Husband doesn’t want me to get surgery

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's an unnecessary surgery for vanity purposes. I would not want me or my spouse to get it either.

While it's agree it's your body...what does it matter what your breasts look like as long as your DH is happy? Who else needs be looking at, judging, and liking your breasts?

It’s how I like to look. Not to brag but I had pretty great 38DD breasts. Not so much now.

So you desire more attention. Got it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason for his objection matters OP. What did he say was the reason?

Surgery risk is his main and only concern.

Surgery and anesthesia are real risks. Sorry. I know you don’t want to hear it.

Yes this. I personally would never undergo general anesthesia for a surgery that is not necessary to save my life or limbs. It's not worth the risk. I share this opinion with many medical professionals.

And I say this has someone who has had two plastic surgery procedures that were done when I was in a twilight state (nose job and c section scar revision). I'm vain! But I would not go under for vanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Hmmm..I had my breasts done prior to meeting husband.
Had em' redone following two kids.

He had zero issues. I'm still alive.

So you say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is your youngest kid? I think you both have excellent reasons to do or not do the surgery. His are more sound but it’s your body and if you feel it’s important, work on giving him enough information to feel it’s a safe procedure. Although I will say I appreciate is POV and acceptance of your body. My DH would like me to get a breast lift or even implants postpartum and it annoys me. Having children changed them and I wish he made me feel comfortable about the change. I’m on the fence about a breast lift - against implants because of reports of autoimmune issues.

Youngest is 1.5. Nursed both him and his brother for 1 year each.

DP, Your breasts aren’t done recovering if you only weaned 6 months ago. Mine were sad little skin flaps when I weaned, the fullness came back over time. I think you should give your body more time before you worry about any cosmetic procedures, especially surgical ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's an unnecessary surgery for vanity purposes. I would not want me or my spouse to get it either.

While it's agree it's your body...what does it matter what your breasts look like as long as your DH is happy? Who else needs be looking at, judging, and liking your breasts?

It’s how I like to look. Not to brag but I had pretty great 38DD breasts. Not so much now.

So you desire more attention. Got it

I desire to feel comfortable in my own body. I don’t like the way I look naked and that’s a problem for me. Call me vain but it’s the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Hmmm..I had my breasts done prior to meeting husband.
Had em' redone following two kids.

He had zero issues. I'm still alive.

So you say.

🤡

[Anonymous]

OP, I had a breast reduction/lift and a tummy tuck following weight loss. The breast lift portion was easy-peasy, and they still look great almost 20 years later.

I've also had lipo and some laser thing that promised to tighten the skin on my upper arms. That was done under twilight. It didn't accomplish anything. In fact, the skin is saggier now actually. I'm strongly considering getting a brachioplasty.

DH says he'd prefer I not do it, but of course he's gonna say that. That's the only safe answer. But I will feel a giant weight lifted off my mind and I will have a higher libido if I'm not self-conscious about my saggy, stretched-out arm skin.

Some people don't care what they look like. Others, like me and you, do. (And, frankly, our spouses benefit from that.) Do what will make you feel good, and don't waste a second self-flagellating for being "vain." The breast lift is a simple, routine procedure and will give you lifelong benefits. (The other stuff you mentioned I'm not sure will do much, so maybe do a bit more research on those.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband wouldn't want me to have elective, unnecessary surgery either.

I agree with this. I would not want my DH to do unnecessary elective surgery either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Is your DH ok with your saggy breasts? If he does not find it terrible, why do you care? There are lovely support bras can make your breast look perky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's an unnecessary surgery for vanity purposes. I would not want me or my spouse to get it either.

While it's agree it's your body...what does it matter what your breasts look like as long as your DH is happy? Who else needs be looking at, judging, and liking your breasts?

Huh? I like my body to look good for me, not for others.

[Anonymous]

OP, my husband is also not entirely supportive (but also not totally opposed) to the mommy makeover I'm interested in. I want a lift, small implant, and TT after having 2 kids. He also cites safety as the primary reason.

But, define "elective." So, if someone plays sports their whole lives, needs 2-3 surgeries to repair knees, hands, and ankles, etc., at what point are those surgeries "elective" versus necessary? If someone has weight loss surgery and wants the excess skin removed, who draws that line between what's necessary and what "elective"?

Define "vain" (or "aging gracefully" for that matter). It's not about looking good for others. It's about being proud of the body that you're in and not wanting to live the next 30-40 years upset about the post-partum effects. No one says someone working out 3-4x per week is vain. But if they want surgery to fix the parts that d/e can't, then that's vain? Makes no sense to me.

My point is that I think all these terms - elective, necessary, vain - are really self-serving and fail to grasp the complexity of these decisions.

I think you do the surgery.

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of risks to surgery and you have two kids OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's an unnecessary surgery for vanity purposes. I would not want me or my spouse to get it either.

While it's agree it's your body...what does it matter what your breasts look like as long as your DH is happy? Who else needs be looking at, judging, and liking your breasts?

It’s how I like to look. Not to brag but I had pretty great 38DD breasts. Not so much now.

You're more than your boobs. Instead of surgery, try therapy and a nice vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's an unnecessary surgery for vanity purposes. I would not want me or my spouse to get it either.

While it's agree it's your body...what does it matter what your breasts look like as long as your DH is happy? Who else needs be looking at, judging, and liking your breasts?

It’s how I like to look. Not to brag but I had pretty great 38DD breasts. Not so much now.

So you desire more attention. Got it

I desire to feel comfortable in my own body. I don’t like the way I look naked and that’s a problem for me. Call me vain but it’s the truth.

How you feel is easier to adjust than how you look. Learn to love the body you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I had a breast reduction/lift and a tummy tuck following weight loss. The breast lift portion was easy-peasy, and they still look great almost 20 years later.

I've also had lipo and some laser thing that promised to tighten the skin on my upper arms. That was done under twilight. It didn't accomplish anything. In fact, the skin is saggier now actually. I'm strongly considering getting a brachioplasty.

DH says he'd prefer I not do it, but of course he's gonna say that. That's the only safe answer. But I will feel a giant weight lifted off my mind and I will have a higher libido if I'm not self-conscious about my saggy, stretched-out arm skin.

Some people don't care what they look like. Others, like me and you, do. (And, frankly, our spouses benefit from that.) Do what will make you feel good, and don't waste a second self-flagellating for being "vain." The breast lift is a simple, routine procedure and will give you lifelong benefits. (The other stuff you mentioned I'm not sure will do much, so maybe do a bit more research on those.)

Imagine being so unwilling to work on your self-esteem that you just started cutting your body apart... and you still had shite self-esteem.