Unmarried men, at what age is something seriously amiss?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:uh women are getting married later and later. I have a bunch of single girlfriends in NYC and they're in their early 30s. If they blew off men in their mid to late 30s there will be no one to partner up with.

They are probably content to enjoy variety now and skip the whole baby thing altogether. They might wait until they are in their 50's or older to get married, retire early and travel the world. Whatever makes them happy. We are not all the same.

No I get it. What I am saying is that these women if interested in marriage (and I know my friends are) will be looking at men in the same age range, so 35 to 40 is not too late. The people who are commenting men above 35 are spoilt are too young. There are many women in their 30s that will date these men. We're not THAT young.

My friend who is now 33 wouldn't date men over 37 when she, herself, was 31 because she didn't want a "confirmed bachelor" type. Her reasoning is that men do the asking, so if a man hasn't met anyone worth asking in 37+ years, he will probably never think any woman is good enough. She got married a few months ago to a 32 year old man.

She was single at 31, and then married a few months later? It sounds like she panicked.

I guess she concluded that she was bordering on "damaged goods" herself.

You really can't do basic math? How sad. Let's assist you. She got married at 33 to a guy she met at 31. 33-31 = 2 years. If marrying after dating for two years sounds like "panic" to you, then you don't know what the word means.[b]

+1. Honestly, from dating as an early 30s woman, I do wonder about guys who are 37+ and never married. I'm family oriented and want the same in a partner. Most of the 37+ never married guys I've met say that they want to settle down but their lifestyles say otherwise.

[Anonymous]

My husband was 38 when I married him He is a great guy- just never found anyone he wanted to be around long term. His longest relationship before me was 1 year. He had a great job (an Engineer) and owned his own home. He had plenty of hobbies and lots of friends. He kept busy. He never had a problem getting dates- just had no desire to continue to date people he didn't connect to.

A good friend of his didn't settle down until he was in his mid to late forties. He also was a great catch- but wasn't willing to settle. He figured if he found the right person, OK - if not it wasn't worth his time. He dated lots of models and what appeared to be high maintenance types. He met a elementary school teacher who was OK looking, but had a fantastic personality and they had a lot of common interests. It also helped that she was incredibly independent. They have been happily married for almost 10 years.

I also know some men who are serial daters. They have no desire in long term anything, but most are pretty upfront about that.

[Anonymous]

I think it's a mistake to just write someone off without context. There are people that delay marriage for various reasons, some perfectly reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone with this many issues will make a normal person miserable.

"normal"

What's not "normal" is signing up to put up with your nagging BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone with this many issues will make a normal person miserable.

"normal"

What's not "normal" is signing up to put up with your nagging BS.

It probably doesn't take much to make the PP miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have some friends in their 40's who are actually nice guys, who for whatever reason have not been married. In a few cases, I think they just don't really see any benefit to being married so they don't go that route. (they don't want kids, have good incomes, own property, have good social lives, date - why rock the boat?) And in some cases, they would like to get married but haven't found the right person yet.

So I don't think you can really say there's any one age. You've got to take it case by case. (and if a guy says he doesn't want to marry, believe him.)

I think times are very different now rather than 30+ years ago, you can have a relationship with someone with "benefit of marriage" as they used to say. If you are not looking for marriage/kids and most women and men are working there does not seem to be a rush to marriage as there used to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone with this many issues will make a normal person miserable.

"normal"

What's not "normal" is signing up to put up with your nagging BS.

It probably doesn't take much to make the PP miserable.

Seems like you two need more therapy and electroshock.

[Anonymous]

If a man is not at least dating "with serious intent" by age 30, major red flag.

[Anonymous]

I set myself a deadline of 25 to kick the geezers to the curb and find someone my own age for something meaningful. I met DH at 25 and was happily married at 27. My DH was 28 when we married and we are super happy.

You didn't tell him about your past, did you.

[Anonymous]

My DH is 36 and if we split (which is a fairly frequent threat), I would hope whomever comes along next heeds the red flags I stupidly and weakly ignored.

[Anonymous]

I don't rule people out as there are always exceptions, but no question in my kind that the best catches are committed before 35 for men and before 30 for women. As a divorcee I date divorced men for this reason. They have better overall qualities than never marrieds at the same age. My guess would also be that the so called marriage material that delayed commitment for schooling are conventionally unattractive and are below average in charisma/personality. Because education really doesn't stop someone 'normal' from commitment.