Having DH get a vasectomy before we seperate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should try to get him to have a V because then his sex life with the new, hotter, younger women he meets after you will be 10X better. Nothing is sexier to a woman than a man with a V. Trust me, I know. They thank me for it. It's sexual freedom. No contraceptives, no condoms, zero fear of pregnancy. I can barely remember life before the V.

This would have been perfectly fine with me. My XH can shoot blanks all over the continental US and I wouldn’t care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP will you have your tubes tied as well so you can’t make anymore children who might take resources away from your current two?

I’m a second wife who had my DH get a V. Everyone breathing easier though he’s been great at picking up the slack from my loser XH. DH’s first wife has not remarried, but I could completely understand why she might have wanted DH to not have more kids when he married me. Resources are finite. Why cause friction and drama just to have an “ours”.

You should have seen how he treated his first wife and kids to know you should never have married him or had kids with him. A V. does not stop having kids.

Oh, my DH’s a great dad and a great provider. The V helps him sustain that. He was able to help my stepson with college and law school because we didn’t have a baby together. His XW and I have never had any conflict because she knows her son isn’t being shortchanged by my popping out additional kids as a symbol of how much DH and I love each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I guess if you get pregnant, he can “make” you have an abortion. Or if you threaten, make you get your tubes tied.

I’m late in on this, and without reading any further on the thread, many men “make” women chose abortions, or whatever, by negating, neglecting, or deflecting that birth control is a two way street.

And yes, many women have their tubes tied because their husbands wouldn’t get vasectomies after the women have had multiple children and have already had the responsibility of many years of birth control and child bearing already.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]you are batshit crazy!

My boyfriend has been separated for two years and will be divorced soon.

His ex wife is a controlling bitch who alienates him from his daughter and tries to limit his custody so she can maximize her CS.

Well she's got another thing coming because now I'm pregnant and we will have our own family. He doesn't have to cry every night from missing his child bc I will give him another one.

Oh and the ex wife kept saying that he better not have another kid. Bye bitch. [/quote]

Hello, my worst nightmare!
-OP[/quote]

No matter what you think, your child will not replace his first child. And any man who will distance himself from his children from his first marriage isn’t much of a father or the type of man you should want.
[/quote]
Please work on your reading skills. He WANTS a relationship with his child but his ex has worked through the court system to alienate him from his child to the point that he only sees the child a few days a month so that she can be primary parent to maximize her child support. He has been battling for 50/50 custody for the past two years. You greedy bitches who just want the man's money at any expense whether it's through duping him to get a vasectomy under false pretenses to ripping an highly involved father away from his child to benefit yourself financially are a piece work.

Oh and for what it's worth I agree with the poster who thinks that the OP might have some kind of personality disorder because my boyfriends ex is a certified narcissist.[/quote]

Of course, she is! Unfortunately, your BF has a type. That’s what he’ll tell the new girl when he describes you and your child conceived while he was married to someone else. [/quote]

I think I’d fight any type of custody with my X if he was dating a woman like you. I certainly wouldn’t want my child around someone like that. Aside from the fact that you sound crazy, how embarrassing to have a half-sibling conceived before his father’s divorce is final.[/quote]
It's not embarrassing. Way to project. They've been completely separated and living apart for the past two years but his ex has been dragging things out over custody. Life goes on and it's time for his ex to move on instead of being a bitter old hag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I guess if you get pregnant, he can “make” you have an abortion. Or if you threaten, make you get your tubes tied.

I’m late in on this, and without reading any further on the thread, many men “make” women chose abortions, or whatever, by negating, neglecting, or deflecting that birth control is a two way street.

And yes, many women have their tubes tied because their husbands wouldn’t get vasectomies after the women have had multiple children and have already had the responsibility of many years of birth control and child bearing already.

You are late to this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has to think about her children. If you think it's in their best interest to encourage him to get a vasectomy, do it.

If OP were actually thinking about her kids, she would not have had more children than she can support all by herself.

Pay attention, Ladies. DCUM has been especially enlightening about male attitudes this week.

Any nudes you send him, he will share with his buddies.
Men marry for sex.
Be able to support any kids he fathers with you all on your own.

Keep ‘em coming, guys. This is going to spare a lot of women.

And this thread also shows how many females view men and quite frankly it's terrifying.

Pay attention men:

You are a walking wallet. Any woman you marry will make sure you pay her way for the rest of your working life. Of course cough cough it's for the children.

As a man you cannot have any say over her fertility or her body however she will feel like she can have a say over yours.

Forget honesty, you will be manipulated and lied to for her to achieve the result best suited for HER.

You actually don’t know how child support works, do you?

It stops at 18 in the vast majority of cases. 21 in a few states and DC. Unless your kids with that ex-wife are a decade or more apart in age, CS is going to be a short obligation on your part and a brief benefit for her and the kids.

It is also typically a low sum unless you are a multi-millionaire (and we know YOU and most of your audience aren’t) so hardly enough to fully support the exwife and kids.

And unless you stopped having at kids at age 50, paying even 18 years of child support won’t be for the rest of your working life. Let’s be honest that you were never going to be able to retire early anyway.

Funny, so many assumptions you make. I'm female and will be retiring before 68 years old. From money I made FYI.

As a female I am a little horrified at some of the thought processes on this thread. There are some really low females posting here. Really really low.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has to think about her children. If you think it's in their best interest to encourage him to get a vasectomy, do it.

If OP were actually thinking about her kids, she would not have had more children than she can support all by herself.

Pay attention, Ladies. DCUM has been especially enlightening about male attitudes this week.

Any nudes you send him, he will share with his buddies.
Men marry for sex.
Be able to support any kids he fathers with you all on your own.

Keep ‘em coming, guys. This is going to spare a lot of women.

And this thread also shows how many females view men and quite frankly it's terrifying.

Pay attention men:

You are a walking wallet. Any woman you marry will make sure you pay her way for the rest of your working life. Of course cough cough it's for the children.

As a man you cannot have any say over her fertility or her body however she will feel like she can have a say over yours.

Forget honesty, you will be manipulated and lied to for her to achieve the result best suited for HER.

You actually don’t know how child support works, do you?

It stops at 18 in the vast majority of cases. 21 in a few states and DC. Unless your kids with that ex-wife are a decade or more apart in age, CS is going to be a short obligation on your part and a brief benefit for her and the kids.

It is also typically a low sum unless you are a multi-millionaire (and we know YOU and most of your audience aren’t) so hardly enough to fully support the exwife and kids.

And unless you stopped having at kids at age 50, paying even 18 years of child support won’t be for the rest of your working life. Let’s be honest that you were never going to be able to retire early anyway.

Funny, so many assumptions you make. I'm female and will be retiring before 68 years old. From money I made FYI.

As a female I am a little horrified at some of the thought processes on this thread. There are some really low females posting here. Really really low.

It’s easy to retire early if you never married or had kids. But difficult to understand why a mother might want to protect her kids.

[Anonymous]

I feel sad for the person that thinks a dad's "support" ends at 18 or 21. Really, really, really sad.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]you are batshit crazy!

My boyfriend has been separated for two years and will be divorced soon.

His ex wife is a controlling bitch who alienates him from his daughter and tries to limit his custody so she can maximize her CS.

Well she's got another thing coming because now I'm pregnant and we will have our own family. He doesn't have to cry every night from missing his child bc I will give him another one.

Oh and the ex wife kept saying that he better not have another kid. Bye bitch. [/quote]

Hello, my worst nightmare!
-OP[/quote]

No matter what you think, your child will not replace his first child. And any man who will distance himself from his children from his first marriage isn’t much of a father or the type of man you should want.
[/quote]
Please work on your reading skills. He WANTS a relationship with his child but his ex has worked through the court system to alienate him from his child to the point that he only sees the child a few days a month so that she can be primary parent to maximize her child support. He has been battling for 50/50 custody for the past two years. You greedy bitches who just want the man's money at any expense whether it's through duping him to get a vasectomy under false pretenses to ripping an highly involved father away from his child to benefit yourself financially are a piece work.

Oh and for what it's worth I agree with the poster who thinks that the OP might have some kind of personality disorder because my boyfriends ex is a certified narcissist.[/quote]

Of course, she is! Unfortunately, your BF has a type. That’s what he’ll tell the new girl when he describes you and your child conceived while he was married to someone else. [/quote]

I think I’d fight any type of custody with my X if he was dating a woman like you. I certainly wouldn’t want my child around someone like that. Aside from the fact that you sound crazy, how embarrassing to have a half-sibling conceived before his father’s divorce is final.[/quote]
It's not embarrassing. Way to project. They've been completely separated and living apart for the past two years but his ex has been dragging things out over custody. Life goes on and it's time for his ex to move on instead of being a bitter old hag. [/quote]

You need to let him manage this. Your language shows that you are not emotionally mature. It’s fine to be supportive, but ultimately you are outside that interaction. You sound a bit unhinged. Which could be stress or concern, but I’m suspecting it’s more your nature.

[Anonymous]

On the flip side, I have a co-worker who was the side chick to another coworker. He left his wife and two kids and married his affair partner. He’d had a vasectomy and they did some procedure to extract sperm from him and she did IVF. Now I see tons of pics of their kid on FB and none with his first kids.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]you are batshit crazy!

My boyfriend has been separated for two years and will be divorced soon.

His ex wife is a controlling bitch who alienates him from his daughter and tries to limit his custody so she can maximize her CS.

Well she's got another thing coming because now I'm pregnant and we will have our own family. He doesn't have to cry every night from missing his child bc I will give him another one.

Oh and the ex wife kept saying that he better not have another kid. Bye bitch. [/quote]

Hello, my worst nightmare!
-OP[/quote]

No matter what you think, your child will not replace his first child. And any man who will distance himself from his children from his first marriage isn’t much of a father or the type of man you should want.
[/quote]
Please work on your reading skills. He WANTS a relationship with his child but his ex has worked through the court system to alienate him from his child to the point that he only sees the child a few days a month so that she can be primary parent to maximize her child support. He has been battling for 50/50 custody for the past two years. You greedy bitches who just want the man's money at any expense whether it's through duping him to get a vasectomy under false pretenses to ripping an highly involved father away from his child to benefit yourself financially are a piece work.

Oh and for what it's worth I agree with the poster who thinks that the OP might have some kind of personality disorder because my boyfriends ex is a certified narcissist.[/quote]

Of course, she is! Unfortunately, your BF has a type. That’s what he’ll tell the new girl when he describes you and your child conceived while he was married to someone else. [/quote]

I think I’d fight any type of custody with my X if he was dating a woman like you. I certainly wouldn’t want my child around someone like that. Aside from the fact that you sound crazy, how embarrassing to have a half-sibling conceived before his father’s divorce is final.[/quote]
It's not embarrassing. Way to project. They've been completely separated and living apart for the past two years but his ex has been dragging things out over custody. Life goes on and it's time for his ex to move on instead of being a bitter old hag. [/quote]

You need to let him manage this. Your language shows that you are not emotionally mature. It’s fine to be supportive, but ultimately you are outside that interaction. You sound a bit unhinged. Which could be stress or concern, but I’m suspecting it’s more your nature. [/quote]

I think we’re wasting our time trying to debate someone who would get knocked up with a man who is not even divorced yet. Clearly, she lacks judgment at best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On the flip side, I have a co-worker who was the side chick to another coworker. He left his wife and two kids and married his affair partner. He’d had a vasectomy and they did some procedure to extract sperm from him and she did IVF. Now I see tons of pics of their kid on FB and none with his first kids.

I hope the former side chick is putting aside money to care for the child on her own once he moves on to the next side chick.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]you are batshit crazy!

My boyfriend has been separated for two years and will be divorced soon.

His ex wife is a controlling bitch who alienates him from his daughter and tries to limit his custody so she can maximize her CS.

Well she's got another thing coming because now I'm pregnant and we will have our own family. He doesn't have to cry every night from missing his child bc I will give him another one.

Oh and the ex wife kept saying that he better not have another kid. Bye bitch. [/quote]

Hello, my worst nightmare!
-OP[/quote]

No matter what you think, your child will not replace his first child. And any man who will distance himself from his children from his first marriage isn’t much of a father or the type of man you should want.
[/quote]
Please work on your reading skills. He WANTS a relationship with his child but his ex has worked through the court system to alienate him from his child to the point that he only sees the child a few days a month so that she can be primary parent to maximize her child support. He has been battling for 50/50 custody for the past two years. You greedy bitches who just want the man's money at any expense whether it's through duping him to get a vasectomy under false pretenses to ripping an highly involved father away from his child to benefit yourself financially are a piece work.

Oh and for what it's worth I agree with the poster who thinks that the OP might have some kind of personality disorder because my boyfriends ex is a certified narcissist.[/quote]

Of course, she is! Unfortunately, your BF has a type. That’s what he’ll tell the new girl when he describes you and your child conceived while he was married to someone else. [/quote]

I think I’d fight any type of custody with my X if he was dating a woman like you. I certainly wouldn’t want my child around someone like that. Aside from the fact that you sound crazy, how embarrassing to have a half-sibling conceived before his father’s divorce is final.[/quote]
It's not embarrassing. Way to project. They've been completely separated and living apart for the past two years but his ex has been dragging things out over custody. Life goes on and it's time for his ex to move on instead of being a bitter old hag. [/quote]

You need to let him manage this. Your language shows that you are not emotionally mature. It’s fine to be supportive, but ultimately you are outside that interaction. You sound a bit unhinged. Which could be stress or concern, but I’m suspecting it’s more your nature. [/quote]

I think we’re wasting our time trying to debate someone who would get knocked up with a man who is not even divorced yet. Clearly, she lacks judgment at best. [/quote]

+1 My middle half-brother was conceived of an extramarital affair that my father had with his mom. My parents divorced long after he was born. My brother has been in therapy his entire life basically. He’s now 38. Our other half-brother isn’t like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has to think about her children. If you think it's in their best interest to encourage him to get a vasectomy, do it.

If OP were actually thinking about her kids, she would not have had more children than she can support all by herself.

Pay attention, Ladies. DCUM has been especially enlightening about male attitudes this week.

Any nudes you send him, he will share with his buddies.
Men marry for sex.
Be able to support any kids he fathers with you all on your own.

Keep ‘em coming, guys. This is going to spare a lot of women.

And this thread also shows how many females view men and quite frankly it's terrifying.

Pay attention men:

You are a walking wallet. Any woman you marry will make sure you pay her way for the rest of your working life. Of course cough cough it's for the children.

As a man you cannot have any say over her fertility or her body however she will feel like she can have a say over yours.

Forget honesty, you will be manipulated and lied to for her to achieve the result best suited for HER.

You actually don’t know how child support works, do you?

It stops at 18 in the vast majority of cases. 21 in a few states and DC. Unless your kids with that ex-wife are a decade or more apart in age, CS is going to be a short obligation on your part and a brief benefit for her and the kids.

It is also typically a low sum unless you are a multi-millionaire (and we know YOU and most of your audience aren’t) so hardly enough to fully support the exwife and kids.

And unless you stopped having at kids at age 50, paying even 18 years of child support won’t be for the rest of your working life. Let’s be honest that you were never going to be able to retire early anyway.

Funny, so many assumptions you make. I'm female and will be retiring before 68 years old. From money I made FYI.

As a female I am a little horrified at some of the thought processes on this thread. There are some really low females posting here. Really really low.

Some appalling women. Don't any of you have sons?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has to think about her children. If you think it's in their best interest to encourage him to get a vasectomy, do it.

If OP were actually thinking about her kids, she would not have had more children than she can support all by herself.

Pay attention, Ladies. DCUM has been especially enlightening about male attitudes this week.

Any nudes you send him, he will share with his buddies.
Men marry for sex.
Be able to support any kids he fathers with you all on your own.

Keep ‘em coming, guys. This is going to spare a lot of women.

And this thread also shows how many females view men and quite frankly it's terrifying.

Pay attention men:

You are a walking wallet. Any woman you marry will make sure you pay her way for the rest of your working life. Of course cough cough it's for the children.

As a man you cannot have any say over her fertility or her body however she will feel like she can have a say over yours.

Forget honesty, you will be manipulated and lied to for her to achieve the result best suited for HER.

You actually don’t know how child support works, do you?

It stops at 18 in the vast majority of cases. 21 in a few states and DC. Unless your kids with that ex-wife are a decade or more apart in age, CS is going to be a short obligation on your part and a brief benefit for her and the kids.

It is also typically a low sum unless you are a multi-millionaire (and we know YOU and most of your audience aren’t) so hardly enough to fully support the exwife and kids.

And unless you stopped having at kids at age 50, paying even 18 years of child support won’t be for the rest of your working life. Let’s be honest that you were never going to be able to retire early anyway.

Funny, so many assumptions you make. I'm female and will be retiring before 68 years old. From money I made FYI.

As a female I am a little horrified at some of the thought processes on this thread. There are some really low females posting here. Really really low.

Some appalling women. Don't any of you have sons?

I do and I hope my sons take good care of my grandchildren!

That includes providing for them financially and not having more children than they can afford.