Vent. I'm a slave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do women keep reproducing with these loser men?

As I believe a PP said, many men don't show their true colors until they have kids. My husband turned into a complete ass after we had our baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So basically you want him to do 100% of his job AND 50% of your job as well. And you seriously think this is fair and reasonable. Get over yourself already and DO YOUR JOB.

+1

sorry dear, you signed up for it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The title should be: "I'm a Doormat". You are not a slave. Slavery is involuntary. Being a doormat is a choice that you made.

+1,000; seriously you put out his towel? The laundry I get bc you are a housewife. He will stop acting like a kid once you stop treating him like one.

I don't even put out towels for my kids. I trained them as toddlers, and have no interest in training an adult.

OP is the kind of person who likes to do nice things for people. it isn't a matter of "training." I'm like this, too, and so is my mom. Neither of us married men like this, and PP, judging from your scornful post, you are obviously not this kind of person either. We will never all understand each other. I'm another Love Languages fan, and after reading it I realized that the happiest couples I know are the ones who share the same "language." OP, I'm sorry. My DH pulls the same stunt with the dishwasher too, and the dirty countertops, plus if anything is "mine" - a mug, a dish I used to cook something - he'll leave it while cleaning away his own stuff. Mind-boggling. I doubt you'll change him but if you do please come back and post how!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of marriages would work out better if women just stopped being SAHMs, got a job they love and hired help to clean/do laundry.

This does not solve everything. I am a WOHM who makes more money than my husband but I still have the primary responsibility for coordinating everything. We have a cleaning service every 2 weeks. Somehow it has fallen on me to decide what to eat for dinner, know when we're out of certain foods, do the laundry, be responsible for paying the preschool tuition and getting all the myriad of forms for both kids filled out, pack up most of the stuff for daycare, etc.

Examples: if my husband does the dishes, he always manages to not see one. He never changes the table mats (cloth) if our DC spills yogurt on it in the morning. It'll just sit there until I take it upstairs to be washed and take out a new one to replace it. He doesn't see the sticky spots on the kitchen table either or the crumbs on the floor yet he eats breakfast w/ her almost every morning while this is occurring.

Recently he had to drop my oldest off at preschool. I gave him a check to give to them. He forgot to do it and came home with it. I was left scrambling so we wouldn't have to incur a late fee.

I called him as I was leaving work early to take our youngest to the doctor's office and asked him if he could put the rice in the rice cooker so it'd be ready for our dinner last night as he was home before I was and it takes at least 20 minutes to do so. He completely forgot. This may sound like not a big deal but we have a very short window from getting home to work and getting 2 kids toddler and infant bathed, fed and ready for bed that it threw off our dinner plans.

Yes, I know he does a lot compared to other men, but that's a pathetic standard. I'm not looking for him to do more than me, I'm just sick of having to do everything that I do and then having to suffer when he fails to do everything he said he would. I am so pissed and fed up. Times like this I am also really pissed at his mother because she raised 3 sons like this and it was almost deliberate as if this is your problem and I don't care if I send them out into the world w/o these skills.

To the original poster, I hear where you are coming from. I used to do even way more before we had kids but I realized that he would never reciprocate in that way so I cut way back. He's a grown man and last time I checked we had 2 kids not 3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel exactly like you OP. My DH helps with barely anything, despite him only working part time as opposed to me working full time with an hour commute each way.

My day to day currently goes like this:

Get up at 5:30am to walk the dog, then when I get back, feed our 4 month old. Spend 30 minutes cleaning the dishes/kitchen, and preparing daycare bags and lunch for the baby and my 4 year old. 6:30 am take a shower and get ready. 7am get 4 year old out of bed, dressed, teeth brushed and ready to go, and get baby dressed and ready to go. Make a cup of coffie for DH. At 7:30, go wake DH up. When he gets dressed and comes out, I have the baby in his carrier on the floor with our 4 year old with his coat on and his school bag, and baby's school bag and DH's coffee waiting on the table. DH takes the kids to school (which is a 5 minute drive) and then he comes back and goes back to sleep. When we had the baby, I told him I really needed help in the mornigs - previously he just slept in until 10 and I dropped DS off at school on my way in to work. Taking them to school for me is the only thing he would agree to help with.

7:45am leave for work. 6:30-6:45pm arrive home from work. Make dinner. Give kids baths if there is time. Play time and 1 30 minute tv show for 4 yo while I give baby his bottle. Put kids to bed at 9pm (DH will do this about 20% of the time). Clean kitchen up some, do laundry, other various cleaning, etc.

All the while, DH is sitting on the couch using his Fn laptop....then has the nerve to ask me to bring him drinks.

Go to sleep around 11pm. Get up at 1:30 am to feed the baby (he's like clockwork, always wakes up at 1:30). DH will not do any overnight childcare. Try to get back to sleep to get in another couple hours of sleep hopefully, but it's hard because once I'm up it's really hard to fall back to sleep again.

Get back up at 5:30am. REPEAT REPEAT REPEAT

I'm so exhausted, yet DH thinks I should be grateful that he takes out the trash, takes the kids to school and picks them up, and takes out the trash and recycling.

Sometimes I just feel like dying. That is all.

OMG. I am a wohm who just posted about how pissed I was. Your husband is a selfish sack of shit and you are doing way too much. I'm sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of marriages would work out better if women just stopped being SAHMs, got a job they love and hired help to clean/do laundry.

This does not solve everything. I am a WOHM who makes more money than my husband but I still have the primary responsibility for coordinating everything. We have a cleaning service every 2 weeks. Somehow it has fallen on me to decide what to eat for dinner, know when we're out of certain foods, do the laundry, be responsible for paying the preschool tuition and getting all the myriad of forms for both kids filled out, pack up most of the stuff for daycare, etc.

Examples: if my husband does the dishes, he always manages to not see one. He never changes the table mats (cloth) if our DC spills yogurt on it in the morning. It'll just sit there until I take it upstairs to be washed and take out a new one to replace it. He doesn't see the sticky spots on the kitchen table either or the crumbs on the floor yet he eats breakfast w/ her almost every morning while this is occurring.

Recently he had to drop my oldest off at preschool. I gave him a check to give to them. He forgot to do it and came home with it. I was left scrambling so we wouldn't have to incur a late fee.

I called him as I was leaving work early to take our youngest to the doctor's office and asked him if he could put the rice in the rice cooker so it'd be ready for our dinner last night as he was home before I was and it takes at least 20 minutes to do so. He completely forgot. This may sound like not a big deal but we have a very short window from getting home to work and getting 2 kids toddler and infant bathed, fed and ready for bed that it threw off our dinner plans.

Yes, I know he does a lot compared to other men, but that's a pathetic standard. I'm not looking for him to do more than me, I'm just sick of having to do everything that I do and then having to suffer when he fails to do everything he said he would. I am so pissed and fed up. Times like this I am also really pissed at his mother because she raised 3 sons like this and it was almost deliberate as if this is your problem and I don't care if I send them out into the world w/o these skills.

To the original poster, I hear where you are coming from. I used to do even way more before we had kids but I realized that he would never reciprocate in that way so I cut way back. He's a grown man and last time I checked we had 2 kids not 3.

You're partially to blame for this. Stop doing all of the laundry and stop planning meals. No one will die. You're enabling him by continuing to do all of this stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of marriages would work out better if women just stopped being SAHMs, got a job they love and hired help to clean/do laundry.

This does not solve everything. I am a WOHM who makes more money than my husband but I still have the primary responsibility for coordinating everything. We have a cleaning service every 2 weeks. Somehow it has fallen on me to decide what to eat for dinner, know when we're out of certain foods, do the laundry, be responsible for paying the preschool tuition and getting all the myriad of forms for both kids filled out, pack up most of the stuff for daycare, etc.

Examples: if my husband does the dishes, he always manages to not see one. He never changes the table mats (cloth) if our DC spills yogurt on it in the morning. It'll just sit there until I take it upstairs to be washed and take out a new one to replace it. He doesn't see the sticky spots on the kitchen table either or the crumbs on the floor yet he eats breakfast w/ her almost every morning while this is occurring.

Recently he had to drop my oldest off at preschool. I gave him a check to give to them. He forgot to do it and came home with it. I was left scrambling so we wouldn't have to incur a late fee.

I called him as I was leaving work early to take our youngest to the doctor's office and asked him if he could put the rice in the rice cooker so it'd be ready for our dinner last night as he was home before I was and it takes at least 20 minutes to do so. He completely forgot. This may sound like not a big deal but we have a very short window from getting home to work and getting 2 kids toddler and infant bathed, fed and ready for bed that it threw off our dinner plans.

Yes, I know he does a lot compared to other men, but that's a pathetic standard. I'm not looking for him to do more than me, I'm just sick of having to do everything that I do and then having to suffer when he fails to do everything he said he would. I am so pissed and fed up. Times like this I am also really pissed at his mother because she raised 3 sons like this and it was almost deliberate as if this is your problem and I don't care if I send them out into the world w/o these skills.

To the original poster, I hear where you are coming from. I used to do even way more before we had kids but I realized that he would never reciprocate in that way so I cut way back. He's a grown man and last time I checked we had 2 kids not 3.

Reading through your complaints, you honestly sound like you're just busting his balls over forgetting occasional minor stuff. He could easily do the same to you. You sound like an overbearing task-master.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of marriages would work out better if women just stopped being SAHMs, got a job they love and hired help to clean/do laundry.

This does not solve everything. I am a WOHM who makes more money than my husband but I still have the primary responsibility for coordinating everything. We have a cleaning service every 2 weeks. Somehow it has fallen on me to decide what to eat for dinner, know when we're out of certain foods, do the laundry, be responsible for paying the preschool tuition and getting all the myriad of forms for both kids filled out, pack up most of the stuff for daycare, etc.

Examples: if my husband does the dishes, he always manages to not see one. He never changes the table mats (cloth) if our DC spills yogurt on it in the morning. It'll just sit there until I take it upstairs to be washed and take out a new one to replace it. He doesn't see the sticky spots on the kitchen table either or the crumbs on the floor yet he eats breakfast w/ her almost every morning while this is occurring.

Recently he had to drop my oldest off at preschool. I gave him a check to give to them. He forgot to do it and came home with it. I was left scrambling so we wouldn't have to incur a late fee.

I called him as I was leaving work early to take our youngest to the doctor's office and asked him if he could put the rice in the rice cooker so it'd be ready for our dinner last night as he was home before I was and it takes at least 20 minutes to do so. He completely forgot. This may sound like not a big deal but we have a very short window from getting home to work and getting 2 kids toddler and infant bathed, fed and ready for bed that it threw off our dinner plans.

Yes, I know he does a lot compared to other men, but that's a pathetic standard. I'm not looking for him to do more than me, I'm just sick of having to do everything that I do and then having to suffer when he fails to do everything he said he would. I am so pissed and fed up. Times like this I am also really pissed at his mother because she raised 3 sons like this and it was almost deliberate as if this is your problem and I don't care if I send them out into the world w/o these skills.

To the original poster, I hear where you are coming from. I used to do even way more before we had kids but I realized that he would never reciprocate in that way so I cut way back. He's a grown man and last time I checked we had 2 kids not 3.

Reading through your complaints, you honestly sound like you're just busting his balls over forgetting occasional minor stuff. He could easily do the same to you. You sound like an overbearing task-master.

Just doing what I can to keep us afloat. And it isn't forgetting occasionally. It's all the time. These are just the most recent things (like the straw that broke the camel's back). Who goes to the grocery store for two items one which is a needed ingredient for that night's dinner and comes back with only 1 of the items? He completely forgot to buy the other one. When all of us get sick (which happened recently) who ends up taking care of everyone? Why is it always the woman? I'm still pumping 7 to 8 x a day (so i'm the most sleep deprived) and if dinner isn't ready before the baby's bed time I'm the one who is ready to pass out while I'm putting our infant down at 7. he's downstairs eating a leisurely dinner with our older child. he will throw the kids' clothes in the laundry when I mention that the jacket our youngest needs to wear for daycare the next morning has spit up on it and then forgets about it so it's still soaking wet the next morning when we need to leave for daycare. he'll take the leftover food for his lunch instead of buying so that there isn't anything for our oldest child's lunch box (she can't buy it's preschool). I do all the drop off/pick ups for day care. The one time I asked him to drop something off, he made the biggest face and said he'd get stuck in DC traffic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of marriages would work out better if women just stopped being SAHMs, got a job they love and hired help to clean/do laundry.

This does not solve everything. I am a WOHM who makes more money than my husband but I still have the primary responsibility for coordinating everything. We have a cleaning service every 2 weeks. Somehow it has fallen on me to decide what to eat for dinner, know when we're out of certain foods, do the laundry, be responsible for paying the preschool tuition and getting all the myriad of forms for both kids filled out, pack up most of the stuff for daycare, etc.

Examples: if my husband does the dishes, he always manages to not see one. He never changes the table mats (cloth) if our DC spills yogurt on it in the morning. It'll just sit there until I take it upstairs to be washed and take out a new one to replace it. He doesn't see the sticky spots on the kitchen table either or the crumbs on the floor yet he eats breakfast w/ her almost every morning while this is occurring.

Recently he had to drop my oldest off at preschool. I gave him a check to give to them. He forgot to do it and came home with it. I was left scrambling so we wouldn't have to incur a late fee.

I called him as I was leaving work early to take our youngest to the doctor's office and asked him if he could put the rice in the rice cooker so it'd be ready for our dinner last night as he was home before I was and it takes at least 20 minutes to do so. He completely forgot. This may sound like not a big deal but we have a very short window from getting home to work and getting 2 kids toddler and infant bathed, fed and ready for bed that it threw off our dinner plans.

Yes, I know he does a lot compared to other men, but that's a pathetic standard. I'm not looking for him to do more than me, I'm just sick of having to do everything that I do and then having to suffer when he fails to do everything he said he would. I am so pissed and fed up. Times like this I am also really pissed at his mother because she raised 3 sons like this and it was almost deliberate as if this is your problem and I don't care if I send them out into the world w/o these skills.

To the original poster, I hear where you are coming from. I used to do even way more before we had kids but I realized that he would never reciprocate in that way so I cut way back. He's a grown man and last time I checked we had 2 kids not 3.

Reading through your complaints, you honestly sound like you're just busting his balls over forgetting occasional minor stuff. He could easily do the same to you. You sound like an overbearing task-master.

Just doing what I can to keep us afloat. And it isn't forgetting occasionally. It's all the time. These are just the most recent things (like the straw that broke the camel's back). Who goes to the grocery store for two items one which is a needed ingredient for that night's dinner and comes back with only 1 of the items? He completely forgot to buy the other one. When all of us get sick (which happened recently) who ends up taking care of everyone? Why is it always the woman? I'm still pumping 7 to 8 x a day (so i'm the most sleep deprived) and if dinner isn't ready before the baby's bed time I'm the one who is ready to pass out while I'm putting our infant down at 7. he's downstairs eating a leisurely dinner with our older child. he will throw the kids' clothes in the laundry when I mention that the jacket our youngest needs to wear for daycare the next morning has spit up on it and then forgets about it so it's still soaking wet the next morning when we need to leave for daycare. he'll take the leftover food for his lunch instead of buying so that there isn't anything for our oldest child's lunch box (she can't buy it's preschool). I do all the drop off/pick ups for day care. The one time I asked him to drop something off, he made the biggest face and said he'd get stuck in DC traffic.

PP: It sounds like your relationship has become a parent/child relationship. It's a two-way street. His childish behavior only half of the problem. You need to accept that you are the other half of the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of marriages would work out better if women just stopped being SAHMs, got a job they love and hired help to clean/do laundry.

This does not solve everything. I am a WOHM who makes more money than my husband but I still have the primary responsibility for coordinating everything. We have a cleaning service every 2 weeks. Somehow it has fallen on me to decide what to eat for dinner, know when we're out of certain foods, do the laundry, be responsible for paying the preschool tuition and getting all the myriad of forms for both kids filled out, pack up most of the stuff for daycare, etc.

Examples: if my husband does the dishes, he always manages to not see one. He never changes the table mats (cloth) if our DC spills yogurt on it in the morning. It'll just sit there until I take it upstairs to be washed and take out a new one to replace it. He doesn't see the sticky spots on the kitchen table either or the crumbs on the floor yet he eats breakfast w/ her almost every morning while this is occurring.

Recently he had to drop my oldest off at preschool. I gave him a check to give to them. He forgot to do it and came home with it. I was left scrambling so we wouldn't have to incur a late fee.

I called him as I was leaving work early to take our youngest to the doctor's office and asked him if he could put the rice in the rice cooker so it'd be ready for our dinner last night as he was home before I was and it takes at least 20 minutes to do so. He completely forgot. This may sound like not a big deal but we have a very short window from getting home to work and getting 2 kids toddler and infant bathed, fed and ready for bed that it threw off our dinner plans.

Yes, I know he does a lot compared to other men, but that's a pathetic standard. I'm not looking for him to do more than me, I'm just sick of having to do everything that I do and then having to suffer when he fails to do everything he said he would. I am so pissed and fed up. Times like this I am also really pissed at his mother because she raised 3 sons like this and it was almost deliberate as if this is your problem and I don't care if I send them out into the world w/o these skills.

To the original poster, I hear where you are coming from. I used to do even way more before we had kids but I realized that he would never reciprocate in that way so I cut way back. He's a grown man and last time I checked we had 2 kids not 3.

Reading through your complaints, you honestly sound like you're just busting his balls over forgetting occasional minor stuff. He could easily do the same to you. You sound like an overbearing task-master.

Just doing what I can to keep us afloat. And it isn't forgetting occasionally. It's all the time. These are just the most recent things (like the straw that broke the camel's back). Who goes to the grocery store for two items one which is a needed ingredient for that night's dinner and comes back with only 1 of the items? He completely forgot to buy the other one. When all of us get sick (which happened recently) who ends up taking care of everyone? Why is it always the woman? I'm still pumping 7 to 8 x a day (so i'm the most sleep deprived) and if dinner isn't ready before the baby's bed time I'm the one who is ready to pass out while I'm putting our infant down at 7. he's downstairs eating a leisurely dinner with our older child. he will throw the kids' clothes in the laundry when I mention that the jacket our youngest needs to wear for daycare the next morning has spit up on it and then forgets about it so it's still soaking wet the next morning when we need to leave for daycare. he'll take the leftover food for his lunch instead of buying so that there isn't anything for our oldest child's lunch box (she can't buy it's preschool). I do all the drop off/pick ups for day care. The one time I asked him to drop something off, he made the biggest face and said he'd get stuck in DC traffic.

PP: It sounds like your relationship has become a parent/child relationship. It's a two-way street. His childish behavior only half of the problem. You need to accept that you are the other half of the problem.

Your posts are filled with "I told him to do this, I told him to do that, I told him to do this, I told him to do this..." Can you see how this is part of the issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many pages, what else is there to say... To the OP, I assume your children are young. This is THE hardest time. An earlier post (19:19) had a great suggestion. You need to get out of the house without kids and DH on regular basis, exercise class, walk with a girlfriend or even better, a 2 day trip away. Husbands will never clean like you do, but they do need to care for a child for a few days alone to truly appreciate all the work that you do.

This is such a bullshit canard. Every dad I know routinely and capably takes care of the children -- for time ranging from hours to days. This "Dad is an idiot -- you'll show him a thing or two if you dump the kids on him" thing always backfires because the premise is fundamentally flawed. In fact, most of the time they do a BETTER job of taking care of the children than Mom because they're less likely to hover or correct every little thing the child does wrong.

My husband is nowhere near as capable of caring for our children as I am. I know. I went on international business trips from 7 to 10 days when we had two kids under 4. No multitasking, no advance planning. I'm sure not the only one who married a less capable man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many pages, what else is there to say... To the OP, I assume your children are young. This is THE hardest time. An earlier post (19:19) had a great suggestion. You need to get out of the house without kids and DH on regular basis, exercise class, walk with a girlfriend or even better, a 2 day trip away. Husbands will never clean like you do, but they do need to care for a child for a few days alone to truly appreciate all the work that you do.

This is such a bullshit canard. Every dad I know routinely and capably takes care of the children -- for time ranging from hours to days. This "Dad is an idiot -- you'll show him a thing or two if you dump the kids on him" thing always backfires because the premise is fundamentally flawed. In fact, most of the time they do a BETTER job of taking care of the children than Mom because they're less likely to hover or correct every little thing the child does wrong.

My husband is nowhere near as capable of caring for our children as I am. I know. I went on international business trips from 7 to 10 days when we had two kids under 4. No multitasking, no advance planning. I'm sure not the only one who married a less capable man.

Hahaha!

Enjoy your life of being saddled with a "less capable man."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't understand SAHMs that constantly demand that their husbands do housework for them. Either be a SAHM or don't. I don't think your feelings of being a "slave" are justified.

I have to agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a SAHM. Your job is to handle the house duties. His job is to go to work and bring home the money so you can have a roof over your head, food to cook/eat, and clothes to put on your (and your child's) back.

+1,000

Woman up, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of marriages would work out better if women just stopped being SAHMs, got a job they love and hired help to clean/do laundry.

This does not solve everything. I am a WOHM who makes more money than my husband but I still have the primary responsibility for coordinating everything. We have a cleaning service every 2 weeks. Somehow it has fallen on me to decide what to eat for dinner, know when we're out of certain foods, do the laundry, be responsible for paying the preschool tuition and getting all the myriad of forms for both kids filled out, pack up most of the stuff for daycare, etc.

Examples: if my husband does the dishes, he always manages to not see one. He never changes the table mats (cloth) if our DC spills yogurt on it in the morning. It'll just sit there until I take it upstairs to be washed and take out a new one to replace it. He doesn't see the sticky spots on the kitchen table either or the crumbs on the floor yet he eats breakfast w/ her almost every morning while this is occurring.

Recently he had to drop my oldest off at preschool. I gave him a check to give to them. He forgot to do it and came home with it. I was left scrambling so we wouldn't have to incur a late fee.

I called him as I was leaving work early to take our youngest to the doctor's office and asked him if he could put the rice in the rice cooker so it'd be ready for our dinner last night as he was home before I was and it takes at least 20 minutes to do so. He completely forgot. This may sound like not a big deal but we have a very short window from getting home to work and getting 2 kids toddler and infant bathed, fed and ready for bed that it threw off our dinner plans.

Yes, I know he does a lot compared to other men, but that's a pathetic standard. I'm not looking for him to do more than me, I'm just sick of having to do everything that I do and then having to suffer when he fails to do everything he said he would. I am so pissed and fed up. Times like this I am also really pissed at his mother because she raised 3 sons like this and it was almost deliberate as if this is your problem and I don't care if I send them out into the world w/o these skills.

To the original poster, I hear where you are coming from. I used to do even way more before we had kids but I realized that he would never reciprocate in that way so I cut way back. He's a grown man and last time I checked we had 2 kids not 3.

Reading through your complaints, you honestly sound like you're just busting his balls over forgetting occasional minor stuff. He could easily do the same to you. You sound like an overbearing task-master.

Just doing what I can to keep us afloat. And it isn't forgetting occasionally. It's all the time. These are just the most recent things (like the straw that broke the camel's back). Who goes to the grocery store for two items one which is a needed ingredient for that night's dinner and comes back with only 1 of the items? He completely forgot to buy the other one. When all of us get sick (which happened recently) who ends up taking care of everyone? Why is it always the woman? I'm still pumping 7 to 8 x a day (so i'm the most sleep deprived) and if dinner isn't ready before the baby's bed time I'm the one who is ready to pass out while I'm putting our infant down at 7. he's downstairs eating a leisurely dinner with our older child. he will throw the kids' clothes in the laundry when I mention that the jacket our youngest needs to wear for daycare the next morning has spit up on it and then forgets about it so it's still soaking wet the next morning when we need to leave for daycare. he'll take the leftover food for his lunch instead of buying so that there isn't anything for our oldest child's lunch box (she can't buy it's preschool). I do all the drop off/pick ups for day care. The one time I asked him to drop something off, he made the biggest face and said he'd get stuck in DC traffic.

PP: It sounds like your relationship has become a parent/child relationship. It's a two-way street. His childish behavior only half of the problem. You need to accept that you are the other half of the problem.

Your posts are filled with "I told him to do this, I told him to do that, I told him to do this, I told him to do this..." Can you see how this is part of the issue?

Actually, I just read this entire thread and didn't see her say "I told him to do this, I told him to do this." She said she asked him to drop something off for her and he made a face. She also asked if he would start the rice cooker when she was driving their kid to the doctor's office. Does this not ever happen in your families where one spouse calls the other and asks if they can start something b/c they're doing something else for the household? He just sounds like most men incompetent. And don't say it's his job to work. They both WOHM.