Coping with the knowledge that everyone views your kid as a problem?

[Anonymous]

My son just started kindergarten. He has an IEP. It’s been rocky.

The teacher seems exasperated with him.

The school isn’t following the IEP. I’m holding them accountable for following the IEP and feel their dislike of me and my child. It feels like they just want us to leave and go to another school.

I’m wondering how you handle this sense of rejection and knowing people don’t like you and your kid? I’m finding it so heartbreaking. I know I shouldn’t be surprised by any of this, but I didn’t expect this level of bias against my son with a disability.

[Anonymous]

School just started…how has it been rocky?

[Anonymous]

All of this after just one week of school? Maybe you want to lighten up a little and let the teacher get to know the kids and manage the class before expecting perfection with the IEP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:School just started…how has it been rocky?

Op here. We are a month in to school where I live. I would prefer not to detail all the problems at school, I’m sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of this after just one week of school? Maybe you want to lighten up a little and let the teacher get to know the kids and manage the class before expecting perfection with the IEP.

Op here. We are going into our 5th week of school in my district.

My son has not received any OT or speech therapy and the school is not following the BIP.

[Anonymous]

Write the principal and express your sadness and your sense that your child is not being supported.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Write the principal and express your sadness and your sense that your child is not being supported.

Op here. Yes, I’ve done that, and I’ve met with her and the teacher and the IEP team face to face.

I’m asking how people handle the feeling of bias/dislike of kids with disabilities.

My kid is not violent and he doesn’t elope, so it’s not a situation of him hurting other kids.

[Anonymous]

It's important to remember that the teacher probably has another 20-30 other high energy and needy 5 and 6 year old in the class. She additionally has another 80 little kids she also needs to instruct and develop lesson plans for. There are probably 200 parents all demanding that the teacher spend 100 percent of her time with their special child. She probably has no support from her administration.

You are probably not the only parent of a difficult child that is unprepared for kindergarten who is making things difficult for the teacher, which is impacting her ability to teach all the other students. The question is what are you doing to ensure your child can behave and learn in a classroom setting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's important to remember that the teacher probably has another 20-30 other high energy and needy 5 and 6 year old in the class. She additionally has another 80 little kids she also needs to instruct and develop lesson plans for. There are probably 200 parents all demanding that the teacher spend 100 percent of her time with their special child. She probably has no support from her administration.

You are probably not the only parent of a difficult child that is unprepared for kindergarten who is making things difficult for the teacher, which is impacting her ability to teach all the other students. The question is what are you doing to ensure your child can behave and learn in a classroom setting.

What Kindergarten classroom has 100 kids?

It sounds like OP worked hard to prepare her kid for Kindergarten by getting him the services and plans he needs. The school needs to do their job and provide the supports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's important to remember that the teacher probably has another 20-30 other high energy and needy 5 and 6 year old in the class. She additionally has another 80 little kids she also needs to instruct and develop lesson plans for. There are probably 200 parents all demanding that the teacher spend 100 percent of her time with their special child. She probably has no support from her administration.

You are probably not the only parent of a difficult child that is unprepared for kindergarten who is making things difficult for the teacher, which is impacting her ability to teach all the other students. The question is what are you doing to ensure your child can behave and learn in a classroom setting.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's important to remember that the teacher probably has another 20-30 other high energy and needy 5 and 6 year old in the class. She additionally has another 80 little kids she also needs to instruct and develop lesson plans for. There are probably 200 parents all demanding that the teacher spend 100 percent of her time with their special child. She probably has no support from her administration.

You are probably not the only parent of a difficult child that is unprepared for kindergarten who is making things difficult for the teacher, which is impacting her ability to teach all the other students. The question is what are you doing to ensure your child can behave and learn in a classroom setting.

No she doesn’t. She has at most 30 kids in her class.

[Anonymous]

It is hard, OP. Try to remember that as long as you remain respectful and professional, your job is to advocate for your child, especially when their IEP isn't being followed.

No half way decent person is going to view your child as a problem. They might need support from their administration. They might not like a whiny parent (I'm NOT saying you are whiny), but the CHILD is never the problem.

Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of this after just one week of school? Maybe you want to lighten up a little and let the teacher get to know the kids and manage the class before expecting perfection with the IEP.

Op here. We are going into our 5th week of school in my district.

My son has not received any OT or speech therapy and the school is not following the BIP.

Sorry. I assumed you were local.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's important to remember that the teacher probably has another 20-30 other high energy and needy 5 and 6 year old in the class. She additionally has another 80 little kids she also needs to instruct and develop lesson plans for. There are probably 200 parents all demanding that the teacher spend 100 percent of her time with their special child. She probably has no support from her administration.

You are probably not the only parent of a difficult child that is unprepared for kindergarten who is making things difficult for the teacher, which is impacting her ability to teach all the other students. The question is what are you doing to ensure your child can behave and learn in a classroom setting.

What Kindergarten classroom has 100 kids?

It sounds like OP worked hard to prepare her kid for Kindergarten by getting him the services and plans he needs. The school needs to do their job and provide the supports.

Op here. Thank you for acknowledging this.i truly am proud of the IEP he has and it was a massive amount of work. I’m sure it’s possible but where I live, I have never met another family with a kindergartener that came in with an IEP and BIP.

I feel like I have done my part. We’ve already had 2 full neuropsychologist assessments, two FBAs, and of course a ton of evals/follow up by a developmental pediatrician. I’ve shared everything with the school and been super transparent and collaborative with them. My son is also medicated for school.

I am so disappointed that they are providing NONE of what they agreed to in the IEP and when I raise it with them they throw up their hands and say they just don’t have the staff.

[Anonymous]

It’s so hard OP. I slowly got a tough skin about it but will still be shocked by how intolerant and unkind people routinely are to people with disabilities. It’s the same people that are all yay be kind so it’s also incredible how little self awareness people have. Bottom line is people do not want to feel like your childs needs impact them in any way, from having to speak to them to having them in their child’s class. Yes. It’s sad. It’s a hard truth. I am a very conventionally attractive and successful person with a lot of $ and privilege and it was a hard lesson to learn.