
You may want to talk to a lawyer first. |
Okay, so this actually sounds like a situation in which everyone is doing their best. You and your partner and doctors are trying to find a combination of meds that allows your child to participate in the classroom. The school, which cannot just magic up a 1:1 aide, is agreeing to a best-of-bad-options situation that will help to meet the immediate need. Contra some of the other folks on this thread, I actually think most folks in education are there because they genuinely like children and want to be there. I'm not saying you need to stop advocating, but there's value in assuming the other folks in this situation are real human beings, under their own pressures, and willing to work with you to make your child's education a success. |
Cite? special education is one of the largest unfunded programs that the feds foist on state and local governments |
Even if he has a one on one aid though is he getting any education out of that setting? I would begin the arduous process of pushing for a private placement where the teacher is teaching in a more appropriate way, stimulation needs are met, and the ratio is much lower. |
NP. At about 20% of the level of what's actually needed, and the number of kids covered by the law has quadrupled since it was written. It's like what's happening to the NHS in the UK, bottomless entitlements with inadequate funding leading to poor care and rationing. We should all be very angry at the federal government for putting everyone in this position. They watch school staff and parents tear each other limb from limb in a cage match while spouting platitudes. And at least IDEA comes with some funding; section 504 doesn't have any. Either they need to increase the funding, change the law, or both so something is actually working. I'm sorry, OP. My suspicion about the related services not starting is that they don't have a provider. There is a major SLP shortage right now and districts are scrambling for contractors (often virtual) or just loading their remaining SLPs with caseloads of 80-100, which of course burns them out and makes them quit. And then the students get slapdash services in groups of 5-6 kids because there's no way to fit them in otherwise. If you can do private, I would go that route as it will be higher quality and more consistent. |
Op here. Yes they don’t have providers. We do tons of private therapy every week in addition to intensive therapy in the summer. He actually does great in private therapies but cannot generalize the skills to the classroom. I really want to get him support in that setting since I feel I’ve gotten so much private therapy (and it is ongoing still too) and yet he’s still struggling. In his case, it feels like the private therapy just doesn’t help his school performance. |
+ There's always time to try to gaslight some parents! |
Exactly! |
Op - This was my child. My child is now in 11th grade, but when he was in early elementary, he exhibited very similar behaviors. We were disliked by the teacher, the admin, the other children's parents, everybody. People kept asking me to fix his behavior. We were trying! We also had a plan in place that the teacher didn't follow. What made it worse was that he is a black boy and I was told by a teacher that if I didn't fix him, he would end up in prison! They told me that my little 5-year-old boy was destined for prison! That part of his childhood was awful. Fast forward 10 years... my son is a kind gentle sweetheart. His issue is that he has an anxiety disorder. When he was little his anxiety manifested itself in the behaviors you described. Now he is 16 and he has other anxiety symptoms, but he is not a criminal. |
OP, this was my kid, but I don't think his symptoms were quite as challenging as what you've described. Instead of advocating so hard at school, I outsourced his special needs. I was more focused on having a good relationship with the administration and teachers, but that's probably because I'm conflict-avoidant. We made it through the most challenging years once we got his medication right, and he started practicing his sport before school. I spent much time with him after school, reteaching the curriculum because he wasn't learning in the classroom. Elementary school was almost a waste of time academically, but he did well socially, and he eventually learned how to get by in a classroom setting. Middle school has been much better. |
That’s pretty amazing that they are allowing you to send a volunteer in. That was not allowed in my son’s school. I think some teams are more creative than others and some teachers are more skilled at managing alternative learning styles than others. When mine was in younger years (even through MS) I had to give special permission for them to allow mine to work outside the classroom. Mine was never expected to sit in his seat. He could roll around the floor, walk around the classroom, lay on the floors in the hallways, etc. Some teachers were definitely more comfortable than others and some found him more distracting. I hope you figure out the medications soon. |
I'm really surprised that a public school is allowing a private volunteer. If other SN parents find out, does the school allow it for them too? What if they can't afford it? They're writing an IEP that requires parents to spend money for in school staff which seems questionable. Another similarly situated parent who can't afford it could easily push a due process complaint because the school is admitting that it doesn't have the necessary staffing to support mainstreaming and that with staffing progress can be made |
Op here. I am surprised and feel a bit weird about it. On the one hand I do appreciate the flexibility. I’ve also been very careful to frame it like the “volunteer” is just a family member who loves my child, not someone I am paying to be there. I just want my kid to do well, truly that’s all I care about. At the same time, it does feel like the school agrees he needs an aide but since for some reason that’s just not possible, they are letting me provide the aid basically privately. The volunteer still had to go through all the same background checks as anyone else. I know there are other ways I could approach this but they all take time to enforce, whereas this helper I can send in next week to support my kid. It’s a bandaid but if it helps him then maybe he can get on track within a few months and she can stop going. |
I’m sorry Op. document everything and sue your district for out of district placement. |
His IEP states a 1:1 aide and they aren't providing it? Something doesn't make sense. Nothing you've said here warrants pick up. As far as dealing with them not liking you/him, you just have to do it. I'm sorry. |