If you "tiger mom'd" your kids, how did they turn out in college (and beyond)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL's sons, two of them, were best friends with a kid who lived across the street. SIL was absolutely vicious about calling the kid's mother a "tiger mom." (And yes, there was an element of racism, SIL is white and the kid's parents are from China.) The kid's parents pushed him very hard academically.

He is now a doctor, finishing up residency. SIL's sons are living in her house, unemployed, playing online video games all night and stealing from her debit card every chance they get. These kids are all mid-30s now.

I gather if the only parenting options are Tiger Mom or White Trash, that everyone on this thread will pick the former.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been reading all kinds of anecdotal stories here about someone who knew someone who knew a tiger mom'd kid who Hopelessly Collapsed in College. I'm not interested in such third-hand gossip here, I want to hear from current or former tiger moms themselves.

You put your kid through everything from Kumon to prestige summer programs and now they're presumably at or graduated from an institution of no little prestige. How did it work out? Do you have any regrets? Advice?

Thanks in advance!

I've seen it. It's because it's relatively easy to scheme a kid into a selective undergrad by micro-managing them to pump their GPA, test prep and private tutors, and polishing their Common App. But once the teen is out of your house and away at college, there's no way you can micro manage them and curate their friends and stay on top of their assignments, so they regress to who they REALLY are. They're not collapsing so much as showing you who they REALLY are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to HYP and still won't forgive my tiger parents. They robbed me of happiness in my formative years that wasn't fully regained until my 40s.

Seems clear that you went to Princeton.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL's sons, two of them, were best friends with a kid who lived across the street. SIL was absolutely vicious about calling the kid's mother a "tiger mom." (And yes, there was an element of racism, SIL is white and the kid's parents are from China.) The kid's parents pushed him very hard academically.

He is now a doctor, finishing up residency. SIL's sons are living in her house, unemployed, playing online video games all night and stealing from her debit card every chance they get. These kids are all mid-30s now.

I'm confused by what a SIL is in this context?

Also, if the kid is finishing medical residency they're around 30 years old? What white trash were using 'tiger mom' as an epithet 15 years ago? I really doubt white trash in 2024 have even heard the term tiger mom or know who Amy Chua is.