Bisexual Husband

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’m still confused at OP’s first post. How exactly is he bi? What actions is he taking to suggest that? Is he going to the gym and comparing himself to other guys? If so, that’s not bi lol that’s normal.

Or is he actively looking at gay porn and talking about wanting to get it on with another man? Because if so, yea that’s bi.

For the record, yes, bisexual men exist. Get out of here with the “if he likes men, he is 100% gay” homophobia.

I’m a heterosexual woman and I don’t doubt that bisexual men exist at all. I have known quite a few. The thing is, even if they like me and are attracted to me, they are still too gay for me. I do not want to expose myself to HIV or other diseases that are more common among men who have sex with men than they are with men who only have sex with women. It is very dangerous to be a woman married to a bisexual man who is secretly acting out in his desires for sex with other men.

If I were the OP, I would be very scared about my hunches and also very vigilant about protecting myself.

To me, it is not clear how any bisexual can stay married in an exclusive (non-open) marriage (to either gender).

How so? My DH is straight. I’m sure there are other women out there he finds attractive, but to the best of my knowledge he isn’t banging them.

I guess if someone is bi there are more people they will find attractive, but I don’t think that necessarily means they’re more likely to cheat.

The whole definition of bi is someone who has sex with both genders.

Nope, it’s someone who experiences sexual attraction to both sexes. You don’t need to act on those urges to be bi.

So a bisexual in a marriage has to repress half their desire, while a straight person does not.

Straight married people repress their desire for other straight people all the time. It can be done!

Why would they have desire for other straight people if they are having straight sex with their spouse?

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

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Anonymous wrote:I’m still confused at OP’s first post. How exactly is he bi? What actions is he taking to suggest that? Is he going to the gym and comparing himself to other guys? If so, that’s not bi lol that’s normal.

Or is he actively looking at gay porn and talking about wanting to get it on with another man? Because if so, yea that’s bi.

For the record, yes, bisexual men exist. Get out of here with the “if he likes men, he is 100% gay” homophobia.

I’m a heterosexual woman and I don’t doubt that bisexual men exist at all. I have known quite a few. The thing is, even if they like me and are attracted to me, they are still too gay for me. I do not want to expose myself to HIV or other diseases that are more common among men who have sex with men than they are with men who only have sex with women. It is very dangerous to be a woman married to a bisexual man who is secretly acting out in his desires for sex with other men.

If I were the OP, I would be very scared about my hunches and also very vigilant about protecting myself.

To me, it is not clear how any bisexual can stay married in an exclusive (non-open) marriage (to either gender).

How so? My DH is straight. I’m sure there are other women out there he finds attractive, but to the best of my knowledge he isn’t banging them.

I guess if someone is bi there are more people they will find attractive, but I don’t think that necessarily means they’re more likely to cheat.

The whole definition of bi is someone who has sex with both genders.

Nope, it’s someone who experiences sexual attraction to both sexes. You don’t need to act on those urges to be bi.

So a bisexual in a marriage has to repress half their desire, while a straight person does not.

No, a straight married person has to repress their desire to have sex with more than one person for the rest of their life. That’s more than half for most people.

As a bisexual myself, I'm going to disagree.

I'm married to an opposite sex spouse. With whom I have sex regularly. That satisfies my desires for heterosexual sex and for partners of the opposite gender.

My desire for homosexual sex and a partner of the same gender must be squashed...if I am to remain faithful.

How old are you? Have you been with men before?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’m still confused at OP’s first post. How exactly is he bi? What actions is he taking to suggest that? Is he going to the gym and comparing himself to other guys? If so, that’s not bi lol that’s normal.

Or is he actively looking at gay porn and talking about wanting to get it on with another man? Because if so, yea that’s bi.

For the record, yes, bisexual men exist. Get out of here with the “if he likes men, he is 100% gay” homophobia.

I’m a heterosexual woman and I don’t doubt that bisexual men exist at all. I have known quite a few. The thing is, even if they like me and are attracted to me, they are still too gay for me. I do not want to expose myself to HIV or other diseases that are more common among men who have sex with men than they are with men who only have sex with women. It is very dangerous to be a woman married to a bisexual man who is secretly acting out in his desires for sex with other men.

If I were the OP, I would be very scared about my hunches and also very vigilant about protecting myself.

To me, it is not clear how any bisexual can stay married in an exclusive (non-open) marriage (to either gender).

How so? My DH is straight. I’m sure there are other women out there he finds attractive, but to the best of my knowledge he isn’t banging them.

I guess if someone is bi there are more people they will find attractive, but I don’t think that necessarily means they’re more likely to cheat.

The whole definition of bi is someone who has sex with both genders.

Nope, it’s someone who experiences sexual attraction to both sexes. You don’t need to act on those urges to be bi.

So a bisexual in a marriage has to repress half their desire, while a straight person does not.

Straight married people repress their desire for other straight people all the time. It can be done!

Why would they have desire for other straight people if they are having straight sex with their spouse?

No straight person has ever cheated. The evil bisexuals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

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Anonymous wrote:I’m still confused at OP’s first post. How exactly is he bi? What actions is he taking to suggest that? Is he going to the gym and comparing himself to other guys? If so, that’s not bi lol that’s normal.

Or is he actively looking at gay porn and talking about wanting to get it on with another man? Because if so, yea that’s bi.

For the record, yes, bisexual men exist. Get out of here with the “if he likes men, he is 100% gay” homophobia.

I’m a heterosexual woman and I don’t doubt that bisexual men exist at all. I have known quite a few. The thing is, even if they like me and are attracted to me, they are still too gay for me. I do not want to expose myself to HIV or other diseases that are more common among men who have sex with men than they are with men who only have sex with women. It is very dangerous to be a woman married to a bisexual man who is secretly acting out in his desires for sex with other men.

If I were the OP, I would be very scared about my hunches and also very vigilant about protecting myself.

To me, it is not clear how any bisexual can stay married in an exclusive (non-open) marriage (to either gender).

How so? My DH is straight. I’m sure there are other women out there he finds attractive, but to the best of my knowledge he isn’t banging them.

I guess if someone is bi there are more people they will find attractive, but I don’t think that necessarily means they’re more likely to cheat.

The whole definition of bi is someone who has sex with both genders.

Nope, it’s someone who experiences sexual attraction to both sexes. You don’t need to act on those urges to be bi.

So a bisexual in a marriage has to repress half their desire, while a straight person does not.

No, a straight married person has to repress their desire to have sex with more than one person for the rest of their life. That’s more than half for most people.

As a bisexual myself, I'm going to disagree.

I'm married to an opposite sex spouse. With whom I have sex regularly. That satisfies my desires for heterosexual sex and for partners of the opposite gender.

My desire for homosexual sex and a partner of the same gender must be squashed...if I am to remain faithful.

How old are you? Have you been with men before?

50something. I have had same gender sexual experiences and opposite gender sexual experiences. I never mentioned my own gender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m still confused at OP’s first post. How exactly is he bi? What actions is he taking to suggest that? Is he going to the gym and comparing himself to other guys? If so, that’s not bi lol that’s normal.

Or is he actively looking at gay porn and talking about wanting to get it on with another man? Because if so, yea that’s bi.

For the record, yes, bisexual men exist. Get out of here with the “if he likes men, he is 100% gay” homophobia.

I’m a heterosexual woman and I don’t doubt that bisexual men exist at all. I have known quite a few. The thing is, even if they like me and are attracted to me, they are still too gay for me. I do not want to expose myself to HIV or other diseases that are more common among men who have sex with men than they are with men who only have sex with women. It is very dangerous to be a woman married to a bisexual man who is secretly acting out in his desires for sex with other men.

If I were the OP, I would be very scared about my hunches and also very vigilant about protecting myself.

To me, it is not clear how any bisexual can stay married in an exclusive (non-open) marriage (to either gender).

How so? My DH is straight. I’m sure there are other women out there he finds attractive, but to the best of my knowledge he isn’t banging them.

I guess if someone is bi there are more people they will find attractive, but I don’t think that necessarily means they’re more likely to cheat.

The whole definition of bi is someone who has sex with both genders.

Nope, it’s someone who experiences sexual attraction to both sexes. You don’t need to act on those urges to be bi.

So a bisexual in a marriage has to repress half their desire, while a straight person does not.

No, a straight married person has to repress their desire to have sex with more than one person for the rest of their life. That’s more than half for most people.

As a bisexual myself, I'm going to disagree.

I'm married to an opposite sex spouse. With whom I have sex regularly. That satisfies my desires for heterosexual sex and for partners of the opposite gender.

My desire for homosexual sex and a partner of the same gender must be squashed...if I am to remain faithful.

How old are you? Have you been with men before?

50something. I have had same gender sexual experiences and opposite gender sexual experiences. I never mentioned my own gender.

And when you get together with your partner, you’re all like, let’s go have heterosexual sex!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have a bisexual husband? If so, how and when did he come out to you? I think my partner may be bi. I want to talk to him about it but don’t want to make him feel embarrassed or defensive.

Seems like several actual bisexual spouses are FINALLY weighing in with their real-life experiences; only took 9 pages.

OP, did you ever come back to this thread or was it a drive-by?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure that is true that there are bisexual men, but at least until recently it was just easier to get sex with men generation to generation compared to women and so the likelihood of being able to stop MSM is small. Plus women have more susceptibility to diseases. So whether they are really bi or gay, it doesn't really matter practically speaking if the person is in denial or wanting to hide any part of their sexuality.

I feel like I'm a reasonably smart person with good reading comprehension, but I have no idea what point you are trying to make.

There are too many dating sites and too many men willing to risk anything for sex to curb their desires. It's not possible for a woman to stop a man from having sex with women or men these days because of all the options they have to have sex discreetly. Men having sex with men is the most dangerous of all types of sex between humans for women. Doesn't matter whether they are open or closeted or unsure. It is still dangerous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure that is true that there are bisexual men, but at least until recently it was just easier to get sex with men generation to generation compared to women and so the likelihood of being able to stop MSM is small. Plus women have more susceptibility to diseases. So whether they are really bi or gay, it doesn't really matter practically speaking if the person is in denial or wanting to hide any part of their sexuality.

I feel like I'm a reasonably smart person with good reading comprehension, but I have no idea what point you are trying to make.

There are too many dating sites and too many men willing to risk anything for sex to curb their desires. It's not possible for a woman to stop a man from having sex with women or men these days because of all the options they have to have sex discreetly. Men having sex with men is the most dangerous of all types of sex between humans for women. Doesn't matter whether they are open or closeted or unsure. It is still dangerous.

Not if they simply use a condom.

[Anonymous]

If a husband has the tendency to be verbally aggressive towards women, does it mean he’s on the gay or bi side?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure that is true that there are bisexual men, but at least until recently it was just easier to get sex with men generation to generation compared to women and so the likelihood of being able to stop MSM is small. Plus women have more susceptibility to diseases. So whether they are really bi or gay, it doesn't really matter practically speaking if the person is in denial or wanting to hide any part of their sexuality.

I feel like I'm a reasonably smart person with good reading comprehension, but I have no idea what point you are trying to make.

There are too many dating sites and too many men willing to risk anything for sex to curb their desires. It's not possible for a woman to stop a man from having sex with women or men these days because of all the options they have to have sex discreetly. Men having sex with men is the most dangerous of all types of sex between humans for women. Doesn't matter whether they are open or closeted or unsure. It is still dangerous.

Not if they simply use a condom.

If only. There's actually nothing "simple" about it. Sure, it should be easy, but even educated DMV adults are not always smart when they're h*rny, to be blunt.

I'm not the PP you're responding to, but re: condoms, they are only about 87 percent effective overall (according to Planned Parenthood stats).That leaves a lot of leeway, more than many would be comfortable with, for pregnancy or STDs. Condoms have to be perfect (no rips, tears etc.) and put on and removed perfectly every single time to reach the 97-98 percent effectiveness rate that the manufacturers use.

A somewhat old but still worrying study listed all the ways that people misuse and damage condoms: https://www.nbcnews.com/healthmain/condom-use-101-basic-errors-are-so-common-study-finds-207925

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure that is true that there are bisexual men, but at least until recently it was just easier to get sex with men generation to generation compared to women and so the likelihood of being able to stop MSM is small. Plus women have more susceptibility to diseases. So whether they are really bi or gay, it doesn't really matter practically speaking if the person is in denial or wanting to hide any part of their sexuality.

I feel like I'm a reasonably smart person with good reading comprehension, but I have no idea what point you are trying to make.

There are too many dating sites and too many men willing to risk anything for sex to curb their desires. It's not possible for a woman to stop a man from having sex with women or men these days because of all the options they have to have sex discreetly. Men having sex with men is the most dangerous of all types of sex between humans for women. Doesn't matter whether they are open or closeted or unsure. It is still dangerous.

Not if they simply use a condom.

My closeted ex didn't use condoms for oral.

[Anonymous]

My husband rides a moped

[Anonymous]

I'm not surprised women think a bisexual DH means he's out prowling truck stops every weekend.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’m very curious about this. My XH definitely liked women (and is currently with a woman now). But one day when our marriage was on the rocks he suggested an open marriage and threesome. I assumed he wanted two women at the same time but he said he wanted another man, not so he could watch him with me but *to do him from behind*. We never did it and eventually divorced but this statement of his still lives rent free in my brain.

Maybe he just really wanted to try anal but couldn't find a woman who would do it.

Yeah, I know it’s popular, but the really wanting to try anal in and of itself is pretty gay. Most straight men are perfectly happy with a self-lubricating, feces-free vagina.

I don’t think that’s true at all. I’ve had lots of sex with lots of men who were very hetero and they were all interested in the anal option - which isn’t an option with me. I think typical hetero men in particular will F any hole they can, if they can get away with it.

Correct.

DH here. Straight guys like anal, but ONLY with women (not men).

Pretty sure gay dudes or bis want to kiss (and do other stuff) with another man. NO THANK YOU!

How exactly do you know what ALL straight guys like or don't like?

Guys talk. Not so much now that we are all married. But during my dating years, we talked, and often anal (with women) came up when guys talk about s*x. It is a lot more common than you might think and yes- there are many, many women who enjoy it (as in: they like it; they want to do it). Is it “all” straight guys or all women ? Of course no one can know everything. But it is quite common.

But I have never known a straight guy who even hinted he had done stuff with other guys, or even fantasized about that.

Straight women talk, too. Maybe they exist, I’m not saying they don’t, but I have yet to personally know even one woman who liked anal. (And yet every man seems to know so many women who love it, lol.)

I’d take those frat boy conversations you and your buddies used to have with a grain of salt. When my friends and I used to discuss sex with each other, we wanted advice, not a high five. I’m guessing you and your buddies wanted to show off while using porn as the high authority of sexual gratification.

Sooo many wrong assumptions on your part, PP. for starters, I was a GDI.

But whatever you choose to believe, you do you.

Beyond you talking to your friends and me talking to my friends, I also know what I know from personal experience.

I also know too many women who think like you do, who express revulsion at anything ana! related, and openly state how disgusted they are at even the thought of lovemaking that way.

You do realize just how homophobic you are when you express your disgust, right?

You sound super conservative or super old (possibly both).

Stop with the slurs and your nonsense. Outside of porn, most women are not into anal. Nothing homophobic about that.

Bisexual woman

Thank you, PP. The poster who has, twice, equated a woman's dislike for anal with being homophobic is simply insane. Zero correlation between those two things and a totally nonsensical thing to say. Thank you for calling that person out on it.

Sigh.

You still don’t understand your implicit bias against LGTBQIA+. Try this on:

1) “I personally would not enjoy kissing a woman because I am straight and prefer kissing men”

Vs:

2) “Two women kissing each other is simply disgusting!”




Your prior comments more closely resemble the second example.