Behavioral Issues at Private Schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post is from yet another public school parent trying to make themselves feel better about not paying the money to send their child to a private school. Yes private is better and well worth the money.

Last time I checked my public high school had 9 kids admitted to Harvard, 7 Georgetown, and etc....I think someone who had paid $100k for the same outcome who has paid $0 should feel too good.

This is truly meaningless and irresponsible without knowing if any of the admittees had favored status due to factors other than academic. Honestly. Maybe you should check next time you check. Moron.

Even if PP did know those details, it is still a meaningless comment. The fact that a classmate got into a particular college tells you absolutely nothing about your child's experience at the same high school. it also tells you nothing about where your child will got to college. And it certainly fails to provide insight to the topic here: behavior issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post is from yet another public school parent trying to make themselves feel better about not paying the money to send their child to a private school. Yes private is better and well worth the money.

Last time I checked my public high school had 9 kids admitted to Harvard, 7 Georgetown, and etc....I think someone who had paid $100k for the same outcome who has paid $0 should feel too good.

This is truly meaningless and irresponsible without knowing if any of the admittees had favored status due to factors other than academic. Honestly. Maybe you should check next time you check. Moron.

And the private school kids have no favored status? OK.

And pp, it's more like $1 MILLION for the same outcome.

[Anonymous]

You're assuming that all or even most parents are paying for outcomes re: college admissions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're assuming that all or even most parents are paying for outcomes re: college admissions.

I think anyone who pays top dollar for a private school, especially if that school is selective and academically rigorous (and not selected because the child has a severe special need or something similar) is absolutely interested in college outcomes. Anyone who says they don't care where - or if - their kid goes to college after they paid 50k+ / year for schooling is lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're assuming that all or even most parents are paying for outcomes re: college admissions.

I think anyone who pays top dollar for a private school, especially if that school is selective and academically rigorous (and not selected because the child has a severe special need or something similar) is absolutely interested in college outcomes. Anyone who says they don't care where - or if - their kid goes to college after they paid 50k+ / year for schooling is lying.

+1
not to mention it would be completely normal for a parent in that situation to feel uneasy / jealous / second guessing themselves if a public school neighbor ended up at the same college. That's human nature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're assuming that all or even most parents are paying for outcomes re: college admissions.

I think anyone who pays top dollar for a private school, especially if that school is selective and academically rigorous (and not selected because the child has a severe special need or something similar) is absolutely interested in college outcomes. Anyone who says they don't care where - or if - their kid goes to college after they paid 50k+ / year for schooling is lying.

+1
not to mention it would be completely normal for a parent in that situation to feel uneasy / jealous / second guessing themselves if a public school neighbor ended up at the same college. That's human nature.

It actually isn't though. And this is a good thing. People know that there are many paths to the same places. One person's journey is not devalued by the price or experience or bumps along the way of another person's journey. I can only speak for myself, but I fully expect that there will be plenty of kids in other schools who get into more prestigious colleges than my kids. That doesn't change my opinion of the school we chose or the reasons we chose it for our kids. I know they will choose a college that is a good fit for them. The fact that a friend from a different school also chose a great college is also great news to me. It doesn't diminish the value of my child's experience and choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a long-time resident of this area with experience in both private and public, my experience is that most private school kids fit in 1 of 4 buckets:

1) family wants religious school

2) family has long standing relationship with the school and/or extreme family wealth

3) family is 'new money' and assumes things you pay for are always better, therefore private must be - they don't have much experience with private or public but just like to show off that they have money and be surrounded by people who do

4) kids with specific issues - whether they're exceptionally bright or exceptionally difficult, they're outside the norm in some way (more often negative than positive)

5) School has an approach to education that differs from other schools and align’s with family’s outlook/philosophy

Please give a concrete example of a school that does this for a particular kind of kid / family (and doesn't fit into one of the two buckets already listed - religious or kid way outside the norm).

Why does s/he need to prove it to you? And why would it be 'way outside the norm"? What's your ax?

Curiosity. Montessori is a good example although I wonder what kind of high school a kid who went through 8th in one would successfully attend.

DP. Oh for heaven's sake. Of course children who go through Montessori programs do fine in HS. (My kids went public.) Those schools, which are typically decades-old, wouldn't survive if they couldn't successfully matriculate kids to both public and private high schools. Do you possess logical thinking skills. Use your head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're assuming that all or even most parents are paying for outcomes re: college admissions.

I think anyone who pays top dollar for a private school, especially if that school is selective and academically rigorous (and not selected because the child has a severe special need or something similar) is absolutely interested in college outcomes. Anyone who says they don't care where - or if - their kid goes to college after they paid 50k+ / year for schooling is lying.

+1
not to mention it would be completely normal for a parent in that situation to feel uneasy / jealous / second guessing themselves if a public school neighbor ended up at the same college. That's human nature.

No. Many if not most parents are paying for the experience/journey. The outcome/destination is a nice-to-have, but it's secondary for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're assuming that all or even most parents are paying for outcomes re: college admissions.

I think anyone who pays top dollar for a private school, especially if that school is selective and academically rigorous (and not selected because the child has a severe special need or something similar) is absolutely interested in college outcomes. Anyone who says they don't care where - or if - their kid goes to college after they paid 50k+ / year for schooling is lying.

+1
not to mention it would be completely normal for a parent in that situation to feel uneasy / jealous / second guessing themselves if a public school neighbor ended up at the same college. That's human nature.

No. Many if not most parents are paying for the experience/journey. The outcome/destination is a nice-to-have, but it's secondary for us.

And the connections - social and otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're assuming that all or even most parents are paying for outcomes re: college admissions.

I think anyone who pays top dollar for a private school, especially if that school is selective and academically rigorous (and not selected because the child has a severe special need or something similar) is absolutely interested in college outcomes. Anyone who says they don't care where - or if - their kid goes to college after they paid 50k+ / year for schooling is lying.

+1
not to mention it would be completely normal for a parent in that situation to feel uneasy / jealous / second guessing themselves if a public school neighbor ended up at the same college. That's human nature.

No. Many if not most parents are paying for the experience/journey. The outcome/destination is a nice-to-have, but it's secondary for us.

So if your kid ended up in a 2-year state associates program after all that cash, you'd be ok with it? I highly doubt that, assuming you're at the kind of school described (selective etc). Why do you think parents on here and in real life salivate over the college acceptance lists of those schools?

Delusional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're assuming that all or even most parents are paying for outcomes re: college admissions.

I think anyone who pays top dollar for a private school, especially if that school is selective and academically rigorous (and not selected because the child has a severe special need or something similar) is absolutely interested in college outcomes. Anyone who says they don't care where - or if - their kid goes to college after they paid 50k+ / year for schooling is lying.

+1
not to mention it would be completely normal for a parent in that situation to feel uneasy / jealous / second guessing themselves if a public school neighbor ended up at the same college. That's human nature.

No. Many if not most parents are paying for the experience/journey. The outcome/destination is a nice-to-have, but it's secondary for us.

So if your kid ended up in a 2-year state associates program after all that cash, you'd be ok with it? I highly doubt that, assuming you're at the kind of school described (selective etc). Why do you think parents on here and in real life salivate over the college acceptance lists of those schools?

Delusional.

For me the "outcome" of college acceptance is totally separate from "all that cash". We are paying for the experience, and we can easily afford it. And yes, we have the privilege of not being so worked up about college admissions, because both DH and I come from families in which everyone (and nearly everyone we all married) went to Ivy league schools, and mostly HYP. Which means first, our children probably have an advantage in admissions, but second, and more importantly, there. is. more. to. life. than. getting. into. an. ivy. league. school.

I will strongly encourage my kids to go to college for so many reasons, but if one of them didn't go to college and instead pursued a different path (even after all that cash of private school!) I'd be fully supportive.

[Anonymous]

Exactly. Lots of us who care more about the journey than destination went to Ivy-type schools ourselves. It's nice to have but is by no means necessary in life.

[Anonymous]

OMG pp's do you hear yourselves? Do you realize what perspective you are coming from? I'm actually in a similar situation but you sound so ridiculously tone-deaf it's hard to believe you're real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG pp's do you hear yourselves? Do you realize what perspective you are coming from? I'm actually in a similar situation but you sound so ridiculously tone-deaf it's hard to believe you're real.

DP here, but yes the wealthy and privileged care less about credentials because they have the wealth and privilege - and with it the social capital — to ensure their children do well, even if they don’t go Ivy.

I’m second generation Ivy. I’m okay with my DCs going to whatever schools fit them best, Ivy or no. That’s partly because I know that being Ivy doesn’t not set you up for life. Character, drive, a moral compass does that.

We send our children to private schools that emphasize character AND excellence.

[Anonymous]

Good Lord, the Ivy obsession on these boards. Most of us know that where you go to college has little to do with where you end up. It's true. Just look around you at your own place of work and in your own neighborhood. It is also true of URMs. If you think every successful URM went to an Ivy league school, you are in a bubble.

And, it is why we do not obsess over and probably won't even encourage our kids to apply to those schools.

Get over it. You will enjoy your child's short time with you much more.