How to handle family funeral while in the process of of converting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am with the people calling troll.

1. An experienced Catholic knows communion is at the end of Mass and a time of reverence. Her mom won’t say anything to her until after Mass. But OP is talking like she wants to take a preventive talk/excuse to her family?

2. I don’t know any even nominal, C&E Catholic who does not know about the arm crossed blessing. Practically every pastor emphasizes it especially at C&E services.

3. Someone who has been raised in the Catholic Church knows exactly what the meaning of communion is. So unless OP is keeping her apostasy a secret, the easiest built in excuse and technically honest explanation is that she is not in a spiritual state to receive communion.

I was probably 20 before I knew about it. I didn't see anyone do it growing up.

It’s what the kids old enough to walk in the Communion line (as opposed to being carried by a parent) who haven’t received first communion do. How did you not see that? Was there a different norm in your parish?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am with the people calling troll.

1. An experienced Catholic knows communion is at the end of Mass and a time of reverence. Her mom won’t say anything to her until after Mass. But OP is talking like she wants to take a preventive talk/excuse to her family?

2. I don’t know any even nominal, C&E Catholic who does not know about the arm crossed blessing. Practically every pastor emphasizes it especially at C&E services.

3. Someone who has been raised in the Catholic Church knows exactly what the meaning of communion is. So unless OP is keeping her apostasy a secret, the easiest built in excuse and technically honest explanation is that she is not in a spiritual state to receive communion.

I was probably 20 before I knew about it. I didn't see anyone do it growing up.

It’s what the kids old enough to walk in the Communion line (as opposed to being carried by a parent) who haven’t received first communion do. How did you not see that? Was there a different norm in your parish?

We sat in the pew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am with the people calling troll.

1. An experienced Catholic knows communion is at the end of Mass and a time of reverence. Her mom won’t say anything to her until after Mass. But OP is talking like she wants to take a preventive talk/excuse to her family?

2. I don’t know any even nominal, C&E Catholic who does not know about the arm crossed blessing. Practically every pastor emphasizes it especially at C&E services.

3. Someone who has been raised in the Catholic Church knows exactly what the meaning of communion is. So unless OP is keeping her apostasy a secret, the easiest built in excuse and technically honest explanation is that she is not in a spiritual state to receive communion.

I was probably 20 before I knew about it. I didn't see anyone do it growing up.

It’s what the kids old enough to walk in the Communion line (as opposed to being carried by a parent) who haven’t received first communion do. How did you not see that? Was there a different norm in your parish?

We sat in the pew.

Us too.

[Anonymous]

So OPs "very devout" parents never taught her this simple rule about crossing the arms for a blessing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So OPs "very devout" parents never taught her this simple rule about crossing the arms for a blessing?

While it is probably the best solution for OP in her particular situation, the whole “crossed arms = blessing” in the “communion procession” is a fairly recent innovation as things go, and not necessarily something her parents would’ve taught her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OPs "very devout" parents never taught her this simple rule about crossing the arms for a blessing?

While it is probably the best solution for OP in her particular situation, the whole “crossed arms = blessing” in the “communion procession” is a fairly recent innovation as things go, and not necessarily something her parents would’ve taught her.

Did she never go to CCD? Or Faith Formation or whatever it's called now? Obviously not Catholic school or she would also have had a lot more Mass experience.

[Anonymous]

Any update OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OPs "very devout" parents never taught her this simple rule about crossing the arms for a blessing?

While it is probably the best solution for OP in her particular situation, the whole “crossed arms = blessing” in the “communion procession” is a fairly recent innovation as things go, and not necessarily something her parents would’ve taught her.

Did she never go to CCD? Or Faith Formation or whatever it's called now? Obviously not Catholic school or she would also have had a lot more Mass experience.

Not sure how many more people need to tell you that going up for a blessing was not common in our very Catholic upbringings. You just sat in the pew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OPs "very devout" parents never taught her this simple rule about crossing the arms for a blessing?

While it is probably the best solution for OP in her particular situation, the whole “crossed arms = blessing” in the “communion procession” is a fairly recent innovation as things go, and not necessarily something her parents would’ve taught her.

Did she never go to CCD? Or Faith Formation or whatever it's called now? Obviously not Catholic school or she would also have had a lot more Mass experience.

Not sure how many more people need to tell you that going up for a blessing was not common in our very Catholic upbringings. You just sat in the pew.

+1. I went to public school and CCD. My spouse went to a private Catholic school. Neither one of us saw this growing up.

It's probably the sort of thing where even if you know about it, you're not going to do it if you don't see other people doing it. I know some non-catholic spouses would simply get communion. Nobody cared. It was a small town- I'm sure the priest knew, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OPs "very devout" parents never taught her this simple rule about crossing the arms for a blessing?

While it is probably the best solution for OP in her particular situation, the whole “crossed arms = blessing” in the “communion procession” is a fairly recent innovation as things go, and not necessarily something her parents would’ve taught her.

Did she never go to CCD? Or Faith Formation or whatever it's called now? Obviously not Catholic school or she would also have had a lot more Mass experience.

You’re not comprehending. The whole “procession” and “crossed arms = blessing” is an invention (like communion in the hand) with no foundation in the rubrics. It is not an “official” action. OP may well have been left in the pews before she was old enough to be admitted to the Eucharist, and after that would have had no reason to know about “blessings” in the communion line. She clearly was well-trained enough to understand that someone not properly disposed should not go to communion.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Funeral was today. It was a beautiful service and a beautiful day.

I put one of my arms across my chest (the other was carrying my toddler) and my other child did the same.

I suppose there's a chance my mom may bring it up later because I know she saw that I didn't take communion but probably not.

I appreciate everyone's comments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OPs "very devout" parents never taught her this simple rule about crossing the arms for a blessing?

While it is probably the best solution for OP in her particular situation, the whole “crossed arms = blessing” in the “communion procession” is a fairly recent innovation as things go, and not necessarily something her parents would’ve taught her.

It started in the late 80s by Dale Fushek, so about 40 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OPs "very devout" parents never taught her this simple rule about crossing the arms for a blessing?

While it is probably the best solution for OP in her particular situation, the whole “crossed arms = blessing” in the “communion procession” is a fairly recent innovation as things go, and not necessarily something her parents would’ve taught her.

It started in the late 80s by Dale Fushek, so about 40 years ago.

Here is the former (ex-communicated) Father Fushek's wikipedia page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dale_Fushek

It includes this: In February 2010, the Diocese of Phoenix announced that based on an investigation by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Pope Benedict XVI approved a "decree of dismissal" laicizing Fushek.[10] According to church law, the congregation is responsible for addressing "sexual sins" perpetrated by priests and deacons against minors. Fushek chose not to participate or defend himself in the process.[11]

and later, this: ... In late 2007, Fushek and former priest Mark Dippre established a non-denominational Christian assembly called the Praise and Worship Center. Services started at Thanksgiving 2007 and have attracted between 500 and 700 people[14] to the Center in Chandler, Arizona. ...On December 15, 2008, the Bishop of Phoenix, Thomas J. Olmsted, issued a decree of excommunication against Fushek and Dippre. A statement issued by the Diocese of Phoenix said that Fushek and Dippre incurred the censure of excommunication because they chose to be in schism with the Catholic Church by establishing and leading an opposing ecclesial community known to the public as the Praise and Worship Center. Both priests consistently refused to comply with explicit directions by Bishop Olmsted to discontinue engaging in public ministry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Funeral was today. It was a beautiful service and a beautiful day.

I put one of my arms across my chest (the other was carrying my toddler) and my other child did the same.

I suppose there's a chance my mom may bring it up later because I know she saw that I didn't take communion but probably not.

I appreciate everyone's comments.

God bless you and your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Funeral was today. It was a beautiful service and a beautiful day.

I put one of my arms across my chest (the other was carrying my toddler) and my other child did the same.

I suppose there's a chance my mom may bring it up later because I know she saw that I didn't take communion but probably not.

I appreciate everyone's comments.

God bless you and your family.

OP here. Thank you so much. Her viewing and funeral were both very hard days. I didn't want to leave her..