S/O Why do you care if moms stay home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The women’s movement was about giving women opportunity and choices in life.

It was not about turning them into make worker bees.

So being a SAHM isn't also like being a worker bee?

C'mon. Enough already. Women do a lot of work in society, paid and unpaid. We should value all women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never jump into these stupid debates and did not read the prior posts, but for this one I have to, because the OP betrays the total ignorance about history, women's rights, and the role of women in society.

It is not just about what you, Cindy Lou, decide to do with your career once you have kids. It's about the bigger picture, and the fact that when women are not able to, for various reasons, combine career with family, or when we collectively as a society start to spin a narrative that children are hurt when women work, then women feel pressured to drop out, or guilted into dropping out, or forced into it, and then women (and children) suffer the consequences, for example:

-when you have only male OB/GYNs who force you into c-sections and many other procedures because of a lack of understanding or care for what women face
-when there is less money given in the budget process of government to education, or protection for families, because men typically value these things less
-- when you get no paid maternity leave because CEOs are all men and so are the legislators
-- when scientists run studies only on male subjects because they assume women are the same
-- when rape kids go untouched because it's simply not a priority for police departments (mostly male)
-when you have no access to birth control because male legislators don't value it

I could go on and on. All of the above is part of our history and was part of our reality for hundreds/thousands of years. This is why women have fought to be in the workplace. So when SAHMs start talking about "who cares when women aren't part of the workforce," well that is just completely stupid.

I appreciate everything you said, but none of it would make it possible for me to put my 4-month-old in daycare. There is something primal/emotional in me that will not let someone else be my infant/toddler’s primary caregiver. It’s not guilt or worry - it’s just a deep desire to be with her. Do I think these are all good arguments to return to work when she’s like 5? yes. Also, remember that I vote for all the policies you suggested, even if I’m not currently working. And really, what is to stop someone from taking a couple years off from their medical practice, for ex, and then returning when her kids are in preschool? I mean, even Nancy Pelosi was a sahm for awhile....

Just from the tone of your post, I don't think you are a person that WOH moms would take issue with, as long as you don't judge them for not making the same choice. But you don't sound judgy to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never jump into these stupid debates and did not read the prior posts, but for this one I have to, because the OP betrays the total ignorance about history, women's rights, and the role of women in society.

It is not just about what you, Cindy Lou, decide to do with your career once you have kids. It's about the bigger picture, and the fact that when women are not able to, for various reasons, combine career with family, or when we collectively as a society start to spin a narrative that children are hurt when women work, then women feel pressured to drop out, or guilted into dropping out, or forced into it, and then women (and children) suffer the consequences, for example:

-when you have only male OB/GYNs who force you into c-sections and many other procedures because of a lack of understanding or care for what women face
-when there is less money given in the budget process of government to education, or protection for families, because men typically value these things less
-- when you get no paid maternity leave because CEOs are all men and so are the legislators
-- when scientists run studies only on male subjects because they assume women are the same
-- when rape kids go untouched because it's simply not a priority for police departments (mostly male)
-when you have no access to birth control because male legislators don't value it

I could go on and on. All of the above is part of our history and was part of our reality for hundreds/thousands of years. This is why women have fought to be in the workplace. So when SAHMs start talking about "who cares when women aren't part of the workforce," well that is just completely stupid.

Mic drop, girl. And this is the fundamental issue I have with SAHMs. They are so freaking selfish and narrow-minded. THIS IS WHAT THE WOMEN WHO CAME BEFORE US FOUGHT FOR. but they can’t see the societal consequences (which you so brilliantly outlined).

Eye roll. This feminist crap makes me ill.

That's because you are selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Of course you don’t. Because you only care about what makes your life easier. Not what is better for women overall, not what is better for our daughters’ generation, just what keeps your husband’s paycheck in the bank.

But... I’M a woman. Does what I want not count? But okay, let’s say I agree, I’ll go back to work immediately for “the greater good.” Do I have to go back full time, or can I be part time? Can I go back to work as a novelist and write during naps and after bed, or does my job have to be in an office? What if the job I want only pays $30k - is that alright, or do I have to match my husband’s salary? What if I go back to work and my husband stays home - is that allowed, or no? And can I ever take time off - what about maybe a year to hike the PCT? Or no, do I have to work straight through for 30 years? Actually, do I get to retire when I want, or do I have to work til you’ve decided I’ve put in enough time for the greater good? And if I have another baby, how much time can I take off? Do I have to do just 3 months, or can I pretend I’m in Canada and take a year - or Germany and take 3 years? Or should I go back at 6 weeks for the sake of “solidarity”?

Bravo

Brava!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never jump into these stupid debates and did not read the prior posts, but for this one I have to, because the OP betrays the total ignorance about history, women's rights, and the role of women in society.

It is not just about what you, Cindy Lou, decide to do with your career once you have kids. It's about the bigger picture, and the fact that when women are not able to, for various reasons, combine career with family, or when we collectively as a society start to spin a narrative that children are hurt when women work, then women feel pressured to drop out, or guilted into dropping out, or forced into it, and then women (and children) suffer the consequences, for example:

-when you have only male OB/GYNs who force you into c-sections and many other procedures because of a lack of understanding or care for what women face
-when there is less money given in the budget process of government to education, or protection for families, because men typically value these things less
-- when you get no paid maternity leave because CEOs are all men and so are the legislators
-- when scientists run studies only on male subjects because they assume women are the same
-- when rape kids go untouched because it's simply not a priority for police departments (mostly male)
-when you have no access to birth control because male legislators don't value it

I could go on and on. All of the above is part of our history and was part of our reality for hundreds/thousands of years. This is why women have fought to be in the workplace. So when SAHMs start talking about "who cares when women aren't part of the workforce," well that is just completely stupid.

Mic drop, girl. And this is the fundamental issue I have with SAHMs. They are so freaking selfish and narrow-minded. THIS IS WHAT THE WOMEN WHO CAME BEFORE US FOUGHT FOR. but they can’t see the societal consequences (which you so brilliantly outlined).

Eye roll. This feminist crap makes me ill.

That's because you are selfish.

Yep. I don't give a hoot about you or all women on Earth. It's true.

[Anonymous]

I really need to stop reading these threads. Nausea inducing. But to answer your question, I don't care if mom's stay at home. I do judge when a mom and dad both work a TON and make crazy amounts of money but have three nannies for their children who they never see. Plus, vacation sans children because they need to unwind. Either the mom or dad could have easily stayed home and lived incredibly comfortably. I think it's selfish way to raise kids. And the victims here are the kids themselves. I know at least six families like this in my circle and the kids just crave parental attention. Sure, the woman is helping raise all boats but her kids are drowning. Same can be said for the dad too.

[Anonymous]

What if one half of a lesbian couple chooses to stay home with the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if one half of a lesbian couple chooses to stay home with the kids?

I don’t know a lot of lesbian couples with kids, but every one that I do know has super traditional roles with one person staying at home with kids and one person acting as the breadwinner.
Maybe if you take all of the anxiety about gender roles and the patriarchy out of it and just do what makes sense for your family, this is it.

[Anonymous]

“Feminism” has come so far that women can’t even choose to stay home for 3 years to raise their kids full time. You know, because they feel a parental desire to and cause science has shown time and gain that the first three years of life are key.

This is why Trump was elected, people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Feminism” has come so far that women can’t even choose to stay home for 3 years to raise their kids full time. You know, because they feel a parental desire to and cause science has shown time and gain that the first three years of life are key.

This is why Trump was elected, people.

If info wars says it, its true.

Nobody cares if women SAH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Feminism” has come so far that women can’t even choose to stay home for 3 years to raise their kids full time. You know, because they feel a parental desire to and cause science has shown time and gain that the first three years of life are key.

This is why Trump was elected, people.

If info wars says it, its true.

Nobody cares if women SAH.

So only people on DCURM care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Feminism” has come so far that women can’t even choose to stay home for 3 years to raise their kids full time. You know, because they feel a parental desire to and cause science has shown time and gain that the first three years of life are key.

This is why Trump was elected, people.

If info wars says it, its true.

Nobody cares if women SAH.

Um, certainly seems like WOHM care about whether others choose to SAH... Have you read any of this 11 pg thread you’re in?

[Anonymous]

Why are the WOHMs so unhappy? You guys won and are emancipated. You are fulfilled, rich, healthy. Your kids are doing great. No need to justify yourself. You can easily opt out of this great debate that you have started. You feel free to applaud yourself, ok? Why do you want SAHMs to applaud you too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are the WOHMs so unhappy? You guys won and are emancipated. You are fulfilled, rich, healthy. Your kids are doing great. No need to justify yourself. You can easily opt out of this great debate that you have started. You feel free to applaud yourself, ok? Why do you want SAHMs to applaud you too?

I think because many ARE unhappy. Or at least quite stressed and frazzled.
Have you watched that SJP movie “I Don’t Know How She Does It?” The portrayal of SAHM (gross, vapid women who just work out all day and bake cookies) reminds me of DCURM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The women’s movement was about giving women opportunity and choices in life.

It was not about turning them into make worker bees.

There is nothing more pathetic than a SAHM arguing that the movement for women’s equality was so they could stay home and be dependent on a man. It is mind-boggling that anyone would make that argument. There are valid reasons to stay at home. Taking advantage of your feminist rights is not one of them.

Oh please do post a list of valid reasons to SAH, according to you.