Mother's Day: Am I the a@@hole?

[Anonymous]

Not an a*sshole

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not reading all the replies blaming OP because I agree with her. No plans means no plans and no guests and they are already seeing the MIL for two days before. Team OP. We too are doing “nothing” OP, and my DH is thankful I’m not demanding some big fete but also knows that nothing means nothing.

Why is OP forcing everyone to do nothing. If she wants to do nothing, that's fine. Her husband and the kids don't want to stay bored doing nothing, they can make their own plans and do something. OP can stay and do nothing. Nobody is asking her to do anything.

Because she was asked what she wanted and told them. To be home and relaxing with family with no plans. Her DH is ignoring her wishes on Mothers Day.

DH can celebrate his mom Saturday.

If this were me, I'd be pissed. And use the time to get a nice expensive Korean facial, scalp treatment, and a mani/pedi. You wanna ignore me? Fine. I'll handle it.

That’s not what NOTHING means. OP said - direct quote - “NOTHING”.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't get it. Honestly he doesn't seem very smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you make plans with another disgruntled mother friend and go out to brunch & drink champagne?

OP said “no plans”. Nothing.

And the biggest most important part of that plan was NOT hosting houseguests.

The husband is a turd

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He doesn't get it. Honestly he doesn't seem very smart.

Just the opposite. He’s smart enough to know that all he has to do is to play stupid to get his way. He can “accidentally” ignore her wishes and make plans for her to cater to his wishes on a day that’s supposed to be about celebrating her.

Sounds pretty smart to me. Sure, it’s extremely selfish and self absorbed, but an it was an effective way to get what he wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not reading all the replies blaming OP because I agree with her. No plans means no plans and no guests and they are already seeing the MIL for two days before. Team OP. We too are doing “nothing” OP, and my DH is thankful I’m not demanding some big fete but also knows that nothing means nothing.

Why is OP forcing everyone to do nothing. If she wants to do nothing, that's fine. Her husband and the kids don't want to stay bored doing nothing, they can make their own plans and do something. OP can stay and do nothing. Nobody is asking her to do anything.

+1

The rest of the family should do what they want to do. Plan something. Plan something fun everyone will enjoy- brunch, a fun family outing, MIL time, fun dinner at a special place.

Agree on something everyone wants to do. Under no circumstances bother mom doing the nothing she wants.

You guys are intentionally trolling now. She specifically said she doesn’t want to host guests on Sunday. She’s happy to host the in-laws overnight Friday/Saturday but she doesn’t want to host on Sunday.

Your compromise is that the mom should just facilitate doing what her husband wants on Mother’s Day. Even on a day that’s about celebrating her, it’s an unreasonable for her to do something she wants.

I hope you guys bring that energy on Father’s Day and husband’s birthday! Wow.

[Anonymous]

Yes, OP, you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My mom is diseased.

Am I a horrible person for wanting one day without plans? I feel like he asked what I wanted, I expressed it clearly, and he somehow undermined or disregarded it. I am mad.

Maybe you should be caring for your mother, unless it is leprosy. Then I understand.

uff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you can’t just stay at home and he can take his mom to brunch. Why is that not an option?

Why are you making such a big deal that he might take his mom to do something on Mother’s Day?

The OP was very clear that she did not want to host guests on Sunday. She wanted a day to relax with her family and go on a nature walk. She doesn’t want to wait around while her husband takes the MIL and kids to lunch.

The misogyny is strong in this thread. No matter how simple the request, a mother getting to spend Mother’s Day doing things she likes is unacceptable.

You misspelled “misandry.”

My apologies. Obviously, mothers should defer to their husbands on Mothers Day!

After all, without those men, they wouldn’t be mothers and what would we be celebrating anyway?

On Mother’s Day, remember to thank the fathers in your life. Anything less is misandry and should not be tolerated. Don’t forget to bring a gift for HIM! (We all know moms don’t need that stuff)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Book yourself into a hotel. Bring books, order room service.

Do people really want to do this? I spent a lot of nights alone in a hotel room ordering room service when I was a consultant. It's a pretty miserable life. I wouldn't choose to do that now to get away from my family.

I was a consultant. When you are a consultant, you dream of home. When you are home everyday surrounded by chaos, you dream of silence and a place you don’t have to clean.

At some point, though, no former consultant wants to go back to that *life.*. But one night? Sounds fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not reading all the replies blaming OP because I agree with her. No plans means no plans and no guests and they are already seeing the MIL for two days before. Team OP. We too are doing “nothing” OP, and my DH is thankful I’m not demanding some big fete but also knows that nothing means nothing.

Why is OP forcing everyone to do nothing. If she wants to do nothing, that's fine. Her husband and the kids don't want to stay bored doing nothing, they can make their own plans and do something. OP can stay and do nothing. Nobody is asking her to do anything.

Because she was asked what she wanted and told them. To be home and relaxing with family with no plans. Her DH is ignoring her wishes on Mothers Day.

DH can celebrate his mom Saturday.

If this were me, I'd be pissed. And use the time to get a nice expensive Korean facial, scalp treatment, and a mani/pedi. You wanna ignore me? Fine. I'll handle it.

She said she wanted nothing. She didn’t even say she wanted to relax with the family. Why can’t DH plan something with the kids and his Mom, while she does nothing?

I cannot imagine spending my life or even being very close friends with someone who does not understand the power of one full day of nothingness.

[Anonymous]

You are not the %#!!….

You deserve at least one day a year to call the shots‼️
As a Mother I actually think you deserve more but this Sunday should be 1000% your day to do ->> nothing. Zilch. Zero. Nada……

I don’t see how your husband does not understand this.
And yes - - having a houseguest spend the entire weekend in your home does not equate the type of peace that you deserve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not reading all the replies blaming OP because I agree with her. No plans means no plans and no guests and they are already seeing the MIL for two days before. Team OP. We too are doing “nothing” OP, and my DH is thankful I’m not demanding some big fete but also knows that nothing means nothing.

Why is OP forcing everyone to do nothing. If she wants to do nothing, that's fine. Her husband and the kids don't want to stay bored doing nothing, they can make their own plans and do something. OP can stay and do nothing. Nobody is asking her to do anything.

Because she was asked what she wanted and told them. To be home and relaxing with family with no plans. Her DH is ignoring her wishes on Mothers Day.

DH can celebrate his mom Saturday.

If this were me, I'd be pissed. And use the time to get a nice expensive Korean facial, scalp treatment, and a mani/pedi. You wanna ignore me? Fine. I'll handle it.

She said she wanted nothing. She didn’t even say she wanted to relax with the family. Why can’t DH plan something with the kids and his Mom, while she does nothing?

I cannot imagine spending my life or even being very close friends with someone who does not understand the power of one full day of nothingness.

Me neither. 🤷🏻

[Anonymous]

You seem difficult. Check into a hotel room Sunday and take off work on Monday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you make plans with another disgruntled mother friend and go out to brunch & drink champagne?

OP said “no plans”. Nothing.

And the biggest most important part of that plan was NOT hosting houseguests.

The husband is a turd

Nobody is asking OP to host anyone. You are implying this.