideast where you expect your eldest son’s family to take care of you once you retire.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I come from one of those mult-billion people cultures and refuse to adopt that view at all with my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Imagine being the kind of parent who views their kids or money spent on their kids as investment vehicles.

What are you talking about? That poster was just saying it’s ridiculous to say that people “don’t notice” spending that amount of money.

[Anonymous]

Who doesn’t view education as an investment? Get a grip PPP, find something real to protest about in person. Not petty little DCUM drama creation attempts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine being the kind of parent who views their kids or money spent on their kids as investment vehicles.

What are you talking about? That poster was just saying it’s ridiculous to say that people “don’t notice” spending that amount of money.

Did you not see all the posts preceding that about paying $1M vs. 0 for the same outcomes in college admissions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine being the kind of parent who views their kids or money spent on their kids as investment vehicles.

What are you talking about? That poster was just saying it’s ridiculous to say that people “don’t notice” spending that amount of money.

Did you not see all the posts preceding that about paying $1M vs. 0 for the same outcomes in college admissions?

What point are you trying to make exactly?

[Anonymous]

It's clear from this thread that lots of PPs view their kids as investments/commodities to extract ROI.