Husband doesn’t want me to get surgery

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Don’t do that to him. It’s not fair to demand something for your vanity that costs lots of money and puts you at risk. He is in a no-win situation — if he objects, he isn’t supportive. If he agrees, however reluctantly, you have wasted a ton of money. And this is addictive— you will want more later.

This just isn’t true based on myself and a few friends I know who’ve had one procedure to fix something cause in pregnancy and nothing else.

But people who have plastic surgery are inherently shallow and insecure and many of them will never be satisfied. They will just fixate on the next thing they think is wrong with them.

You just described my sister who has had more procedures than anyone here I guarantee and still keeps picking herself apart in pictures. However that doesn’t mean OP is like this.

It’s just YOUR sister issues. In reality many women had one surgery fixing a specific area. And then we’re done with that.
I’ve had a lipo and breast implants 5 years ago. Never went to surgeon again as I’m very happy with outcome and workout a lot to maintain the results

By your own admission you had more than one, so pp is still correct.

No they are not. It’s been 5 years and I didn’t have any additional procedures . Having tummy surgery improved my posture and made it easier to workout. I’m in the best shape of my life in my 40s and my breasts look very natural - the men I dated didn’t even notice I had anything done. It was a huge confidence boost for me. I’m training 15 hrs a week alongside 20 years olds


OP - don’t listen to Carens here - do it if you want

Lipo- one procedure
Breast implants - second procedure
Now apparently tummy tuck too? Third procedure?

The point stands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Don’t do that to him. It’s not fair to demand something for your vanity that costs lots of money and puts you at risk. He is in a no-win situation — if he objects, he isn’t supportive. If he agrees, however reluctantly, you have wasted a ton of money. And this is addictive— you will want more later.

This just isn’t true based on myself and a few friends I know who’ve had one procedure to fix something cause in pregnancy and nothing else.

But people who have plastic surgery are inherently shallow and insecure and many of them will never be satisfied. They will just fixate on the next thing they think is wrong with them.

You just described my sister who has had more procedures than anyone here I guarantee and still keeps picking herself apart in pictures. However that doesn’t mean OP is like this.

It’s just YOUR sister issues. In reality many women had one surgery fixing a specific area. And then we’re done with that.
I’ve had a lipo and breast implants 5 years ago. Never went to surgeon again as I’m very happy with outcome and workout a lot to maintain the results

By your own admission you had more than one, so pp is still correct.

No they are not. It’s been 5 years and I didn’t have any additional procedures . Having tummy surgery improved my posture and made it easier to workout. I’m in the best shape of my life in my 40s and my breasts look very natural - the men I dated didn’t even notice I had anything done. It was a huge confidence boost for me. I’m training 15 hrs a week alongside 20 years olds


OP - don’t listen to Carens here - do it if you want

Lipo- one procedure
Breast implants - second procedure
Now apparently tummy tuck too? Third procedure?

The point stands.

It sounds like a mommy makeover which is kind of counted as one thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Don’t do that to him. It’s not fair to demand something for your vanity that costs lots of money and puts you at risk. He is in a no-win situation — if he objects, he isn’t supportive. If he agrees, however reluctantly, you have wasted a ton of money. And this is addictive— you will want more later.

This just isn’t true based on myself and a few friends I know who’ve had one procedure to fix something cause in pregnancy and nothing else.

But people who have plastic surgery are inherently shallow and insecure and many of them will never be satisfied. They will just fixate on the next thing they think is wrong with them.

You just described my sister who has had more procedures than anyone here I guarantee and still keeps picking herself apart in pictures. However that doesn’t mean OP is like this.

It’s just YOUR sister issues. In reality many women had one surgery fixing a specific area. And then we’re done with that.
I’ve had a lipo and breast implants 5 years ago. Never went to surgeon again as I’m very happy with outcome and workout a lot to maintain the results

That’s exactly what I said, stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Wow. I didn’t realize the hate and arguments this would stir up. I will put off the breast for now since some say your boobs go back to normal.

For the posters calling me vain, I don’t care! I don’t want attention from other men. I love that my husband loves my body, but I still need to love my body.

You do need to love your body, as it is. Stop thinking that you'll love it once you've changed it. That's not love in any relationship, including your relationship to yourself.

You're weird.

It's 2025, and womankind are free to chose what to do with their bodies to make themselves happy. Botox, nose job, boob job, nothing to see here move along.

Nobody said you weren't free to choose. Smart people are saying you should consider all the possibilities so you can make a smart choice. "I don't feel good so I'll buy my way out of my feelings" is rarely a sustainable strategy. It's okay to push back on a culture that tells us we need to buy things for our bodies, or even buy body parts/adjustments, in order to feel good.

Nothing about recovery from this procedure feels good, by the way. And if the results don't make you feel good, then what? And for what? OP is mildly bummed about her not-even-all-the-way post-baby body. Instead of rushing to surgically alter things, maybe accept that your body made and fed a whole human?! Maybe analyze why you're not willing to accept minor boob sag, even though you clearly know that gravity works and age is an inevitability?

Choose, sure. Choose wisely is the only advice being offered here.

You're way over analyzing this.

A boob lift isn't rocket science, it's not a facelift. Been done millions of times. The other procedures, well, not sure will work at all.

Buddy, you're clueless. Educate yourself: https://www.plasticsurgery.org/cosmetic-procedures/breast-lift/procedure Beyond the clinical aspects of this, there's often significant sensation loss (for reasons that are obvious when you understand what happens during this procedure), lasting asymmetry, scarring and possibly complications. No, it's not "rocket science" but it's not as simple as buying a wonderbra and calling it a day.

What I said was "Choose, sure. Choose wisely is the only advice being offered here." and I stand by it. The only people arguing are mostly making trolling shitposts like yours that allege people suggesting thought before decisionmaking are somehow "weird". Nah, just adults. Since this is an adult decision, it should be considered thoroughly. Yes, sure, "been done millions of times", and I don't have an exact fail rate, but a simple search for "botched breast lift" reveals there's been at least a few problems. Knowing that isn't a bad thing. Make an informed choice (aka choose wisely).

What a magnanimous post! Now if only it were true. It seems obvious that your “choose wisely” advice is directly saying “there is only one wise choice, idiot”. It’s much more a threat or a warning than advice.

It’s also absolutely hilarious how the opinions here “don’t do it, you are vain and selfish! Learn to be an adult and love your body!”are so shrill and trying to make this seem so extreme. Yet these procedures are so popular there are waiting lists a year out. Stop acting like this is such a shocking decision. You come across as extremely weird.

You have comprehension troubles and a victim complex. Popularity isn't safety. Logic isn't your strength, is it?

Logic actually is a strength of mine, but hysteria is clearly one of yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Don’t do that to him. It’s not fair to demand something for your vanity that costs lots of money and puts you at risk. He is in a no-win situation — if he objects, he isn’t supportive. If he agrees, however reluctantly, you have wasted a ton of money. And this is addictive— you will want more later.

This just isn’t true based on myself and a few friends I know who’ve had one procedure to fix something cause in pregnancy and nothing else.

But people who have plastic surgery are inherently shallow and insecure and many of them will never be satisfied. They will just fixate on the next thing they think is wrong with them.

You just described my sister who has had more procedures than anyone here I guarantee and still keeps picking herself apart in pictures. However that doesn’t mean OP is like this.

It’s just YOUR sister issues. In reality many women had one surgery fixing a specific area. And then we’re done with that.
I’ve had a lipo and breast implants 5 years ago. Never went to surgeon again as I’m very happy with outcome and workout a lot to maintain the results

By your own admission you had more than one, so pp is still correct.

No they are not. It’s been 5 years and I didn’t have any additional procedures . Having tummy surgery improved my posture and made it easier to workout. I’m in the best shape of my life in my 40s and my breasts look very natural - the men I dated didn’t even notice I had anything done. It was a huge confidence boost for me. I’m training 15 hrs a week alongside 20 years olds


OP - don’t listen to Carens here - do it if you want

Lipo- one procedure
Breast implants - second procedure
Now apparently tummy tuck too? Third procedure?

The point stands.

It sounds like a mommy makeover which is kind of counted as one thing.

Right right, if I get 20 procedures all for a “makeover” it only counts as 1?! Does the billing work the same way?!
Good lord go back to elementary and learn basic math.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Don’t do that to him. It’s not fair to demand something for your vanity that costs lots of money and puts you at risk. He is in a no-win situation — if he objects, he isn’t supportive. If he agrees, however reluctantly, you have wasted a ton of money. And this is addictive— you will want more later.

This just isn’t true based on myself and a few friends I know who’ve had one procedure to fix something cause in pregnancy and nothing else.

But people who have plastic surgery are inherently shallow and insecure and many of them will never be satisfied. They will just fixate on the next thing they think is wrong with them.

You just described my sister who has had more procedures than anyone here I guarantee and still keeps picking herself apart in pictures. However that doesn’t mean OP is like this.

It’s just YOUR sister issues. In reality many women had one surgery fixing a specific area. And then we’re done with that.
I’ve had a lipo and breast implants 5 years ago. Never went to surgeon again as I’m very happy with outcome and workout a lot to maintain the results

By your own admission you had more than one, so pp is still correct.

No they are not. It’s been 5 years and I didn’t have any additional procedures . Having tummy surgery improved my posture and made it easier to workout. I’m in the best shape of my life in my 40s and my breasts look very natural - the men I dated didn’t even notice I had anything done. It was a huge confidence boost for me. I’m training 15 hrs a week alongside 20 years olds


OP - don’t listen to Carens here - do it if you want

Lipo- one procedure
Breast implants - second procedure
Now apparently tummy tuck too? Third procedure?

The point stands.

It sounds like a mommy makeover which is kind of counted as one thing.

Right right, if I get 20 procedures all for a “makeover” it only counts as 1?! Does the billing work the same way?!
Good lord go back to elementary and learn basic math.

I have little doubt you need 20 procedures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Don’t do that to him. It’s not fair to demand something for your vanity that costs lots of money and puts you at risk. He is in a no-win situation — if he objects, he isn’t supportive. If he agrees, however reluctantly, you have wasted a ton of money. And this is addictive— you will want more later.

This just isn’t true based on myself and a few friends I know who’ve had one procedure to fix something cause in pregnancy and nothing else.

But people who have plastic surgery are inherently shallow and insecure and many of them will never be satisfied. They will just fixate on the next thing they think is wrong with them.

You just described my sister who has had more procedures than anyone here I guarantee and still keeps picking herself apart in pictures. However that doesn’t mean OP is like this.

It’s just YOUR sister issues. In reality many women had one surgery fixing a specific area. And then we’re done with that.
I’ve had a lipo and breast implants 5 years ago. Never went to surgeon again as I’m very happy with outcome and workout a lot to maintain the results

By your own admission you had more than one, so pp is still correct.

No they are not. It’s been 5 years and I didn’t have any additional procedures . Having tummy surgery improved my posture and made it easier to workout. I’m in the best shape of my life in my 40s and my breasts look very natural - the men I dated didn’t even notice I had anything done. It was a huge confidence boost for me. I’m training 15 hrs a week alongside 20 years olds


OP - don’t listen to Carens here - do it if you want

Lipo- one procedure
Breast implants - second procedure
Now apparently tummy tuck too? Third procedure?

The point stands.

It sounds like a mommy makeover which is kind of counted as one thing.

Right right, if I get 20 procedures all for a “makeover” it only counts as 1?! Does the billing work the same way?!
Good lord go back to elementary and learn basic math.

I have little doubt you need 20 procedures.

I’d believe you if I believed you could count that high. Apparently two and three equal one to you 😂😂

[Anonymous]

I got a “mommy makeover” and a lower bleph in my mid-40s while my DH was swearing up and down that he was fine with how I looked. I feel a lot more confident and our sex life has skyrocketed since then, despite DH’s earlier declarations. 🤣

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The whole "why would you risk your life for vanity" argument is BS.

The most dangerous thing we do is driving. It has a MUCH higher death risk than breast surgery. You are several hundred times more likely to die driving to/from surgery than from the surgery itself.

Does he stay home unless absolutely necessary because he doesn't want to take on the risk of death from an accident? No. We drive to frivolous things all the time.

That’s not a good analogy bc most people need to drive. No one needs to get a breast lift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole "why would you risk your life for vanity" argument is BS.

The most dangerous thing we do is driving. It has a MUCH higher death risk than breast surgery. You are several hundred times more likely to die driving to/from surgery than from the surgery itself.

Does he stay home unless absolutely necessary because he doesn't want to take on the risk of death from an accident? No. We drive to frivolous things all the time.

That’s not a good analogy bc most people need to drive. No one needs to get a breast lift.

Actually most people do a lot of needless driving whereby they could have walked or taken a bus

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole "why would you risk your life for vanity" argument is BS.

The most dangerous thing we do is driving. It has a MUCH higher death risk than breast surgery. You are several hundred times more likely to die driving to/from surgery than from the surgery itself.

Does he stay home unless absolutely necessary because he doesn't want to take on the risk of death from an accident? No. We drive to frivolous things all the time.

That’s not a good analogy bc most people need to drive. No one needs to get a breast lift.

Actually most people do a lot of needless driving whereby they could have walked or taken a bus

+1
You certainly don’t think before heading out to drive to the ice cream store “is this necessary because there is a risk to driving”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole "why would you risk your life for vanity" argument is BS.

The most dangerous thing we do is driving. It has a MUCH higher death risk than breast surgery. You are several hundred times more likely to die driving to/from surgery than from the surgery itself.

Does he stay home unless absolutely necessary because he doesn't want to take on the risk of death from an accident? No. We drive to frivolous things all the time.

That’s not a good analogy bc most people need to drive. No one needs to get a breast lift.

Actually most people do a lot of needless driving whereby they could have walked or taken a bus

+1
You certainly don’t think before heading out to drive to the ice cream store “is this necessary because there is a risk to driving”.

It’s also not a good analogy bc way more people drive than get elective, unnecessary surgeries so while driving is certainly risky, it’s not really a good comparison of the risks inherent in each.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I didn’t realize the hate and arguments this would stir up. I will put off the breast for now since some say your boobs go back to normal.

For the posters calling me vain, I don’t care! I don’t want attention from other men. I love that my husband loves my body, but I still need to love my body.

You do need to love your body, as it is. Stop thinking that you'll love it once you've changed it. That's not love in any relationship, including your relationship to yourself.

You're weird.

It's 2025, and womankind are free to chose what to do with their bodies to make themselves happy. Botox, nose job, boob job, nothing to see here move along.

Nobody said you weren't free to choose. Smart people are saying you should consider all the possibilities so you can make a smart choice. "I don't feel good so I'll buy my way out of my feelings" is rarely a sustainable strategy. It's okay to push back on a culture that tells us we need to buy things for our bodies, or even buy body parts/adjustments, in order to feel good.

Nothing about recovery from this procedure feels good, by the way. And if the results don't make you feel good, then what? And for what? OP is mildly bummed about her not-even-all-the-way post-baby body. Instead of rushing to surgically alter things, maybe accept that your body made and fed a whole human?! Maybe analyze why you're not willing to accept minor boob sag, even though you clearly know that gravity works and age is an inevitability?

Choose, sure. Choose wisely is the only advice being offered here.

You're way over analyzing this.

A boob lift isn't rocket science, it's not a facelift. Been done millions of times. The other procedures, well, not sure will work at all.

Buddy, you're clueless. Educate yourself: https://www.plasticsurgery.org/cosmetic-procedures/breast-lift/procedure Beyond the clinical aspects of this, there's often significant sensation loss (for reasons that are obvious when you understand what happens during this procedure), lasting asymmetry, scarring and possibly complications. No, it's not "rocket science" but it's not as simple as buying a wonderbra and calling it a day.

What I said was "Choose, sure. Choose wisely is the only advice being offered here." and I stand by it. The only people arguing are mostly making trolling shitposts like yours that allege people suggesting thought before decisionmaking are somehow "weird". Nah, just adults. Since this is an adult decision, it should be considered thoroughly. Yes, sure, "been done millions of times", and I don't have an exact fail rate, but a simple search for "botched breast lift" reveals there's been at least a few problems. Knowing that isn't a bad thing. Make an informed choice (aka choose wisely).

What a magnanimous post! Now if only it were true. It seems obvious that your “choose wisely” advice is directly saying “there is only one wise choice, idiot”. It’s much more a threat or a warning than advice.

It’s also absolutely hilarious how the opinions here “don’t do it, you are vain and selfish! Learn to be an adult and love your body!”are so shrill and trying to make this seem so extreme. Yet these procedures are so popular there are waiting lists a year out. Stop acting like this is such a shocking decision. You come across as extremely weird.

You have comprehension troubles and a victim complex. Popularity isn't safety. Logic isn't your strength, is it?

Logic actually is a strength of mine, but hysteria is clearly one of yours.

All that work to still be this ugly. Hope it was cheap!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole "why would you risk your life for vanity" argument is BS.

The most dangerous thing we do is driving. It has a MUCH higher death risk than breast surgery. You are several hundred times more likely to die driving to/from surgery than from the surgery itself.

Does he stay home unless absolutely necessary because he doesn't want to take on the risk of death from an accident? No. We drive to frivolous things all the time.

That’s not a good analogy bc most people need to drive. No one needs to get a breast lift.

Actually most people do a lot of needless driving whereby they could have walked or taken a bus

+1
You certainly don’t think before heading out to drive to the ice cream store “is this necessary because there is a risk to driving”.

It’s also not a good analogy bc way more people drive than get elective, unnecessary surgeries so while driving is certainly risky, it’s not really a good comparison of the risks inherent in each.

The women who elect these surgeries find them necessary for whichever personal reason. That’s none of your business to determine what’s necessary for other people or not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole "why would you risk your life for vanity" argument is BS.

The most dangerous thing we do is driving. It has a MUCH higher death risk than breast surgery. You are several hundred times more likely to die driving to/from surgery than from the surgery itself.

Does he stay home unless absolutely necessary because he doesn't want to take on the risk of death from an accident? No. We drive to frivolous things all the time.

That’s not a good analogy bc most people need to drive. No one needs to get a breast lift.

Actually most people do a lot of needless driving whereby they could have walked or taken a bus

+1
You certainly don’t think before heading out to drive to the ice cream store “is this necessary because there is a risk to driving”.

It’s also not a good analogy bc way more people drive than get elective, unnecessary surgeries so while driving is certainly risky, it’s not really a good comparison of the risks inherent in each.

The women who elect these surgeries find them necessary for whichever personal reason. That’s none of your business to determine what’s necessary for other people or not

Actually you can easily define what is necessary. Just bc you’re vain doesn’t mean you can make up math or meanings of words LOL