Unmarried men, at what age is something seriously amiss?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it really that unusual to marry in your mid 30's? I actually thought that was becoming more and more common...

Strange that someone would view a guy as fresh meat at 34 and expired, damaged goods at 36.

I didn't get married until I was 34 myself. And I'm a woman.

I think the point is that is rare to begin the relationship that leads to marriage at 35, but that yes it's normal to marry mid 30s but likely you met/started dating early 30s.

It's not rare at all.

There's a lot of dumb "advice" being given here, mostly by people who are too young to be in a position to offer it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I knew that post would bring out the butthurt men and ugly women. Men are so rustled at a woman who is playing the game as actively as they are and ugly women get mad at the fun more desirable women are having.

Fine by me. Enjoy your desirable days as every day that passes by, your expiration date gets closer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I knew that post would bring out the butthurt men and ugly women. Men are so rustled at a woman who is playing the game as actively as they are and ugly women get mad at the fun more desirable women are having.

Fine by me. Enjoy your desirable days as every day that passes by, your expiration date gets closer.

NP. Better to be a has been than a never was. FYI my grandpa is in a posh retirement community and the beautiful old women still have the widowers eating out of the palms of their hands. The taller, handsome old men are still in hot demand. And everyone else - short men, uglies, socially awkward types -- are still on the sidelines. It's a little sad, but age doesn't really equalize things.

[Anonymous]

You know whats weird, I view women AND men who aren't married yet by their early 30s as people with something amiss. Between 24-27 people are actively looking to date to marry. If they havent been married by their early 30s...something's wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know whats weird, I view women AND men who aren't married yet by their early 30s as people with something amiss. Between 24-27 people are actively looking to date to marry. If they havent been married by their early 30s...something's wrong.

Early 30s can still be explained by region, culture, and education. A DC lawyer marrying at 33 is normal and common. Nowhere is marrying for the first time at 37 common, however. Outliers merit some scrutiny, especially when there is no apparent reason beyond the person's own issues.

On a different note, lack of interest in marriage until age 35+ is a red flag IMO because it indicates the person does not place the same value on marriage and family as most people do. From what I have seen, that is the kind of person who is more likely to quit and cheat, check out emotionally, or get divorced when the going gets tough in the marriage. When I was on the market, I stayed away from bachelors over 35 even if I couldn't find something clearly wrong because at the very least, they did not share my values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know whats weird, I view women AND men who aren't married yet by their early 30s as people with something amiss. Between 24-27 people are actively looking to date to marry. If they havent been married by their early 30s...something's wrong.

I think this is highly regional. I think people who get married before 27 have issues.

[Anonymous]

Some attractive people just fall through the cracks and don't get married until their 30s. But when I was 25, I had a fling with a woman who was 37 and single. She said that anyone -- man or woman -- that age had "issues" and would likely never marry.

[Anonymous]

Everyone is assuming that those 37 year old bachelors are going to be younger dating women in their 20s. And, yes, those women are going to be in a position to be choosy.

But, this is a red herring because most of these guys are presumably going to be dating women who are over 30 anyway. A 32 year old women is not really in a position to reject an otherwise decent guy who is 36 because "something must be wrong with him." That same logic could easily be turned around on her.

Aging is very much a relative thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:men that old. Technically I was in a couple of LTRs, but an LTR that you know you are going to end as soon as the guy reaches his expiration date is just different.

Get over yourself, grandma.

?What is the expiration date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know whats weird, I view women AND men who aren't married yet by their early 30s as people with something amiss. Between 24-27 people are actively looking to date to marry. If they havent been married by their early 30s...something's wrong.

I think this is highly regional. I think people who get married before 27 have issues.

+1! Some people get married TOO young and then divorce and remarry. They could have skipped the drama by waiting until their early 30s (still very likely to marry around DC) and looking around a little more first. It worked for DH and me, we got married in early 30s and just celebrated our 20th anniversary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some attractive people just fall through the cracks and don't get married until their 30s. But when I was 25, I had a fling with a woman who was 37 and single. She said that anyone -- man or woman -- that age had "issues" and would likely never marry.

Don't we all have issues?

[Anonymous]

Someone unmarried over 35 probably has issues, but everyone has issues.

Being married before 35 is hardly a guarantee of mental stability. Plenty of people get married, at the "normal" age, when they shouldn't have, and should have waited until they were older and had a chance to sort themselves out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know whats weird, I view women AND men who aren't married yet by their early 30s as people with something amiss. Between 24-27 people are actively looking to date to marry. If they havent been married by their early 30s...something's wrong.

Dh and I didn't tie the knot until we were both in our mid 30s. In fact, he was pushing late 30s. That was over 15 years ago. It never dawned on me that we were about to "expire"....who views other people like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You know whats weird, I view women AND men who aren't married yet by their early 30s as people with something amiss. Between 24-27 people are actively looking to date to marry. If they havent been married by their early 30s...something's wrong.



Early 30s can still be explained by region, culture, and education. A DC lawyer marrying at 33 is normal and common. Nowhere is marrying for the first time at 37 common, however. Outliers merit some scrutiny, especially when there is no apparent reason beyond the person's own issues.

On a different note, lack of interest in marriage until age 35+ is a red flag IMO because it indicates the person does not place the same value on marriage and family as most people do. From what I have seen, that is the kind of person who is more likely to quit and cheat, check out emotionally, or get divorced when the going gets tough in the marriage. When I was on the market, I stayed away from bachelors over 35 even if I couldn't find something clearly wrong because at the very least, they did not share my values.
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Well the facts do not back up your opinion.

[Anonymous]

Some people, like me, are late bloomers. Thankfully I wasn't written off when my husband met me when I was 36. He was 37.