Unmarried men, at what age is something seriously amiss?

[Anonymous]

There are people out there who you could consider to be reclusive as well.

[Anonymous]

^^ year old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 28, I expect a man to date for the purpose of looking to settle down. Before that it is for everything else but marriage.

By 35 - he is not marriage material.

Are you 15 yourself?

DH married at 42, for the first time. I would say he is marriage material.

That is a really old first time groom though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if there was a 35 year old who has never been in a relationship before?

It means he prob didn't ever want to be in a relationship ship before which is disconcerting. Run away.

Some people suffer from social anxieties, where they are lonely and want a relationship, but have trouble with relationships. Sometimes they work through it, with or without therapy. Sometimes, they don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if there was a 35 year old who has never been in a relationship before?

It means he prob didn't ever want to be in a relationship ship before which is disconcerting. Run away.

Some people suffer from social anxieties, where they are lonely and want a relationship, but have trouble with relationships. Sometimes they work through it, with or without therapy. Sometimes, they don't.

NP. Someone with this many issues will make a normal person miserable. This is exactly the kind of person one avoids by not dating perpetually single men over 35. That is a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You couldn't be bothered to date anyone seriously before or during B school? I'm guessing you developed a lot of selfish habits over the last 15 years.

Selfish habits like focusing on his career, saving his money and prioritizing himself instead of spending it on your unappreciative ass? Who can blame him? I guess he should have went from apartment to apartment and woman to woman, like all those guys who "bother" to date people seriously because they think it's the "right thing to do."

"You couldn't be bothered..." Your entitlement is dripping from your post.

My husband managed to focus on his career, attend a top law school and save money, all while dating me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if there was a 35 year old who has never been in a relationship before?

It means he prob didn't ever want to be in a relationship ship before which is disconcerting. Run away.

Some people suffer from social anxieties, where they are lonely and want a relationship, but have trouble with relationships. Sometimes they work through it, with or without therapy. Sometimes, they don't.

NP. Someone with this many issues will make a normal person miserable. This is exactly the kind of person one avoids by not dating perpetually single men over 35. That is a good thing.

People who have struggled and suffered often have the most empathy and compassion for others. I've known people who have struggled with various addictions and illnesses and they are often much kinder, on an emotional level, and grateful for the little things that they have, than people who seem to have a textbook perfect life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if there was a 35 year old who has never been in a relationship before?

It means he prob didn't ever want to be in a relationship ship before which is disconcerting. Run away.

Some people suffer from social anxieties, where they are lonely and want a relationship, but have trouble with relationships. Sometimes they work through it, with or without therapy. Sometimes, they don't.

NP. Someone with this many issues will make a normal person miserable. This is exactly the kind of person one avoids by not dating perpetually single men over 35. That is a good thing.

People who have struggled and suffered often have the most empathy and compassion for others. I've known people who have struggled with various addictions and illnesses and they are often much kinder, on an emotional level, and grateful for the little things that they have, than people who seem to have a textbook perfect life.

I have actually found that the whole 'outcast with a heart of gold' thing is more myth than reality. People who have mental and emotional issues that keep them on the periphery of society aren't any nicer or meaner than those who can socialize normally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 28, I expect a man to date for the purpose of looking to settle down. Before that it is for everything else but marriage.

By 35 - he is not marriage material.

Are you 15 yourself?

DH married at 42, for the first time. I would say he is marriage material.

That is a really old first time groom though.

True.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 28, I expect a man to date for the purpose of looking to settle down. Before that it is for everything else but marriage.

By 35 - he is not marriage material.

Are you 15 yourself?

DH married at 42, for the first time. I would say he is marriage material.

That is a really old first time groom though.

True.

In places like here and NY, a 42 year old first time groom is not an anomaly.

[Anonymous]

This whole discussion seems academic since society puts more pressure on women to "settle-down" by a certain age than it does men, anyway.

It's understandable, if you are in your 20s to regard an 35+ male with skepticism. But, an unmarried women who is over 30 is in roughly the same position as a man who is over 35.

Basically, unless he is insisting on dating younger women, he'll be OK, assuming he checks-out otherwise.

[Anonymous]

There are men who will literally not date women past their early 30s, even if they, themselves, are older. Seems unfair, but men are usually more uptight about a woman's age than the other way around.

[Anonymous]

My dad was 40 and single when he met my mom and is a freak. That being said, they are happily married and a good match. However, I'm very aware of why he was single at this age and wouldn't want to be married to someone like him. There is someone for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:uh women are getting married later and later. I have a bunch of single girlfriends in NYC and they're in their early 30s. If they blew off men in their mid to late 30s there will be no one to partner up with.

They are probably content to enjoy variety now and skip the whole baby thing altogether. They might wait until they are in their 50's or older to get married, retire early and travel the world. Whatever makes them happy. We are not all the same.

No I get it. What I am saying is that these women if interested in marriage (and I know my friends are) will be looking at men in the same age range, so 35 to 40 is not too late. The people who are commenting men above 35 are spoilt are too young. There are many women in their 30s that will date these men. We're not THAT young.

My friend who is now 33 wouldn't date men over 37 when she, herself, was 31 because she didn't want a "confirmed bachelor" type. Her reasoning is that men do the asking, so if a man hasn't met anyone worth asking in 37+ years, he will probably never think any woman is good enough. She got married a few months ago to a 32 year old man.

She was single at 31, and then married a few months later? It sounds like she panicked.

I guess she concluded that she was bordering on "damaged goods" herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:uh women are getting married later and later. I have a bunch of single girlfriends in NYC and they're in their early 30s. If they blew off men in their mid to late 30s there will be no one to partner up with.

They are probably content to enjoy variety now and skip the whole baby thing altogether. They might wait until they are in their 50's or older to get married, retire early and travel the world. Whatever makes them happy. We are not all the same.

No I get it. What I am saying is that these women if interested in marriage (and I know my friends are) will be looking at men in the same age range, so 35 to 40 is not too late. The people who are commenting men above 35 are spoilt are too young. There are many women in their 30s that will date these men. We're not THAT young.

My friend who is now 33 wouldn't date men over 37 when she, herself, was 31 because she didn't want a "confirmed bachelor" type. Her reasoning is that men do the asking, so if a man hasn't met anyone worth asking in 37+ years, he will probably never think any woman is good enough. She got married a few months ago to a 32 year old man.

She was single at 31, and then married a few months later? It sounds like she panicked.

I guess she concluded that she was bordering on "damaged goods" herself.

You really can't do basic math? How sad. Let's assist you. She got married at 33 to a guy she met at 31. 33-31 = 2 years. If marrying after dating for two years sounds like "panic" to you, then you don't know what the word means.