He says he's old-fashioned, but keeps letting me set up dates, and pay
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Anonymous
| This thread fascinates me. Any updates OP? |
Anonymous
Yeppers. Cheap, cheap, cheap. |
Anonymous
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We need an update, OP!
Has he contacted you again? If so, are you going out? |
Anonymous
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OP here with the requested update. He messaged me Tuesday morning, no mention of going out that night (or any other) just a "hey, how are you" type of message. I think he knew it was going sideways too.
I thought about it for awhile to be sure of my decision (like I have noted I'm wont to do) and I'm not going out with him again. I still don't think he's married, or a bad guy, but really, he's not for me. I like a man with some couth, and while that didn't and still doesn't mean he has to pay all the time, all the awkwardness with him was well, too awkward for me. It wasn't just about the money and the lack of a phone number - there were a few other things I noticed that I wasn't crazy about over the course of the dates, and way he dealt with the money situation was problematic. There were other ways to achieve the same outcome (us splitting the bill) without doing the things he did. The posters who raised the question of what would have happened on the second date had I assumed he paid, and not followed him from the table with the bill had excellent points. We could have been in a dine-and-dash situation. That's horrible, and humiliating, but the next most unpleasant one would have been him turning around and confronting me with "what, you thought I paid the bill?" or something like that. That he allowed the bill to sit on the table for 20+ minutes on the third date before I reached for it convinced me that he was absolutely adamant NEVER to put his card out first lest I think he was paying for me. I always offer to pay my share, whether a man takes me up on it or not, and the fact that he didn't believe that I would irks me. If he felt strongly about splitting, he should have just put out enough cash for his share allowing me to clearly see that I was to pay for my own, or actually had a conversation about it like a 36 year old adult - "hey, I'll get this one" - implying that the next time's on me. Thanks everyone for taking the time to read & weigh in - since I'm still single, you're likely to see more posts from me about future dates - the outside perspective can be really helpful. |
Anonymous
| So glad you reached that conclusion OP! Best of luck to you in the future. |
Anonymous
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Yay!! So happy for you that you have dumped this loser- we, I mean "guy"!
Now, if you really want to be a good dcumer and repay us for our advice you will send him the link to this thread! Hopefully he will come in and start arguing- now that would be fun! 
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Anonymous
| ^we= oops |
Anonymous
| Guy here. There's a reason he's still single! What s loser. I always pay or offer to pay. If a date is adamant sbout paying I will step back out of respect, but I always attempt to pay and get it out of the way discreetly. I think this is a sign the guy has bad breeding. |
Anonymous
It wasn't just that but the ridiculous lengths he went to to NOT pay. Immature and dickish. Good call OP. |
Anonymous
| Good call OP. There is nothing worse than a cheap man. Nothing. |
Anonymous
 Great job OP! You just spared your future children from having to reimburse their father for college. Now go find your future kiddos someone not so...odd. 
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Anonymous
It's really insulting that you assume she wants kids. |
Anonymous
Ja! Guten Appetit |
Anonymous
| I like you very much, OP! Good luck in the future! |
Anonymous
OP here - these two made me laugh. I actually dated a German guy for awhile, and he was much more generous/less weird about money than this dude. |