Mother's Day: Am I the a@@hole?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Book yourself into a hotel. Bring books, order room service.

Do people really want to do this? I spent a lot of nights alone in a hotel room ordering room service when I was a consultant. It's a pretty miserable life. I wouldn't choose to do that now to get away from my family.

I was a consultant. When you are a consultant, you dream of home. When you are home everyday surrounded by chaos, you dream of silence and a place you don’t have to clean.

At some point, though, no former consultant wants to go back to that *life.*. But one night? Sounds fine.

Maybe if you’re on the verge of a complete mental breakdown. But otherwise, this is some idea that gets parroted here but nobody actually does.

[Anonymous]

MIL was always planning to stay for Mother’s Day. I would have seen right through that and said no right when the plans were made.
Objecting after they’ve changed the plans also makes you look like a jerk. I suspect that was part of MIL’s plan also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL was always planning to stay for Mother’s Day. I would have seen right through that and said no right when the plans were made.
Objecting after they’ve changed the plans also makes you look like a jerk. I suspect that was part of MIL’s plan also.

I am sorry, but the comment above seems like the musing of a mentally ill person. How do you live like this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you make plans with another disgruntled mother friend and go out to brunch & drink champagne?

OP said “no plans”. Nothing.

Yeah, I get that but now things have changed due to DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you make plans with another disgruntled mother friend and go out to brunch & drink champagne?

Why? She wants to do nothing and then get Big Mad if anyone around her does something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Love to see women blaming other women. JFC.

Why do you love this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not reading all the replies blaming OP because I agree with her. No plans means no plans and no guests and they are already seeing the MIL for two days before. Team OP. We too are doing “nothing” OP, and my DH is thankful I’m not demanding some big fete but also knows that nothing means nothing.

Why is OP forcing everyone to do nothing. If she wants to do nothing, that's fine. Her husband and the kids don't want to stay bored doing nothing, they can make their own plans and do something. OP can stay and do nothing. Nobody is asking her to do anything.

Actually, her husband is asking her to host his mother. I know, I know, you'll reply that OP doesn't have to do anything for her MIL while she's in her house, but I seriously doubt that OP's husband is the kind of person who would make that happen. OP doesn't want a house guest. Her husband is telling her he wants a house guest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why MIL can't be celebrated on Friday-Saturday and a mom cannot get ONE day of what SHE wants on Sunday. It is a compromise.

If family is in the house, not obligating OP to do anything, OP is getting the nothing she wants.

If OP cant communicate her boundaries and expectations to family, that’s an OP problem.

Immediate family, yes. MIL, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not reading all the replies blaming OP because I agree with her. No plans means no plans and no guests and they are already seeing the MIL for two days before. Team OP. We too are doing “nothing” OP, and my DH is thankful I’m not demanding some big fete but also knows that nothing means nothing.

Why is OP forcing everyone to do nothing. If she wants to do nothing, that's fine. Her husband and the kids don't want to stay bored doing nothing, they can make their own plans and do something. OP can stay and do nothing. Nobody is asking her to do anything.

Actually, her husband is asking her to host his mother. I know, I know, you'll reply that OP doesn't have to do anything for her MIL while she's in her house, but I seriously doubt that OP's husband is the kind of person who would make that happen. OP doesn't want a house guest. Her husband is telling her he wants a house guest.

How did he "ask" her to do this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not reading all the replies blaming OP because I agree with her. No plans means no plans and no guests and they are already seeing the MIL for two days before. Team OP. We too are doing “nothing” OP, and my DH is thankful I’m not demanding some big fete but also knows that nothing means nothing.

Why is OP forcing everyone to do nothing. If she wants to do nothing, that's fine. Her husband and the kids don't want to stay bored doing nothing, they can make their own plans and do something. OP can stay and do nothing. Nobody is asking her to do anything.

Because she was asked what she wanted and told them. To be home and relaxing with family with no plans. Her DH is ignoring her wishes on Mothers Day.

DH can celebrate his mom Saturday.

If this were me, I'd be pissed. And use the time to get a nice expensive Korean facial, scalp treatment, and a mani/pedi. You wanna ignore me? Fine. I'll handle it.

She said she wanted nothing. She didn’t even say she wanted to relax with the family. Why can’t DH plan something with the kids and his Mom, while she does nothing?

Right? He's probably like fine, do your nothing, and I'll visit with my mom. Did she really mean that she would do nothing and he would also have to do nothing along side her? Seems a tad controlling.

IN OP'S HOUSE

You all are either truly stupid or being purposefully obtuse. I'll let you pick.

[Anonymous]

I see it as a win-win. No plans for you, but your husband gets to spend Mother’s Day with his mom, who would like something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not reading all the replies blaming OP because I agree with her. No plans means no plans and no guests and they are already seeing the MIL for two days before. Team OP. We too are doing “nothing” OP, and my DH is thankful I’m not demanding some big fete but also knows that nothing means nothing.

Why is OP forcing everyone to do nothing. If she wants to do nothing, that's fine. Her husband and the kids don't want to stay bored doing nothing, they can make their own plans and do something. OP can stay and do nothing. Nobody is asking her to do anything.

Because she was asked what she wanted and told them. To be home and relaxing with family with no plans. Her DH is ignoring her wishes on Mothers Day.

DH can celebrate his mom Saturday.

If this were me, I'd be pissed. And use the time to get a nice expensive Korean facial, scalp treatment, and a mani/pedi. You wanna ignore me? Fine. I'll handle it.

She said she wanted nothing. She didn’t even say she wanted to relax with the family. Why can’t DH plan something with the kids and his Mom, while she does nothing?

I cannot imagine spending my life or even being very close friends with someone who does not understand the power of one full day of nothingness.

+1

All the people who "don't get it" are either men, childless, single, or mommy martyrs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Book yourself into a hotel. Bring books, order room service.

Do people really want to do this? I spent a lot of nights alone in a hotel room ordering room service when I was a consultant. It's a pretty miserable life. I wouldn't choose to do that now to get away from my family.

I was a consultant. When you are a consultant, you dream of home. When you are home everyday surrounded by chaos, you dream of silence and a place you don’t have to clean.

At some point, though, no former consultant wants to go back to that *life.*. But one night? Sounds fine.

Maybe if you’re on the verge of a complete mental breakdown. But otherwise, this is some idea that gets parroted here but nobody actually does.

Huh? I've done it. My friends have done it. And we all travel for work as well. I got spa treatments, laid out by the pool (this was for my birthday, not Mother's Day), ordered room service, slept a ton, binge watched TV, read an entire book. It was delightful. Sure I can relax at home, but there's always something I should be doing (work, laundry, organizing something, etc.). When you're at a hotel you can't do any of these things so it provides an added layer of relaxation.

BTW, no one is staying at a Holiday Inn. I doubt you stayed at the Inn at Perry Cabin or the Salamander for your work trips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not reading all the replies blaming OP because I agree with her. No plans means no plans and no guests and they are already seeing the MIL for two days before. Team OP. We too are doing “nothing” OP, and my DH is thankful I’m not demanding some big fete but also knows that nothing means nothing.

Why is OP forcing everyone to do nothing. If she wants to do nothing, that's fine. Her husband and the kids don't want to stay bored doing nothing, they can make their own plans and do something. OP can stay and do nothing. Nobody is asking her to do anything.

Actually, her husband is asking her to host his mother. I know, I know, you'll reply that OP doesn't have to do anything for her MIL while she's in her house, but I seriously doubt that OP's husband is the kind of person who would make that happen. OP doesn't want a house guest. Her husband is telling her he wants a house guest.

How did he "ask" her to do this?

Sigh. I'm sure you'll lie but I'd love to know if you're a man or a woman and whether or not you're married and have kids.

Having someone in your house is always some level of work. OP doesn't want to do any work on Sunday, including hosting her MIL. My husband knows he is in charge of his parents when they visit (figuring out activities, food, washing the sheets, etc.), and yet there is still always something that falls on me, even if it's simply being present with them. You can keep fighting this all you want, no one cares what you have to say. How OP feels is how OP feels, so trying to argue like her feelings are wrong is insulting and stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Book yourself into a hotel. Bring books, order room service.

Do people really want to do this? I spent a lot of nights alone in a hotel room ordering room service when I was a consultant. It's a pretty miserable life. I wouldn't choose to do that now to get away from my family.

I was a consultant. When you are a consultant, you dream of home. When you are home everyday surrounded by chaos, you dream of silence and a place you don’t have to clean.

At some point, though, no former consultant wants to go back to that *life.*. But one night? Sounds fine.

Maybe if you’re on the verge of a complete mental breakdown. But otherwise, this is some idea that gets parroted here but nobody actually does.

Huh? I've done it. My friends have done it. And we all travel for work as well. I got spa treatments, laid out by the pool (this was for my birthday, not Mother's Day), ordered room service, slept a ton, binge watched TV, read an entire book. It was delightful. Sure I can relax at home, but there's always something I should be doing (work, laundry, organizing something, etc.). When you're at a hotel you can't do any of these things so it provides an added layer of relaxation.

BTW, no one is staying at a Holiday Inn. I doubt you stayed at the Inn at Perry Cabin or the Salamander for your work trips.

Never has OP said "Good idea!" This isn't something most people want to do no matter how many times it gets repeated in here.