Having DH get a vasectomy before we seperate

[Anonymous]

If your done have children ask him to get a vasectomy. It’s a fairly routine request of a wife when both parties indicate they are done having more kids. My DH (now Ex) had one and yes...I am happy there will not be any accidental half siblings. He had it when divorce was not on the horizon. If he really wants another kid, he likely could have it reversed but since he couldn’t handle the first set of kids...I doubt he goes that route.

[Anonymous]

I was glad my ex wanted to get one. We had 4 kids and 4 was enough. I am ok with being called selfish because I am. I had zero interest in splitting resources, including his time, with a second family.

I totally get where you are coming from, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP will you have your tubes tied as well so you can’t make anymore children who might take resources away from your current two?

I’m a second wife who had my DH get a V. Everyone breathing easier though he’s been great at picking up the slack from my loser XH. DH’s first wife has not remarried, but I could completely understand why she might have wanted DH to not have more kids when he married me. Resources are finite. Why cause friction and drama just to have an “ours”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got my dh to do this. Thing was he didn’t want more kids anyway. How do you motivate him? Maybe start talking about having another baby?

Why are you saying DH when you divorced? The thread is about asking husband to get snipped before a divorce. Do we still use DH/DW when we are talking about ex spouses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get it.

I think is ALWAYS a disservice to your first kids to have more with a second/third spouse.

It’s not about money.

I agree. One family is enough. So glad I never had to deal with this with my parents, nor have my kids had to deal with it with it with my ex and I. Ex is now deceased so there is no chance of any extras coming along. Having a bunch of half-siblings and blended families is just messy and selfish.

[Anonymous]

You should try to get him to have a V because then his sex life with the new, hotter, younger women he meets after you will be 10X better. Nothing is sexier to a woman than a man with a V. Trust me, I know. They thank me for it. It's sexual freedom. No contraceptives, no condoms, zero fear of pregnancy. I can barely remember life before the V.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was glad my ex wanted to get one. We had 4 kids and 4 was enough. I am ok with being called selfish because I am. I had zero interest in splitting resources, including his time, with a second family.

I totally get where you are coming from, OP.

You aren't splitting resources. You aren't going to get more - its all a guideline. If 4 kids is a lot, you were completely selfish having that many.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it.

I think is ALWAYS a disservice to your first kids to have more with a second/third spouse.

It’s not about money.

I agree. One family is enough. So glad I never had to deal with this with my parents, nor have my kids had to deal with it with it with my ex and I. Ex is now deceased so there is no chance of any extras coming along. Having a bunch of half-siblings and blended families is just messy and selfish.

Who are you to decide one family is enough? My husband's ex cheated on him and took the kids to be with her AP and restricted access. He was only a child support check and extra's upon demand. So she gets to be "happy" with her AP - she isn't actually happy but that is a different issue and he should never get to marry or have kids? Your ex is probably lucky he is deceased as you are probably the parent who would not let him see the kids to be spiteful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP will you have your tubes tied as well so you can’t make anymore children who might take resources away from your current two?

I’m a second wife who had my DH get a V. Everyone breathing easier though he’s been great at picking up the slack from my loser XH. DH’s first wife has not remarried, but I could completely understand why she might have wanted DH to not have more kids when he married me. Resources are finite. Why cause friction and drama just to have an “ours”.

You should have seen how he treated his first wife and kids to know you should never have married him or had kids with him. A V. does not stop having kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was glad my ex wanted to get one. We had 4 kids and 4 was enough. I am ok with being called selfish because I am. I had zero interest in splitting resources, including his time, with a second family.

I totally get where you are coming from, OP.

You aren't splitting resources. You aren't going to get more - its all a guideline. If 4 kids is a lot, you were completely selfish having that many.

Yes it is. The kids will get less time and money from the dad if he has more kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was glad my ex wanted to get one. We had 4 kids and 4 was enough. I am ok with being called selfish because I am. I had zero interest in splitting resources, including his time, with a second family.

I totally get where you are coming from, OP.

You aren't splitting resources. You aren't going to get more - its all a guideline. If 4 kids is a lot, you were completely selfish having that many.

You must be the second (or third) wife. You are most certainly splitting resources if a man has to split time between two families.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]you are batshit crazy!

My boyfriend has been separated for two years and will be divorced soon.

His ex wife is a controlling bitch who alienates him from his daughter and tries to limit his custody so she can maximize her CS.

Well she's got another thing coming because now I'm pregnant and we will have our own family. He doesn't have to cry every night from missing his child bc I will give him another one.

Oh and the ex wife kept saying that he better not have another kid. Bye bitch. [/quote]

Hello, my worst nightmare!
-OP[/quote]

No matter what you think, your child will not replace his first child. And any man who will distance himself from his children from his first marriage isn’t much of a father or the type of man you should want.
[/quote]
Please work on your reading skills. He WANTS a relationship with his child but his ex has worked through the court system to alienate him from his child to the point that he only sees the child a few days a month so that she can be primary parent to maximize her child support. He has been battling for 50/50 custody for the past two years. You greedy bitches who just want the man's money at any expense whether it's through duping him to get a vasectomy under false pretenses to ripping an highly involved father away from his child to benefit yourself financially are a piece work.

Oh and for what it's worth I agree with the poster who thinks that the OP might have some kind of personality disorder because my boyfriends ex is a certified narcissist.[/quote]

Of course, she is! Unfortunately, your BF has a type. That’s what he’ll tell the new girl when he describes you and your child conceived while he was married to someone else. [/quote]

I think I’d fight any type of custody with my X if he was dating a woman like you. I certainly wouldn’t want my child around someone like that. Aside from the fact that you sound crazy, how embarrassing to have a half-sibling conceived before his father’s divorce is final.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it.

I think is ALWAYS a disservice to your first kids to have more with a second/third spouse.

It’s not about money.

I agree. One family is enough. So glad I never had to deal with this with my parents, nor have my kids had to deal with it with it with my ex and I. Ex is now deceased so there is no chance of any extras coming along. Having a bunch of half-siblings and blended families is just messy and selfish.

Who are you to decide one family is enough? My husband's ex cheated on him and took the kids to be with her AP and restricted access. He was only a child support check and extra's upon demand. So she gets to be "happy" with her AP - she isn't actually happy but that is a different issue and he should never get to marry or have kids? Your ex is probably lucky he is deceased as you are probably the parent who would not let him see the kids to be spiteful.

I am sorry that you are so bitter about your role as #2. Walking in his ex's shadow must be a hard pill to swallow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should try to get him to have a V because then his sex life with the new, hotter, younger women he meets after you will be 10X better. Nothing is sexier to a woman than a man with a V. Trust me, I know. They thank me for it. It's sexual freedom. No contraceptives, no condoms, zero fear of pregnancy. I can barely remember life before the V.

Let him find younger women to have sex with. I’ll have his kids and his former life, and I won’t have his future problems to deal with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should try to get him to have a V because then his sex life with the new, hotter, younger women he meets after you will be 10X better. Nothing is sexier to a woman than a man with a V. Trust me, I know. They thank me for it. It's sexual freedom. No contraceptives, no condoms, zero fear of pregnancy. I can barely remember life before the V.

Sounds like a win - win for both sides!