Women 35+ who have never been in a relationship

[Anonymous]

I have a lot of female acquaintances who are 35+ but have never been in a relationship. They are very pretty, educated, professionally successful, and have interesting hobbies. I understand if someone was unlucky in love and hasn’t met the right person, but it’s hard for me to understand never even trying. They might go on the occasional first date but have never had anyone they introduce as a partner or SO and never talk about looking for it. I’m so curious about how this happened but don’t want to be rude and ask them.

I also know men 35+ who have never been in relationships but it seems a bit different — for them it seems more related to social awkwardness, fear of rejection, or laziness. But who knows.

[Anonymous]

It sounds heavenly. As a woman who dated a lot in high school and met my husband in college I really wish I’d been the single woman who was living her life. I had my kids because that was the natural order of things. College, career, husband, house, dog, kids. Checked those boxes off.

After the divorce I realized how incredibly happy I could be alone. How amazing it was to be completely and utterly selfish and it wouldn’t impact anyone and no one could judge me for the way I chose to live. I’ve been able to make decisions for me and do whatever I wanted to do. It’s incredibly freeing.

Kids are in college and will always come first but the freedom being alone brings is just amazing! I’d bet at least a few of those women the OP knows are single by choice. There comes a time when you can be pickier about a partner and if you’re living the good life a partner needs to bring a lot to the table to be worthy of adding them into your life.

[Anonymous]

I didn't have a serious relationship until I was 30 due to "social awkwardness, fear of rejection, or laziness".

It wasn't until I was happy with myself that I put myself out there, but it was still scary for me, and I was still awkward about it. But, DH then my BF was super patient with me.

I was successful and attractive (I assume from the compliments I got).

I remember the guy I somewhat dated in college said to me that I seemed so put together and self assured, but I wasn't. I had deep deep self esteem issues and fear of rejection/getting hurt. That ruined my relationship with this guy. I came across as cold and difficult, when it reality, I was just super awkward about my feelings and showing them, and had low self esteem. I closed myself off.

OTH, if I had never met DH, I think I would've found a friend to travel a lot with, and I would have been able to find some happiness that way.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like my sister in law. She just doesn’t put herself out there. It makes me wonder what the future looks like for her.

[Anonymous]

My cousin is like this. She has a master's degree, is well put-together, social, etc.

But her parents have raised her to be a total princess so she wants someone that treats her like a princess and caters to her every need and also is very tall, good looking, great job, etc.

[Anonymous]

They are very pretty, educated, professionally successful, and have interesting hobbies.

But they have few social skills. They don't know how to date. They don't know how to communicate well. They don't know how to be with someone in a non-work capacity. They have no idea about how to sustain a long-term, loving relationship with one other person. No man her age wants to teach her how, either. Instead, a man will look at her and think there must be a bad reason why she's never had a long-term relationship. Next.

That's the cold, hard truth.

[Anonymous]

"Very pretty" women are almost never single. They must not be pretty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Very pretty" women are almost never single. They must not be pretty.

This is untrue. A lot of the prettiest women I know are single while some of the dumpiest women are paired up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Very pretty" women are almost never single. They must not be pretty.

Go to the thread about the prettiest sorority sisters. Sometimes the prettiest women are the ones with the hardest time pairing up for the long haul. A lot of them get in relationships when young with the players and bad boys and then are surprised when it doesn't work out or lead to anything long term. Or they have impossible standards or are difficult to be with in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

I'll answer.

I was about 30 when I finally got into a serious relationship. My upbringing was very puritanical, but not in a religious sense. My whole family was just prudes. My ideas of relationships came from romance novels and some very skewed perception of sexuality. By the time I was in my late 20s I tried to loosen up and have casual relationships, but it just didn't work for me that way. In short, I didn't know how to date or relate to men.

[Anonymous]

I have a SIL who is 45 and never been in a relationship. I have no explanation and I have wondered what is going on in her head for years. She is Ivy League educated, great athlete, lots of friends, great family, well traveled, interesting career, and attractive. Are men intimidated by her? Are her standards too high? Or does she simply have no idea how to date? I am mystified by it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Very pretty" women are almost never single. They must not be pretty.

Untrue. There are many very pretty single women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Very pretty" women are almost never single. They must not be pretty.

Untrue. There are many very pretty single women.

They must still be in their 20s.

A "very pretty" woman would be fending off suitors. There are always exceptions, but in 95% of the cases, a really pretty woman would be scooped up real quick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Very pretty" women are almost never single. They must not be pretty.

Untrue. There are many very pretty single women.

They must still be in their 20s.

A "very pretty" woman would be fending off suitors. There are always exceptions, but in 95% of the cases, a really pretty woman would be scooped up real quick.

In the dmv? Where you need a car to get anywhere? Where might these suitors be for a work from home person? At the chicfila? The costco where men keep their gaze to the ceiling and many are with kids? And no dog parks for me after a pit attacked my pup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Very pretty" women are almost never single. They must not be pretty.

Untrue. There are many very pretty single women.

They must still be in their 20s.

A "very pretty" woman would be fending off suitors. There are always exceptions, but in 95% of the cases, a really pretty woman would be scooped up real quick.

In the dmv? Where you need a car to get anywhere? Where might these suitors be for a work from home person? At the chicfila? The costco where men keep their gaze to the ceiling and many are with kids? And no dog parks for me after a pit attacked my pup.

What!! The DMV is full of bars, lounges, cultural events, social activities, church groups, volunteer orgs for single women to attend. In fact a lot of events are sausage fests where you have more than your fair pick of professional men. Now that I live in flyover country I realize it really was a land of milk and honey for dating compared to here!