S/O Why do you care if moms stay home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s funny is that childless working women usually turn on working moms. I work in finance and 9/10 female senior exes are childless and they do NOTcare if you have a kid that needs to be picked up at a certain time or is sick, etc. Where’s your rah rah feminism then huh?

That's terrible!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s funny is that childless working women usually turn on working moms. I work in finance and 9/10 female senior exes are childless and they do NOTcare if you have a kid that needs to be picked up at a certain time or is sick, etc. Where’s your rah rah feminism then huh?

My Not for profit was the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been both a WOHM and a SAHM, and the vitriol spewed by the WOHMs is way worse. Not even close.

Wow, so have I, and my experience has been just the opposite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, you seem to forget that civic America used to run on... sah moms! Church groups, league of women voters, all kinds of volunteer organizations, etc. Educated women who had the time and attention to engage with society. Is it really better for society to have every parent scrambling bt work and childcare, with no time for reading, community activism, etc?

I think this is very true, and it would be great if we structured society so that people could have all their necessities covered with one person working full time, or two people working full time, or (gasp) a single person who could take a paid maternity leave. In a world where many of us are hustling harder all the time (and for me that's not so I can have a bigger house or fancier vacation, but so I can pay my rent and have health insurance) does wear away at our family life and at our civic society.

I found this to be a useful book (JHU professor) if anyone else is interested:
https://punctumbooks.com/titles/knocking-the-hustle/

Is this really true? Women have always worked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, you seem to forget that civic America used to run on... sah moms! Church groups, league of women voters, all kinds of volunteer organizations, etc. Educated women who had the time and attention to engage with society. Is it really better for society to have every parent scrambling bt work and childcare, with no time for reading, community activism, etc?

I think this is very true, and it would be great if we structured society so that people could have all their necessities covered with one person working full time, or two people working full time, or (gasp) a single person who could take a paid maternity leave. In a world where many of us are hustling harder all the time (and for me that's not so I can have a bigger house or fancier vacation, but so I can pay my rent and have health insurance) does wear away at our family life and at our civic society.

I found this to be a useful book (JHU professor) if anyone else is interested:
https://punctumbooks.com/titles/knocking-the-hustle/

Is this really true? Women have always worked.

Upper middle class and wealthy women didn't work. In the 1950's-70's most middle class married women didn't work, or else that was the "ideal".

[Anonymous]

I am a wohm. I admit that it’s a constant struggle between wanting to spend time with kids but also working. I want both! I spent so many years in school and am excited about my career. I also love my kids! I look for flexible jobs that will allow me to be home early to pick them up from preschool.

I sometimes feel guilty when sahms say, “i want to be there for my kids,” “family first,” “i could never send them to daycare/nanny,” “can’t trust anyone,” etc.

At work, I feel bad for having to draw the line and say I can’t do certain things bc of my kids.

It would be amazing if the sahms and wohms, non parents - EVERYONE- understood that raising good kids is a benefit to society. If that means wohms who have more flexible schedules offer other wohms to carpool more or sahms offer to help the wahms bc they have more time, that would be great! Employers understanding that parents (not just moms) need flexibility is amaing. We need everyone to help each other and not just focus on our nuclear family. If we did this, society would be so mich better off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a wohm. I admit that it’s a constant struggle between wanting to spend time with kids but also working. I want both! I spent so many years in school and am excited about my career. I also love my kids! I look for flexible jobs that will allow me to be home early to pick them up from preschool.

I sometimes feel guilty when sahms say, “i want to be there for my kids,” “family first,” “i could never send them to daycare/nanny,” “can’t trust anyone,” etc.

At work, I feel bad for having to draw the line and say I can’t do certain things bc of my kids.

It would be amazing if the sahms and wohms, non parents - EVERYONE- understood that raising good kids is a benefit to society. If that means wohms who have more flexible schedules offer other wohms to carpool more or sahms offer to help the wahms bc they have more time, that would be great! Employers understanding that parents (not just moms) need flexibility is amaing. We need everyone to help each other and not just focus on our nuclear family. If we did this, society would be so mich better off

You love your kids. The fact that you care enough to worry about these issues, means you're doing s terrific job! "Bad" parents don't even give parenting challenges a thought! Caring parents = kids turn out just fine! - A "stay at home mom"/ part time work at home mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s funny is that childless working women usually turn on working moms. I work in finance and 9/10 female senior exes are childless and they do NOTcare if you have a kid that needs to be picked up at a certain time or is sick, etc. Where’s your rah rah feminism then huh?

My Not for profit was the same.

I'm thinking this must be misplaced insecurity. It's like people forget we were all children at some point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s funny is that childless working women usually turn on working moms. I work in finance and 9/10 female senior exes are childless and they do NOTcare if you have a kid that needs to be picked up at a certain time or is sick, etc. Where’s your rah rah feminism then huh?

My Not for profit was the same.

I worked in Marketing in a fortune 500 Hospitality company in DMV that was known as one of the best places for working moms. The senior exes were not only childress, but second wives of older men whose kids were all grown up. They were absolute bitches about moms. Yes, working moms have it tough because of toxic work environment. Usually the worst offenders are female bosses. I have worked with married male bosses with kids after that and they were the best to work with.

Another important thing to note was these women had terrible academic qualification. One director was actually taking online courses to get an undergraduate degree, others had just undergrad degrees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s funny is that childless working women usually turn on working moms. I work in finance and 9/10 female senior exes are childless and they do NOTcare if you have a kid that needs to be picked up at a certain time or is sick, etc. Where’s your rah rah feminism then huh?

My Not for profit was the same.

I'm thinking this must be misplaced insecurity. It's like people forget we were all children at some point.

It’s jealousy. I know a woman in a high up position and she refuses to meet my child and said i shouldn’t be pregnant again with a brat. Then over dinner proudly recounted how she told a working mom to shut up because nobody is interested in her children when her team was getting drinks. There are tons of bitter women like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s funny is that childless working women usually turn on working moms. I work in finance and 9/10 female senior exes are childless and they do NOTcare if you have a kid that needs to be picked up at a certain time or is sick, etc. Where’s your rah rah feminism then huh?

My Not for profit was the same.

I'm thinking this must be misplaced insecurity. It's like people forget we were all children at some point.

It’s jealousy. I know a woman in a high up position and she refuses to meet my child and said i shouldn’t be pregnant again with a brat. Then over dinner proudly recounted how she told a working mom to shut up because nobody is interested in her children when her team was getting drinks. There are tons of bitter women like that.

I’m currently staying home, but I don’t think so. Some people don’t want kids, don’t like kids, and don’t want to hear about them. I don’t have a problem with that. I just want both working parents to have support from the workplace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never jump into these stupid debates and did not read the prior posts, but for this one I have to, because the OP betrays the total ignorance about history, women's rights, and the role of women in society.

It is not just about what you, Cindy Lou, decide to do with your career once you have kids. It's about the bigger picture, and the fact that when women are not able to, for various reasons, combine career with family, or when we collectively as a society start to spin a narrative that children are hurt when women work, then women feel pressured to drop out, or guilted into dropping out, or forced into it, and then women (and children) suffer the consequences, for example:

-when you have only male OB/GYNs who force you into c-sections and many other procedures because of a lack of understanding or care for what women face
-when there is less money given in the budget process of government to education, or protection for families, because men typically value these things less
-- when you get no paid maternity leave because CEOs are all men and so are the legislators
-- when scientists run studies only on male subjects because they assume women are the same
-- when rape kids go untouched because it's simply not a priority for police departments (mostly male)
-when you have no access to birth control because male legislators don't value it

I could go on and on. All of the above is part of our history and was part of our reality for hundreds/thousands of years. This is why women have fought to be in the workplace. So when SAHMs start talking about "who cares when women aren't part of the workforce," well that is just completely stupid.

Mic drop, girl. And this is the fundamental issue I have with SAHMs. They are so freaking selfish and narrow-minded. THIS IS WHAT THE WOMEN WHO CAME BEFORE US FOUGHT FOR. but they can’t see the societal consequences (which you so brilliantly outlined).

Eye roll. This feminist crap makes me ill.

The idea of women being empowered makes you ill? I’m not even a feminist but that line of thought is pretty gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s funny is that childless working women usually turn on working moms. I work in finance and 9/10 female senior exes are childless and they do NOTcare if you have a kid that needs to be picked up at a certain time or is sick, etc. Where’s your rah rah feminism then huh?

My Not for profit was the same.

I'm thinking this must be misplaced insecurity. It's like people forget we were all children at some point.

It’s jealousy. I know a woman in a high up position and she refuses to meet my child and said i shouldn’t be pregnant again with a brat. Then over dinner proudly recounted how she told a working mom to shut up because nobody is interested in her children when her team was getting drinks. There are tons of bitter women like that.

I’m currently staying home, but I don’t think so. Some people don’t want kids, don’t like kids, and don’t want to hear about them. I don’t have a problem with that. I just want both working parents to have support from the workplace.

Sure in this case the woman wanted kids so she wanted to freeze an entire ovary. Don’t underestimate jealousy between women.

[Anonymous]

I work full time, and I don't care if other moms decide to say home, I guess. You do you. But, I do judge, because most of the ones I know are not like the wealthy SAHM described upthread that spends time engaging their kids and does a hundred times better than a nanny or a daycare. Most of the SAHM's I know are lazy and complain about how tired they are when all they did that day was go to target and then sit their kid in front of the TV for two hours. Then, they send their one year old to "preschool" three days a week, AKA day care and brag about their relaxing lunches out and yoga etc. I'm not a fan of lazy people and I find I have nothing in common with this demographic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a WOHM, and SAHMs don't bother me one bit. What is annoying is all the husbands of the SAHMs at work who make comments about how they would never trust a daycare/nanny with their children, when they know that most of the women in our office are mothers in dual-career families.

You know I think this is a big part of it for the high earning set. I work SAHM’s husbands and see how little it’s respected while simultaneously making it harder for women to be respected at work bc most working women don’t have SAH husbands. And then the SaHMs are all like “it’s ok bc DH makes a high salary” and I’m rolling my eyes bc you don’t know what he’s saying/doing not in your presence. There’s an interesting study about the best men to work for being men who have wives that also work - working with a man with a SAHW is absolutely the worst - they are the biggest babies and entitled and also the most likely to have an affair with the intern and promote her.