Bisexual Husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very few men are actually bisexual. Most are just in denile / closeted gay

Anybody who spells denial the way you just did has no credibility whatsoever

It's Da Nile. Runs long and deep.

[Anonymous]

I’m still confused at OP’s first post. How exactly is he bi? What actions is he taking to suggest that? Is he going to the gym and comparing himself to other guys? If so, that’s not bi lol that’s normal.

Or is he actively looking at gay porn and talking about wanting to get it on with another man? Because if so, yea that’s bi.

For the record, yes, bisexual men exist. Get out of here with the “if he likes men, he is 100% gay” homophobia.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure that is true that there are bisexual men, but at least until recently it was just easier to get sex with men generation to generation compared to women and so the likelihood of being able to stop MSM is small. Plus women have more susceptibility to diseases. So whether they are really bi or gay, it doesn't really matter practically speaking if the person is in denial or wanting to hide any part of their sexuality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure that is true that there are bisexual men, but at least until recently it was just easier to get sex with men generation to generation compared to women and so the likelihood of being able to stop MSM is small. Plus women have more susceptibility to diseases. So whether they are really bi or gay, it doesn't really matter practically speaking if the person is in denial or wanting to hide any part of their sexuality.

I feel like I'm a reasonably smart person with good reading comprehension, but I have no idea what point you are trying to make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m still confused at OP’s first post. How exactly is he bi? What actions is he taking to suggest that? Is he going to the gym and comparing himself to other guys? If so, that’s not bi lol that’s normal.

Or is he actively looking at gay porn and talking about wanting to get it on with another man? Because if so, yea that’s bi.

For the record, yes, bisexual men exist. Get out of here with the “if he likes men, he is 100% gay” homophobia.

Totally agree with all of this. Men have been attracted to my husband and when I tell people this, everyone seems to delight in accusing him of being a closeted gay man. It’s irritating for me because the assumption is that I, for seventeen years, have been duped into thinking my husband is sexually attracted to me. I don’t know why it’s so acceptable to question the sexuality of a man who says he is straight and accuse me of being an unwitting party to his ruse. Just because my husband takes care of his body and a few gay men have had crushes on him doesn’t mean he’s not attracted to me.

I definitely don’t think he’s bi but I don’t think it’s as bad to accuse him of being bi as it is to accuse him of being gay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure that is true that there are bisexual men, but at least until recently it was just easier to get sex with men generation to generation compared to women and so the likelihood of being able to stop MSM is small. Plus women have more susceptibility to diseases. So whether they are really bi or gay, it doesn't really matter practically speaking if the person is in denial or wanting to hide any part of their sexuality.

I feel like I'm a reasonably smart person with good reading comprehension, but I have no idea what point you are trying to make.

+1 Word salad. And seems to have some assertions which appear impossible to support. "Easier to get sex with men generation to generation compared to women"? WTF?

[Anonymous]

Maybe I missed it, but has OP been back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m still confused at OP’s first post. How exactly is he bi? What actions is he taking to suggest that? Is he going to the gym and comparing himself to other guys? If so, that’s not bi lol that’s normal.

Or is he actively looking at gay porn and talking about wanting to get it on with another man? Because if so, yea that’s bi.

For the record, yes, bisexual men exist. Get out of here with the “if he likes men, he is 100% gay” homophobia.

Totally agree with all of this. Men have been attracted to my husband and when I tell people this, everyone seems to delight in accusing him of being a closeted gay man. It’s irritating for me because the assumption is that I, for seventeen years, have been duped into thinking my husband is sexually attracted to me. I don’t know why it’s so acceptable to question the sexuality of a man who says he is straight and accuse me of being an unwitting party to his ruse. Just because my husband takes care of his body and a few gay men have had crushes on him doesn’t mean he’s not attracted to me.

I definitely don’t think he’s bi but I don’t think it’s as bad to accuse him of being bi as it is to accuse him of being gay.

PP, the part that's standing out to me is in the bold: "When I tell people this...."

Why does this even come up in discussion with "people" other than your husband? I can see his telling you if he got hit on by some guy at the the gym or whatever. Couples talk about things like that. I can't see why it's something you feel you want to mention to other people unless you and your friends talk a LOT about your sex lives and marriages. Even then, if it irked you once when you brought it up to someone, why have you done so again?

You won't get irritated by people's "delight in accusing him of being a closeted gay man" if you just don't mention that men have been attracted to him. It's really not relevant to anyone but you and your DH, is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very few men are actually bisexual. Most are just in denile / closeted gay

Ain't just a river in Egypt

[Anonymous]

I think most men would accept a BJ from anyone given the right situation. I heard a story of some neighborhood men starting a circle "you know what" at a golf weekend and one guy helped another out. It was a means to an end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most men would accept a BJ from anyone given the right situation. I heard a story of some neighborhood men starting a circle "you know what" at a golf weekend and one guy helped another out. It was a means to an end.

I think in theory this is true, but a lot of those "most" men would, for various reasons, fear actually going through with it.

Signed, a man who has gone through with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m still confused at OP’s first post. How exactly is he bi? What actions is he taking to suggest that? Is he going to the gym and comparing himself to other guys? If so, that’s not bi lol that’s normal.

Or is he actively looking at gay porn and talking about wanting to get it on with another man? Because if so, yea that’s bi.

For the record, yes, bisexual men exist. Get out of here with the “if he likes men, he is 100% gay” homophobia.

I’m a heterosexual woman and I don’t doubt that bisexual men exist at all. I have known quite a few. The thing is, even if they like me and are attracted to me, they are still too gay for me. I do not want to expose myself to HIV or other diseases that are more common among men who have sex with men than they are with men who only have sex with women. It is very dangerous to be a woman married to a bisexual man who is secretly acting out in his desires for sex with other men.

If I were the OP, I would be very scared about my hunches and also very vigilant about protecting myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m still confused at OP’s first post. How exactly is he bi? What actions is he taking to suggest that? Is he going to the gym and comparing himself to other guys? If so, that’s not bi lol that’s normal.

Or is he actively looking at gay porn and talking about wanting to get it on with another man? Because if so, yea that’s bi.

For the record, yes, bisexual men exist. Get out of here with the “if he likes men, he is 100% gay” homophobia.

I’m a heterosexual woman and I don’t doubt that bisexual men exist at all. I have known quite a few. The thing is, even if they like me and are attracted to me, they are still too gay for me. I do not want to expose myself to HIV or other diseases that are more common among men who have sex with men than they are with men who only have sex with women. It is very dangerous to be a woman married to a bisexual man who is secretly acting out in his desires for sex with other men.

If I were the OP, I would be very scared about my hunches and also very vigilant about protecting myself.

To me, it is not clear how any bisexual can stay married in an exclusive (non-open) marriage (to either gender).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m still confused at OP’s first post. How exactly is he bi? What actions is he taking to suggest that? Is he going to the gym and comparing himself to other guys? If so, that’s not bi lol that’s normal.

Or is he actively looking at gay porn and talking about wanting to get it on with another man? Because if so, yea that’s bi.

For the record, yes, bisexual men exist. Get out of here with the “if he likes men, he is 100% gay” homophobia.

I’m a heterosexual woman and I don’t doubt that bisexual men exist at all. I have known quite a few. The thing is, even if they like me and are attracted to me, they are still too gay for me. I do not want to expose myself to HIV or other diseases that are more common among men who have sex with men than they are with men who only have sex with women. It is very dangerous to be a woman married to a bisexual man who is secretly acting out in his desires for sex with other men.

If I were the OP, I would be very scared about my hunches and also very vigilant about protecting myself.

To me, it is not clear how any bisexual can stay married in an exclusive (non-open) marriage (to either gender).

How so? My DH is straight. I’m sure there are other women out there he finds attractive, but to the best of my knowledge he isn’t banging them.

I guess if someone is bi there are more people they will find attractive, but I don’t think that necessarily means they’re more likely to cheat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m still confused at OP’s first post. How exactly is he bi? What actions is he taking to suggest that? Is he going to the gym and comparing himself to other guys? If so, that’s not bi lol that’s normal.

Or is he actively looking at gay porn and talking about wanting to get it on with another man? Because if so, yea that’s bi.

For the record, yes, bisexual men exist. Get out of here with the “if he likes men, he is 100% gay” homophobia.

I’m a heterosexual woman and I don’t doubt that bisexual men exist at all. I have known quite a few. The thing is, even if they like me and are attracted to me, they are still too gay for me. I do not want to expose myself to HIV or other diseases that are more common among men who have sex with men than they are with men who only have sex with women. It is very dangerous to be a woman married to a bisexual man who is secretly acting out in his desires for sex with other men.

If I were the OP, I would be very scared about my hunches and also very vigilant about protecting myself.

To me, it is not clear how any bisexual can stay married in an exclusive (non-open) marriage (to either gender).

Agree.

Wouldn’t that be like killing off half of your sexual identity forever?