Husband doesn’t want me to get surgery

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Wow. I didn’t realize the hate and arguments this would stir up. I will put off the breast for now since some say your boobs go back to normal.

For the posters calling me vain, I don’t care! I don’t want attention from other men. I love that my husband loves my body, but I still need to love my body.

You do need to love your body, as it is. Stop thinking that you'll love it once you've changed it. That's not love in any relationship, including your relationship to yourself.

You're weird.

It's 2025, and womankind are free to chose what to do with their bodies to make themselves happy. Botox, nose job, boob job, nothing to see here move along.

Nobody said you weren't free to choose. Smart people are saying you should consider all the possibilities so you can make a smart choice. "I don't feel good so I'll buy my way out of my feelings" is rarely a sustainable strategy. It's okay to push back on a culture that tells us we need to buy things for our bodies, or even buy body parts/adjustments, in order to feel good.

Nothing about recovery from this procedure feels good, by the way. And if the results don't make you feel good, then what? And for what? OP is mildly bummed about her not-even-all-the-way post-baby body. Instead of rushing to surgically alter things, maybe accept that your body made and fed a whole human?! Maybe analyze why you're not willing to accept minor boob sag, even though you clearly know that gravity works and age is an inevitability?

Choose, sure. Choose wisely is the only advice being offered here.

You're way over analyzing this.

A boob lift isn't rocket science, it's not a facelift. Been done millions of times. The other procedures, well, not sure will work at all.

Buddy, you're clueless. Educate yourself: https://www.plasticsurgery.org/cosmetic-procedures/breast-lift/procedure Beyond the clinical aspects of this, there's often significant sensation loss (for reasons that are obvious when you understand what happens during this procedure), lasting asymmetry, scarring and possibly complications. No, it's not "rocket science" but it's not as simple as buying a wonderbra and calling it a day.

What I said was "Choose, sure. Choose wisely is the only advice being offered here." and I stand by it. The only people arguing are mostly making trolling shitposts like yours that allege people suggesting thought before decisionmaking are somehow "weird". Nah, just adults. Since this is an adult decision, it should be considered thoroughly. Yes, sure, "been done millions of times", and I don't have an exact fail rate, but a simple search for "botched breast lift" reveals there's been at least a few problems. Knowing that isn't a bad thing. Make an informed choice (aka choose wisely).

What a magnanimous post! Now if only it were true. It seems obvious that your “choose wisely” advice is directly saying “there is only one wise choice, idiot”. It’s much more a threat or a warning than advice.

It’s also absolutely hilarious how the opinions here “don’t do it, you are vain and selfish! Learn to be an adult and love your body!”are so shrill and trying to make this seem so extreme. Yet these procedures are so popular there are waiting lists a year out. Stop acting like this is such a shocking decision. You come across as extremely weird.

DP, if refusing to normalize surgery that is 100% about vanity is extremely weird, well, I’m okay with being extremely weird.

You do you. But stop acting like she’s considering something so bizarre when your views are definitely the dated ones.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Don’t do that to him. It’s not fair to demand something for your vanity that costs lots of money and puts you at risk. He is in a no-win situation — if he objects, he isn’t supportive. If he agrees, however reluctantly, you have wasted a ton of money. And this is addictive— you will want more later.

This just isn’t true based on myself and a few friends I know who’ve had one procedure to fix something cause in pregnancy and nothing else.

But people who have plastic surgery are inherently shallow and insecure and many of them will never be satisfied. They will just fixate on the next thing they think is wrong with them.

You just described my sister who has had more procedures than anyone here I guarantee and still keeps picking herself apart in pictures. However that doesn’t mean OP is like this.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Don’t do that to him. It’s not fair to demand something for your vanity that costs lots of money and puts you at risk. He is in a no-win situation — if he objects, he isn’t supportive. If he agrees, however reluctantly, you have wasted a ton of money. And this is addictive— you will want more later.

This just isn’t true based on myself and a few friends I know who’ve had one procedure to fix something cause in pregnancy and nothing else.

But people who have plastic surgery are inherently shallow and insecure and many of them will never be satisfied. They will just fixate on the next thing they think is wrong with them.

there are two reasons for plastic surgery. The first is to fix a problem and the people who do that are often one and done (and wish they had done it sooner).

The second is to seek "perfection" and those people are never happy and will never win against time, so they keep having more and more procedures.

If you truly have an issue that falls on the first category, you can do it and not look back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Don’t do that to him. It’s not fair to demand something for your vanity that costs lots of money and puts you at risk. He is in a no-win situation — if he objects, he isn’t supportive. If he agrees, however reluctantly, you have wasted a ton of money. And this is addictive— you will want more later.

This just isn’t true based on myself and a few friends I know who’ve had one procedure to fix something cause in pregnancy and nothing else.

This.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It's an unnecessary surgery for vanity purposes. I would not want me or my spouse to get it either.

While it's agree it's your body...what does it matter what your breasts look like as long as your DH is happy? Who else needs be looking at, judging, and liking your breasts?

It’s how I like to look. Not to brag but I had pretty great 38DD breasts. Not so much now.

So you desire more attention. Got it

I desire to feel comfortable in my own body. I don’t like the way I look naked and that’s a problem for me. Call me vain but it’s the truth.

Yes, it's vain, but are you willing to leave your children motherless over some boobs?

Oh please.
Do what you want OP. This trying to guilt you with “leave your children motherless” is BS.

Bro, that's not guilt. That's a legitimate possibility. "mommy died during surgery." "What surgery" "Well, boob surgery"

Really think about it, because it has happened, and can happen.

She is more likely to get into a car accident on the way to surgery. You are hysterical. It’s not a “legitimate possibility” FFS.

Imagine thinking this is a good argument.

It’s true. Have people stopped driving because the possibility of a car accident?

Thank you for showing us that you are terrible at determine cost-benefit ratio.

Not all driving is the same. Driving to work? Necessary. Driving to meet friends for dinner? Elective. Even driving kids to sports is elective. So you seem to be the one unable to engage in a cost-benefit analysis. DP.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It's an unnecessary surgery for vanity purposes. I would not want me or my spouse to get it either.

While it's agree it's your body...what does it matter what your breasts look like as long as your DH is happy? Who else needs be looking at, judging, and liking your breasts?

It’s how I like to look. Not to brag but I had pretty great 38DD breasts. Not so much now.

So you desire more attention. Got it

I desire to feel comfortable in my own body. I don’t like the way I look naked and that’s a problem for me. Call me vain but it’s the truth.

You’re vain and you’re irresponsible.

Can you please provide the data that shows that having that kind of surgery is irresponsible? Because otherwise you're just spewing nonsense. (Which, hint, is what you're doing). I've never had elective surgery and I don't plan to. I need a tummy tuck after having twins but I probably won't fix it. So I have no dog in this fight but some of you are just ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Don’t do that to him. It’s not fair to demand something for your vanity that costs lots of money and puts you at risk. He is in a no-win situation — if he objects, he isn’t supportive. If he agrees, however reluctantly, you have wasted a ton of money. And this is addictive— you will want more later.

This just isn’t true based on myself and a few friends I know who’ve had one procedure to fix something cause in pregnancy and nothing else.

But people who have plastic surgery are inherently shallow and insecure and many of them will never be satisfied. They will just fixate on the next thing they think is wrong with them.

I will be sure to let my friend who had implants after a double mastectomy know what you think of her.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It's an unnecessary surgery for vanity purposes. I would not want me or my spouse to get it either.

While it's agree it's your body...what does it matter what your breasts look like as long as your DH is happy? Who else needs be looking at, judging, and liking your breasts?

It’s how I like to look. Not to brag but I had pretty great 38DD breasts. Not so much now.

So you desire more attention. Got it

I desire to feel comfortable in my own body. I don’t like the way I look naked and that’s a problem for me. Call me vain but it’s the truth.

Yes, it's vain, but are you willing to leave your children motherless over some boobs?

Oh please.
Do what you want OP. This trying to guilt you with “leave your children motherless” is BS.

Bro, that's not guilt. That's a legitimate possibility. "mommy died during surgery." "What surgery" "Well, boob surgery"

Really think about it, because it has happened, and can happen.

She is more likely to get into a car accident on the way to surgery. You are hysterical. It’s not a “legitimate possibility” FFS.

Imagine thinking this is a good argument.

It’s true. Have people stopped driving because the possibility of a car accident?

Thank you for showing us that you are terrible at determine cost-benefit ratio.

Not all driving is the same. Driving to work? Necessary. Driving to meet friends for dinner? Elective. Even driving kids to sports is elective. So you seem to be the one unable to engage in a cost-benefit analysis. DP.

+1
I am absolutely sure that poster drives for reasons that are not necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Don’t do that to him. It’s not fair to demand something for your vanity that costs lots of money and puts you at risk. He is in a no-win situation — if he objects, he isn’t supportive. If he agrees, however reluctantly, you have wasted a ton of money. And this is addictive— you will want more later.

This just isn’t true based on myself and a few friends I know who’ve had one procedure to fix something cause in pregnancy and nothing else.

But people who have plastic surgery are inherently shallow and insecure and many of them will never be satisfied. They will just fixate on the next thing they think is wrong with them.

There is nothing to indicate this is OPs situation.
You may need to do some self reflection of your own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a breast lift about 15 years ago and wish I had done it sooner.

Breast lift and/or reduction has the highest rate of patient satisfaction of any kind of plastic surgery. Most people feel like you, the biggest regret is not having done it sooner. Go forth OP thought I do agree with the people who pointed out you should wait a touch. Just to be sure your breasts have hit a neutral state after breastfeeding. Also, shouldn't have to be said, but assuming done with babies? Other than that it's a reasonably safe surgery and you deserve to feel good aboit your body.

+1
Large or saggy breasts are so uncomfortable and make it hard to exercise. The benefits are so worth it for a fairly easy surgery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dislike my body after having two kids. I’m fit and workout but my once perky breasts are sagging a little, cellulite, and a lot of stretch marks. I don’t feel confident body and decided to change it. I’m going to go through laser therapy and sculpting to help lighten the stretch marks and get rid of the cellulite. I’ve been looking into a breast lift ( still my natural breasts). My husband is in support of the first two but has voiced his disproval of a breast lift. I know it’s my body but I do respect my husband’s opinion. Would you get the surgery anyway despite his objections?

Don’t do that to him. It’s not fair to demand something for your vanity that costs lots of money and puts you at risk. He is in a no-win situation — if he objects, he isn’t supportive. If he agrees, however reluctantly, you have wasted a ton of money. And this is addictive— you will want more later.

This just isn’t true based on myself and a few friends I know who’ve had one procedure to fix something cause in pregnancy and nothing else.

But people who have plastic surgery are inherently shallow and insecure and many of them will never be satisfied. They will just fixate on the next thing they think is wrong with them.

I will be sure to let my friend who had implants after a double mastectomy know what you think of her.

Yes, please do that because that is certainly what we are discussing here

[Anonymous]

If for no other reason, I think it’s empowering to model for kids that if they aren’t happy with their appearance, they aren’t just stuck, but have options available to make changes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If for no other reason, I think it’s empowering to model for kids that if they aren’t happy with their appearance, they aren’t just stuck, but have options available to make changes.

It's empowering to model for kids that their own selves are unworthy of love, and they need to pay someone to put them at unnecessary health risk for superficial changes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I didn’t realize the hate and arguments this would stir up. I will put off the breast for now since some say your boobs go back to normal.

For the posters calling me vain, I don’t care! I don’t want attention from other men. I love that my husband loves my body, but I still need to love my body.

You should love your own body, not just the body the doctor sold you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's an unnecessary surgery for vanity purposes. I would not want me or my spouse to get it either.

While it's agree it's your body...what does it matter what your breasts look like as long as your DH is happy? Who else needs be looking at, judging, and liking your breasts?

It’s how I like to look. Not to brag but I had pretty great 38DD breasts. Not so much now.

You're more than your boobs. Instead of surgery, try therapy and a nice vacation.

Breast implants are much easier, cheaper, and safer than brain implants.