Husband doesn’t want me to get surgery

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Don’t do that to him. It’s not fair to demand something for your vanity that costs lots of money and puts you at risk. He is in a no-win situation — if he objects, he isn’t supportive. If he agrees, however reluctantly, you have wasted a ton of money. And this is addictive— you will want more later.

This just isn’t true based on myself and a few friends I know who’ve had one procedure to fix something cause in pregnancy and nothing else.

But people who have plastic surgery are inherently shallow and insecure and many of them will never be satisfied. They will just fixate on the next thing they think is wrong with them.

You just described my sister who has had more procedures than anyone here I guarantee and still keeps picking herself apart in pictures. However that doesn’t mean OP is like this.

It’s just YOUR sister issues. In reality many women had one surgery fixing a specific area. And then we’re done with that.
I’ve had a lipo and breast implants 5 years ago. Never went to surgeon again as I’m very happy with outcome and workout a lot to maintain the results

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Don’t do that to him. It’s not fair to demand something for your vanity that costs lots of money and puts you at risk. He is in a no-win situation — if he objects, he isn’t supportive. If he agrees, however reluctantly, you have wasted a ton of money. And this is addictive— you will want more later.

This just isn’t true based on myself and a few friends I know who’ve had one procedure to fix something cause in pregnancy and nothing else.

But people who have plastic surgery are inherently shallow and insecure and many of them will never be satisfied. They will just fixate on the next thing they think is wrong with them.

I will be sure to let my friend who had implants after a double mastectomy know what you think of her.

Please do. Am I supposed to make an exception for that? Because, why? She had cancer? You can eff right off with that nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Don’t do that to him. It’s not fair to demand something for your vanity that costs lots of money and puts you at risk. He is in a no-win situation — if he objects, he isn’t supportive. If he agrees, however reluctantly, you have wasted a ton of money. And this is addictive— you will want more later.

This just isn’t true based on myself and a few friends I know who’ve had one procedure to fix something cause in pregnancy and nothing else.

But people who have plastic surgery are inherently shallow and insecure and many of them will never be satisfied. They will just fixate on the next thing they think is wrong with them.

I will be sure to let my friend who had implants after a double mastectomy know what you think of her.

Please do. Am I supposed to make an exception for that? Because, why? She had cancer? You can eff right off with that nonsense.

You are an awful person. Why live with a deformity when there is no need to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I didn’t realize the hate and arguments this would stir up. I will put off the breast for now since some say your boobs go back to normal.

For the posters calling me vain, I don’t care! I don’t want attention from other men. I love that my husband loves my body, but I still need to love my body.

You do need to love your body, as it is. Stop thinking that you'll love it once you've changed it. That's not love in any relationship, including your relationship to yourself.

You're weird.

It's 2025, and womankind are free to chose what to do with their bodies to make themselves happy. Botox, nose job, boob job, nothing to see here move along.

Nobody said you weren't free to choose. Smart people are saying you should consider all the possibilities so you can make a smart choice. "I don't feel good so I'll buy my way out of my feelings" is rarely a sustainable strategy. It's okay to push back on a culture that tells us we need to buy things for our bodies, or even buy body parts/adjustments, in order to feel good.

Nothing about recovery from this procedure feels good, by the way. And if the results don't make you feel good, then what? And for what? OP is mildly bummed about her not-even-all-the-way post-baby body. Instead of rushing to surgically alter things, maybe accept that your body made and fed a whole human?! Maybe analyze why you're not willing to accept minor boob sag, even though you clearly know that gravity works and age is an inevitability?

Choose, sure. Choose wisely is the only advice being offered here.

You're way over analyzing this.

A boob lift isn't rocket science, it's not a facelift. Been done millions of times. The other procedures, well, not sure will work at all.

Buddy, you're clueless. Educate yourself: https://www.plasticsurgery.org/cosmetic-procedures/breast-lift/procedure Beyond the clinical aspects of this, there's often significant sensation loss (for reasons that are obvious when you understand what happens during this procedure), lasting asymmetry, scarring and possibly complications. No, it's not "rocket science" but it's not as simple as buying a wonderbra and calling it a day.

What I said was "Choose, sure. Choose wisely is the only advice being offered here." and I stand by it. The only people arguing are mostly making trolling shitposts like yours that allege people suggesting thought before decisionmaking are somehow "weird". Nah, just adults. Since this is an adult decision, it should be considered thoroughly. Yes, sure, "been done millions of times", and I don't have an exact fail rate, but a simple search for "botched breast lift" reveals there's been at least a few problems. Knowing that isn't a bad thing. Make an informed choice (aka choose wisely).

What a magnanimous post! Now if only it were true. It seems obvious that your “choose wisely” advice is directly saying “there is only one wise choice, idiot”. It’s much more a threat or a warning than advice.

It’s also absolutely hilarious how the opinions here “don’t do it, you are vain and selfish! Learn to be an adult and love your body!”are so shrill and trying to make this seem so extreme. Yet these procedures are so popular there are waiting lists a year out. Stop acting like this is such a shocking decision. You come across as extremely weird.

You have comprehension troubles and a victim complex. Popularity isn't safety. Logic isn't your strength, is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I didn’t realize the hate and arguments this would stir up. I will put off the breast for now since some say your boobs go back to normal.

For the posters calling me vain, I don’t care! I don’t want attention from other men. I love that my husband loves my body, but I still need to love my body.

You do need to love your body, as it is. Stop thinking that you'll love it once you've changed it. That's not love in any relationship, including your relationship to yourself.

You're weird.

It's 2025, and womankind are free to chose what to do with their bodies to make themselves happy. Botox, nose job, boob job, nothing to see here move along.

Nobody said you weren't free to choose. Smart people are saying you should consider all the possibilities so you can make a smart choice. "I don't feel good so I'll buy my way out of my feelings" is rarely a sustainable strategy. It's okay to push back on a culture that tells us we need to buy things for our bodies, or even buy body parts/adjustments, in order to feel good.

Nothing about recovery from this procedure feels good, by the way. And if the results don't make you feel good, then what? And for what? OP is mildly bummed about her not-even-all-the-way post-baby body. Instead of rushing to surgically alter things, maybe accept that your body made and fed a whole human?! Maybe analyze why you're not willing to accept minor boob sag, even though you clearly know that gravity works and age is an inevitability?

Choose, sure. Choose wisely is the only advice being offered here.

You're way over analyzing this.

A boob lift isn't rocket science, it's not a facelift. Been done millions of times. The other procedures, well, not sure will work at all.

Buddy, you're clueless. Educate yourself: https://www.plasticsurgery.org/cosmetic-procedures/breast-lift/procedure Beyond the clinical aspects of this, there's often significant sensation loss (for reasons that are obvious when you understand what happens during this procedure), lasting asymmetry, scarring and possibly complications. No, it's not "rocket science" but it's not as simple as buying a wonderbra and calling it a day.

What I said was "Choose, sure. Choose wisely is the only advice being offered here." and I stand by it. The only people arguing are mostly making trolling shitposts like yours that allege people suggesting thought before decisionmaking are somehow "weird". Nah, just adults. Since this is an adult decision, it should be considered thoroughly. Yes, sure, "been done millions of times", and I don't have an exact fail rate, but a simple search for "botched breast lift" reveals there's been at least a few problems. Knowing that isn't a bad thing. Make an informed choice (aka choose wisely).

What a magnanimous post! Now if only it were true. It seems obvious that your “choose wisely” advice is directly saying “there is only one wise choice, idiot”. It’s much more a threat or a warning than advice.

It’s also absolutely hilarious how the opinions here “don’t do it, you are vain and selfish! Learn to be an adult and love your body!”are so shrill and trying to make this seem so extreme. Yet these procedures are so popular there are waiting lists a year out. Stop acting like this is such a shocking decision. You come across as extremely weird.

DP, if refusing to normalize surgery that is 100% about vanity is extremely weird, well, I’m okay with being extremely weird.

You do you. But stop acting like she’s considering something so bizarre when your views are definitely the dated ones.

No, as you said, I am going to keep being me. That includes refusing to normalize the ridiculous. Sorry you are fragile. Spend a little of that money on therapy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I didn’t realize the hate and arguments this would stir up. I will put off the breast for now since some say your boobs go back to normal.

For the posters calling me vain, I don’t care! I don’t want attention from other men. I love that my husband loves my body, but I still need to love my body.

You do need to love your body, as it is. Stop thinking that you'll love it once you've changed it. That's not love in any relationship, including your relationship to yourself.

You're weird.

It's 2025, and womankind are free to chose what to do with their bodies to make themselves happy. Botox, nose job, boob job, nothing to see here move along.

Nobody said you weren't free to choose. Smart people are saying you should consider all the possibilities so you can make a smart choice. "I don't feel good so I'll buy my way out of my feelings" is rarely a sustainable strategy. It's okay to push back on a culture that tells us we need to buy things for our bodies, or even buy body parts/adjustments, in order to feel good.

Nothing about recovery from this procedure feels good, by the way. And if the results don't make you feel good, then what? And for what? OP is mildly bummed about her not-even-all-the-way post-baby body. Instead of rushing to surgically alter things, maybe accept that your body made and fed a whole human?! Maybe analyze why you're not willing to accept minor boob sag, even though you clearly know that gravity works and age is an inevitability?

Choose, sure. Choose wisely is the only advice being offered here.

You're way over analyzing this.

A boob lift isn't rocket science, it's not a facelift. Been done millions of times. The other procedures, well, not sure will work at all.

Buddy, you're clueless. Educate yourself: https://www.plasticsurgery.org/cosmetic-procedures/breast-lift/procedure Beyond the clinical aspects of this, there's often significant sensation loss (for reasons that are obvious when you understand what happens during this procedure), lasting asymmetry, scarring and possibly complications. No, it's not "rocket science" but it's not as simple as buying a wonderbra and calling it a day.

What I said was "Choose, sure. Choose wisely is the only advice being offered here." and I stand by it. The only people arguing are mostly making trolling shitposts like yours that allege people suggesting thought before decisionmaking are somehow "weird". Nah, just adults. Since this is an adult decision, it should be considered thoroughly. Yes, sure, "been done millions of times", and I don't have an exact fail rate, but a simple search for "botched breast lift" reveals there's been at least a few problems. Knowing that isn't a bad thing. Make an informed choice (aka choose wisely).

What a magnanimous post! Now if only it were true. It seems obvious that your “choose wisely” advice is directly saying “there is only one wise choice, idiot”. It’s much more a threat or a warning than advice.

It’s also absolutely hilarious how the opinions here “don’t do it, you are vain and selfish! Learn to be an adult and love your body!”are so shrill and trying to make this seem so extreme. Yet these procedures are so popular there are waiting lists a year out. Stop acting like this is such a shocking decision. You come across as extremely weird.

DP, if refusing to normalize surgery that is 100% about vanity is extremely weird, well, I’m okay with being extremely weird.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Don’t do that to him. It’s not fair to demand something for your vanity that costs lots of money and puts you at risk. He is in a no-win situation — if he objects, he isn’t supportive. If he agrees, however reluctantly, you have wasted a ton of money. And this is addictive— you will want more later.

This just isn’t true based on myself and a few friends I know who’ve had one procedure to fix something cause in pregnancy and nothing else.

But people who have plastic surgery are inherently shallow and insecure and many of them will never be satisfied. They will just fixate on the next thing they think is wrong with them.

I will be sure to let my friend who had implants after a double mastectomy know what you think of her.

You know your argument sucks when you need to call in unrelated strawmen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Don’t do that to him. It’s not fair to demand something for your vanity that costs lots of money and puts you at risk. He is in a no-win situation — if he objects, he isn’t supportive. If he agrees, however reluctantly, you have wasted a ton of money. And this is addictive— you will want more later.

This just isn’t true based on myself and a few friends I know who’ve had one procedure to fix something cause in pregnancy and nothing else.

But people who have plastic surgery are inherently shallow and insecure and many of them will never be satisfied. They will just fixate on the next thing they think is wrong with them.

You just described my sister who has had more procedures than anyone here I guarantee and still keeps picking herself apart in pictures. However that doesn’t mean OP is like this.

It’s just YOUR sister issues. In reality many women had one surgery fixing a specific area. And then we’re done with that.
I’ve had a lipo and breast implants 5 years ago. Never went to surgeon again as I’m very happy with outcome and workout a lot to maintain the results

So two procedures? What’s up with your counting.

[Anonymous]

Wait another year just because you recently weaned and then go for it, assuming this was the last kid. They're only going to get worse with time and age, no reason to be unhappy with how hpi look for all that time. Ignore the people saying this is the entry into becoming Jocelyn Wildenstein, tons of women get these minor fixes post pregnancy and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For a supposedly liberal and woman forward website, the number of people saying that OP should not get the surgery if her husband is happy with her breast is deeply concerning.

So "liberal and woman forward" means "do whatever you want and don't think about the whys" to you?

None of my comments involved her husband's opinion at all. It's a stupid thing to feel you need to do, and if you haven't unpacked why you feel that way, the surgery alone isn't going to make your feelings change. Your tits aren't the problem, your self-esteem is. Self-esteem isn't stored in the boobs.

Your comment may not have, but multiple comments did. See below.

While it's agree it's your body...what does it matter what your breasts look like as long as your DH is happy? Who else needs be looking at, judging, and liking your breasts?

I agree.
Mine aren't perfect but he seems very happy with them and at the end of the day, he and I are the only ones seeing them. So why go through that pain?

Is your DH ok with your saggy breasts? If he does not find it terrible, why do you care? There are lovely support bras can make your breast look perky.

Because it's not like a nose job or neck lift, which might affect her confidence in public or even her career. Her bare breasts' level of Perkiness is something literally only they see.

Maybe I am wearing the wrong bras- what is good to not look saggy?

A properly-fitted bra in the correct size. If you want "the girls" on display, look for a demi or balconette style. Otherwise, a standard full-coverage t-shirt bra should provide enough lift.

But $20 says you're wearing the wrong size. Most women are. There's a simple calculator (https://www.abrathatfits.org/calculator.php) and whole online communities devoted to fit checks and brand recommendations

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I didn’t realize the hate and arguments this would stir up. I will put off the breast for now since some say your boobs go back to normal.

For the posters calling me vain, I don’t care! I don’t want attention from other men. I love that my husband loves my body, but I still need to love my body.

You do need to love your body, as it is. Stop thinking that you'll love it once you've changed it. That's not love in any relationship, including your relationship to yourself.

You're weird.

It's 2025, and womankind are free to chose what to do with their bodies to make themselves happy. Botox, nose job, boob job, nothing to see here move along.

Nobody said you weren't free to choose. Smart people are saying you should consider all the possibilities so you can make a smart choice. "I don't feel good so I'll buy my way out of my feelings" is rarely a sustainable strategy. It's okay to push back on a culture that tells us we need to buy things for our bodies, or even buy body parts/adjustments, in order to feel good.

Nothing about recovery from this procedure feels good, by the way. And if the results don't make you feel good, then what? And for what? OP is mildly bummed about her not-even-all-the-way post-baby body. Instead of rushing to surgically alter things, maybe accept that your body made and fed a whole human?! Maybe analyze why you're not willing to accept minor boob sag, even though you clearly know that gravity works and age is an inevitability?

Choose, sure. Choose wisely is the only advice being offered here.

You're way over analyzing this.

A boob lift isn't rocket science, it's not a facelift. Been done millions of times. The other procedures, well, not sure will work at all.

Buddy, you're clueless. Educate yourself: https://www.plasticsurgery.org/cosmetic-procedures/breast-lift/procedure Beyond the clinical aspects of this, there's often significant sensation loss (for reasons that are obvious when you understand what happens during this procedure), lasting asymmetry, scarring and possibly complications. No, it's not "rocket science" but it's not as simple as buying a wonderbra and calling it a day.

What I said was "Choose, sure. Choose wisely is the only advice being offered here." and I stand by it. The only people arguing are mostly making trolling shitposts like yours that allege people suggesting thought before decisionmaking are somehow "weird". Nah, just adults. Since this is an adult decision, it should be considered thoroughly. Yes, sure, "been done millions of times", and I don't have an exact fail rate, but a simple search for "botched breast lift" reveals there's been at least a few problems. Knowing that isn't a bad thing. Make an informed choice (aka choose wisely).

What a magnanimous post! Now if only it were true. It seems obvious that your “choose wisely” advice is directly saying “there is only one wise choice, idiot”. It’s much more a threat or a warning than advice.

It’s also absolutely hilarious how the opinions here “don’t do it, you are vain and selfish! Learn to be an adult and love your body!”are so shrill and trying to make this seem so extreme. Yet these procedures are so popular there are waiting lists a year out. Stop acting like this is such a shocking decision. You come across as extremely weird.

DP, if refusing to normalize surgery that is 100% about vanity is extremely weird, well, I’m okay with being extremely weird.

You do you. But stop acting like she’s considering something so bizarre when your views are definitely the dated ones.

Yes, dear. We hear you. Cutting apart your body for the approval of strangers is so modern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If for no other reason, I think it’s empowering to model for kids that if they aren’t happy with their appearance, they aren’t just stuck, but have options available to make changes.

Oh, the classism...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Don’t do that to him. It’s not fair to demand something for your vanity that costs lots of money and puts you at risk. He is in a no-win situation — if he objects, he isn’t supportive. If he agrees, however reluctantly, you have wasted a ton of money. And this is addictive— you will want more later.

This just isn’t true based on myself and a few friends I know who’ve had one procedure to fix something cause in pregnancy and nothing else.

But people who have plastic surgery are inherently shallow and insecure and many of them will never be satisfied. They will just fixate on the next thing they think is wrong with them.

You just described my sister who has had more procedures than anyone here I guarantee and still keeps picking herself apart in pictures. However that doesn’t mean OP is like this.

It’s just YOUR sister issues. In reality many women had one surgery fixing a specific area. And then we’re done with that.
I’ve had a lipo and breast implants 5 years ago. Never went to surgeon again as I’m very happy with outcome and workout a lot to maintain the results

So two procedures? What’s up with your counting.

Be kind. She's really hungry from obsessively "maintaining the results"

(when that inevitably fails, she'll go back for more work)

[Anonymous]

Wowza. I'm sorry OP. DCUM is such a rough place for this type of conversation. I've had a couple of elective surgeries, thrilled with the results and feeling so much better in my body post-partum.

Without knowing you and your husband, it's hard for me to know how strongly you each feel about this. You will briefly need his help post-op (probably about a week) and it is a financial decision. Here's what I would do based on my own experience:

Do some research and find the best 3 surgeons you can. We are spoiled for choice of excellent surgeons in the DMV area. Check them out on Real Self to see if you like their work aesthetically and whether their patients talk about them being good listeners, offering solid follow up post-surgery. Schedule consultations with them. Ask all of your questions and gather all the information. Make sure you like them and feel comfortable. If your husband is willing, ask him to come to ask directly about the risks. If the surgeon has an online community where you can reach out to past patients about their experience, do it. The real risks to worry about are the ones most people never give much thought to--loss of sensation, scarring (I have one keloid which is a bummer but not a big deal to me), or asymmetry. Only a percentage of patients will deal with them but it's something to mentally prepare for. The absolute best way to mitigate risk with any elective surgery is picking an excellent surgeon who performs surgery in a fully equipped surgical center or hospital with a skilled team (anesthesiologist, RN's etc). Ask about this during your consultations.

Once you have all the information, re-assess with your husband. People on DCUM are oddly emotional about other people getting plastic surgery and are not going to do a rational, thoughtful assessment with you. And their risk analysis is typically not based on any actual facts (or is solely anecdotal). There is a wealth of information online about the risks of ana

Whichever path you choose, it's your one body. The older you get, the tougher the surgery will be so it's absolutely worth the full consideration now. I hope you find a way forward that you feel good about!

[Anonymous]

Oops. My one sentence got cut off. I meant to say:" There is a wealth of information online about the risks of anesthesia"