Is dating just a means to an end for 50+ men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

She’s being told that the getting to know you activities on dates don’t matter to men over 50. They prefer first date sex and if it’s a good experience, they’ll invest time in a second date.

Single man over 50 here - not true at all. The first several dates (for me anyway) are all about getting to know her. I have no expectation of sex on the first date.

Same here. I've done it on second dates a few times but usually I wait longer than that before trying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 40sF who dates men from 25-55.

She needs to fire her dating coach. Do some men want sex on the first date? Yes. Are there men who don’t? Also yes. At no point should she ever sleep with a man just to try to keep him.

She needs to get clear on what she wants and what she will and won’t do. For example, I’m very clear and upfront that I am dating for marriage. Sometimes I do sleep with men on a first date if I’m very attracted to them, knowing full well it’s just going to be a good time for us both with zero expectations of a second date. Sometimes I’ll go on 10 dates with a man I’m not attracted to but he has marriage potential, and I won’t sleep with him because the chemistry just doesn’t grow. And everything in between (such as currently sleeping with a man where the sex is ok, good not great, but he loves to spoil me with gifts and trips so it’s fine for now).

She needs to get comfortable with doing whatever SHE wants, not trying to bend to what men want.

As a 45 years old woman tell me about your dating experience dating a man who is 25 ie 20 years younger. Besides sex which we all is obviously amazing, what else is exciting about dating a 25 years old man?

They just have a different perspective on life. Older men are often jaded, most have been through a divorce or two, and are just bitter at the world. Younger guys are still full of life, they have interests beyond their 401k.

One younger man I dated was a personal trainer and we'd workout together. It was FUN. We'd go to the track and race each other, or he'd teach me MMA. Most older men can't do that.

They also appreciate what I can provide for them. I take them to restaurants or on trips they couldn't afford themselves.

Often it feels like you're a teenager again. They want to go do fun things together, like hookup in the car in a mall parking lot, go to an arcade and compete against each other, even talk on the phone late at night.

Did your ex husband neglect you? You sound like you have been neglected for a very long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 40sF who dates men from 25-55.

She needs to fire her dating coach. Do some men want sex on the first date? Yes. Are there men who don’t? Also yes. At no point should she ever sleep with a man just to try to keep him.

She needs to get clear on what she wants and what she will and won’t do. For example, I’m very clear and upfront that I am dating for marriage. Sometimes I do sleep with men on a first date if I’m very attracted to them, knowing full well it’s just going to be a good time for us both with zero expectations of a second date. Sometimes I’ll go on 10 dates with a man I’m not attracted to but he has marriage potential, and I won’t sleep with him because the chemistry just doesn’t grow. And everything in between (such as currently sleeping with a man where the sex is ok, good not great, but he loves to spoil me with gifts and trips so it’s fine for now).

She needs to get comfortable with doing whatever SHE wants, not trying to bend to what men want.

As a 45 years old woman tell me about your dating experience dating a man who is 25 ie 20 years younger. Besides sex which we all is obviously amazing, what else is exciting about dating a 25 years old man?

Pure speculation, but you'd get high energy, openness, less cynicism more optimism, more fun-loving and not yet weighed down by life.

My date with a 29 y.o. is in about 30 minutes. He said I will be the first woman he will ever meet in person through the app and is so excited, sent me so many messages and compliments over the last few days, even asked what outfit I’m going to wear so that he could match. On the other hand, I matched with some 56 y.o. who said that “his experience over the years on the dating apps has been…” - and I just unmatched him without responding. If someone has spent years on the app without any commitment, I don’t need him either.

Enjoy it. I was once a 29 years old man. At that age, successful women do impress us. At that age we are also curious about sex with an older woman. Most importantly though we know the relationship will be purely sexual and that's it. You are not going to find many 29 years old men looking to seriously date a woman in her 40s. They are not interested in bringing home someone thats a slightly a younger version of their mom. And if they do, their moms will be the first to tell them to find someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a newly divorced man in his 50s, I ll say she is better off with a much younger man since she is only 50. A lot of divorced men in their 50s such as myself are often squeezed to the max financially between alimony child support and college tuition expenses etc.

I think she will have a better experience is she stays in the bracket 35-45.

To answer your question since I really can't offer a woman who is seeking a serious relationship anything given how squeezed I am financially and also being an executive in my mid 50s, I just date casually and expect sex as soon as possible. And I am upfront about it, I won't lie to any woman. Sure I make $425k, but I have 3 kids in college and ex-wife to support. So relationship is just not reasonable.

Relationships are not a financial agreement. It is sad (and disrespectful of women) that you think that is all they are based on.

Oh, come on. You know very well that if a woman posted to say that she has begun dating a man who has kids in college, is supporting an ex-wife, and who has told her he doesn't have financial resources to devote to a new relationship and feels "squeezed" for time/energy due to his job, the majority of DCUM posters would be advising her to move on. This guy is being honest and realistic.

100% this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a newly divorced man in his 50s, I ll say she is better off with a much younger man since she is only 50. A lot of divorced men in their 50s such as myself are often squeezed to the max financially between alimony child support and college tuition expenses etc.

I think she will have a better experience is she stays in the bracket 35-45.

To answer your question since I really can't offer a woman who is seeking a serious relationship anything given how squeezed I am financially and also being an executive in my mid 50s, I just date casually and expect sex as soon as possible. And I am upfront about it, I won't lie to any woman. Sure I make $425k, but I have 3 kids in college and ex-wife to support. So relationship is just not reasonable.

Relationships are not a financial agreement. It is sad (and disrespectful of women) that you think that is all they are based on.

I also hate that he says he “ EXPECTS sex ASAP,” versus “desires” or “hopes” for it.
Gross. No wonder he was cut loose.

(Buddy, please get counseling. Your attitudes would turn off any healthy woman.)

+1. As a woman though I'll say successful men like OP are narcissist. For many of these men, they will still finding women who will give them what they want. He sounds just like my ex husband, who is still living his life at 63 as if he was a young bachelor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 40sF who dates men from 25-55.

She needs to fire her dating coach. Do some men want sex on the first date? Yes. Are there men who don’t? Also yes. At no point should she ever sleep with a man just to try to keep him.

She needs to get clear on what she wants and what she will and won’t do. For example, I’m very clear and upfront that I am dating for marriage. Sometimes I do sleep with men on a first date if I’m very attracted to them, knowing full well it’s just going to be a good time for us both with zero expectations of a second date. Sometimes I’ll go on 10 dates with a man I’m not attracted to but he has marriage potential, and I won’t sleep with him because the chemistry just doesn’t grow. And everything in between (such as currently sleeping with a man where the sex is ok, good not great, but he loves to spoil me with gifts and trips so it’s fine for now).

She needs to get comfortable with doing whatever SHE wants, not trying to bend to what men want.

As a 45 years old woman tell me about your dating experience dating a man who is 25 ie 20 years younger. Besides sex which we all is obviously amazing, what else is exciting about dating a 25 years old man?

They just have a different perspective on life. Older men are often jaded, most have been through a divorce or two, and are just bitter at the world. Younger guys are still full of life, they have interests beyond their 401k.

One younger man I dated was a personal trainer and we'd workout together. It was FUN. We'd go to the track and race each other, or he'd teach me MMA. Most older men can't do that.

They also appreciate what I can provide for them. I take them to restaurants or on trips they couldn't afford themselves.

Often it feels like you're a teenager again. They want to go do fun things together, like hookup in the car in a mall parking lot, go to an arcade and compete against each other, even talk on the phone late at night.

Sounds like a female version of a passport bro/sex tourists LMAO

Nope, nothing like passport bros. Passport bros and sex tourists can’t land any women in their home country, so they go overseas to exploit people in poverty. I have zero problem landing men in their US, and none of them need me for money. I’ll splurge a bit on them if needed but they still have jobs and pay their own bills.

An old hen bragging about spreading her legs and paying for sex actually sounds worse than a passport bro.

Someone's jealous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 40sF who dates men from 25-55.

She needs to fire her dating coach. Do some men want sex on the first date? Yes. Are there men who don’t? Also yes. At no point should she ever sleep with a man just to try to keep him.

She needs to get clear on what she wants and what she will and won’t do. For example, I’m very clear and upfront that I am dating for marriage. Sometimes I do sleep with men on a first date if I’m very attracted to them, knowing full well it’s just going to be a good time for us both with zero expectations of a second date. Sometimes I’ll go on 10 dates with a man I’m not attracted to but he has marriage potential, and I won’t sleep with him because the chemistry just doesn’t grow. And everything in between (such as currently sleeping with a man where the sex is ok, good not great, but he loves to spoil me with gifts and trips so it’s fine for now).

She needs to get comfortable with doing whatever SHE wants, not trying to bend to what men want.

As a 45 years old woman tell me about your dating experience dating a man who is 25 ie 20 years younger. Besides sex which we all is obviously amazing, what else is exciting about dating a 25 years old man?

They just have a different perspective on life. Older men are often jaded, most have been through a divorce or two, and are just bitter at the world. Younger guys are still full of life, they have interests beyond their 401k.

One younger man I dated was a personal trainer and we'd workout together. It was FUN. We'd go to the track and race each other, or he'd teach me MMA. Most older men can't do that.

They also appreciate what I can provide for them. I take them to restaurants or on trips they couldn't afford themselves.

Often it feels like you're a teenager again. They want to go do fun things together, like hookup in the car in a mall parking lot, go to an arcade and compete against each other, even talk on the phone late at night.

Sounds like a female version of a passport bro/sex tourists LMAO

Nope, nothing like passport bros. Passport bros and sex tourists can’t land any women in their home country, so they go overseas to exploit people in poverty. I have zero problem landing men in their US, and none of them need me for money. I’ll splurge a bit on them if needed but they still have jobs and pay their own bills.

An old hen bragging about spreading her legs and paying for sex actually sounds worse than a passport bro.

Someone's jealous.

I’m a different PP and also dated younger. But they all take me out and pay for dates. I would never pay and the men wouldn’t allow me …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 40sF who dates men from 25-55.

She needs to fire her dating coach. Do some men want sex on the first date? Yes. Are there men who don’t? Also yes. At no point should she ever sleep with a man just to try to keep him.

She needs to get clear on what she wants and what she will and won’t do. For example, I’m very clear and upfront that I am dating for marriage. Sometimes I do sleep with men on a first date if I’m very attracted to them, knowing full well it’s just going to be a good time for us both with zero expectations of a second date. Sometimes I’ll go on 10 dates with a man I’m not attracted to but he has marriage potential, and I won’t sleep with him because the chemistry just doesn’t grow. And everything in between (such as currently sleeping with a man where the sex is ok, good not great, but he loves to spoil me with gifts and trips so it’s fine for now).

She needs to get comfortable with doing whatever SHE wants, not trying to bend to what men want.

As a 45 years old woman tell me about your dating experience dating a man who is 25 ie 20 years younger. Besides sex which we all is obviously amazing, what else is exciting about dating a 25 years old man?

Pure speculation, but you'd get high energy, openness, less cynicism more optimism, more fun-loving and not yet weighed down by life.

My date with a 29 y.o. is in about 30 minutes. He said I will be the first woman he will ever meet in person through the app and is so excited, sent me so many messages and compliments over the last few days, even asked what outfit I’m going to wear so that he could match. On the other hand, I matched with some 56 y.o. who said that “his experience over the years on the dating apps has been…” - and I just unmatched him without responding. If someone has spent years on the app without any commitment, I don’t need him either.

Enjoy it. I was once a 29 years old man. At that age, successful women do impress us. At that age we are also curious about sex with an older woman. Most importantly though we know the relationship will be purely sexual and that's it. You are not going to find many 29 years old men looking to seriously date a woman in her 40s. They are not interested in bringing home someone thats a slightly a younger version of their mom. And if they do, their moms will be the first to tell them to find someone else.

PP here back home from the date. It went really well, we hiked in a park, he is smart, educated, and super athletic, getting ready for the Ironman. I’m not looking for any serious relationship with him either.

[Anonymous]

I’ve never expected it or rarely wanted sex on the first date. Maybe I’m old fashioned but I like to get to know someone first. I have had first date sex when it’s been made very clear that that is what she wants but there is no second date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 40sF who dates men from 25-55.

She needs to fire her dating coach. Do some men want sex on the first date? Yes. Are there men who don’t? Also yes. At no point should she ever sleep with a man just to try to keep him.

She needs to get clear on what she wants and what she will and won’t do. For example, I’m very clear and upfront that I am dating for marriage. Sometimes I do sleep with men on a first date if I’m very attracted to them, knowing full well it’s just going to be a good time for us both with zero expectations of a second date. Sometimes I’ll go on 10 dates with a man I’m not attracted to but he has marriage potential, and I won’t sleep with him because the chemistry just doesn’t grow. And everything in between (such as currently sleeping with a man where the sex is ok, good not great, but he loves to spoil me with gifts and trips so it’s fine for now).

She needs to get comfortable with doing whatever SHE wants, not trying to bend to what men want.

As a 45 years old woman tell me about your dating experience dating a man who is 25 ie 20 years younger. Besides sex which we all is obviously amazing, what else is exciting about dating a 25 years old man?

Pure speculation, but you'd get high energy, openness, less cynicism more optimism, more fun-loving and not yet weighed down by life.

Exactly. The optimism is truly refreshing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 40sF who dates men from 25-55.

She needs to fire her dating coach. Do some men want sex on the first date? Yes. Are there men who don’t? Also yes. At no point should she ever sleep with a man just to try to keep him.

She needs to get clear on what she wants and what she will and won’t do. For example, I’m very clear and upfront that I am dating for marriage. Sometimes I do sleep with men on a first date if I’m very attracted to them, knowing full well it’s just going to be a good time for us both with zero expectations of a second date. Sometimes I’ll go on 10 dates with a man I’m not attracted to but he has marriage potential, and I won’t sleep with him because the chemistry just doesn’t grow. And everything in between (such as currently sleeping with a man where the sex is ok, good not great, but he loves to spoil me with gifts and trips so it’s fine for now).

She needs to get comfortable with doing whatever SHE wants, not trying to bend to what men want.

As a 45 years old woman tell me about your dating experience dating a man who is 25 ie 20 years younger. Besides sex which we all is obviously amazing, what else is exciting about dating a 25 years old man?

Pure speculation, but you'd get high energy, openness, less cynicism more optimism, more fun-loving and not yet weighed down by life.

Exactly. The optimism is truly refreshing.

So true! I’m the PP that just came back from a date with a young man. Another 26 y.o. man is planning a date at a restaurant with me and texted tonight: “I’m sure it’ll be a great date! We’ll have a great time and go on more dates in the future”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men dating over 50 want a nurse and a housekeeper. Maybe a social chair. Hard pass.

Cruise director. Go pick a vacation.

Men over 50 are just looking for someone to plan their vacations? Now I've heard it all.

And their health appointments, and their meals, and their visits with their adult kids, and their holidays, and their restaurant picks. You know, woman work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't dating a means to an end for men of all ages?

And women too. They're on the apps because they want to get something out of it. Nothing wrong with that.

What are the main things they want to “get out of it?

What are these “means to an end” you cliche on about?

Pls provide examples - separate ones or ones that overlap.

A means to an end is an activity or process done in order to accomplish a goal.
Often, the activity itself is not enjoyable or considered important.
The phrase means to an end is used to describe things that a person considers to be necessary to suffer through in order to achieve their ultimate goal.

[Anonymous]

A DATE is the means to a…. Free dinner? Sex? Marriage? Not being bored? Looking like a family guy again? Sex? Get back at ex? Show my adult kids I’m likable and wonderful? Make more babies? Sex? Nurse & a purse? Show mom her son is fantastic and the ex is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 40sF who dates men from 25-55.

She needs to fire her dating coach. Do some men want sex on the first date? Yes. Are there men who don’t? Also yes. At no point should she ever sleep with a man just to try to keep him.

She needs to get clear on what she wants and what she will and won’t do. For example, I’m very clear and upfront that I am dating for marriage. Sometimes I do sleep with men on a first date if I’m very attracted to them, knowing full well it’s just going to be a good time for us both with zero expectations of a second date. Sometimes I’ll go on 10 dates with a man I’m not attracted to but he has marriage potential, and I won’t sleep with him because the chemistry just doesn’t grow. And everything in between (such as currently sleeping with a man where the sex is ok, good not great, but he loves to spoil me with gifts and trips so it’s fine for now).

She needs to get comfortable with doing whatever SHE wants, not trying to bend to what men want.

As a 45 years old woman tell me about your dating experience dating a man who is 25 ie 20 years younger. Besides sex which we all is obviously amazing, what else is exciting about dating a 25 years old man?

They just have a different perspective on life. Older men are often jaded, most have been through a divorce or two, and are just bitter at the world. Younger guys are still full of life, they have interests beyond their 401k.

One younger man I dated was a personal trainer and we'd workout together. It was FUN. We'd go to the track and race each other, or he'd teach me MMA. Most older men can't do that.

They also appreciate what I can provide for them. I take them to restaurants or on trips they couldn't afford themselves.

Often it feels like you're a teenager again. They want to go do fun things together, like hookup in the car in a mall parking lot, go to an arcade and compete against each other, even talk on the phone late at night.

Did your ex husband neglect you? You sound like you have been neglected for a very long time.

LOL, jerk.


Limerence is fun, and nothing like a long term marriage. I mean- I’m sure that you having time to post here on a thread about divorced 50+ men. I mean- if your chiming in here isn’t proof of your amazing hot marriage I don’t know what is. Thank you, quoted posted. Everyone is jealous of you.