Great guy but sex is mediocre

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried coaching him through improving your sex life? Is he open to that?

Some men have never received feedback and opportunity to become better lovers.

I have and sex isn’t that good. Vanilla sex is pretty good but I’m not a vanilla kind of girl sometimes. I prefer a little rough. He tries but he’s just not that guy. He seems timid to call me names or get rough.

Great guy, otherwise.

Genuine question but do you have a history of CSA or heavy porn usage? I find a lot of women that NEED choking or violence or lots of "kink" during sex developed their sex drives while watching porn, and are therefore always viewing themselves through a porn lense during sex. If they guy isnt throwing them around, spitting on them, etc, they dont feel the heat and passion. Whereas a lot of men who have genuine emotion and love for a woman dont want to hurt them... which makes perfect sense, logically.

A really "good in bed" person can adapt to different sexual styles, get off in different ways, and listen to their partner's preferences as well. It may not be that your partner is bad in bed, but that you are. And you might try laying off porn or unpacking when/how you developed these tendencies, and try to return your sexuality to a more honest, raw place, without the pretense of all the pornified behavior.

Sorry I’ve been MIA. I don’t know what CSA is. I don’t like choking or any kind of violence. That’s not rough sex to me. Rough sex is just some hard pounding, spanking, hair pulling, and being called names. I like feeling dominated. No porn issue or history of abuse.

How often do you watch porn?

Give it a rest. You’re an uptight prude if you think watching some porn equals abuse.

NP.

Agree: there is someone on this part of DCUM who has a vendetta against porn.

It’s like are fetish for her; she tries to find some way to blame every single relationship issue on porn use.

There's more than one person calling out porn... in fact, there's a reason why the anti-porn movement is so popular with Gen Z... it's only sad boomers and Gen Xers that believe there's anything liberating about porn. It's a hugely exploitative industry that warps people's brains, as you can see from the OP who cant get off unless the guy is calling her the C-word. Absolutely tragic and embarrassing

The OP is probably militant in her claims that she is a “liberated” feminist without any awareness that in reality she is simply brainwashed by the patriarchy.

Exactly. I love these women that wanna act like theyre so alternative and transgressive by getting off on *checks notes* the most regressive patriarchal BS that echoes power dynamics that women have had to adhere to for, oh, just the past few thousand years. Yes, youre really pushing boundaries by having some guy slap you around and call you names... not like that doesnt happen every damn day to countless women and is just a larger echoing of the misogynistic framework every culture is centered around. It's all so very boring, outdated, and just uninteresting.

But she can’t say it to her partner or it will “kill” the fantasy! Sounds fragile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just do anal

You are aware that it can’t be done that often safely for the woman, right ?

No, what’s the difference? Take PrEP.

[Anonymous]

Fissures?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole appeal of being dominated/taken roughly is the idea that you’re just so hot and irresistible that the man is just completely overcome with raw animal lust and cannot control himself around you. Thus having to spell this out for a partner kills the fantasy. At the same time, decent men - reasonably and correctly - are going to err on the side of NOT raping you, so it’s a no-win proposition for both parties.

The whole idea of wanting to be dominated is to experience relaxation before the act from feeling helpless and being spanked. Then I need slight pain, being tied up, disoriented in space to focus on my responses, and to get deeper pressure to O. It’s very physical to me and specific and it was always like that. I only had 5 partners in a lifetime because few men can do this to women usually they are hesitant

And that's what people are trying to tell you... that having such a very limited, fearful sexuality is not really anything to brag about and is pretty sad. If you actually worked on unleashing some genuine sexuality, not having to feel "overpowered" by some man in order to get yourself to feel an O, then you could experience a much wider, more open range of things. There's something so cringe about the pretense and fakeness of a man and a woman performing some fake scenario in which he pins her down, name calls her, etc, and it's all because she's too chickens**t to just own her sexuality and admit she's a sexual person. And everyone is playing some disingenuous role, likely something they did see scripted out in porn or some soap opera or read in a romance novel or something. My God, take the limits off your sexuality, be genuinely open and honest with your sexuality and see what happens. I bet your orgasms would improve tenfold and you wouldnt have issues having them anymore

With so many women living without O in vanilla sex marriages, your post is just as misogynist as anyone who criticizes gay for being born that way. Also, you are overemphasizing the violence in BDSM. Most people who do it also have normal “romantic” sex with me standing on his toes in shower, cuddling, etc.

Role play is meant to spice up sex life sometimes and depart from real life roles. Lots of women in leadership roles enjoy it.

A lot of couples would have benefited from learning more about female body and techniques used in BDSM that are very pleasurable for women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole appeal of being dominated/taken roughly is the idea that you’re just so hot and irresistible that the man is just completely overcome with raw animal lust and cannot control himself around you. Thus having to spell this out for a partner kills the fantasy. At the same time, decent men - reasonably and correctly - are going to err on the side of NOT raping you, so it’s a no-win proposition for both parties.

The whole idea of wanting to be dominated is to experience relaxation before the act from feeling helpless and being spanked. Then I need slight pain, being tied up, disoriented in space to focus on my responses, and to get deeper pressure to O. It’s very physical to me and specific and it was always like that. I only had 5 partners in a lifetime because few men can do this to women usually they are hesitant

And that's what people are trying to tell you... that having such a very limited, fearful sexuality is not really anything to brag about and is pretty sad. If you actually worked on unleashing some genuine sexuality, not having to feel "overpowered" by some man in order to get yourself to feel an O, then you could experience a much wider, more open range of things. There's something so cringe about the pretense and fakeness of a man and a woman performing some fake scenario in which he pins her down, name calls her, etc, and it's all because she's too chickens**t to just own her sexuality and admit she's a sexual person. And everyone is playing some disingenuous role, likely something they did see scripted out in porn or some soap opera or read in a romance novel or something. My God, take the limits off your sexuality, be genuinely open and honest with your sexuality and see what happens. I bet your orgasms would improve tenfold and you wouldnt have issues having them anymore

With so many women living without O in vanilla sex marriages, your post is just as misogynist as anyone who criticizes gay for being born that way. Also, you are overemphasizing the violence in BDSM. Most people who do it also have normal “romantic” sex with me standing on his toes in shower, cuddling, etc.

Role play is meant to spice up sex life sometimes and depart from real life roles. Lots of women in leadership roles enjoy it.

A lot of couples would have benefited from learning more about female body and techniques used in BDSM that are very pleasurable for women

Agree. Saying that a woman’s sexual preferences are “wrong” because you don’t share them is misogynistic. Don’t yuck someone’s yum.

[Anonymous]

Too much emphasis on any sensual desire, be it carnal or otherwise (i.e. food, luxuries, etc etc) is a sure shot way to always be dissatisfied. Always looking to enhance that sensual pleasure...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Too much emphasis on any sensual desire, be it carnal or otherwise (i.e. food, luxuries, etc etc) is a sure shot way to always be dissatisfied. Always looking to enhance that sensual pleasure...

This is some puritanical, catholic thing…or?

I can assure you great sex and food make me VERY happy. I couldn’t care less about “luxury” if you mean things like expensive bags, cars, table runners etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much emphasis on any sensual desire, be it carnal or otherwise (i.e. food, luxuries, etc etc) is a sure shot way to always be dissatisfied. Always looking to enhance that sensual pleasure...

This is some puritanical, catholic thing…or?

I can assure you great sex and food make me VERY happy. I couldn’t care less about “luxury” if you mean things like expensive bags, cars, table runners etc.

DP, the issue with PP’ statement is the “too much emphasis” part. What does that mean anyway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole appeal of being dominated/taken roughly is the idea that you’re just so hot and irresistible that the man is just completely overcome with raw animal lust and cannot control himself around you. Thus having to spell this out for a partner kills the fantasy. At the same time, decent men - reasonably and correctly - are going to err on the side of NOT raping you, so it’s a no-win proposition for both parties.

The whole idea of wanting to be dominated is to experience relaxation before the act from feeling helpless and being spanked. Then I need slight pain, being tied up, disoriented in space to focus on my responses, and to get deeper pressure to O. It’s very physical to me and specific and it was always like that. I only had 5 partners in a lifetime because few men can do this to women usually they are hesitant

And that's what people are trying to tell you... that having such a very limited, fearful sexuality is not really anything to brag about and is pretty sad. If you actually worked on unleashing some genuine sexuality, not having to feel "overpowered" by some man in order to get yourself to feel an O, then you could experience a much wider, more open range of things. There's something so cringe about the pretense and fakeness of a man and a woman performing some fake scenario in which he pins her down, name calls her, etc, and it's all because she's too chickens**t to just own her sexuality and admit she's a sexual person. And everyone is playing some disingenuous role, likely something they did see scripted out in porn or some soap opera or read in a romance novel or something. My God, take the limits off your sexuality, be genuinely open and honest with your sexuality and see what happens. I bet your orgasms would improve tenfold and you wouldnt have issues having them anymore

With so many women living without O in vanilla sex marriages, your post is just as misogynist as anyone who criticizes gay for being born that way. Also, you are overemphasizing the violence in BDSM. Most people who do it also have normal “romantic” sex with me standing on his toes in shower, cuddling, etc.

Role play is meant to spice up sex life sometimes and depart from real life roles. Lots of women in leadership roles enjoy it.

A lot of couples would have benefited from learning more about female body and techniques used in BDSM that are very pleasurable for women

LOL. Criticizing misogynistic dynamics is now misogyny. I've really heard it all. The level of utter brainrot in this comment... 🫠 You just sound like some kind of 80s libfem Xer who thinks "we cant cancel Woody Allen jsut because of his private life" or "it's liberating for women to pay all the bills and do all the housework".Like you GENUINELY think youre being transgressive, meanwhile advocating for the most regressive and dehumanizing situation for women. i dont even think you realize how outdated and passe you are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole appeal of being dominated/taken roughly is the idea that you’re just so hot and irresistible that the man is just completely overcome with raw animal lust and cannot control himself around you. Thus having to spell this out for a partner kills the fantasy. At the same time, decent men - reasonably and correctly - are going to err on the side of NOT raping you, so it’s a no-win proposition for both parties.

The whole idea of wanting to be dominated is to experience relaxation before the act from feeling helpless and being spanked. Then I need slight pain, being tied up, disoriented in space to focus on my responses, and to get deeper pressure to O. It’s very physical to me and specific and it was always like that. I only had 5 partners in a lifetime because few men can do this to women usually they are hesitant

And that's what people are trying to tell you... that having such a very limited, fearful sexuality is not really anything to brag about and is pretty sad. If you actually worked on unleashing some genuine sexuality, not having to feel "overpowered" by some man in order to get yourself to feel an O, then you could experience a much wider, more open range of things. There's something so cringe about the pretense and fakeness of a man and a woman performing some fake scenario in which he pins her down, name calls her, etc, and it's all because she's too chickens**t to just own her sexuality and admit she's a sexual person. And everyone is playing some disingenuous role, likely something they did see scripted out in porn or some soap opera or read in a romance novel or something. My God, take the limits off your sexuality, be genuinely open and honest with your sexuality and see what happens. I bet your orgasms would improve tenfold and you wouldnt have issues having them anymore

With so many women living without O in vanilla sex marriages, your post is just as misogynist as anyone who criticizes gay for being born that way. Also, you are overemphasizing the violence in BDSM. Most people who do it also have normal “romantic” sex with me standing on his toes in shower, cuddling, etc.

Role play is meant to spice up sex life sometimes and depart from real life roles. Lots of women in leadership roles enjoy it.

A lot of couples would have benefited from learning more about female body and techniques used in BDSM that are very pleasurable for women

Agree. Saying that a woman’s sexual preferences are “wrong” because you don’t share them is misogynistic. Don’t yuck someone’s yum.

Any criticism of a woman is now misogynistic? LOL. I will "yuck someone's yum" all day every day, especially when said "yum" plays into a large framework of systemic oppression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole appeal of being dominated/taken roughly is the idea that you’re just so hot and irresistible that the man is just completely overcome with raw animal lust and cannot control himself around you. Thus having to spell this out for a partner kills the fantasy. At the same time, decent men - reasonably and correctly - are going to err on the side of NOT raping you, so it’s a no-win proposition for both parties.

The whole idea of wanting to be dominated is to experience relaxation before the act from feeling helpless and being spanked. Then I need slight pain, being tied up, disoriented in space to focus on my responses, and to get deeper pressure to O. It’s very physical to me and specific and it was always like that. I only had 5 partners in a lifetime because few men can do this to women usually they are hesitant

And that's what people are trying to tell you... that having such a very limited, fearful sexuality is not really anything to brag about and is pretty sad. If you actually worked on unleashing some genuine sexuality, not having to feel "overpowered" by some man in order to get yourself to feel an O, then you could experience a much wider, more open range of things. There's something so cringe about the pretense and fakeness of a man and a woman performing some fake scenario in which he pins her down, name calls her, etc, and it's all because she's too chickens**t to just own her sexuality and admit she's a sexual person. And everyone is playing some disingenuous role, likely something they did see scripted out in porn or some soap opera or read in a romance novel or something. My God, take the limits off your sexuality, be genuinely open and honest with your sexuality and see what happens. I bet your orgasms would improve tenfold and you wouldnt have issues having them anymore

With so many women living without O in vanilla sex marriages, your post is just as misogynist as anyone who criticizes gay for being born that way. Also, you are overemphasizing the violence in BDSM. Most people who do it also have normal “romantic” sex with me standing on his toes in shower, cuddling, etc.

Role play is meant to spice up sex life sometimes and depart from real life roles. Lots of women in leadership roles enjoy it.

A lot of couples would have benefited from learning more about female body and techniques used in BDSM that are very pleasurable for women

Agree. Saying that a woman’s sexual preferences are “wrong” because you don’t share them is misogynistic. Don’t yuck someone’s yum.

Any criticism of a woman is now misogynistic? LOL. I will "yuck someone's yum" all day every day, especially when said "yum" plays into a large framework of systemic oppression.

Nobody is oppressed calm down

[Anonymous]

imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

You are nuts nobody is beating crap out of anyone in role play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

You are nuts nobody is beating crap out of anyone in role play.

I mean, watch Baby Girl - he feeds her candy and orders milk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

You are nuts nobody is beating crap out of anyone in role play.

I mean, watch Baby Girl - he feeds her candy and orders milk.

And that makes the older insecure “executive” woman feel desirable with her younger “daddy”. He also uses advanced techniques to take her to O. Later teachers her husband who is in shock she cheated because he wouldn’t agree to f..k her in marriage the way she wants. Fingers in…