Unmarried men, at what age is something seriously amiss?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:uh women are getting married later and later. I have a bunch of single girlfriends in NYC and they're in their early 30s. If they blew off men in their mid to late 30s there will be no one to partner up with.

They are probably content to enjoy variety now and skip the whole baby thing altogether. They might wait until they are in their 50's or older to get married, retire early and travel the world. Whatever makes them happy. We are not all the same.

No I get it. What I am saying is that these women if interested in marriage (and I know my friends are) will be looking at men in the same age range, so 35 to 40 is not too late. The people who are commenting men above 35 are spoilt are too young. There are many women in their 30s that will date these men. We're not THAT young.

My friend who is now 33 wouldn't date men over 37 when she, herself, was 31 because she didn't want a "confirmed bachelor" type. Her reasoning is that men do the asking, so if a man hasn't met anyone worth asking in 37+ years, he will probably never think any woman is good enough. She got married a few months ago to a 32 year old man.

Forgive me if I don't see a whole lot of difference between 32 and 37 year old men.

Also, she seems a little old-fashioned with the "men do the asking." Old-fashioned people tend to be the worst when it comes to labeling people as "spinsters" and "confirmed bachelors."

Ask the happily married couples in your circle if the man or the woman did the asking.

Are you referring specifically to "popping the question" or to just generally being the one to initiate dating? I know men still almost always do the former, but I'm not sure if that's what the PP meant.

I am the PP and marriage is what I meant. I think it should have been clear from the context (discussing men who are unmarried at advanced ages).

[Anonymous]

Most of these comments are ridiculous because they do not consider context. Male, graduated from business school at 31. Moved to another city and constantly traveled until I was 34. During that time, was involved with a couple of women but we didn't get to the stage of thinking seriously about marriage. Not interested in dating when I was 35 - early 36, turned off by the process. Late 36 met my now wife and married a year later at 37.

I am happy in the marriage and would bet she would say the same thing about herself. No reason for some ridiculous cutoff at 35.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of these comments are ridiculous because they do not consider context. Male, graduated from business school at 31. Moved to another city and constantly traveled until I was 34. During that time, was involved with a couple of women but we didn't get to the stage of thinking seriously about marriage. Not interested in dating when I was 35 - early 36, turned off by the process. Late 36 met my now wife and married a year later at 37.

I am happy in the marriage and would bet she would say the same thing about herself. No reason for some ridiculous cutoff at 35.

How old is your wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of these comments are ridiculous because they do not consider context. Male, graduated from business school at 31. Moved to another city and constantly traveled until I was 34. During that time, was involved with a couple of women but we didn't get to the stage of thinking seriously about marriage. Not interested in dating when I was 35 - early 36, turned off by the process. Late 36 met my now wife and married a year later at 37.

I am happy in the marriage and would bet she would say the same thing about herself. No reason for some ridiculous cutoff at 35.

I think you sort of prove the point.
You couldn't be bothered to date anyone seriously before or during B school? I'm guessing you developed a lot of selfish habits over the last 15 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of these comments are ridiculous because they do not consider context. Male, graduated from business school at 31. Moved to another city and constantly traveled until I was 34. During that time, was involved with a couple of women but we didn't get to the stage of thinking seriously about marriage. Not interested in dating when I was 35 - early 36, turned off by the process. Late 36 met my now wife and married a year later at 37.

I am happy in the marriage and would bet she would say the same thing about herself. No reason for some ridiculous cutoff at 35.

I guess you didn't need to learn how to read in business school. People have repeatedly said in this thread that they are not counting guys who married late due to furthering their education. Jesus be Hooked on Phonics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of these comments are ridiculous because they do not consider context. Male, graduated from business school at 31. Moved to another city and constantly traveled until I was 34. During that time, was involved with a couple of women but we didn't get to the stage of thinking seriously about marriage. Not interested in dating when I was 35 - early 36, turned off by the process. Late 36 met my now wife and married a year later at 37.

I am happy in the marriage and would bet she would say the same thing about herself. No reason for some ridiculous cutoff at 35.

I think you sort of prove the point.
You couldn't be bothered to date anyone seriously before or during B school? I'm guessing you developed a lot of selfish habits over the last 15 years.

You seem like a unpleasant person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You couldn't be bothered to date anyone seriously before or during B school? I'm guessing you developed a lot of selfish habits over the last 15 years.

Selfish habits like focusing on his career, saving his money and prioritizing himself instead of spending it on your unappreciative ass? Who can blame him? I guess he should have went from apartment to apartment and woman to woman, like all those guys who "bother" to date people seriously because they think it's the "right thing to do."

"You couldn't be bothered..." Your entitlement is dripping from your post.

[Anonymous]

Getting married and starting a family before you have your financial, emotional and physical stuff together is selfish. Putting off marriage until you are able to be a good husband and father is being responsible.

This goes double for men, who enjoy the luxury of being able to put things off a few years longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Getting married and starting a family before you have your financial, emotional and physical stuff together is selfish. Putting off marriage until you are able to be a good husband and father is being responsible.

This goes double for men, who enjoy the luxury of being able to put things off a few years longer.

I agree completely.
The strict "by the book" do everything that is expected of them folks seem to be the ones writing off 40, or even 35 year old men as defective. For people who were less interested in following a script, having such a rigid age cutoff seems silly. I think it's good that a rigid get married by 35 or else person doesn't marry someone who thinks differently because it wouldn't be a good match anyway. If they could keep the judgment of people who aren't like them out of the equation it'd be great.

[Anonymous]

I know (was involved with) a total package bachelor when we were in our twenties: he was - is - educated, handsome, accomplished, interesting, compassionate....and chronically commitment-phobic, not to mention a cheat.

I've since married, but spoke with him recently and he spoke of wanting kids (he's in his late thirties now). He could if he wanted to, but I think he enjoys getting around more.

[Anonymous]

^^^my point being, around 35 is a cut-off, especially for a man like that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^my point being, around 35 is a cut-off, especially for a man like that

I don't think this anecdote proved your point well- this man has always been commitment-phobic and it was apparent in his 20's. He didn't expire or turn bad or anything along those lines at 35. He never was a good prospect.

[Anonymous]

What if there was a 35 year old who has never been in a relationship before?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if there was a 35 year old who has never been in a relationship before?

It means he prob didn't ever want to be in a relationship ship before which is disconcerting. Run away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if there was a 35 year old who has never been in a relationship before?

He could be extremely shy.

Personally, I find that very odd but I also thinks it's weird to be a 25+ men who is too shy to ask a woman they're interested in out.