Don't Let a Guy Waste Your Most Eligible Years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if it's illegal for her to propose.

This will never happen because it makes women responsible for themselves, which we all know is the LAST thing they want.

BS. I know a few women who proposed, one in a VERY public way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post reflects some fucked up notions about a woman's value. As if physical beauty is the beginning and end of what she has to offer. As if it's a good idea for her to "lock in" a life time with a guy who wouldn't want to be with her if she met him in her 30s. As if it's illegal for her to propose.

Date someone who is kind to you. If you love them, marry them. If they don't want to get married & you do, move on to someone else who is kind to you. Repeat as necessary.

x 1000

A lot of women don't even want to get married anymore (Google the millennials take on it). You don't need a husband to have a baby anymore either.

Anyone who thinks it would be fine for a woman to have a baby on her own, and not try hard to be able to do it with a partner instead, cannot possibly be a parent. Do you have any idea of the sleepless nights, the trying to hang on for a few minutes more for your partner to get home so you can hand off the baby because you are at your wit's end? Do you know how many diapers need to be changed (around 8 per day), the teeth that will need to brushed twice a day, the meals prepared, drop offs, pickups, paperwork, doctor visits. Do you know that day care usually costs around $1,500 per month, and that two-parent families struggle with the schedule, and one may go into work at 5:00 a.m. and leave work at 3:00 p.m., so the other parent can drop off at 9:00, and work until 7:30 p.m., so the child isn't warehoused in day care 12 hours per day and develop behavioral problems? Do you know you will not be able to make one move without bringing the baby or child along or making advance arrangements for a sitter at probably $15 per hour? Even what would have been a quick stop at the grocery store will involve getting the child in and out of a car seat, wrestling him or her into the shopping cart (if cooperative), saying no to a dozen pleadings and possibly dealing with a melt-down while everyone stares and you and is probably thinking what a terrible parent you are, leaving the grocery cart in the aisle while you make an unexpected terrifying dash for the restroom with a child who stubbornly insisted that he or she did not have to go (or you are unexpectedly changing a poopy diaper at Safeway or your preferred grocery store). Nothing will be quick, easy, or simple again for YEARS. Don't do this on your own unless you have absolutely no other option. I think it may be better not to do it at all than to do it alone.

As happy but exhausted parent of a one year old, you are 100% right. I cannot imagine doing this alone. I have had my baby all day (while struggling to work from home) because our nanny flaked out. Right now, I am waiting for DH to get home so that I can hand off my beautiful boy and finally be able to take a shower and eat something! I also need to do some real work because between poopy diapers, meltdowns, and my son wanting to be held/played with/rocked to sleep, I have gotten zero work done all day. I do not even know what I would do if there was no DH coming home and it was just me and I did that to myself by choosing to be single mom.

[Anonymous]

Seriously... marriage isn't what it is cracked up to be for women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:isn't it sort of funny that there's still this societal pressure to find a guy so you can have kids when these days, due to medical advances, you don't actually NEED a guy? but a guy actually CANNOT have a kid without a woman. most guys aren't freaking out about not finding "the one" to start a family. and while you can argue there's a time component for women, it's not like guys want to be chasing after a toddler in their fifties.

It often isn't as important to men as it is to women to have children. They could take it or leave it. Though there are some exceptions on either side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the women who are upset at the assertion that attractiveness diminishes with age, what's your take on it exactly? The first thing that attracts a man is a woman's physical appearance. An attractive woman literally melts a man's brains. Now this doesn't last but USA strong reason for a man to attach himself to a woman. Once women lose their looks, how do they hook men?
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-interacting-with-woman-leave-man-cognitively-impaired/

You can still be attractive in your thirties! That's my objection. Most people I know wait until their thirties to get married anyway.

[Anonymous]

I think it's important for couples to live together for awhile before they have kids. Getting married then immediately having kids is too much at once. You never really establish your rhythm and identity as a couple before you have to deal with being a family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The problem with the thinking of these "girls" (and I know, because I was exactly like this 20 or so years ago), is that -- while they are doing all of the aforementioned travel, partying, changing careers, dating lots of different guys and much etc throughout their twenties and early thirties -- they are also squandering away the truly best, last years of their lives to be husband-hunting.

And -- of this I am certain -- they will wake up one day at about 34/35 and wonder WTH happened. All of a sudden, great men (read: husband prospects) are not appearing out of no where to be summarily dated and then tossed aside for the next great guy that comes along. All of a sudden, many or most of their friends are settled down with families. They will notice all the hot young things snipping at their heels on the career climb. The men they do meet who have not been married have "issues;" the ones who are divorced have children and baggage ex-wives.

It's no longer "fun."

This is what OP is stating. You don't control the timetable as much as you want to think you do.

Very true in my experience. I'm a male late 30's, so most of my friends are around the same age. It was pretty much that story for most of the men and women in my group. The difference, is, when a guy hits 35 and decides he wants to settle down, there's no clock ticking, so he may be less likely to make desperate moves. Not so for women of course. I have a friend right now facing this dilemma. She's 35 and has been with her boyfriend for 2-3 years now, and she's ready to have a family. He's started a new startup company so I think he's hesitant to move forward until his financial/career situation is more secure. That's got to be a tough decision for her -- does she take the risk and stay with him, while her clock is ticking away... or does she break up with him, then hope to find another true love, settle down, and procreate all within the span of a few short years? If she was 10 years younger and in the same situation, it would be a lot easier decision because time would be on her side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if it's illegal for her to propose.

This will never happen because it makes women responsible for themselves, which we all know is the LAST thing they want.

BS. I know a few women who proposed, one in a VERY public way.

My DW proposed to me. Of course it was Feb. 29.

[Anonymous]

OP what made your write this?

[Anonymous]

Cute story. Made me smile.

[Anonymous]

Op did you write this for your husband's girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
By the way, there are tons of women who look prettier as they age. I.e., Jennifer Lopez, Beyonce, Jessica Simpson to name a few.

Wrong and you are absolutely wrong with your three examples. They may look attractive for their ages, but they aren't "looking prettier as they age."

Their main job in life is to look good and so they have access to trainers, dieticians, surgeons, etc., that we can only dream of having.

Now of course there's many examples of women in their late 30s and early 40s who look 5-10 years younger but that is genetics.

Sofia vergara is in her mid to late 40's and already made an embyro with he ex boyfriend! she's one of those looking great as she ages. Great body. Another is the girl from house of cards robin wright who was in forrest gump when she was a girl with long hair but look at her now in house of cards! She's gorgeous with that short haircut beautiful mature skin and great body.

[Anonymous]

and another is isabella rosellini and the woman from queen margot who is touching 70 but looks 30!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post reflects some fucked up notions about a woman's value. As if physical beauty is the beginning and end of what she has to offer. As if it's a good idea for her to "lock in" a life time with a guy who wouldn't want to be with her if she met him in her 30s. As if it's illegal for her to propose.

Date someone who is kind to you. If you love them, marry them. If they don't want to get married & you do, move on to someone else who is kind to you. Repeat as necessary.

The physical beauty is tied directly to fertility. Fertility is the true and perishable asset you have to focus on. We are like people who are born rich and don't understand the nature of our wealth maybe until it is too late and losers and hangers on have 'helped' us waste our asset. But with smart management and focus you can have great happiness and bring wonderful kids into the world, something only we can do. So it is a responsibility too. Those wonderful kids can't get born until we quit wasting our time and set the agenda.

Ugly 39-year-olds may be more fertile than a pretty 20-year-old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what do you do if you're 28 and your bf of 2 years promises to get married but hadn't done anything to prove its going to be a reality?

Say, "Since you don't seem to be ready to get married, I'd like to start dating other people." His response will tell you what you need to know.

NP here. This is what I did to my then bf when I was 27 years old. He proposed to be a few months later and we are now happily married with 2 kids.

I actually meant it and it was not a bluff. I was going out a lot, meeting new interesting and cute men.