Girls being physically aggressive with boys in school - "you can't hit me back bc I'm a girl!"

[Anonymous]

The mom of 3 boys here who posted earlier this AM. I wasn't saying that it's a huge issue for my kids - it's not. Or that more violence is done by girls than boys -
It's not. Or that parents of girls would actively condone their daughters hitting anyone (boys or girls) - I'm sure many don't. It's just that it does happen that girls will hit/kick etc and I have active conversations with my boys that they should not hit back whereas judging from the comments on this thread parents of girls don't seem to be turning a bit of a blind eye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't actually a problem, OP.

Violence against women? Now, there's a problem.

Your boys will survive this.

NP. Assault and battery, as reported here, in the form of bullying hitting is always a problem and deeply troubling. Take it up the school chain of command to get it to stop.

Assault and battery? I feel so sorry for our children, who are never treated like children in their entire lives. When they get in a schoolyard brawl, they are accused of assault and battery. Have you no common sense, PP? These are kids. Get a grip on yourself.

Signed, mom of boys who are taught not to fight and so far, do not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only genuine answer to this question is, what would you fell like, and actually do, if your son came back after being subjected to violence from a girl. The rest is theoretical bs. I think that most moms of boys would put aside their political correctness and seek an end to the behavior. Schools have a responsibility to end this behavior.

Yes, of course, but the question is, how do you end the behavior? Not by hitting back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only genuine answer to this question is, what would you fell like, and actually do, if your son came back after being subjected to violence from a girl. The rest is theoretical bs. I think that most moms of boys would put aside their political correctness and seek an end to the behavior. Schools have a responsibility to end this behavior.

I'm a bit lost. Which part is the political correctness, that boys should never hit girls ever, or that girls shouldn't hit either? Or that the solution to a child at school getting hit by another child at school is not to hit them back? Maybe that's all political correctness to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some parents of girls find it amusing when their daughters are young and view them as a badass who won't take crap from anyone. It can become a bigger problem as they get older and perpetuates itself as the girl takes that persona in as part of her identity. Sometimes it seems "girl power" has gone too far.

Huge problem-must be why so many more girls than boys grow up to commit violent crime. Oh, wait...

People are saying that violence by both genders are wrong but teachers (and parents) such as you apparently don't take bullying and violence by girls seriously. It is a legit opinion. It's like how small dogs are more badly behaved than large dogs because they are so cute and never disciplined like large dogs are. And yes it is a problem if bullying takes place.

No, most of the people here are spewing anti-girl crap that is completely inappropriate. Call girls fat and ugly! Punch them! Girls are so mean! No, kids are so mean. But I guess you all are proving your point of girls growing up into terrible witches because most of you sure have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some parents of girls find it amusing when their daughters are young and view them as a badass who won't take crap from anyone. It can become a bigger problem as they get older and perpetuates itself as the girl takes that persona in as part of her identity. Sometimes it seems "girl power" has gone too far.

Huge problem-must be why so many more girls than boys grow up to commit violent crime. Oh, wait...

People are saying that violence by both genders are wrong but teachers (and parents) such as you apparently don't take bullying and violence by girls seriously. It is a legit opinion. It's like how small dogs are more badly behaved than large dogs because they are so cute and never disciplined like large dogs are. And yes it is a problem if bullying takes place.

No, most of the people here are spewing anti-girl crap that is completely inappropriate. Call girls fat and ugly! Punch them! Girls are so mean! No, kids are so mean. But I guess you all are proving your point of girls growing up into terrible witches because most of you sure have.

I don't agree with that kind of commentary at all, but I don't think people would be saying those kinds of things if they weren't hearing people defend and/or dismiss physically inappropriate actions by girls by saying things like: it's not a problem because as adults men are the abusers, boys are the problem, boys just need to deal with it, they'll survive, etc.

But yes, you are correct that if DCUM is any sampling, girls do grow up into terrible witches and their defense of poor behavior on the part of girls is very telling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have three sons and they have told me often that girls LOVE to use the "You can't hit me, I'm a girl" card.

My sons have come home with bruises on their shins from girls kicking them, on their arms from girls grabbing them and squeezing. They've seen girls throw balls at boys' faces, smack them in their faces, punch them in the stomach. We're talking about upper elementary school.

There are girls who go way overboard provoking boys verbally and physically to tempt them to retaliate. I don't know if the boys ever do, I know that mine never have, but I do know it's some bullshit.

Discuss.

Have you witnessed it first hand or are getting your 3 sons play on this? I volunteer twice a week at recess and have seen major rough housing going on between boys and sometimes boys and girls. I never see it with just girls - they use their words to hurt instead. The girls that want to play with the boys are usually excluded from activities such as soccer, basketball etc.. because "because they are a girl." I watched a group of boys excluding a girl into a game of soccer. The PA told them she was allowed to play so instead the boys made sure to trip her up everytime she was on the field. The one ran into her and knocked her down. She got up and pushed him. He went running to the PA to say that she on purposely pushed him and she was sent to the bench and they finished their all boys game.

So if you honestly think there are girls are recess punching boys and beating the crap out of them and the boys are doing nothing, you are probably wrong. Why don't you go check it out for yourself. Get involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three sons and they have told me often that girls LOVE to use the "You can't hit me, I'm a girl" card.

My sons have come home with bruises on their shins from girls kicking them, on their arms from girls grabbing them and squeezing. They've seen girls throw balls at boys' faces, smack them in their faces, punch them in the stomach. We're talking about upper elementary school.

There are girls who go way overboard provoking boys verbally and physically to tempt them to retaliate. I don't know if the boys ever do, I know that mine never have, but I do know it's some bullshit.

Discuss.

Have you witnessed it first hand or are getting your 3 sons play on this? I volunteer twice a week at recess and have seen major rough housing going on between boys and sometimes boys and girls. I never see it with just girls - they use their words to hurt instead. The girls that want to play with the boys are usually excluded from activities such as soccer, basketball etc.. because "because they are a girl." I watched a group of boys excluding a girl into a game of soccer. The PA told them she was allowed to play so instead the boys made sure to trip her up everytime she was on the field. The one ran into her and knocked her down. She got up and pushed him. He went running to the PA to say that she on purposely pushed him and she was sent to the bench and they finished their all boys game.

So if you honestly think there are girls are recess punching boys and beating the crap out of them and the boys are doing nothing, you are probably wrong. Why don't you go check it out for yourself. Get involved.

OP. I mentioned in subsequent posts that I had been involved. I was notified in one situation that the girl was talked to several times and then her parent was brought in to meet together with the principal and a guidance counselor about her targeting of my son. Another time I mentioned it to a teacher at a parent-teacher conference and she said she was aware and that the teachers were going to crack down on it.

Let me be clear. It's not like this is happening constantly. Over a period of many years of having boys in elementary school, it pops up from time to time each year. My sons are not crying about it or dwelling on it. They might mention it at the dinner table or in the car and it's more like they are surprised that some girls think it's okay when they are used to having it drilled that they are never to hit a girl and it's a given for all boys. They wonder why girls aren't taught the same and that teachers are more likely to overlook it. That's what I was looking to gather some insight into.

I'm sorry to hear of the situation you've described. That's unfortunate. My boys typically play sports at recess. The boys and girls play together regularly, and my boys enjoy it that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three sons and they have told me often that girls LOVE to use the "You can't hit me, I'm a girl" card.

My sons have come home with bruises on their shins from girls kicking them, on their arms from girls grabbing them and squeezing. They've seen girls throw balls at boys' faces, smack them in their faces, punch them in the stomach. We're talking about upper elementary school.

There are girls who go way overboard provoking boys verbally and physically to tempt them to retaliate. I don't know if the boys ever do, I know that mine never have, but I do know it's some bullshit.

Discuss.

Have you witnessed it first hand or are getting your 3 sons play on this? I volunteer twice a week at recess and have seen major rough housing going on between boys and sometimes boys and girls. I never see it with just girls - they use their words to hurt instead. The girls that want to play with the boys are usually excluded from activities such as soccer, basketball etc.. because "because they are a girl." I watched a group of boys excluding a girl into a game of soccer. The PA told them she was allowed to play so instead the boys made sure to trip her up everytime she was on the field. The one ran into her and knocked her down. She got up and pushed him. He went running to the PA to say that she on purposely pushed him and she was sent to the bench and they finished their all boys game.

So if you honestly think there are girls are recess punching boys and beating the crap out of them and the boys are doing nothing, you are probably wrong. Why don't you go check it out for yourself. Get involved.

OP. I mentioned in subsequent posts that I had been involved. I was notified in one situation that the girl was talked to several times and then her parent was brought in to meet together with the principal and a guidance counselor about her targeting of my son. Another time I mentioned it to a teacher at a parent-teacher conference and she said she was aware and that the teachers were going to crack down on it.

Let me be clear. It's not like this is happening constantly. Over a period of many years of having boys in elementary school, it pops up from time to time each year. My sons are not crying about it or dwelling on it. They might mention it at the dinner table or in the car and it's more like they are surprised that some girls think it's okay when they are used to having it drilled that they are never to hit a girl and it's a given for all boys. They wonder why girls aren't taught the same and that teachers are more likely to overlook it. That's what I was looking to gather some insight into.

I'm sorry to hear of the situation you've described. That's unfortunate. My boys typically play sports at recess. The boys and girls play together regularly, and my boys enjoy it that way.

I think there are bullies of both genders. I think girl bullies that bully on girls will quickly escalate into the girls telling the teacher right away. Girl bullies then target boys because they are more likely to not go to the teacher. Bullies of both sexes usually have issues at home and major self esteem issues. Bullying is a release for them. They pick the targets that are bothered by the abuse but still allow the abuse. Teach your sons to ignore the situation and then talk to someone beside you, immediately after an incident. If he is embarrassed, have him talk to the teacher separately later in the day. But if it comes from him in a calming matter, I think the staff would do more than if it comes from you. And sadly these days, the schools are so over crowded that recess, lunch and even the classroom aren't really well supervised.

[Anonymous]

Really surprised by the responses from the mom's of girls. I grew up with a brother and if you hit, you get hit back. I was always surprised by my female friends who thought it was okay to bitch slap guys and then cried bloody murder if they got pushed as a result. As a mom of boy's, I tell them if someone hits you, hit them back. When they get bigger I will rephrase, but not in early elementary. Oh, and my son got his arms scratched by a girl for an argument over who should be first in line and nothing happened to the girl who left marks on him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't actually a problem, OP.

Violence against women? Now, there's a problem.

Your boys will survive this.

NP. Assault and battery, as reported here, in the form of bullying hitting is always a problem and deeply troubling. Take it up the school chain of command to get it to stop.

Assault and battery? I feel so sorry for our children, who are never treated like children in their entire lives. When they get in a schoolyard brawl, they are accused of assault and battery. Have you no common sense, PP? These are kids. Get a grip on yourself.

Signed, mom of boys who are taught not to fight and so far, do not

I hate if it has to come down to that but if my child is bullied, be it boy or girl, and no one is doing anything bout it the teachers, the parents of he bully (in this case due to gender stereotypes), to protect my child yes I will go nuclear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three sons and they have told me often that girls LOVE to use the "You can't hit me, I'm a girl" card.

My sons have come home with bruises on their shins from girls kicking them, on their arms from girls grabbing them and squeezing. They've seen girls throw balls at boys' faces, smack them in their faces, punch them in the stomach. We're talking about upper elementary school.

There are girls who go way overboard provoking boys verbally and physically to tempt them to retaliate. I don't know if the boys ever do, I know that mine never have, but I do know it's some bullshit.

Discuss.

Have you witnessed it first hand or are getting your 3 sons play on this? I volunteer twice a week at recess and have seen major rough housing going on between boys and sometimes boys and girls. I never see it with just girls - they use their words to hurt instead. The girls that want to play with the boys are usually excluded from activities such as soccer, basketball etc.. because "because they are a girl." I watched a group of boys excluding a girl into a game of soccer. The PA told them she was allowed to play so instead the boys made sure to trip her up everytime she was on the field. The one ran into her and knocked her down. She got up and pushed him. He went running to the PA to say that she on purposely pushed him and she was sent to the bench and they finished their all boys game.

So if you honestly think there are girls are recess punching boys and beating the crap out of them and the boys are doing nothing, you are probably wrong. Why don't you go check it out for yourself. Get involved.

I have also been on the recess and the worst thing you can do to a girl is not notice her. It is true the boys play ball and it can get rough. The girls want to play (just because boys are on the radar not because they like basketball) but they cry to the moderator when they fall down or get hit with the ball, which makes the boys not want to play with the girls. boys at this age are generally oblivious about the boys dating girls thing.

There is always a group of boys that are not playing sports, but guess what, girls like the other boys, no surprise there.

Boys are not purposely pushing girls down because they don't want to play with girls, there are plenty of girls that can play with the boys with out crying wolf.

To the dad that ask if the boys provoke the girls... yes, they ignore them... it is literally the worst thing you can do to a girl. Then they act out to get attention. It is sad that some teachers/moderators are always blaming the boys. If you can handle kids you should not be a moderator. If the girl is crying every time she plays ball with the boys, you can't just blame the boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three sons and they have told me often that girls LOVE to use the "You can't hit me, I'm a girl" card.

My sons have come home with bruises on their shins from girls kicking them, on their arms from girls grabbing them and squeezing. They've seen girls throw balls at boys' faces, smack them in their faces, punch them in the stomach. We're talking about upper elementary school.

There are girls who go way overboard provoking boys verbally and physically to tempt them to retaliate. I don't know if the boys ever do, I know that mine never have, but I do know it's some bullshit.

Discuss.

Have you witnessed it first hand or are getting your 3 sons play on this? I volunteer twice a week at recess and have seen major rough housing going on between boys and sometimes boys and girls. I never see it with just girls - they use their words to hurt instead. The girls that want to play with the boys are usually excluded from activities such as soccer, basketball etc.. because "because they are a girl." I watched a group of boys excluding a girl into a game of soccer. The PA told them she was allowed to play so instead the boys made sure to trip her up everytime she was on the field. The one ran into her and knocked her down. She got up and pushed him. He went running to the PA to say that she on purposely pushed him and she was sent to the bench and they finished their all boys game.

So if you honestly think there are girls are recess punching boys and beating the crap out of them and the boys are doing nothing, you are probably wrong. Why don't you go check it out for yourself. Get involved.

I have also been on the recess and the worst thing you can do to a girl is not notice her. It is true the boys play ball and it can get rough. The girls want to play (just because boys are on the radar not because they like basketball) but they cry to the moderator when they fall down or get hit with the ball, which makes the boys not want to play with the girls. boys at this age are generally oblivious about the boys dating girls thing.

There is always a group of boys that are not playing sports, but guess what, girls like the other boys, no surprise there.

Boys are not purposely pushing girls down because they don't want to play with girls, there are plenty of girls that can play with the boys with out crying wolf.

To the dad that ask if the boys provoke the girls... yes, they ignore them... it is literally the worst thing you can do to a girl. Then they act out to get attention. It is sad that some teachers/moderators are always blaming the boys. If you can handle kids you should not be a moderator. If the girl is crying every time she plays ball with the boys, you can't just blame the boys.

And just think, pp-Somewhere out there one of those little pigtail wearing hussies is your future DIL. You guys will get along great I'm sure!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three sons and they have told me often that girls LOVE to use the "You can't hit me, I'm a girl" card.

My sons have come home with bruises on their shins from girls kicking them, on their arms from girls grabbing them and squeezing. They've seen girls throw balls at boys' faces, smack them in their faces, punch them in the stomach. We're talking about upper elementary school.

There are girls who go way overboard provoking boys verbally and physically to tempt them to retaliate. I don't know if the boys ever do, I know that mine never have, but I do know it's some bullshit.

Discuss.

Have you witnessed it first hand or are getting your 3 sons play on this? I volunteer twice a week at recess and have seen major rough housing going on between boys and sometimes boys and girls. I never see it with just girls - they use their words to hurt instead. The girls that want to play with the boys are usually excluded from activities such as soccer, basketball etc.. because "because they are a girl." I watched a group of boys excluding a girl into a game of soccer. The PA told them she was allowed to play so instead the boys made sure to trip her up everytime she was on the field. The one ran into her and knocked her down. She got up and pushed him. He went running to the PA to say that she on purposely pushed him and she was sent to the bench and they finished their all boys game.

So if you honestly think there are girls are recess punching boys and beating the crap out of them and the boys are doing nothing, you are probably wrong. Why don't you go check it out for yourself. Get involved.

I have also been on the recess and the worst thing you can do to a girl is not notice her. It is true the boys play ball and it can get rough. The girls want to play (just because boys are on the radar not because they like basketball) but they cry to the moderator when they fall down or get hit with the ball, which makes the boys not want to play with the girls. boys at this age are generally oblivious about the boys dating girls thing.

There is always a group of boys that are not playing sports, but guess what, girls like the other boys, no surprise there.

Boys are not purposely pushing girls down because they don't want to play with girls, there are plenty of girls that can play with the boys with out crying wolf.

To the dad that ask if the boys provoke the girls... yes, they ignore them... it is literally the worst thing you can do to a girl. Then they act out to get attention. It is sad that some teachers/moderators are always blaming the boys. If you can handle kids you should not be a moderator. If the girl is crying every time she plays ball with the boys, you can't just blame the boys.

And just think, pp-Somewhere out there one of those little pigtail wearing hussies is your future DIL. You guys will get along great I'm sure!

Sarcasm does not really add to the conversation here. No one is condemning girls. They are just saying both genders should not be violent, and due to stereotypes some little girls get away with bad behavior (mother of a girl here).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three sons and they have told me often that girls LOVE to use the "You can't hit me, I'm a girl" card.

My sons have come home with bruises on their shins from girls kicking them, on their arms from girls grabbing them and squeezing. They've seen girls throw balls at boys' faces, smack them in their faces, punch them in the stomach. We're talking about upper elementary school.

There are girls who go way overboard provoking boys verbally and physically to tempt them to retaliate. I don't know if the boys ever do, I know that mine never have, but I do know it's some bullshit.

Discuss.

Have you witnessed it first hand or are getting your 3 sons play on this? I volunteer twice a week at recess and have seen major rough housing going on between boys and sometimes boys and girls. I never see it with just girls - they use their words to hurt instead. The girls that want to play with the boys are usually excluded from activities such as soccer, basketball etc.. because "because they are a girl." I watched a group of boys excluding a girl into a game of soccer. The PA told them she was allowed to play so instead the boys made sure to trip her up everytime she was on the field. The one ran into her and knocked her down. She got up and pushed him. He went running to the PA to say that she on purposely pushed him and she was sent to the bench and they finished their all boys game.

So if you honestly think there are girls are recess punching boys and beating the crap out of them and the boys are doing nothing, you are probably wrong. Why don't you go check it out for yourself. Get involved.

I have also been on the recess and the worst thing you can do to a girl is not notice her. It is true the boys play ball and it can get rough. The girls want to play (just because boys are on the radar not because they like basketball) but they cry to the moderator when they fall down or get hit with the ball, which makes the boys not want to play with the girls. boys at this age are generally oblivious about the boys dating girls thing.

There is always a group of boys that are not playing sports, but guess what, girls like the other boys, no surprise there.

Boys are not purposely pushing girls down because they don't want to play with girls, there are plenty of girls that can play with the boys with out crying wolf.

To the dad that ask if the boys provoke the girls... yes, they ignore them... it is literally the worst thing you can do to a girl. Then they act out to get attention. It is sad that some teachers/moderators are always blaming the boys. If you can handle kids you should not be a moderator. If the girl is crying every time she plays ball with the boys, you can't just blame the boys.

And just think, pp-Somewhere out there one of those little pigtail wearing hussies is your future DIL. You guys will get along great I'm sure!

Sarcasm does not really add to the conversation here. No one is condemning girls. They are just saying both genders should not be violent, and due to stereotypes some little girls get away with bad behavior (mother of a girl here).

Yes, many ARE condemning girls (very explicitly) as a group in a way that would (rightfully) seem bigoted if applied to a religious or ethnic group. -mom of boys and girls