Did a 180 and decided to redshirt my child- question for parents who decided to do the same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have to make the best decision for you and your family.

I have a child with a July 22 birthday who entered kindergarten last fall shortly after she turned 5 and honestly, at this point I wish we would have held her back. 6-8 kids in her class were 11-14 months older than her. She passed all the kindergarten benchmarks, is reading at a level C but she is also at the bottom of her class.

+1. August 1 boy sent on time. He's okay but always sad about being smallest/slowest/etc...I tell him not to compare, but it doesn't help much. Next year, he's doing a transitional year before 1st. I think he'll be much happier in the middle of the pack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to make the best decision for you and your family.

I have a child with a July 22 birthday who entered kindergarten last fall shortly after she turned 5 and honestly, at this point I wish we would have held her back. 6-8 kids in her class were 11-14 months older than her. She passed all the kindergarten benchmarks, is reading at a level C but she is also at the bottom of her class.

Your problem is people like OP. Your July child should not be in a kindergarten with kids 11-14 months older. That is insane.

Parenting has gone off the rails.

My kid has a late September birthday. The cutoff date for MCPS is September 1. Yes, my son will be 11ish months older than some of the kids in his class. Nothing to do with parenting.

[Anonymous]

When I hear about situations like these I don't make assumptions about the kids- they are powerless in these situations. I make a hell of a lot of assumptions about the parents- that they are the helicopter type or else the super competitive type who wants their kid to be the biggest/smartest/fastest kid in their elementary school class/get sports or academic scholarships etched. Instead they usually end up with kids who are bored in class and often underperform as a result. Because theyay have a big size advantage they aren't challenged athletically and can rely on size vs skill and also ultimately are average once their more skilled peers catch up to them in size. I see it backfire more than help a child.

Red shirting for no reason is stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I hear about situations like these I don't make assumptions about the kids- they are powerless in these situations. I make a hell of a lot of assumptions about the parents- that they are the helicopter type or else the super competitive type who wants their kid to be the biggest/smartest/fastest kid in their elementary school class/get sports or academic scholarships etched. Instead they usually end up with kids who are bored in class and often underperform as a result. Because theyay have a big size advantage they aren't challenged athletically and can rely on size vs skill and also ultimately are average once their more skilled peers catch up to them in size. I see it backfire more than help a child.

Red shirting for no reason is stupid.

Too many people (mostly moms) believe that if they just do X, Y, and Z, their kids will turn out OK, or at least they are too scared NOT to do X, Y, or Z, just in case. (It starts at birth and generally seems to end by middle school--at that point every parent has enough experience to admit that you can't control everything, and that at some point you need to make reasonable decisions and see how things play out.) Pro-redshirt posters always say "what's the harm?" -- and since it's hard to articulate the downside to redshirting, since it's basically maintaining the status quo for your kid, and you can imagine a lot of downsides to sending your kid off to school, since that is new and therefore an unknown -- people err on the side of what they know and are comfortable with, thinking that the safest choice = the best choice. Except there's not really any reason to think that's true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I hear about situations like these I don't make assumptions about the kids- they are powerless in these situations. I make a hell of a lot of assumptions about the parents- that they are the helicopter type or else the super competitive type who wants their kid to be the biggest/smartest/fastest kid in their elementary school class/get sports or academic scholarships etched. Instead they usually end up with kids who are bored in class and often underperform as a result. Because theyay have a big size advantage they aren't challenged athletically and can rely on size vs skill and also ultimately are average once their more skilled peers catch up to them in size. I see it backfire more than help a child.

Red shirting for no reason is stupid.

Too many people (mostly moms) believe that if they just do X, Y, and Z, their kids will turn out OK, or at least they are too scared NOT to do X, Y, or Z, just in case. (It starts at birth and generally seems to end by middle school--at that point every parent has enough experience to admit that you can't control everything, and that at some point you need to make reasonable decisions and see how things play out.) Pro-redshirt posters always say "what's the harm?" -- and since it's hard to articulate the downside to redshirting, since it's basically maintaining the status quo for your kid, and you can imagine a lot of downsides to sending your kid off to school, since that is new and therefore an unknown -- people err on the side of what they know and are comfortable with, thinking that the safest choice = the best choice. Except there's not really any reason to think that's true.

This is a very good observation, and I feel like the tendency is amplified by the DC environment but also by the shrinking middle class.

As for your last sentence, there's actually reason to think it's better to be younger: http://www.newyorker.com/tech/elements/youngest-kid-smartest-kid

[Anonymous]

Redshirting should be illegal and heavy fines for parents who do this. It is hard on teachers and younger children. You just want your kid to be the smartest in the class. If he can't excel with his own age group, he isn't smarter because he is a year or two older than the other kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I hear about situations like these I don't make assumptions about the kids- they are powerless in these situations. I make a hell of a lot of assumptions about the parents- that they are the helicopter type or else the super competitive type who wants their kid to be the biggest/smartest/fastest kid in their elementary school class/get sports or academic scholarships etched. Instead they usually end up with kids who are bored in class and often underperform as a result. Because theyay have a big size advantage they aren't challenged athletically and can rely on size vs skill and also ultimately are average once their more skilled peers catch up to them in size. I see it backfire more than help a child.

Red shirting for no reason is stupid.

Too many people (mostly moms) believe that if they just do X, Y, and Z, their kids will turn out OK, or at least they are too scared NOT to do X, Y, or Z, just in case. (It starts at birth and generally seems to end by middle school--at that point every parent has enough experience to admit that you can't control everything, and that at some point you need to make reasonable decisions and see how things play out.) Pro-redshirt posters always say "what's the harm?" -- and since it's hard to articulate the downside to redshirting, since it's basically maintaining the status quo for your kid, and you can imagine a lot of downsides to sending your kid off to school, since that is new and therefore an unknown -- people err on the side of what they know and are comfortable with, thinking that the safest choice = the best choice. Except there's not really any reason to think that's true.

It must feel good to second guess other parent's decision making and decide you know better. Might want to question why you feel this is necessary.

[Anonymous]

If you live in Fairfax County and are at all interested in AAP, send on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, but I think your reasoning is just crazy. You don't seem to mention any real justification for redshirting your may birthday. I started school at 5 with an August birthday, my brother started school at 4 with a late November birthday. We both did fine.

When does this end? If everyone with May/June/July/August birthdays decide to redshirt will then all the April birthdays redshirt? Why should they go to school with kids more than a year older than them? Then what will the March kids do? Do you see the problem? I think the counties/state need to step up and put in some requirements for when a child starts K.

I think at some point, OP, your child will be embarrassed to be more than a year older than other kids in class. Everyone knows it is common with early fall birthdays, but when your kid turns 15 in eight grade than all the other kids will notice.

He would turn 15 at the end of the school year, a few months before other fall birthday kids heading into 9th grade turn 15.

In any given class, you will have a student who is a year older than the youngest, even without redshirting. There are 12 months in a year - someone born on the very last day before cutoff and someone born the day after cutoff will be 12 months apart. Is adding in a few extra months to that span really a disaster?

Yes it is. Because 12 months is one thing, but it starts to become awkward and unfair to those who are youngest and otherwise ready for K, to be in class with kids 16 months older. Then those with August and July birthdays feel compelled to hold back because of this slippery slope. So then everyone ends up holding back, and so on it goes.

In grade school I had a friend who was nearly a whole year older than me. It never was a big deal. I don't think I thought about it once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to make the best decision for you and your family.

I have a child with a July 22 birthday who entered kindergarten last fall shortly after she turned 5 and honestly, at this point I wish we would have held her back. 6-8 kids in her class were 11-14 months older than her. She passed all the kindergarten benchmarks, is reading at a level C but she is also at the bottom of her class.

Your problem is people like OP. Your July child should not be in a kindergarten with kids 11-14 months older. That is insane.

Parenting has gone off the rails.

My kid has a late September birthday. The cutoff date for MCPS is September 1. Yes, my son will be 11ish months older than some of the kids in his class. Nothing to do with parenting.

This is not redshirting. Stop being so sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I hear about situations like these I don't make assumptions about the kids- they are powerless in these situations. I make a hell of a lot of assumptions about the parents- that they are the helicopter type or else the super competitive type who wants their kid to be the biggest/smartest/fastest kid in their elementary school class/get sports or academic scholarships etched. Instead they usually end up with kids who are bored in class and often underperform as a result. Because theyay have a big size advantage they aren't challenged athletically and can rely on size vs skill and also ultimately are average once their more skilled peers catch up to them in size. I see it backfire more than help a child.

Red shirting for no reason is stupid.

Too many people (mostly moms) believe that if they just do X, Y, and Z, their kids will turn out OK, or at least they are too scared NOT to do X, Y, or Z, just in case. (It starts at birth and generally seems to end by middle school--at that point every parent has enough experience to admit that you can't control everything, and that at some point you need to make reasonable decisions and see how things play out.) Pro-redshirt posters always say "what's the harm?" -- and since it's hard to articulate the downside to redshirting, since it's basically maintaining the status quo for your kid, and you can imagine a lot of downsides to sending your kid off to school, since that is new and therefore an unknown -- people err on the side of what they know and are comfortable with, thinking that the safest choice = the best choice. Except there's not really any reason to think that's true.

It must feel good to second guess other parent's decision making and decide you know better. Might want to question why you feel this is necessary.

Well, I work in policy, and every day I see the consequences of the cumulative decisions millions of people make, against the evidence or even common sense, because they believe their situation is special and, hey, it's a free country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't the school's just stop this and say there is a cutoff. Your child will enter with the correct class uses there is a special need? Am I missing something?

That in Virginia at least, there is a state law giving parents the right to redshirt for one full year. It ma

[Anonymous]

I have an early September baby and the cutoff is Sept. 30. He's not even near kindergarten, but I'm redshirting 100%. I can afford childcare and there's no reason for my child to be the smallest in their class. Plus, an extra year of childhood. If you want to start your 4-year-old in kindergarten I don't care, but many of us make a different choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to make the best decision for you and your family.

I have a child with a July 22 birthday who entered kindergarten last fall shortly after she turned 5 and honestly, at this point I wish we would have held her back. 6-8 kids in her class were 11-14 months older than her. She passed all the kindergarten benchmarks, is reading at a level C but she is also at the bottom of her class.

Your problem is people like OP. Your July child should not be in a kindergarten with kids 11-14 months older. That is insane.

Parenting has gone off the rails.

My kid has a late September birthday. The cutoff date for MCPS is September 1. Yes, my son will be 11ish months older than some of the kids in his class. Nothing to do with parenting.

Your child is going on time. Naturally Sept birthdays will be the oldest in the class. The PP's child was born in July. 11-14 months older than a child in July means they are older than they should be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an early September baby and the cutoff is Sept. 30. He's not even near kindergarten, but I'm redshirting 100%. I can afford childcare and there's no reason for my child to be the smallest in their class. Plus, an extra year of childhood. If you want to start your 4-year-old in kindergarten I don't care, but many of us make a different choice.

Your situation and OP's are completely different.