Women 35+ who have never been in a relationship

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Upbringing. A friend is/was very devout. It took her years/decades to understand and accept she would not meet her husband at church. She’s in her first LTR, and we are in are mid-40s.

There are A LOT of Black women in this situation.

this was my problem, too, and I am not black. I met my DH at work, and he's an atheist. I do think religion can make things harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a SIL who is 45 and never been in a relationship. I have no explanation and I have wondered what is going on in her head for years. She is Ivy League educated, great athlete, lots of friends, great family, well traveled, interesting career, and attractive. Are men intimidated by her? Are her standards too high? Or does she simply have no idea how to date? I am mystified by it.

A woman in her 40s who has never had a boyfriend? And regarding this thread, women past their mid 30s and never dated, never had boyfriends?

I'm not sure I believe that because for all time and likely for all eternity, women have always been on the receiving end of sexual attention.

Cases like this are normally male-dominated.

Also in regards to what one of the other users said that some of these women are just not that social or just not good social skills, women normally can get away with having poor social skills and still date and have dating options but men can't.

Since men likely will always be expected to make the first move and Court women and do the pursuing, be the initiators.

[Anonymous]

My SIL is 49 and has never been in a relationship. She's lovely, smart, educated and makes a ton of money as a law partner.

In her case she basically spent her 20s and 30s working long hours. When it seems like marriage and kids wasn't going to happen she started working even more.

She also grew up in the christian church and was told that she should only marry within the faith. That limits the potential dating pool significantly. Yes, she could have made her own life decisions as a adult but even highly intelligent people have a hard time changing course on things like religious teachings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a SIL who is 45 and never been in a relationship. I have no explanation and I have wondered what is going on in her head for years. She is Ivy League educated, great athlete, lots of friends, great family, well traveled, interesting career, and attractive. Are men intimidated by her? Are her standards too high? Or does she simply have no idea how to date? I am mystified by it.

Gay and doesn’t want to come out of the closet to family.

[Anonymous]

Gay or asexual. As long as they're happy, who cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Upbringing. A friend is/was very devout. It took her years/decades to understand and accept she would not meet her husband at church. She’s in her first LTR, and we are in are mid-40s.

There are A LOT of Black women in this situation.

this was my problem, too, and I am not black. I met my DH at work, and he's an atheist. I do think religion can make things harder.

I met my DH at a bar. We are the same religion. It was one of the things in common that got us dating. We would have met years sooner, probably, if we weren’t attending services at churches across town from each other!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL is 49 and has never been in a relationship. She's lovely, smart, educated and makes a ton of money as a law partner.

In her case she basically spent her 20s and 30s working long hours. When it seems like marriage and kids wasn't going to happen she started working even more.

She also grew up in the christian church and was told that she should only marry within the faith. That limits the potential dating pool significantly. Yes, she could have made her own life decisions as a adult but even highly intelligent people have a hard time changing course on things like religious teachings.

I assume she's mostly been single by choice because the majority of women will always have options or will always have suitors in their life.

A very unexpected thread this is because women have always been on the receiving end of sexual attention so women are always less at risk than men are at reaching a certain age or a certain decade and always having been alone or never having been with anyone.

[Anonymous]

What do they do for sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a SIL who is 45 and never been in a relationship. I have no explanation and I have wondered what is going on in her head for years. She is Ivy League educated, great athlete, lots of friends, great family, well traveled, interesting career, and attractive. Are men intimidated by her? Are her standards too high? Or does she simply have no idea how to date? I am mystified by it.

Gay and doesn’t want to come out of the closet to family.

That would be my assumption too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Very pretty" women are almost never single. They must not be pretty.

Untrue. There are many very pretty single women.

They must still be in their 20s.

A "very pretty" woman would be fending off suitors. There are always exceptions, but in 95% of the cases, a really pretty woman would be scooped up real quick.

In the dmv? Where you need a car to get anywhere? Where might these suitors be for a work from home person? At the chicfila? The costco where men keep their gaze to the ceiling and many are with kids? And no dog parks for me after a pit attacked my pup.

What!! The DMV is full of bars, lounges, cultural events, social activities, church groups, volunteer orgs for single women to attend. In fact a lot of events are sausage fests where you have more than your fair pick of professional men. Now that I live in flyover country I realize it really was a land of milk and honey for dating compared to here!

Yep, I met my DH at a post college house party and my Bf met hers at a bar. We are all professionals with graduate degrees and attractive. You guys need to get out more!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do they do for sex

That’s what I’m wondering too! Could imagine living all that time without it.

[Anonymous]

I just don’t know any of these attractive successful women who literally didn’t date at all between age 18-35.

I think the OP must be overstating their attractiveness, because I just don’t think this is a thing.

Otherwise, I’d assume gay or trauma.

The rest of the people on here explaining their reasons just sound mentally off, and that seems like as good a reason as any to be single. But again, I doubt they’re in the upper half of attractiveness.

[Anonymous]

Physical attractiveness doesn’t matter one way or the other. I’ve known loads of unattractive people in relationships and happily married, have kids, all that. You do have to be honest with yourself about your own attractiveness level and go for someone about your same level, but as long as that’s the case it’s fine. “Older” single people are that way because they don’t put themselves out there. There’s a variety of reasons for that but that’s what it comes down to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do they do for sex

Battery-operated boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

37 yo man here, never been in a relationship. In college I had a gf for 4 months but I wouldn't call it a relationship, just casual dating. Couple of one night stands since college.

I want a relationship but I can never attract the type of women that I really want.