Any all-boy moms wistful about not having a daughter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fortunate girl AND boy mom here. Birth order is DD, DS20, DD. I’m allowed to say this; I love boys! They are intensely more physically and emotionally more active toddler through adolescence, but the payoff is mutual low key, drama-free love and devotion.

My tight group of Mom Friends is compromised of moms of DS’ friends from ES.

I’ve never gotten along with (All) Girl Moms in this way - these Moms seem to want to re-live their youth in a catty, competitive and mean-spirited through their daughters. No thank you-I’m done with sorority life!

Boy Moms are just more relaxed, likely because they are not subject to constant emotional high and lows and chatter and analysis of every nuance and situation.

Boy moms are more relaxed b/c people aren't judging them all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was sad when my second was a boy (and we knew we were done at two). But, now I am so grateful to only have boys. So much less risk of passing down all the eating disorder, enmeshment, etc toxicity from my own mom. I am able to see my kids as complete people totally separate from me and I can focus on who they are and what they need. I see other women projecting so much onto their daughters that it makes my heart ache. (Not that this doesn't happen with sons, I just see it more often with daughters.)

This. I am so thankful for my boys. I have so much less drama and worry. I grew up in a family of girls and this is so much more light and fun. Plus all the money I didn’t spend on clothes and appearances!

You actually have no way to know you have less drama and worry. My girls are amazing, and shopping for them (when they were small) and with them (now that they are older) is a joy. I’ll never know what it’s like to have boys, so why would I say “I’m so glad I don’t have boys” when I couldn’t possibly know what it’s like? I wouldn’t say that. You all are weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fortunate girl AND boy mom here. Birth order is DD, DS20, DD. I’m allowed to say this; I love boys! They are intensely more physically and emotionally more active toddler through adolescence, but the payoff is mutual low key, drama-free love and devotion.

My tight group of Mom Friends is compromised of moms of DS’ friends from ES.

I’ve never gotten along with (All) Girl Moms in this way - these Moms seem to want to re-live their youth in a catty, competitive and mean-spirited through their daughters. No thank you-I’m done with sorority life!

Boy Moms are just more relaxed, likely because they are not subject to constant emotional high and lows and chatter and analysis of every nuance and situation.

Huh. Lotta drama and judgment in your post there, for someone who is allegedly so great lol.

[Anonymous]

Of course they are. But it’s not human nature to admit that, even to yourself sometimes

[Anonymous]

It's sad how many boy moms on here are preemptively competitive with their hypothetical DIL's hypothetical mom. Just relax, not everything is a competition. If you maintain a good relationship with your kids, you will get to spend time with them. Don't be that MIL who is always whiny and bean-counting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fortunate girl AND boy mom here. Birth order is DD, DS20, DD. I’m allowed to say this; I love boys! They are intensely more physically and emotionally more active toddler through adolescence, but the payoff is mutual low key, drama-free love and devotion.

My tight group of Mom Friends is compromised of moms of DS’ friends from ES.

I’ve never gotten along with (All) Girl Moms in this way - these Moms seem to want to re-live their youth in a catty, competitive and mean-spirited through their daughters. No thank you-I’m done with sorority life!

Boy Moms are just more relaxed, likely because they are not subject to constant emotional high and lows and chatter and analysis of every nuance and situation.

Huh. Lotta drama and judgment in your post there, for someone who is allegedly so great lol.

Just speaking from experience. I’ll also add that I work with students of all ages and boys are easier in this role.

Boy moms are indeed more relaxed and not hyper competitive. Of course exceptions but I experienced more outright criticism and judgement from all-girl moms about my DS than I ever did with my DDs. Moms who would watch him play and cringe and exclaim they could never have a boy because “so wild” or “so active.” Total prisspots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fortunate girl AND boy mom here. Birth order is DD, DS20, DD. I’m allowed to say this; I love boys! They are intensely more physically and emotionally more active toddler through adolescence, but the payoff is mutual low key, drama-free love and devotion.

My tight group of Mom Friends is compromised of moms of DS’ friends from ES.

I’ve never gotten along with (All) Girl Moms in this way - these Moms seem to want to re-live their youth in a catty, competitive and mean-spirited through their daughters. No thank you-I’m done with sorority life!

Boy Moms are just more relaxed, likely because they are not subject to constant emotional high and lows and chatter and analysis of every nuance and situation.

Huh. Lotta drama and judgment in your post there, for someone who is allegedly so great lol.

Just speaking from experience. I’ll also add that I work with students of all ages and boys are easier in this role.

Boy moms are indeed more relaxed and not hyper competitive. Of course exceptions but I experienced more outright criticism and judgement from all-girl moms about my DS than I ever did with my DDs. Moms who would watch him play and cringe and exclaim they could never have a boy because “so wild” or “so active.” Total prisspots.

But are you considering people like yourself who have both “boy moms”? Because I think most people associate “boy mom” with people who have ONLY boys…

(I also have both and am feeling bad for your daughters, this isn’t my experience at all!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was sad when my second was a boy (and we knew we were done at two). But, now I am so grateful to only have boys. So much less risk of passing down all the eating disorder, enmeshment, etc toxicity from my own mom. I am able to see my kids as complete people totally separate from me and I can focus on who they are and what they need. I see other women projecting so much onto their daughters that it makes my heart ache. (Not that this doesn't happen with sons, I just see it more often with daughters.)

This. I am so thankful for my boys. I have so much less drama and worry. I grew up in a family of girls and this is so much more light and fun. Plus all the money I didn’t spend on clothes and appearances!

You actually have no way to know you have less drama and worry. My girls are amazing, and shopping for them (when they were small) and with them (now that they are older) is a joy. I’ll never know what it’s like to have boys, so why would I say “I’m so glad I don’t have boys” when I couldn’t possibly know what it’s like? I wouldn’t say that. You all are weird.

Exactly!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fortunate girl AND boy mom here. Birth order is DD, DS20, DD. I’m allowed to say this; I love boys! They are intensely more physically and emotionally more active toddler through adolescence, but the payoff is mutual low key, drama-free love and devotion.

My tight group of Mom Friends is compromised of moms of DS’ friends from ES.

I’ve never gotten along with (All) Girl Moms in this way - these Moms seem to want to re-live their youth in a catty, competitive and mean-spirited through their daughters. No thank you-I’m done with sorority life!

Boy Moms are just more relaxed, likely because they are not subject to constant emotional high and lows and chatter and analysis of every nuance and situation.

Huh. Lotta drama and judgment in your post there, for someone who is allegedly so great lol.

Just speaking from experience. I’ll also add that I work with students of all ages and boys are easier in this role.

Boy moms are indeed more relaxed and not hyper competitive. Of course exceptions but I experienced more outright criticism and judgement from all-girl moms about my DS than I ever did with my DDs. Moms who would watch him play and cringe and exclaim they could never have a boy because “so wild” or “so active.” Total prisspots.

Boy mom being competitive about how they are less competitive than girl moms.

CLASSIC!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fortunate girl AND boy mom here. Birth order is DD, DS20, DD. I’m allowed to say this; I love boys! They are intensely more physically and emotionally more active toddler through adolescence, but the payoff is mutual low key, drama-free love and devotion.

My tight group of Mom Friends is compromised of moms of DS’ friends from ES.

I’ve never gotten along with (All) Girl Moms in this way - these Moms seem to want to re-live their youth in a catty, competitive and mean-spirited through their daughters. No thank you-I’m done with sorority life!

Boy Moms are just more relaxed, likely because they are not subject to constant emotional high and lows and chatter and analysis of every nuance and situation.

Huh. Lotta drama and judgment in your post there, for someone who is allegedly so great lol.

Just speaking from experience. I’ll also add that I work with students of all ages and boys are easier in this role.

Boy moms are indeed more relaxed and not hyper competitive. Of course exceptions but I experienced more outright criticism and judgement from all-girl moms about my DS than I ever did with my DDs. Moms who would watch him play and cringe and exclaim they could never have a boy because “so wild” or “so active.” Total prisspots.

NP, and mom of one daughter and two sons - your attitude sucks, PP. It’s mean-spirited and misogynist. Your experience isn’t universal; drawing such stereotypes is lousy.

I get along with any and all moms who are down to earth, kind, funny, supportive, mutual, regardless of the gender and number of kids they have. Judging someone on something over which they had no control is absurd. How some parents choose to identify themselves, e.g., #boymom or #girlmom is different - it’s making something their identity that doesn’t need to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course they are. But it’s not human nature to admit that, even to yourself sometimes

"of course they are" ugh. Why can't people have different experiences? Why do you have to assume that EVERY woman wants a daughter vs a son? There certainly are some who do. There are also tons of us who are just thankful for exactly what we have. This is the only part of having all boys that makes me sort of sad...that some people (mostly other women) think my family isn't "complete" because I am "missing my girl". My children fulfill me in a way I never thought was possible and their assigned sex at birth has nothing to do with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What makes me sad is the matrilineal bond is so much stronger. Boys do what the wife's family wants, often, leaving the boy-grandmother out in the cold.

This. My grandmother has 6 boys. They all loved her and were devoted to her. She had good relationships with her daughters in law too. She even died in the comfort of her son's home, surrounded by family.

But in her last days, at 87, she lamented the stillborn girl she'd had 60 years prior. She also told me the girls names she had picked out for boys 4,5, and 6...she openly admitted to yearning for a daughter in her last days, though she never spoke a word of her feelings until age 85. We granddaughters tried to fill in as best we could.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have boys and I do things with them like baking or crafting (which I don’t actually enjoy).
I have many friends with both boys and girls and most moms seem to be very close to the daughters. There are mother/daughter trips, special outings etc. It seems that the default is moms doing things with the daughters and dads doing things with the boys.
If they have all girls, the dynamic is different.

This is something that I find strange in popular media actually. The whole concept of "Daddy's Girls" and "Momma's Boys". With both of my kids (both girls), and their close friends who come over *a lot* (boys and girls), I don't see this dynamic playing out so clearly in real life. In most cases, the kids, regardless of gender, are more bonded with their moms (even the kids with stay at home dad's). Maybe it's because our kids are tweens/early teens and perhaps that will all change. Also, as an adult, I have quite a number of friends who have trying relationships with their dads, but not with their moms, who generally are very involved grandmothers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fortunate girl AND boy mom here. Birth order is DD, DS20, DD. I’m allowed to say this; I love boys! They are intensely more physically and emotionally more active toddler through adolescence, but the payoff is mutual low key, drama-free love and devotion.

My tight group of Mom Friends is compromised of moms of DS’ friends from ES.

I’ve never gotten along with (All) Girl Moms in this way - these Moms seem to want to re-live their youth in a catty, competitive and mean-spirited through their daughters. No thank you-I’m done with sorority life!

Boy Moms are just more relaxed, likely because they are not subject to constant emotional high and lows and chatter and analysis of every nuance and situation.

Huh. Lotta drama and judgment in your post there, for someone who is allegedly so great lol.

Just speaking from experience. I’ll also add that I work with students of all ages and boys are easier in this role.

Boy moms are indeed more relaxed and not hyper competitive. Of course exceptions but I experienced more outright criticism and judgement from all-girl moms about my DS than I ever did with my DDs. Moms who would watch him play and cringe and exclaim they could never have a boy because “so wild” or “so active.” Total prisspots.

I have 2 girls. Both are extremely active, play 3 sports each, and have very little interest in shopping outside athletic gear. Though a few boy moms (when they were young) said they were hyper and active. My girls still like to climb trees and ride bikes. I was told they were too talkative too. Also by boy moms: " wow, does she ever shut off"? In my experience boy moms aren't any better than anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fortunate girl AND boy mom here. Birth order is DD, DS20, DD. I’m allowed to say this; I love boys! They are intensely more physically and emotionally more active toddler through adolescence, but the payoff is mutual low key, drama-free love and devotion.

My tight group of Mom Friends is compromised of moms of DS’ friends from ES.

I’ve never gotten along with (All) Girl Moms in this way - these Moms seem to want to re-live their youth in a catty, competitive and mean-spirited through their daughters. No thank you-I’m done with sorority life!

Boy Moms are just more relaxed, likely because they are not subject to constant emotional high and lows and chatter and analysis of every nuance and situation.

Huh. Lotta drama and judgment in your post there, for someone who is allegedly so great lol.

Just speaking from experience. I’ll also add that I work with students of all ages and boys are easier in this role.

Boy moms are indeed more relaxed and not hyper competitive. Of course exceptions but I experienced more outright criticism and judgement from all-girl moms about my DS than I ever did with my DDs. Moms who would watch him play and cringe and exclaim they could never have a boy because “so wild” or “so active.” Total prisspots.

NP, and mom of one daughter and two sons - your attitude sucks, PP. It’s mean-spirited and misogynist. Your experience isn’t universal; drawing such stereotypes is lousy.

I get along with any and all moms who are down to earth, kind, funny, supportive, mutual, regardless of the gender and number of kids they have. Judging someone on something over which they had no control is absurd. How some parents choose to identify themselves, e.g., #boymom or #girlmom is different - it’s making something their identity that doesn’t need to be.

Also a #bothmom and I feel the exact same way as you. Feel bad for PP’s daughter, assuming she actually exists. And I can’t imagine picking or even identifying my friends based on something like that…SPEAKING of cringe.