Behavioral Issues at Private Schools

[Anonymous]

Friends this weekend who are teachers at well respected (but not big 3 ) schools were saying that there are some huge issues at their schools. One went so far as to say that they have an unusually high number of psychotic kids in certain grades. Both have children and would never (even with tuition remission and financial aid) put their own children in their schools. Do you think some people go private so that they don't have to deal with their kid's issues?

[Anonymous]

Stirring the pot? Most schools have play dates, interviews, etc. I find this post difficult to believe.

[Anonymous]

Which school? You won’t be giving any personal info by naming the school.

[Anonymous]

Have some experience with this from the teaching side…

Some families are attracted to privates because they feel their child is experiencing some sort of difficulty —academic, social-emotional, or behavioral— that would be better addressed in a small environment of their choosing. A subset of these families have a diagnosis for their child, and some families do not care to get medical intervention at all. (It can be denial, concern about labels, concerns about medications.)

While teachers have a lot of strategies for dealing with behavioral challenges, it’s really hard to be effective if we don’t know what’s at the root of the challenges. Unlike the public systems, we don’t have anyone on staff who is qualified to screen and diagnose children for learning disabilities. Nor do most privates have adequate resources to create and follow individualized learning plans or behavior intervention plans when children’s challenges are appropriately identified.

Finally, money is a difficult factor in privates. The parents of behaviorally difficult children often know their children can be very challenging. If/when they have the means to do so, some will become major donors, indispensable volunteers, or even employees. This makes it all the more awkward to confront the family, let alone take a major action like expulsion.

[Anonymous]

psychotic - most kids aren't psychotic. that teacher should be terminated. And, learn to teach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:psychotic - most kids aren't psychotic. that teacher should be terminated. And, learn to teach.

Normally, I would totally agree. I’m all for meeting children with love and empathy. Yet, I have witnessed children making repeated, violent, and escalating threats that, if an adult made them, would absolutely be reported to law enforcement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:psychotic - most kids aren't psychotic. that teacher should be terminated. And, learn to teach.

Less than 1% of the adult population is psychotic and most psychosis do not develop until the late teens at the earliest, so this "teacher" seems pretty ignorant of the basic developmental knowledge you'd expect from a professional. Where do they teach?

[Anonymous]

My kid might be the type of kid you are talking about. Not psychotic. But a behavioral problem. Adhd with low frustration tolerance. He was a model student up until three years ago.The veteran teachers all left and the new ones had zero experience dealing with the behavioral side of ADHD. Plus, they didn’t follow their version of a 504. They don’t have to legally. And he got in trouble. A lot.

I pulled him out two years ago and put him in a public school that has a good reputation dealing with special education requirements. It’s like night and day. Well behaved. Focused. Good grades.

Many smaller private schools that are taking kids with learning challenges have not sufficiently trained their staff to manage them. They need the tuition. It’s not fair to the teachers, the other students, or the kids themselves. Either don’t accept kids, or train the teachers and provide the necessary supports.

[Anonymous]

Yes, there are kids with behavioral issues in private schools. No, with the very rare exception (very!), they are not psychotic.

OP, what is your issue?

[Anonymous]

Agree that it is unlikely that children are experiencing a literal break with reality as would be consistent with a diagnosis of psychosis. I also think it’s unlikely that a teacher would be diagnosing his or her students as such. People will sometimes incorrectly apply mental health descriptors, either out of ignorance of their meanings or as a way to convey hyperbole. If you feel it’s problematic, make that point instead of being snide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Many smaller private schools that are taking kids with learning challenges have not sufficiently trained their staff to manage them. They need the tuition. It’s not fair to the teachers, the other students, or the kids themselves. Either don’t accept kids, or train the teachers and provide the necessary supports.

A teaching degree, even a master's degree from a good university, might require just one special education course. Even special education teachers are often generalists who may not know very much about your child's challenge. Private schools do not require teacher certification, which creates a need for formalized continuing education. Starting salaries at privates are $5k to $10k below publics, so it's hard for them to grab up well-trained special education teachers. Also, one of the reasons why privates do not require certification is that many cannot pay for the professional development courses that are required to help teachers maintain their certification. Instead they pay for feel-good conferences or in-house lectures.

Some private schools are doing a pretty good job of supporting students. In much the same way that children want to feel successful at school, adults want to feel successful in their teaching careers. It's easier to work hard than hold together than a long, slow path of failure and much better for one's self esteem. Where the resources exist to support good classroom culture, empathetic discipline, and appropriate learning supports, teachers will gladly put them into place.

[Anonymous]

Total BS post. And useless too.

[Anonymous]

I'd be interested to know what school this is.

We were told when we toured our kids' school (which is well regarded but not a so-called "Big 3") that one of the appeals of the school was that if they had a kid with significant behavioral issues, he or she would be expelled, and you just can't do that in public schools.

Also, I think diagnoses are quicker to be made because there is so much individualized attention. It's much easier to "get away" without a adhd or anxiety (or whatever) diagnosis in public school. I know several kids with various diagnoses and it seems to have been handled really well, and with individualized care and attention, by the school (as well as by hte parents).

So, no, I do NOT think parents go private so they can avoid their kids' issues.

[Anonymous]

This post is from yet another public school parent trying to make themselves feel better about not paying the money to send their child to a private school. Yes private is better and well worth the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post is from yet another public school parent trying to make themselves feel better about not paying the money to send their child to a private school. Yes private is better and well worth the money.

Last time I checked my public high school had 9 kids admitted to Harvard, 7 Georgetown, and etc....I think someone who had paid $100k for the same outcome who has paid $0 should feel too good.