Any all-boy moms wistful about not having a daughter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What makes me sad is the matrilineal bond is so much stronger. Boys do what the wife's family wants, often, leaving the boy-grandmother out in the cold.

This is very true. Just think of all the complaints about in-laws on here, 99% of which are from wives, and that means they're not ever prioritizing that side of the family.

[Anonymous]

Nah, it is what it is.

[Anonymous]

I have all boys and all of the same gender can be (in a stereotypical sense) a lot of the same gender. Thus far my kids are pretty similar, so we really try to lean in when we see someone interested in something different from their brothers.

There are times (not so much now with pre-teens and teens, but other times) when I'm a little sad not to have a daughter. I think it would be a great experience for my husband to have a little girl so I'm sad for him too.

And I do worry about the future and what our relationships will look like if they partner off, so I really try to model valuing both sides of our family and my DH is really close with his parents so they see that too. I know I haven't been the perfect DIL, and when the kids were younger I totally preferred my mom to my MIL b/c my mom would actually listen to what I asked of her - but now that they're older if anything we spend more time with my ILs b/c they are quite a bit younger than my parents.

Boy moms should take a lot of notes about what does/doesn't work in their relationship with their MIL to carry with them into the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friends are going with their tweens to Taylor Swift, making bracelets, etc. Such a bonding experience. It just hit me that I won't have that. I mean, I love my boys, but ... they like baseball, and I love their games and watch them, but it's not the same exactly, and sometimes I feel wistful!!

I knew this thread would turn into "why girls suck" and so glad I am a boy mom. Why can't you be happy with what you have without tearing down girls? If your boys marry girls is this how you are going to treat them? Do you forget you are women too? Or is the misogyny so ingrained?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I’m so glad I don’t have the daily drama. I’m not a crafty or girly woman so maybe that has something to do with it, but there’s nowhere I’d rather be than their baseball games. I would hate having to acquire tickets and then deal with the Taylor Swift concert

Not every girl is crafty. Some like sports! Imagine that. As for Taylor Swift not many people can afford

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to be, but with every year, I love being a boy mom more. They're into nature and animals, and I enjoy that with them. I love planning trips for us and look forward to many more adventurous travels.

Yes, of course. No girl ever likes nature, camping or animals

[Anonymous]

I know you meant it as tongue in cheek, but c'mon. Grow up. Think about how many people who want children can't have them. Think of how many people have children with special conditions that most of us don't have to deal with. Hug your boys, thank all the gods in all the heavens that they exist, and move on.

[Anonymous]

FWIW, OP, I have a boy and a girl and my daughter is a total jock, least girly-girl ever.

Even if you get what you think you want, it still may not be what you expected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What makes me sad is the matrilineal bond is so much stronger. Boys do what the wife's family wants, often, leaving the boy-grandmother out in the cold.

Agree. This is my biggest worry. For now, I love my boys and feel very close to them. I’m not wistful all about missing out on stuff that OP describes. I’m just so worried about adulthood and grandkids, and being second fiddle to the DIL’s family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What makes me sad is the matrilineal bond is so much stronger. Boys do what the wife's family wants, often, leaving the boy-grandmother out in the cold.

This. I love being a boy mom but someone recently made this point and it makes me sad for what my future may hold. That said, I love my MIL and we spend just as much time with DH’s family as we do with mine so there’s hope!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Even if you get what you think you want, it still may not be what you expected.

Indeed. I have a son and two teens assigned female at birth who have now both decided they are non-binary. I love them both, but I don't have daughters anymore, I have teens who used to be daughters. We need a gender-neutral word that we just don't have yet to describe this category.

Even when you think you have a son or daughter at birth, apart from the fact that you simply cannot stereotype boys like and do Y and girls like and do X, you have to consider that your kids will choose their own identities.

[Anonymous]

As a former camp counselor, trust me when I say if you get some floss and make some friendship bracelets in “guy colors,” they might get into it, especially over the summer!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Even if you get what you think you want, it still may not be what you expected.

Indeed. I have a son and two teens assigned female at birth who have now both decided they are non-binary. I love them both, but I don't have daughters anymore, I have teens who used to be daughters. We need a gender-neutral word that we just don't have yet to describe this category.

Even when you think you have a son or daughter at birth, apart from the fact that you simply cannot stereotype boys like and do Y and girls like and do X, you have to consider that your kids will choose their own identities.

No, we need a world that embraces, respects, and protects non-binary people, but we don’t need a “gender-neutral world.” That would be sad indeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Even if you get what you think you want, it still may not be what you expected.

Indeed. I have a son and two teens assigned female at birth who have now both decided they are non-binary. I love them both, but I don't have daughters anymore, I have teens who used to be daughters. We need a gender-neutral word that we just don't have yet to describe this category.

Even when you think you have a son or daughter at birth, apart from the fact that you simply cannot stereotype boys like and do Y and girls like and do X, you have to consider that your kids will choose their own identities.

No, we need a world that embraces, respects, and protects non-binary people, but we don’t need a “gender-neutral world.” That would be sad indeed.

Hey, gender warrior. PP said “gender-neutral WORD”, not “gender neutral WORLD”. Drop your dukes. Nobody’s taking away your Barbie aisle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What makes me sad is the matrilineal bond is so much stronger. Boys do what the wife's family wants, often, leaving the boy-grandmother out in the cold.

I don't think this has to do with a "bond". I think it's because (many) women plan and do the work necessary to see their families; (many) men do not. Paternal grandmothers sometimes want to take this out on the wife, but it's likely due to the way they raised their son.