Wife Goes Silent on Work Travel

[Anonymous]

You ARE BEING PLAYED !! WAKE UP!

[Anonymous]

You ARE BEING PLAYED !! WAKE UP!

[Anonymous]

You are being played!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

They always stay in Hiltons overseas. It's part of the contract. They all have wifi. They don't share rooms. I see zero reason why she can't spend 3 minutes at the end of the day saying hello, I'm safe, tell the kids I love them.

Reading the responses has me depressed. I just needed a gut check to see if my concerns were legit. I'm gonna have a long talk when she gets home.

Yup, Your gut is right. This is completely off. She should be able to facetime for 3 minutes.

You may consider holding off until you have more evidence. Because if she's affairing and gets suspicious she'll be more cautious. You might be better off putting a gps tracking thing in her luggage. Or a hidden recorder. What are they called? a voice activated recorder. I don't know how long they last, but if you could secret one into her purse or her luggage or laptop bag ... worth trying. Check her emails and her texting. Get some evidence before you accuse her.

Or, you know, talk to her. Since this is your wife and your marriage, not a stakeout. If I found out my husband had done all this to me, I'd divorce so fast his head would spin.

No you wouldn't. Plus, he's been trying to talk with her ... but she won't (4 texts over 2 weeks? C'mon.)

A text is not talking. Talking is using your vocal cords, tongue, and lips to form intelligible sounds. If you don't know the difference, I don't know what to say.

It's also amusing that you think I wouldn't divorce for a gross violation of privacy. If my husband doesn't trust me, I don't want to be with him. I don't need him, my salary is 4 times his. I'm with him because we have love, respect, and trust. The OP of this thread has none of these.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, no real issues with trust. As I mentioned we've never cheated and we are both attractive, fit, very social people- meaning we could if we wanted. In fact, if I weren't mistaken I'm about 95% sure our daughter's K teacher was picking up on me during the PTCs last week. Smiled constantly, never broke eye contact and touched me on the shoulder as I left.

The hang up is the travel with men and no mention of them. And I do know they socialize and drink as a group because one of her colleagues (35, male, single, ex military) just got fired after the last trip for being drunk twice, including once around the client. This is a big no-no with her employer.

I simply can't envision being single, drinking, in some far flung place with attractive women and not picking up on them.

Oh, god. You pathetic, insecure little man. No, Your wife isn’t cheating on you. And your child’s K teacher doesn’t want you. You’re getting older, aren’t you? And a bit insecure about whether or not you’re still sexually attractive? So you have to make up little stories to tell yourself about younger women wanting you, and you have to clamp down on your wife to ensure she doesn’t stray. She’s probably a bit younger and more attractive than you, which makes you nervous. Men like you are a dime a dozen, a cliche. Pleas keep your crisis of confidence to yourself, and don’t confront your wife, or make a pass at the teacher.

Uhhh, you OK?

You do know there are plenty of attractive men out there right?

Not OP but my kid's K teacher (about 10 years ago) was a cute early 30s single woman. My husband was 38 ten years ago. And yes, he's cute. In another universe they could have been a couple.

God, I get so tired of other women slamming normal guys as creeps or md life crisis losers just because they admit to being attractive. Do you seriously not work with any men you find cute? I'm not talking about having affairs I'm talking about recognizing that someone is attractive.

He may be attractive, but is delusional if he thinks lots of younger women are gagging for him. And his insecurity really dries up the ole vageen.

What thread are you reading? Did OP list his age? Did he list the age of the K teacher?

Why do you hate men? Do they ignore you?

Not at all. I have a husband and a boyfriend. Neither of them go about crowing about their good looks, or stew jealously about my potential illicit sexual activity when I’m on business trips.

So a cheating wh*re is trying to give someone else marital advice? This is rich!

If you read my further posts you will see that there's no cheating going on. Everything is out in the open.

Fine. Than make it "diseased whore"

lol.

Sorry, sweetie, all clean over here! Maybe you're talking about yourself?

[Anonymous]

A text is not talking. Talking is using your vocal cords, tongue, and lips to form intelligible sounds. If you don't know the difference, I don't know what to say.

It's also amusing that you think I wouldn't divorce for a gross violation of privacy. If my husband doesn't trust me, I don't want to be with him. I don't need him, my salary is 4 times his. I'm with him because we have love, respect, and trust. The OP of this thread has none of these.

that's right, a text is not talking. She does not talk to her husband while she travels 2 months of the year. Its fine if you want to divorce your husband for gross violation of privacy. But perhaps before that happened, he indicated that he wanted to hear from you while you traveled 2 weeks straight and you would make an effort to be in touch.

Love, respect and trust go both ways. It doesnt sound like OP's wife displays love or respect if she basically goes awol for 2 weeks at a time, 4 times a year. Now, if he has never indicated that this is an issue, maybe she is clueless. But she is making up all kinds of vague excuses, like poor wifi, tired, etc. At a certain point this seems to wear thin. Even if you are not doing anything but crashing fully clothed in your hotel room, if your spouse indicates that he/she/the kids would appreciate a phone call every few days, then you do it.

I feel like a lot of people are defending the wife, but if some wife came on here saying "my husband travels for weeks at a time, barely keeps in touch, refuses to call or facetime because of "thin walls" a lot of people would automatically assume he is cheating. I dont assume OPs wife is cheating, but I do assume she is ignoring her husband and not making what is a minimal effort to communicate. (and if there is some security reason that she cannot communicate, then she says so: I am in a place where I cannot make outgoing calls, etc. But she seems to have no problem forward emails so this is not lockdown).

[Anonymous]

Just get a PI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

They always stay in Hiltons overseas. It's part of the contract. They all have wifi. They don't share rooms. I see zero reason why she can't spend 3 minutes at the end of the day saying hello, I'm safe, tell the kids I love them.

Reading the responses has me depressed. I just needed a gut check to see if my concerns were legit. I'm gonna have a long talk when she gets home.

Yup, Your gut is right. This is completely off. She should be able to facetime for 3 minutes.

You may consider holding off until you have more evidence. Because if she's affairing and gets suspicious she'll be more cautious. You might be better off putting a gps tracking thing in her luggage. Or a hidden recorder. What are they called? a voice activated recorder. I don't know how long they last, but if you could secret one into her purse or her luggage or laptop bag ... worth trying. Check her emails and her texting. Get some evidence before you accuse her.

Or, you know, talk to her. Since this is your wife and your marriage, not a stakeout. If I found out my husband had done all this to me, I'd divorce so fast his head would spin.

No you wouldn't. Plus, he's been trying to talk with her ... but she won't (4 texts over 2 weeks? C'mon.)

A text is not talking. Talking is using your vocal cords, tongue, and lips to form intelligible sounds. If you don't know the difference, I don't know what to say.

It's also amusing that you think I wouldn't divorce for a gross violation of privacy. If my husband doesn't trust me, I don't want to be with him. I don't need him, my salary is 4 times his. I'm with him because we have love, respect, and trust. The OP of this thread has none of these.

He asked for facetime. To TALK.

[Anonymous]

Most of the exotic “Stans” are like 11 hours ahead. Is OP really looking to chit chat with his wife in the middle of her night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of the exotic “Stans” are like 11 hours ahead. Is OP really looking to chit chat with his wife in the middle of her night?

Try reading first before spewing.

[Anonymous]

You know what hotel she is in. Next time she is texting that she is back in the room but refusing to talk, call the hotel and ask for DW's room. They will ring it. If she asks why, tell her you wanted to hear her voice and you knew she wouldn't answer the cell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know what hotel she is in. Next time she is texting that she is back in the room but refusing to talk, call the hotel and ask for DW's room. They will ring it. If she asks why, tell her you wanted to hear her voice and you knew she wouldn't answer the cell.

Oooooh, that's a good one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of the exotic “Stans” are like 11 hours ahead. Is OP really looking to chit chat with his wife in the middle of her night?

Uhh, no. Say she finishes her day at 10pm. She can call him at 9am his time. Or, she starts her day at 6am and she can call him at 4pm his time.

Is this really that hard to get? Am I the only person here whose DH has been deployed? This is SOP for military spouses.

What OP's wife is doing is, imo, unacceptable. Especially since it appears they have a kid/kids. She's essentially on vacation while he's back manning the fort.

Do you expect military spouses to not hear from their spouse their entire deployment because they happen to be working and on the other side of the world?

How bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check her suitcase when she unpacks for usual items or unusual stains. Does she need sexy underwear for work?

Do this, OP. Every time my DH travels for 2 weeks I keep an eye on new items, smells, and other signs I won’t mention here.

It is sad that people live like this.

It is. I miss those years when I didn’t keep an eye on those things and was happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know what hotel she is in. Next time she is texting that she is back in the room but refusing to talk, call the hotel and ask for DW's room. They will ring it. If she asks why, tell her you wanted to hear her voice and you knew she wouldn't answer the cell.

This is a great plan. Can you do this tonight OP? Or is she radio silent again?